wisdom

what would you do if today were cancelled?

[animentality]

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[energyprison]

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[captain-price-returns]

[baatjr-deactivated20150830]

yes teenage girls can be dramatic and wild but honestly have u ever even seen what happens when u tell a grown man ‘no’

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[cbc-bb-deactivated20250802]

please be patient with me im from the 1900s

[gonzos-humansona]

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[orteil42]

i believe an important kind of creative process is "i didn't know that wasn't allowed"

[kosmogrl]

[poobletoods]

i call this phenomenon "god hates me"

[salvadorbonaparte]

I told my students they're allowed to be creative and don't have to be factual when writing about themselves in German because I keep getting questions like "what if I don't have roommates or what if I don't have hobbies" and I'm like guys just make something up! Have fun! I won't fact check you!

So now I am grading homework where a student is claiming to be from North Korea and his hobby is tax fraud

[gay-jamie]

I did this back in German 201, shortly before the 2015 US primaries. I wrote a letter as Donald Trump (who I did not think was a real candidate at the time) and mistakenly asked the reader if they were good in bed B)

[xylophonetangerine]

I didn't even know they had a category for that

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Hollywood really could have that category

[vaporsnake]

they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri

[vaporsnake]

would you prefer if she had a different fetish tumblr user nutsacktorturer

[icarusdiesatdawn]

There should be an equivalent to asking "how's the wife and kids?" that's like "so how's that fictional man of yours doing?"

[runawaymarbles]

Via @morhath