Entry #3: The Spiral
Date of writing: 6-10-2024 & 7-10-2024
Date of publishing: 18-10-2024
The spiral is a symbol that represents the cycle of life; birth, growth, death and rebirth. It represents going from the outside to within, from ego to soul. Expanding and growing in spirit.
However, no one seems to be talking about the painful process of the movement of growth and expansion itself.
You’re stuck in limbo, some parts of the old you are dying very slowly. All you can do is watch them as your ego is clinging onto you like a leech. You try to shake them off, but it seems pointless. They’re dying anyway.
You know the stories they have been telling you are far from the truth, yet you still extend your energy to listen to them.
You are changing and you are terrified. In a state of panic, the voices in your head try to convince you that the way that things were fine and they shouldn’t change, you shouldn’t change.
But as you look outside and look at your pack of cigarettes and ashtray of unfinished joints and messy room and unbrushed teeth and aching body and unfulfilled promises to yourself, you know things weren’t fine.
You know you weren’t fine.
You know you should change.
So you cancel out the noise. You acknowledge that anything your ego is saying to you right now is useless and a part of the old story. You know that the voices in your head are lying, because of the fear of change.
You repeat to yourself over and over again that it’s for the better and that you will be so much better off if you just let it go.
As you hear just a little less noise and can now see how the last few parts of the old you are taking their last breath, you know you must go within now.
It’s scary to go within. You haven’t been there a while. Too scared, too stoned, too numb. Yet your sensitive heart brought you here, back on your yellow brick road. And as you begin walking it again, you notice the pattern of you walking in circles…again.
And you realized this won’t be the last time.
Channeled songs/lyrics
Oblivion by Jhené Aiko; the world’s a fucking mess it makes me sick and i am every bit a part of it. I may have started it
Womb by Melanie Martinez; feeling alive the closer that I get to my life.
555: change, transformation, good luck, personal growth, spiritual guidance, spirit is with you at ALL TIME, things are shaking, be prepared to roll with it, embrace the next stage of your journey, big bright light, big bright energy, expansion, don’t shy away from your own growth!
Author’s note: Thank you for reading, first of all! I wrote this around a time where I knew I needed to let go of old beliefs and actually start BELIEVING in the story I have wanted for so long. If you can relate to this poem in anyway, I want to remind you that you are not alone in your process and you are doing so well! Keep trusting your own judgment and keep going, you are growing more than you think you are. I love you <3
