starfall

becca | 19 | pacific nw | acotar-centric [ main blog: suncirclet ]

[sapaul]

People are too funny. Out here calling SJM basic for pairing 3 brothers with 3 sisters… like babe, you’re reading romantasy, not Shakespeare. This is the same woman who made the answer to a life-or-death riddle… love. Y’all knew what you signed up for.

[pinkstarlightcomputer]

Cesare Maggi A San Mauro in una sera d'inverno 1911 oil on canvas 105x145,5 cm.

[kopfkino-o]

In Defense of Azriel: A Dissertation, Part One

One thing I see a lot within this fandom is the suggestion that Azriel, somehow, feels entitled to Elain, that he is some raging incel or some torture-loving freak or a white knight only interested in pursuing unattainable women, etc etc. And I am just not okay with that.

Azriel is SUCH a nuanced character and the fact so many people fail to see the context of his personality, his role within the narrative, and the obvious themes SJM is using in regard to his character is just... baffling to me. Especially when he has the potential to be such a powerful male character with an important story that deserves to be told.

So here we go, I'm defending Azriel with my whole chest. This is obviously a pro-Azriel post with pro-Elriel undertones, so if that isn't your thing then SCROLL.

Thx love you all bye.

1) Azriel suffers greatly with his sense of self-worth, so much so he thinks he is deserving of nothing.

We learn first from Mor that Azriel thinks so little of himself, no doubt a direct symptom of his childhood, that he harbors a deep sense of unworthiness. So much so that even if he were a prince, even if the woman he loved (I question this, but that is a whole other post I'll save for later, so I digress) stripped naked before him he wouldn't feel worthy enough to act.

"The issue, actually, wouldn't be me. It'd be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it wouldn't matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris--he'll still see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me." - Mor, ACOMAF, Chapter 52

I think this is a great line to turn to when trying to understand the value Az places on himself. Mor says it herself, she could strip naked for him and he would still see himself as undeserving, still see himself as someone who shouldn't be granted the chance to have her affection. If he feels his way with Mor, someone who he supposedly has loved for centuries (again, I question this lol), then I think it's fair to claim he probably sees himself this way with all women.

This feels like the furthest thing from entitlement to me.

We can also see this inclination towards self-loathing come up again in the ACOSF Az bonus chapter when he gifts the necklace to Elain for the first time.

"He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin." - Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2)

These thoughts don't come from him thinking that he and Elain are wrong for wanting to be together, that their shared moment of affection (both now and as hinted at by the "This was the furthest it had ever gone" line) is wrong, but rather from this innate feeling of unworthiness. Az sees himself as nothing (see point below) and cannot fathom why someone like Elain, lovely Elain who resembles hope and the sun at dawn, would ever stop and see him. Give him her time, her offer and permission, would ever call his scarred hands-- the physical reminder of his trauma--beautiful.

He thinks it's wrong because he believes someone like him could never deserve a woman like her.

"Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all." Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2).

LIKE COME ON. This man sees himself as nothing. The fact he spoke up regarding his thoughts on the Cauldron potentially being wrong to begin with was a big thing for him, he who has many secrets, and Rhys SHUT HIM DOWN. 500+ years and even Cassian states Az is slow to open up, see below:

"Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up." - Cassian, ACOSF, Chapter Nineteen

Az did speak this time, he felt so strongly and questioned fate itself so fiercely that he opened up to Rhys. He questioned the Cauldron, the fatemaker itself, not because he is entitled to Elain, but because there is something between them, something that has been brewing between them ever since their first meeting, something so fierce he is (finally) compelled to open up, to speak because he was ready. Think about how important that is for a character like him. Azriel, whose brothers of 500+ years could move a mountain more easily than get him to open up, did in fact, open up...

And he was shot down.

Of course, he wasn't going to wax off a lecture about Rhys's suggestion being wrong--because it was Rhys, not Azriel, who suggested entitlement.

Rhys's face drained of color. " You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

Azriel never suggested anything like this. An overwhelmed, distraught Rhys who feared for his mate and unborn child did.

And Azriel shut down, just as he did when he first confessed his feelings to Mor, and immediately abandoned the conversation in favor of silence. Not because he was pissed, or felt he was wronged, but because he saw these moments as validation of his nothingness, proof he was nothing, would always be nothing.

2) "If I Fail, They Will Leave Me" Complex

One thing I think that is important about Azriel's character that is often overlooked is his liberation from his father's dungeon. He wasn't set free when his hands were burned, rather returned to his "dark, airless cell" where was forced to continue on, burned and broken, for three years.

Three bloody years.

It was only when/sometime after his shadowsinging gifts first emerged that he was granted freedom. If you can call it that. Not because he was a little boy who deserved freedom, but because he had magic: a tool of value, a weapon to be used.

And used it was.

We learn from Rhys that Shadowsingers are highly coveted...

"Shadowsingers are rare--coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can't." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

And that Az was sent to the camp only AFTER his gifts were discovered.

