VINNYVERSE

a millennial. on Tumblr. groundbreaking.

[vinnyverse]

Work sucked extra hard today

I felt unvalued for reasons. I took control of the day. Killed it. Was in my lane. Went home. Had pizza. Coconut Water. Sent out a couple applications to feel better. Wrote a tumblr post about it. Ah, millenialism.

[vinnyverse]

Going back to Tumblr 

I’m back after 9 years, and so much growth has happened. But is it really growth if I’m back here?

This all started fairly recently when I noticed that Instagram, the only social media app I use, has been regularly serving content that doesn’t actually serve me. I reduced my screen time on this app to an average of 2h a day, making that around 30 days of my year. That’s so fucking crazy to think about.

I stumbled upon appstinence.org and currently am on step 2: decrease.  

I thought it was’t realistic for me to have no online presence. Which makes this truly sound like an addiction. An addiction I need to accept. An addiction that connects to many other problems in my life. My bipolar disorder being one. Working in digital media another. But I think here, I’m thinking about expression. How this is a need, than a want. Hence, Tumblr. 

I’ve been ruminating a lot about truly coming of (real adult) age (I’m 32 right now lol) and how I’ve really become the person that I was “supposed to be”. And that’s not a person who’s on reels 2 hours a day. I want to create, express, and relate to people. I’ve found that I am the person I am today because of the people I surround myself with, in person and online. I simply cannot just let that go. 

It’s idealistic and sort of stupid to think that what I have to say express is something worth while. But if anyone is watching, or this gets to you and you get me, then I’m successful in my pursuit. If I stay on instagram, I’m working against myself, and only literally performing for everybody else. Every half-friend, and acquaintance from work or classmate from college I half-connect to feels like torture. Every single day. Fuck performative connection. I am not getting any younger. Fuck this need to express myself. But it must be done

[vinnyverse]

An Open Letter to the Person Who Openly Disses on Couples

We know you’re you’re out there. You just lurk around our annoying couple photos all year - whether it be a couples day out, a wedding, an anniversary, a new baby, you name it - you’re afraid you might tap on the photo twice too quickly when you’re just trying to see the username tagged in there. We all know you’re there. We just don’t acknowledge your existence.

You make yourself known on Valentine’s Day when you post all sorts of bullshit online on how

“I don’t need a man to make me happy” / “No woman no cry.”

“Being single means that you are confident enough to stand up on your own two feet.”

You are extremely annoyed of the crowded malls/parks/streets, and fully-booked ho/motels.

It’s an attack towards people who are in perfectly happy, healthy and sexually-satisfying relationships. While I’m totally cool with anyone who completely LOVES being single, its a totally different song when you express your feeling of sourness towards your love-life (or lack thereof) by taking it out on the general population with significant others.

You probably had two failures as past relationships, love going out drinking beer,  hooking up with someone and repeating the same pattern all over again in the next week, and it annoys you that people think you (should) care about Valentine’s Day. You go shopping for chocolates to give yourself and see all the things you could be buying for someone else someday; you claim to not feel anything.

Maybe you got your own thing, and is scared of having someone else in your life messing things up. Relationships are messy, I get it.

Or maybe you haven’t found the right one yet, and you’re simply frustrated.

You don’t have to explain why you’re single on Valentine’s Day because its the 21st fucking century - right around this time where you can find the next fuck buddy by swiping to a certain direction - you aren’t defined by who you are (or aren’t) dating.

Don’t go through life feeling like it’s not complete without a partner. If you’re #1, don’t feel bad about being a so-called “bad girl/boy that sleeps around a lot” because its your body, you decide what it deserves, anyone who judges you wrongly for that is a slut-shamer and THEY should be ashamed of their sorry sexless asses. For the #2s out there, if being single is they way to do it for you then go ahead, if not, then take the leap of faith. You’ll never know unless you take the plunge. Don’t be frustrated, #3. It will come when it comes. I mean shit, don’t expect. That’s why we end up having to scroll up and down our feeds with the hate.

There’s no such thing as single awareness day only because that’s almost every day of the whole year that’s not Valentine’s. Cut us some slack.

Sincerely,

Happily un-single

[vinnyverse]

Laid Off

The company I worked for closed and now I have (officially) nothing (else) to do. Its weird only because I really did want to get out of that shitty company I worked for, but I just didn't like the way I exited. They just beat me to it. I was supposed to fucking leave them. Not the other way around. But its good riddance all the same. 

