Who fell first in this popular ship?
Ibuki Mioda
Mikan Tsumiki
Previous Polls:
Poll for Ikuzono here.
Poll for Tokomaru here.
Poll for Komahina here.
Poll for Sakuraoi here.
As I see it ... (If you know me, you know this needs a readmore)
Ibuki is a flirt with all her friends. She'll hype up Chiaki in a bikini, she'll hold hands with Peko, she'll toss off compliments. It's her way of showing affection. It's also her way of showing attraction. Putting out feelers, seeing if anyone's receptive.
Mikan doesn't understand that. She's too busy turning over a single bit of Ibuki's praise in her head, inspecting words and tone for any hint of sarcasm or criticism or insult with a lawyer's scrutiny. When Ibuki leans her head on her shoulder, the warmth of the touch lingers. Has anyone been so kind, so gentle, so sweet with her in Hope's Peak? In her entire life?
So Mikan falls first. Of course it'll go unrequited. Who could ever like her? But she's learned over time that simply liking someone can feel nice on its own. When it stops feeling good, life will be ever much the same. For now, she'll bask in this beam of hope.
When people starved of affection receive so much as a crumb, they often find it hard to hide their joy. Ibuki would notice that gooey, glazed look on Mikan's face. (You know the sprite.) And she'd ... panic. That's not how this is supposed to go! The script is that her gal pals brush her off. That tenderness is just Ibuki being her cute and friendly self. She's been putting out feelers since puberty. Now she realizes that she'd given up on anyone ever really responding.
But does that mean she likes Mikan? Or does she just like that Mikan likes her? That thought twists her stomach around. Ibuki never meant to phunk with anyone's heart. She keeps being friendly with the girl, but she starts to cool it with the cute nicknames and the nose-boops. Even eye contact becomes difficult to maintain, lest she look into Ibuki's soul and see a player.
Mikan notices. She was ready for the withdrawal. It's not her first time creeping someone out. With Ibuki, though, it hurts differently. Her kindness was constant, and she never asked for anything in exchange. Ibuki not returning her crush was how the world works, but losing her friendship is agonizing.
While this is happening, Ibuki wants to get out of her own head. So she picks at other people's brains, explaining her tangled feelings and insecurities. Is she evil? Hiyoko can't believe she's so tripped up over Mikan of all people. Mahiru hopes this teaches a lesson about flirting with everyone. Peko thinks she has a duty to be direct about her feelings ... but what IS she feeling?
To Hajime, it just sounds like Ibuki really likes Mikan.
The earth's axis tilts beneath Ibuki's feet. She vaguely remembers from science class that it's supposed to be tilted.
When asked, he repeats himself with a shrug. Would she really worry so much about hurting Mikan otherwise? Ibuki protests that she wouldn't wanna hurt anyone. Maybe not, but would she always devote this much time and energy, or ask all these people what they think is right? Is it possible that her affectionate words and behavior with Mikan reflected how she felt inside? Maybe she doubts herself so much because she doesn't know how to deal with someone liking her back.
So, he asks, how HAS she been dealing with it when she hangs out with Mikan?
Well, she answers, she sorta kinda hasn't been.
Chiaki, seated beside Hajime, wonders aloud if this is why Mikan seemed especially morose lately.
Ibuki jolts to her feet, bolts from the room, and runs to find her friend. She does, and Mikan can scarcely believe what Ibuki is babbling. It's a little hard to comprehend, between the fast talking and the tangents and the blubbering, but she gets the gist: she likes her. She's so freaking sorry. She likes her.
For the first time, Mikan's the one with the power to accept or reject.
She sits with her feelings for a moment.
She asks when it started for Ibuki.
Ibuki doesn't know. She's liked her since 20 minutes ago. She's liked her since they first met. Their friendship had always made her happy. When she first noticed Mikan looking at her a different way, maybe it gave Ibuki permission to hope for more, with all the uncertainty that comes with hope. Or maybe that helped Ibuki see her own feelings in a new way and find something that's long been there ...
But if Mikan doesn't feel the same, can they please at least be friends?
Who fell first? Sometimes it's easy to know. I recall the exact moment I saw a close friend of five years in a new light. Sometimes, it's hazier. Said friend doesn't quite remember when sparked their crush on me. What matters more to me than a cute story is that we chose to tell each other, even when it seemed unlikely or flat-out hopeless, because we wanted to be open with someone who meant so much to us. (We're married now. We recently commemorated 10 years of dating.)
Anyway. Mikan says what she never thought she'd get to say, what Ibuki never thought she'd ever hear: "I like you too." They wouldn't know how to answer this question. They'd just be glad it worked out.