"Az's father sent him to our camp once he and his charming wife realized he was a shadowsinger." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

This all goes to say that Azriel's freedom was largely granted because of his magic. What would this say to a literal child? He was only valuable because of his magic, because of what he could do.

And this need to please, this need to serve, and the subsequent fear of failure are very prevalent within Az's character. He runs himself ragged, he brings too much onto his plate, he is so busy he doesn't sleep, he always volunteers to put himself into harm's way because he thinks that is all he has to offer. I suspect his time working as the personal spymaster for Rhys's father might also have contributed to these feelings, but I don't have enough info at current to delve any further into that.

Moving on, all this also goes to combat the "pro-torture" argument I sometimes see. Do I think Azriel loves slicing and dicing? No, not really. Same as Rhys doesn't like breaking into people's minds. I suspect Az sees his work in Hewn City as a similarly necessary evil, something he must do (rather than anyone else) because he is already "tainted", something he has to do to be worthy. Something he does because, regardless of how it makes him feel, provides value to his loved ones. I suspect Az probably feels if he were to stay no, if he were to refuse, then he would be deemed useless, unworthy, and abandoned as a result. Not that this would ever happen, but I think Az probably sees so little value in himself he thinks only his magic and skills are all he can provide his brothers. Not because they don't love and support him, but because years and years of trauma reinforce this idea.

It's really, really heartbreaking if you think about it.

Anywayssss, that's all I have in me for tonight, but I've got a few other points I will be adding to expand this post! I love (civil) fandom discourse, so feel free to drop in thoughts and opinions below.

Thanks for reading this behemoth!

[acotars]

thank you all so much for over 2.5k !! 

to celebrate, i’ll be hosting a favorite characters event! you, my followers, will vote for your top five female and male ya lit characters and then i’ll make edits for the winners!

to enter: 

must be following me lmao

reblog this post

take this survey to vote for your favorite characters!

once you’ve voted, send me an ask with ☆ + your name + a brief description of your personal aesthetic! if you have a personal pinterest board you’d like to link or an aes tag on your blog let me know bc that will help too!

for entering, you’ll receive a personalized aes poster set ! inspiration from these draws heavily from steph @juneclaremont !! please follow her bc she’s the best blogger on this site 

and that’s it! voting for the favorite characters event will close on june 5th! thank you all so much for following me :) i love u all so so very much. 

[twilightly]

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

[burntcopper]

Kromlau bridge, Germany, during all four seasons.

[chartermagic]

Another in my travel poster inspired pieces. The City of Velaris from the ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ series of books by Sarah. J. Maas.

[moami]

I just want to mind my business and speak 6 languages

[sistertaxon]

straight friend groups are like: *blonde girl* *chad* *the funny one* *kyle* *brunette girl* *frat boy*

gay friend groups are like: *the feminist mom friend* *ex-pro wrestler* *disgraced prince* *living reincarnation of the earth spirit born into the body of a young boy who was frozen in a glacier for a century and awoke to find that his people were the victims of a genocide and he is the sole survivor* *sokka*

[starfallkaz]

Image: has exactly 1 star on it

SJMAAS Stans: omG feysand 😭😭😭 my ship, chAPTER 55, get me an Illyrian warrior

[acourtofcouture]

The Night Court Jewelry Vault, 2/?

[feyre-is-a-darling]

Mor: I got called gay in the Winter Court the other day.

Feyre: why? What happened?

Mor: I got called gay in the Winter Court

Feyre: Yeah.. but why?

Mor: I was being gay.

Feyre: In the Winter Court?

Mor: Yeah... it was in the Winter Court

[ladyeowyn]

✦ @booksociety​’s Retellings event: The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden Vasya felt cold despite the steam. “Why would I choose to die?” “It is easy to die,” replied the bannik. “Harder to live. Do not forget me, Vasilisa Petrovna.” And there was only vapor where he had been. Holy Mother, Vasya thought, I’ve had enough of their mad warnings.

[acotars]

@faenet event: joy

No one was my master— but I might be master of everything, if I wished. If I dared.

[chartermagic]

Another in my travel poster inspired pieces. The City of Velaris from the ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ series of books by Sarah. J. Maas.

[softkylos-a-deactivated20211130]

My mate. My mate. My mate. 

[mote-historie]

René Lalique, Bat anklet, 1898-1899. 

Opals, diamonds and blue enamel.

Photo by Jean Tholance.

Museé des Arts Decoratifs, Paris, France.

In 1899 Liane de Pougy commissioned two pieces of jewelry by René Lalique as gifts for Natalie Clifford Barney. One was an opal, diamond and blue enamel anklet and the other a silver, enamel and moonstone ring. Both pieces were decorated with a bat motif, an extremely unusual and highly evocative image for the period. The bat has the highest rate of homosexuality among mammals and their sexuality was first studied in 1895 by Raymond Rollinat and Édouard Louis Trouessart (French). The image of a bat became a symbol of homosexuality. (x)