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Koroygi, the third pick in the 2009 MLH draft, and Vincent Lemaire, the third Rookie of the Year nominee in 2011, keep trying to make gay hockey history. The universe (and Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, specifically) keeps having other other plans.

A fic full of dumb jokes, a hopefully sweet love story, a moral about priorities that I’m still learning in my late twenties, and an answer the question nobody asked, but I’ve nonetheless chosen to obsess over: what if the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Heated Rivalry were boning?

(Chapter 2 forthcoming)

#heated rivalry fanfic #heated rivalry #vincent lemaire #koroygi #hollanov’s wario

Crowdsourcing the name for Florida’s Solid Pick universe hockey team

The Florida Swallows

The Florida Mangroves

The Florida Bonefish

The Florida Divers

The Florida Pythons

The Florida Woodpeckers

Remaining time: 23 hours 11 minutes

#heated rivalry fanfic #heated rivalry #we will never beat the the houston drillers thank you jacob tierney #but we can try

rozrozhollander

Shane laughed, which made Ilya’s heart race. What if he’d never heard Shane’s laugh again?

ticklefighthockey

the only piece of book canon I’ll accept is that ilya wore the hawaiian shirt as a bit and then got there and wanted to die of embarrassment because omfggggg why was he wearing a stupid fucking hawaiian shirt in front of his ex

rainbow-femme

When you’re just trying to be SILLY because deep down you are SAD and trying to be your old self full of WHIMSY but then your EX walks in looking HOT as FUCK and stylish as SHIT and now he wants to TALK to you and is maybe FLIRTING and you gotta LOCK IN to see if he’s newly single so you can FUCK later but he is BAD at SOCIAL CUES so you are trying SO HARD to be so COOL and CASUAL in your STUPID FUCKING HAWAIIAN SHIRT you bought at fucking WALMART that you wore as a BIT but he doesn’t KNOW that so you just look STUPID while he is sitting there being HOT and OK yes he IS single and now you gotta LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN and be super COOL and SEXY and NOT DESPERATE while calling him CAPTAIN and wearing your FUCKASS HAWAIIAN SHIRT

fujoshane

rachel reid i doubted your ability to write an overdose scene right next to an anal bead shopping scene but you've done it

castielchitaqua

actually. shane is always a couple steps closer to arson than most people realize

Look, I get it, it's a photoshoot. You can't use real ice cream because it melts, gets sticky, the crew has places to be, etc.

But I'm absolutely fried by Connor Storrie, likely future Oscar winner, and, more importantly, a man we have watched eat ice cream on main, decided to act out eating ice cream by chewing it.

Daniel Day-Lewis lived on the prairie for a year. This dude has eaten ice cream within the last few calendar months and could not access it.

#th connor i don't eat sugar storrie's ice cream order irl would probs be an empty container that's just an excuse for winking & smoldering #sunnypeachyy

greysweaterweather

Heated rivalry: episode 1 rookies

Ilya doesnt give a SHIT about those signs

Check out my panels for ep 6: the cottage here another ep 1 panel here and an ep 2 panel here

(if you love the snoopy x HR theme chuck me a follow and send me your favourite lines cause im doing 3 panels per ep over the next few weeks)

rainbow-femme

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.