Untitled

[videos4faggie]

pubby ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

[videos4faggie]

send me 2 heaven

[videos4faggie]

Stanzas

a door that unlocks from both sides

doesn’t do much to keep secrets

a door boarded up on both sides

does so much more

spare planks nails a hammer

and a rusting axe

it doesn’t open up it is broken down

winter and spring it dampens and molds

summer and autumn it dries and cracks

fingernails break on the splintering wood

sad-sad something a boy-girl-boy-girl

cut-a-wrist-a-leg-a-hip

in-the corner it lies-in-a-curl

tears-mix-with-blood-mix-with-the

liquor dripping from the-corners-of

my-mouth-just-below-my-powder

stained nostrils that sting-and-itch-and

my-sights-black-my-feelings-gone

[peonyandsage]

[rodrickheffeley]

i want what they have

[videos4faggie]

curtains

the wrinkles in the curtains take the shape of faces

they stare at me unblinking

some scream at me begging to be freed

others are too glum to make noise

others cackle with glee at their misfortune

their grey imprints against the dull green swirl around me

the curtains are alive

[videos4faggie]

we having funnnb

[videos4faggie]

early new years

[catherine-zita-live-music-blog]

[videos4faggie]

a dripping faucet in my therapists waiting room

///

a picture of the sky taken from outside my therapists office

[videos4faggie]

[videos4faggie]

Ascent.

I take one. I hover above the ground, my toes occasionally scraping against the earth.

I take another. I float among the clouds, basking in the sun, singing to birds.

I take another. I am drifting with the stars, watching the fluctuations of suns and the orbits of planets.

I take another. I am a celestial body made up of swirling galaxies and sparkling nebulas.

I take one more. I am everything. I am nothing.

[videos4faggie]

all i remember

months ago, i had a dream. i was in a car with my mother and sister and we were heading down summit. my mother was driving and she was in an argument with my sister. things were getting intense and she would occasionally look back at my sister to glare at her. after a half hour of this, they were screaming louder than ever and my mother was looking at my sister more than the road. at a particularly sharp turn, my mother lost control of the car and we veered off the the edge of the road. it was a free fall down the mountain and i lost consciousness after a few seconds but regained it moments before we hit the ground. we hit the ground and i felt something snap, saw black, and then woke up. all i remember after the dream was crying over how good it had felt to die and how badly i needed to feel it again.

[videos4faggie]

pink moss

i see a light pink sky

and its full of clouds

i want to take a drive

to somewhere high up

where i can lay in the fog

all day

and there will be nothing left

to say

we could make it our home

and we could bathe in moonlight

and never need to roam

we’d never have felt so right

i see it and i feel

i feel just like a raindrop

i’m falling and it’s real

and i’m not going to stop

[videos4faggie]

green gladiolus

i left home on a friday

and wouldn’t return

until a wednesday

life got so much darker

eleven days and no words

spoken into my ear

to reassure that i’m sane

and no arms

to prove that i’m real

i swear my scars are redder

and i’m nothing

i just long

for a day you’ll hold me

and make them fade

you were gone and

i was sleeping feet away

from monsters

on every side

and i was young again

i’m not unique

and i’m not even alone

but when i’m far

from my home

i lose control

i need solid identities

not to bind

but to bring me back down

to reality and safety

when i stray too far from home

i need them for

when you’re so far

it feels like my chest

and my stomach

are eating themselves

i am at peace

knowing what’s what

if i am yours

and

if you are mine

and i need you

so badly it hurts

because you’re an angel

heavensent from

a perfect place

and i’m so afraid to lose

the truest thing in life

the warmest light

to burn away

the shadows in my mind

perhaps in my insecurity

i stand truly alone

and perhaps in my desires

i’m overreaching

but as it is, i love you, and

i left home on a friday

and wouldn’t return

until a wednesday

life got so much darker

[videos4faggie]

[videos4faggie]