Its been a tough few days of feeling worthless, waking up to nothing, economic and emotional stress with moments when I feel a tad guilty (I was part of Business Dev't) about it. When I begin thinking, I was only probably doing as well as the company - not good at all - and the time has run its course. The feelings came to me in a sudden epiphany, where all the self-doubt that had been hiding deep within the ventricles of my heart had swallowed me from soul out. I wanted to send my résumés in a kamikaze of applications, but I didn't think they were even worthy of any recruiter's inbox. 

"You thought you did a pretty decent job, but I guess pretty decent didn't make the cut."

- my head

There were instances where I open my Grab app and see that it remembers my usual route in the morning - the way to work. I didn't miss it, I wasn't sad, but I guess that's it...I felt nothing. Hollow. A blank space, like a chunk of my daily routine was removed and in its place, a benign mass of nil. 

And then here comes my friends, colleagues that check up on me and what's happening in my life. Awkwardness begins. I comfortably say, " I just lost my job.", like it didn't matter. Then they follow up with hard-hitters like "what are you doing now?" and innocent examples of "how's life?" - I on the other hand, would go home and start getting paranoid about what they're saying about me. 

I wake up (or don't sleep at all) because of the full-on reality of my unemployment. That now I'm no longer "contributing" to my country's economy and society. A failure. I'm pretty sure this'll go away, but I'd sooner find myself being reminded that my world has changed. 

[vinnyverse]

5 Things I Learned About Getting Sick Twice This Year

Every year, I get sick once, and only once, every last quarter of every year ever since I could remember.

So its weird that I get a systematic viral infection following my allergic reaction because I (accidentally) ate a Milky Way, a FEW WEEKS after getting a bad case of strep throat.

On my second day of being a bedridden piece of shit, I realize that I'm not just getting older, I'm 23 (for 2 months now), which means I'm 2 years shy of being 25 - not all notice this but when you're 25 you're not old like disgustingly boring, can't walk/can't talk old, but you aren't that 'young' either...you're at that stage when "you're not getting any younger". 

 1. You can't hide it no more. You know when you're sick, and like, want to be all awesome but show up for work anyway? No? Well okay, I was like that. When I was working for a big hotel in my city, I'd do 13-hour shifts at the front desk with no sweat (because inside I was being ravaged by a fever, so I literally cannot sweat). 

 2. Putting off work seems a bit...different. Being a junior manager at around 25 ain't bad, but it also means that you can't tell your boss that you're going on sick leave for a couple of days and actually expect that you ain't doing anything those couple of days at home. Fuck me, right? 

3. You begin watching your TV series, or reading books...actually getting your life back. I’m a self-proclaimed workaholic, and lately, no thanks to my situation I finally caught up with 2 of the TV series I haven’t seen in a year (?) and I’ve finally reached the half of A Song of Ice and Fire: A Game of Thrones.

4. You fall into an existential crisis and do loads of weird shit...like stalk your ex on Facebook. Literally anyone actually, let alone USE fucking Facebook at all because you have so much time in your hands but can’t really get up and do something about it except think and post status updates.

5. You end up stargazing, and it becomes your thing. I mean that when you get sick your eyes sort of mess with your head and you see stars. Now that’s entertainment. (This probably doesn’t apply to everyone, but it does for me)

[vinnyverse]

Losing Duke

If anyone could feel the same way for Duke as I, it would be my grandmother. She took him with her to the provinces, simply because she needed him at a time she couldn't handle. She called me a quarter past four in the morning that day, to announce Duke's death, and she spared no details. Duke just quivered uncontrollably that woke my grandmother up (she would sleep with him, sometimes), and with ears pointing upwards, he stopped. Pain surged into my head, welled in my chest and it was slowly becoming more and more difficult to breathe. As tears fell quickly onto my pillows, I thought how difficult it was to share this anguish with my grandmother, it must have been utterly heartbreaking to be where she is now and then, I couldn't even muster the strength to speak to her.It took me around three months to finish this article, and I was planning to put in all four years on to a microblog, but that was impossible. What we had with Duke, was indescribable. I'm still working on chronicling every single moment with him in my memory, because it would be a shame if all this were to remain in my head. Duke, my friend of four years and counting, died on the eighth day of January, 2015 at 4:50AM. For weeks, he couldn't eat, drink, and sleep properly because he suffered bronchitis. He was miles away from me at the time, which was one of the worst parts of this story because I wasn't there to comfort him when he was in unimaginable agony, I wasn't there to let him know that it was going to be alright very soon, and most importantly, I wasn't there to tell him that I love him and he didn't deserve that. The feeling of grief still lingers at the thought of his passing, but I'm happy nevertheless to have shared my few years with such an awesome friend, pet, roommate, and friend. My beloved Duke, he was to turn five years old yesterday, first of April. Happy birthday Duke! :)

Photos by me.

