ok so. some Things to Say.
so i haven’t posted in, like, over a week. maybe you noticed, or maybe you didn’t, but, like, i have not been super active on tumblr or on, like, anything. i’ve been Struggling pretty badly. it’s a long story, but to keep it short — Depression and Anxiety like to do their thing sometimes, and sometimes when they do their thing i end up out of commission. barely able to, like, do anything at all that isn’t try to get through the present moment. so it sucks, and — yeah. that’s why i’ve been gone. and so, like, i’m sorry for that. i apologize for not letting y’all know i was going to take a mini-hiatus, but to be fair i did not Know i was going to take a mini-hiatus in advance. so like. that’s that. but i do apologize, and i will try to be active again!
so. other things i have to say. so it’s like. in the mental fog, i was not able to play e33, or any other game. and that sucked, because e33 gives me dopamine. so like. i was suffering, and not having a good time, but then yesterday i started to feel a Little better, better enough to consider picking e33 back up. but, like, i had this dilemma. i was like — hmm. i can start the game over, because i’m decently far into it (inside the monolith), and, like, have a Fresh experience. or, you know, i could simply continue where i left off. so like. it was decision time, and i couldn’t really decide, so i ended up going to sleep with the promise i would decide in the morning.
well, it’s morning now, and i have Decided. i have made the decision to keep going from where i left off, and that decision was, ultimately, made from how much i’ve desperately missed verso over the past week. so i was like — i gotta see Him. i gotta see Verso. so anyway. i load up the game, and i see verso, and i’m, like, happy. but it’s just the part where you first enter the monolith and run to the fight that you can’t deal damage in, so i’m just, like, whimsically making my way there, and then —
and i Really see him. and, like — i cannot stress this enough — i felt Alive for the first time since i’d closed the game nine days ago. my heart, like, starts to race, and my stomach twists in excitement, and i have butterflies, and i’m, you know, giggling and blushing and kicking my feet and twirling my hair and stuff. so like. the Love did not fade at all — if anything my absence from the game has made the love grow stronger. so there’s that. in case anyone was Worried i wasn’t all about verso anymore, i am going to confidently say that i 100% am.
so that’s fun, and i’m happier than i’ve been in a week, and so, like — yeah. i just wanted to share. i know this is long, and probably unnecessary, but i did just want to share it because this is my blog and i want this documented so i can come back to it in the future!
anyway. i love you all. i’ve missed you all. i can’t promise to be as active as i was, but i’m back, baby.
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