- - Dead, But Still Sleepy

[mudkipsdaily]

[cannibalchicken]

[beardedmrbean]

[thebootydiaries]

[memorijal]

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

[llovinghome]

[thestalkerbunny]

Familiars practicing for when their Witch takes them on their first broom ride

[edgebug]

so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night

[sure-to-lure-someone-bad-deacti]

That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read oh my god

[justastormie]

so when i was about the same age i got really into both ciphers and james madison (idk don’t ask) so i just randomly started writing these letters like i was james madison writing to my own spy ring, using all kinds of ciphers. constantly writing that WE MUST SWITCH CIPHERS THE BRITISH ARE ON TO US. and it wasn’t every night because the ciphers kept getting more complex, but it was about one every week for six months and my mother always responded. and she always found the letters, because i took to hiding them in increasingly more obscure locations because spies, obviously. 

i didn’t realize how much work this was until i snuck down late one night for a cookie. and saw my mother bent over my giant book of ciphers and muttering to the dog “is this another code or can she not spell?” (i could not and still can not spell) and i was a bit angry at first but i kept watching and she KEPT AT IT. checking everything in that book against my letter and i never felt so loved. my mom with a full time job sitting up to figure out my silly letters said just because i enjoyed the game. 

i got her this bio of james madison a few years ago for xmas with a simple number substitution cipher on the inside saying “In thanks for your dedicated years of service, your daughter and occasional President.” She still has it pride of place on her desk next to the obligatory kid pics

so yeah cute mom story for the day. 

[unicornempire]

These are some of the best secret mom stories I’ve ever read, omg.

[justlifehacks]

100-Year-Old Life Hacks That Are Surprisingly Useful Today

People don’t often look back on the early 1900’s for advice, but what if we could actually learn something from the Lost Generation? The New York Public Library has digitized 100 “how to do it” cards found in cigarette boxes over 100 years ago, and the tips they give are so practical that millennials reading this might want to take notes.

Back in the day, cigarette cards were popular collectibles included in every pack, and displayed photos of celebrities, advertisements, and more. Gallaher cigarettes, a UK-founded tobacco company that was once the largest in the world, decided to print a series of helpful how-to’s on their cards, which ranged from mundane tasks (boiling potatoes) to unlikely scenarios (stopping a runaway horse). Most of them are insanely clever, though, like how to make a fire extinguisher at home. Who even knew you could do that?

The entire set of life hacks is now part of the NYPL’s George Arents Collection. Check out some of the cleverest ones we could find below. You never know when you’ll have to clean real lace!

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

Afficher davantage

[desinteresse]

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

[desinteresse]

Me, as a vampire: oh geez

Friend: What’s wrong

Me: Just remembered that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said “Enjoyeth thy meal!” I replied with “Thee as well”

[earthdad]

don’t plan to marry me unless you plan to propose with this

[thelilnan]

I was watching Pokémon: Indigo League on Netflix and the Pokédex called Kakuna a “transitional Pokémon”

and then suddenly this happened

[thelilnan]

so this post is officially 4 years old today. it’s far and away my most popular drawing, so much so that even now, it gets tons of notes and reblogs every day. i appreciate that! it’s exciting and I’m glad so many people like my idea and designs. as a trans person myself, seeing other people commenting on which Evolution they’re at and how much they identify with my designs makes me feel amazing! i feel like i’m giving back to my community and really helping people.

the problem however is that because of its popularity, this is also my most stolen and reposted work. i’ve seen my signature erased or cropped out more times than I can count, everywhere from Facebook to Twitter to Reddit to Instagram. recently people have started editing the picture for phone backgrounds and lockscreens, which I don’t support at all. i would’ve been happy to design custom lockscreens for these people, as I am a commission artist, but it’s easier for people to just photoshop my art. I can’t stop that.

it does hurt though.

so i just want to ask, if you like this work, if you’ve seen it floating around out there without credit to me, if it means something to you… consider buying me a Ko-Fi? i’d really appreciate it.

xx

[rocketmermaid]

Reblogging to boost and support the original artist.

[trans-girl-stuff]

get rekt nerds

[charlesoberonn]

The song “Jolene” but the singer never stops describing Jolene, going into more and more details and getting more and more disturbing until you’re not sure what Jolene is except that you’re afraid of her.

[maenadmars]

♪ your teeth are sharp / your mouth agape your claws rend flesh / there’s no escape from the judgement of the Eldritch One, Jolene ♪

[smalltall]

He screams about you in his sleep and when he wakes, does naught but weep in terror, of the one they call Jolene

[butts-for-days]

blackening the summer skies

with burning wings and countless eyes

we tremble at the sight of you, Jolene

[animatedamerican]

♪  we cower here beneath your gaze that sets the earth and sky ablaze have mercy at the end of days, Jolene  ♪

[blackzelda]

Do companies realize that they’ll eventually run out of people who can realistically fill their demands if they keep demanding you have 3-5+ years experience at 25 and refuse to hire anything less

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

actually, I think what they are doing is hiring 25 year olds with 1 year of experience and using that as a way to coerce the 25 year old to accept less pay.