[vinnyverse]

5 Things I Learned from 5 Seconds of Pope Francis "Fading." (adj.) How I described my faith in my own religion. Seeing the Pope was no walk in the park: I stood with a thousand sweaty, loquacious people at the corner of Quirino and Roxas Avenues for two whole hours, to see the Holy Father simply pass by. And when he did, it was only five seconds. I was prepared to take as much pictures and angles as I can so I can collect and select. But I couldn't help but take in his presence and instantly I seemed a bit off-balance with all the thoughts spinning my head simultaneously. It was a good thing that I have mustered the ability to collate those thought in eight days, in a form of a list: 1. It was a complete shame to be inwardly whining about how musty and tiring it was waiting for the Pope when he was, in all likelihood, standing from sunrise and wearing different vestments on a day when Manila couldn't decide to be either sun-drenched or wet. I was on the brink of a cold at 22, what more for a 78-year old man. 2. His gentle smile that reaches his eyes signifies the means to always make something happy out of a shitty situation. A thought everyone should live by. 3. If only it were possible and safe, I have a hunch that the Pope would rather rub elbows with the country's poor, than ride in his Popemobile all day meeting with the corrupt. He cares for everyone equally, no matter how different we may be. 4. Our Pope is a charming Pope. I mean, look at him. Everything he does charms the hell out of people (pun intended). 5. He confessed that he isn't very good in English. I know for myself that isn't a big deal. But for some Filipinos, to see a white man admit being inarticulate in English equates to humility, and more Filipino than he actually is. One thing's for sure though, the languages he speaks fluently are those our ears and tongues cannot comprehend: inspiration and love. Viva il Papa, Papa Francesco! Photo by Hannah Sy

[vinnyverse]

A Millenial's Gruesome Review of 2014 and Bright Hopes for 2015

Cliche: Its that time of year again...and here I am switching blogs from wordpress to tumblr all over again. But who cares, right? (spoiler: this blog post contains no photos, so you probably want to get out now before I bore you to blindness) I'm writing at exactly 4:00PM, December 25, 2014 (GMT +08:00), and its so awesome to be currently listening to the 'Deep Focus' Spotify playlist. I feel so old, first off. I fucking hate how after 18, its like your life hurries up to end itself. I mean, it was like last week when I posted this on my Wordpress blog! Now I'm 22, and that's fucked up. Last year, I talked about being able to travel the Philippines more, because I'll be leaving this awesome country soon. But I only traveled once, and it was by myself to my grandmother's in the south. No shit, it was great, but I guess I could have been to more places if I had the time. Last year, I talked about losing inches off my belly...and I did. I'm now currently a 30-incher. Which is a good thing until I kept on keeping on (losing lbs weekly) which really scared me. Last year, I talked about less drama, which I achieved because I gave less fucks this year than the last! But no doubt, 2014 was another 12 months of root canals to the mind and heart. I went through some serious shit this year, which only is because of my lack of thinking it through, but I'm starting the year better. I know I'll probably fuck up in other aspects of my life in 2015 but I usually bounce back and learn from those fuck-ups...and learn from them. I'm bipolar, and I'm not saying that just because I have mood swings, I'm really suffering from it. But I'm good, and taking medication. I guess my point here is that its really difficult for someone who has this disorder to deal with...almost anything. So I'd have to say that I am very proud of myself...and everyone who was depressed, or suicidal, or on the brink of meltdown this year. If you're alive and happy, or at least OKAY, this Christmas Day and probably will be on New Year's that's awesome. High freakin' five. That aside, I hereby say that for 2015 I will not dictate any silly (and most of the time not well thought out) resolutions. Let's take the steps to maturity, ladies and gents. Follow the right rules. Keep on holding to whatever you're holding on to, because you have no right to be depressed by a situation. You're mind is the universe. It is endless. You've never seen 10% of the world you have the chance to experience. So self-destruction could wait after that. ;) Who's with me?

[vinnyverse]

TEGAN AND SARA WENT TO THE PHILIPPINES AND I WASN’T THERE.

Heartbroken, I was. But following Tegan and Sara on Instagram was a nice (not really) consolation prize:

MusicVerse this week deals on the gay twin sisters from Calgary that were writing songs from age 15.

