❗Pro tip: You can think about gay sex on the clock. It's free and they can't stop you.

tannertan36
Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
hello vonnie

PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
we're not kids anymore.
Not today Justin

Origami Around
🪼
seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from South Korea

seen from Brazil
seen from United States
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seen from France
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seen from Malaysia

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@victorian-lad
❗Pro tip: You can think about gay sex on the clock. It's free and they can't stop you.
the bus is never going to come because im a bad person
my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning
everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.
extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all
examples:
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
what nobody tells you about weekends is that it’s already monday
I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.
drug addicts deserve housing, food, water, and healthcare btw
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
this is how new yorkers @ mamdani
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.
Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really makes a difference if you even care.
remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app
i really don’t have the time to be the way i am