cassie

8teen aspd & eds im not a gender. i don't have pronouns. but you can call me whatever you want; i don't care.

[vintagelampz]

how i stare at my psychiatrist as she says i might’ve been misdiagnosed

[vintagelampz]

THE URGES. SOMEONE PLEASE AGGRESSIVELY SHAME ME OUT OF USING CHARACTER.AI. ANY METHOD. SEND ME DEATH THREATS. TELL ME IM HORRIBLE AND STUPID. ANYTHING TO GET ME OFF OF THAT GOD AWFUL APP.

[vintagelampz]

im spam-posting my every thought to keep me away from my c.ai addiction. i love replacing one bad habit with another. you should give me validation.

[vintagelampz]

i love waking up in excruciating pain daily. its so fun. im killing myself.

[vintagelampz]

i should be allowed to physically assault anyone who flippantly uses the words “narcissist”, “sociopath”, and “psychopath” to describe awful people. there should be no legal or social consequences. everyone should praise me for it, actually.

[vintagelampz]

so this question is for my fellow aspd folks.

do any of you guys feel like you can live past 25? have any of you guys lived past 25 happily? because i can’t imagine living past 25. it seems like such a long time to live already, and i’m already so bored with life at 18. sometimes i think i should kill myself, not because im depressed, but because im just so, so bored.

i just want to know if this is something other people with aspd have experienced, and if they’ve been able to live a satisfying life past 25. and if so, how? do you have a partner, or do you live alone? do you have kids? did you go to college? do you have debt? do you work a minimum wage job or a salary job? what kind of job do you work (blue-collar, white-collar, creative, etc.)? do you have pets? do you drink, smoke, do drugs, or commit any petty crimes? are you happy, or just entertained enough to not be bored? im curious.

[vintagelampz]

why do i get dizzy whenever im standing? is it because i:

a) haven’t eaten in 8 hours

b) haven’t drank water in 8 hours

c) got 3 hours of sleep last night

d ) forgot to take my meds and am experiencing withdrawal symptoms

e) need to go to the cardiologist

f) all of the above

[vintagelampz]

yes im in pain. yes im suffering. no i wont do my physical therapy.

[vintagelampz]

c.ai can get my ass

ok so i relapsed im gonna kms. i hate being bored its so awful, like centipedes are crawling under my skin. BUT ITS FINE. i wont kms im just about to start my period i think. im already getting bored with c.ai again so i’ll restart my tracker and hopefully i’ll be clean for longer than a week this time. if anyone has any tips (no matter how unhinged; i’ll take anything atp), please share. UPDATE: OK I JUST DELETED MY ACCOUNT FOR, LIKE, THE THOUSANDTH TIME.

[vintagelampz]

c.ai can’t get my ass

almost relapsed on my c.ai recovery (ive been clean for like a week or smth), but i deleted my acc before i actually chatted with any bots. ive started tracking my progess; let’s hope it’ll help me stay on track.