I went on a trip to Cebu that date, and so the whole time, I was playing their songs. Especially my favorites:

[vinnyverse]

1. Hobbit 2 comes in FOUR days. Fellow geeks, rejoice. 2. Vampire Weekend is SPIN.com's Band of the Year, plus their song tops Billboard 200! 3. Foie Gras as a "silog" FOIE-SI-LOG 4. Pussy Riot makes Oscars. =)

[vinnyverse]

My Favorite Fast and the Furious Movie

I remember as a teenager that the coolest thing to be was to drive one of the Fast and The Furious cars (ehem, Nissan Skyline GT-R)...the way the movie characters drove them.

I can't expound on this no longer. Sorry man, this is the best that I can do to honor you. You will be missed by all of the boys who wanted to be you and the girls that wanted to be with you.

RIP Paul Walker.

[vinnyverse]

JOURNEY PART 1

From the vimeo page:

This timelapse video is a collection of footage shot over the last year and a half around the western half of the United States. The shots ranged from very different locations. From Montana to Arizona and most weren't easy to get to but of course that makes them worth going to. The locations captured ranged in temps of 100 degrees to -9 degrees and in elevations of 12,000 feet to 225 feet below sea level. It took over 15,000 captured still images to make this video.

I would like to thank the companies that provided motion control equipment. dynamicperception.com/ kesslercrane.com/

The TB3 eMotimo that I used along with the Dynamic Perception Stage Zero was a huge help in getting some of these shots. emotimo.com/

Music: "Journey to the Line" Artist: Hans Zimmer itunes.apple.com/us/album/journey-to-the-line/id212408475?i=212408687

Twitter: Drew599

There will be a follow up video to this one that will cover the urban aspect.

[vinnyverse]

Every Cigarette You Don't Smoke Is Doing You Good.

[vinnyverse]

This is Mayela Feldstein.

See her story here:

http://narrative.ly/the-nonagenarians/mayela-the-brave/

[vinnyverse]

What Your Barista Thinks of You

[vinnyverse]

Chihuahua Mexican Grill & Margarita Bar

Welcome to the first "The End-of-the-Month Eating Club" post!

These posts, as the title suggests, will show up on the blog every end of the month, to give me time to collect friends, think of a restaurant to eat in and to enough Instagram photos.

This November, I decided to find officemates to join me in enjoying one of my most favorite kind of food in the world: MEXICAN FOOD. Growing up in California, is basically seeing the most state of the country become an extension of almost every nation in the world. But its closest neighbor is the awesomely savory, spicy, and explode-in-your-mouth delicioso-ness that is Mexico! So I tried Chihuahiua Mexican Grill & Margarita Bar in their Greenbelt 2 branch.

(photo taken from Chihuahua's Facebook Page)

No frills, no plush chairs and expensive marble tables to be seen, Chihuahua is everything a Mexican joint in LA could be. Its home to Manila's #1 burrito. When we got in and took a bite, it lived up to its name.

Some photos aren't mine, something I couldn't do that much since I was focusing on closing my eyes to feel every munch and chew. Margaritas were chilled to perfection, thinking this joint should be in Boracay too (just a simple yet assertive suggestion!). 

Steak Burrito

Steak Burrito BOWL

Chicken Salad

I would say (not an excuse, really) that I would start enjoying food when I take poor pictures. Especially the Margarita, that gulped the half of my glass as a first sip! I promise to take better photos (or let someone do it while I stuff my face with awesomeness) in next month's post! 

Food: awesome. Ambience: great. Hot sauce library: awesome. Margarita: awesome as the skies in Cabo. WiFi: Super fast. People: really fun to be with in the restaurant. No stuck-up shit required. 

Overall: 4.7/5

Us under the colored lights: 1/5

'Til December's End-of-the-Month Eating Club meeting!

Vinny

[vinnyverse]

Alicia Keys in this week's The Girl of the Week

As everybody pretty much knows already, Typhoon Haiyan, a category 5 typhoon hit the PH this month. How does this Girl of the Week fit into this, well:

Just when you thought it was all about the red carpet and the latest pieces in fashion, Alicia Keys just had to come to Villamor Air Base to help out. She made me feel so helpless, when I'm already in Manila. 

I have always loved Alicia Keys and her music. She isn't like most of them (ehem, Miley). 

Thankful for her and all of the people who sacrificed sleep, work, and leisure for helping out people they do not know, or usually care about! 

Kudos, Alicia.

To help out the littlest way you can: RED<space>AMOUNT to 2899 (Globe) or 4143 (Smart).