They post 3-5 years experience at 45,000 on the job boards. Which is the market value of the position.But not for someone who has worked in the field for 5 years who at that point in their career might demand 50,000 instead.

then when people come in with 1 year of experience *(which is really secretly all the experience that is needed for the job) they go “oohhhh so. we really like you but based on your experience level we’re going to start you at 35k? is that okay? You know, cause we could be getting someone with 5 years experience, but we really like you.”

And then the 25 year old feels lucky to get ahead and get the job in the first place so they say yes

[rock-fish-deactivated20201231]

there’s also been a surge of companies complaining they “have to” relax their hiring standards (and, yeop, lower pay) bc otherwise they can’t find candidates, so yea you’re not wrong

[the-real-seebs]

People have also pointed out the existence of ads requesting 8 years of experience with Swift, a programming language which has been out for about 3 years.

[hellothisisangle]

More rain please

[berniesrevolution]

[theconcealedweapon]

Do these assholes realize that people on food stamps don’t receive unlimited money?

[funkpunkandroll84-deactivated20]

No they don’t. Wait until they find out most of the food stamp recipients are white…

[gehayi]

From the USDA Food and Nutrition Service:

The Food and Nutrition Act of 2008 (the Act) defines eligible food as any food or food product for home consumption and also includes seeds and plants which produce food for consumption by SNAP households. The Act precludes the following items from being purchased with SNAP benefits:  alcoholic beverages, tobacco products, hot food and any food sold for on-premises consumption. Nonfood items such as pet foods, soaps, paper products, medicines and vitamins, household supplies, grooming items, and cosmetics, also are ineligible for purchase with SNAP benefits.  

Soft drinks, candy, cookies, snack crackers, and ice cream are food items and are therefore eligible items

Seafood, steak, and bakery cakes are also food items and are therefore eligible items

So according to law, people cannot get hot food with SNAP. They cannot buy soap, vitamins, medicine, shampoo, Kleenex, or toilet paper–all of which involve hygiene and health, and which most people would consider necessities–with SNAP.

Now the Greedy GOP (in the form of Chris McDaniel of Mississippi) wants to take away two of the foods that ARE allowed. Wouldn’t want poor people actually eating,  would they?

[solarcat]

You also have NO IDEA why a person is buying something with their food stamps. Maybe they’re buying that steak as a special treat for their anniversary, or that cake is for their kid’s birthday. Just because people are poor doesn’t mean they should have to live without ever having anything nice ever. That’s a shitty thing to expect of anyone, but some of these people act like it’s humane to expect people to live on a diet of rice and beans.

[alternativeblkgal]

I’ve worked in many stores that accept ebt and the computer accepts whatever amount of their balance qualifies for their food and they have to pay the rest. You can’t buy candy or most junk food. You can’t get anything prepared. I mean you literally get the bare minimum. I had many customers come in with their ebt, that would cover like $20 of their groceries and they would have to shell out like $50 for the rest. It’s not this magical free food card like people be thinking.

[the-sunshine-cult-deactivated20]

Just because people are poor doesn’t mean they should have to live without ever having anything nice ever.

[jemthecrystalgem]

Feels relevant to point out also that poverty and being poor is not a natural phenomenon. Poor people are forced to be poor and often given NO real help to escape poverty. Nobody deserve to be treated as lesser just because they’re poor. Stop treating poor people like they’re less than human because they’re poor.

[gaydelgard]

ok you know what tahani is more fucking valid than anyone because she never wanted anything that wasn’t 100% justified

her parents treated her like garbage and she only comes across as full of herself because literally not a single one of her achievements was ever fucking recognized by anyone around her, least of all the two people whos opinion she actually cared about, her parents

nothing she wanted ever was detrimental to any other person in any way

it wasn’t about making everyone around her think she was a saint, she just wanted to do something that would finally be seen as enough

it wasnt even about outdoing her sister it was just about being recognized for her accomplishments in her own right

so dont sit there with this she was doing good things with bad intentions stuff

she was doing good things for her own reasons, and it wasnt about the magnanimity of helping people, but that doesn’t make her motivations bad objectively

[gaydelgard]

and like her final test to see whether she was a good person was to walk down that hallway lined with rooms where people were gossiping about her

and she passed by aaalll the doors of aaall the famous people and socialites that she talks about all the time and the one room she finally did stop at was her parents!

there’s nothing vain about desiring approval from your parents! she just wanted acknowledgment. from her parents. there’s no fucking realm of reality where you can frame that as vain! she wanted her parents not to treat her like complete fucking garbage for one goddamn second.

like having bad parents is a bad enough environment to grow up in but having them treat you so unjustly your whole life while watching that so completely opposite and juxtaposed with the way they treat your only other sibling. thats so horrible.

and tahani stopping to get some closure on that CANNOT be termed selfish. theres just no fuckin way