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YOU ARE THE REASON
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even on tumblr i’m the quiet kid that sits in the corner and doesn’t really know anyone
:))
The Ketogenic Cleanse - Day 22
So as things are winding down here are some thoughts about this book:
-the shopping list doesn’t always include everything you need, especially if it includes a spice mix you were already supposed to have pre-made. But like it’s not just that, we’re talking they forgot to include an entire pound of flank steak.
- also the portions don’t add up, or they don’t tell you to double or half a recipie everywhere it’s needed. Ex: the rosti from day 1 is 4 portions but you don’t eat it again till day 22. Or 6 portions of chicken wings when you’re only eating it once. I hate wasting food.
-also side note: no matter what I do I miss sugar and is it just me or does erythritol make you feel light-headed?
The Ketogenic Cleanse -Day 16
I’m still here. Rundown of the last two weeks:
You guys haven’t really missed much. I find it difficult to eat any of the meals in one sitting without feeling uncomfortably full so it’s nice at work when I can pick at it throughout the day. After dinner and on weekends when I have meals with my boyfriend I’m so full I just kinda nap for the rest of the day. Not very productive. I still haven’t been back to the gym yet. But I have lost 15lbs which is craaaaazy. Meal prep is getting a lot easier. We kind of devote Sunday afternoons to cooking as much in advance as we can and as a result we only spend about 30-60mins per night on cooking for the next day.
Goals for the next two weeks:
Exercise!!!!! I wish I had more energy. I need to be doing something other than lying in bed. Also gonna look up how to start adding dairy back into my diet for when this is all over (yay cheese).
Pictured here is tonight’s dinner. 3 jumbo shrimp with molho verde, and a panzanella salad with pancetta (croutons). So. Much. Food!
The Ketogenic Cleanse -day 1
So it’s the end of the day and all I can think about is those Viking slices from the Danish Pastry Houses in our area. But I stuck to the plan and didn’t eat a single thing more.
The food was good so far, no major cooking fails yet although we did scrap the lemon sauce for the wings cause it was just gross lemon oil 🍋 and my rosti for day 1 breakfast (which I ate at noon) was definitely more of a scramble than anything else because apparently I have a different definition of what shredded means in this cookbook.
We only spent 2h cooking tonight. And my giant slab of a burger took me 3 hours to eat. Tomorrow is soup for breakfast so I am excited to try it :)
30 Day Ketogenic Cleanse- the night before
So I went through week 1’s grocery list and quickly made some substitutions since my boyfriend will not eat mushrooms and I don’t like bone-in anything.
We’ve spent the last 4 hours cooking and we have all of day one and some of day 2 prepped plus leftovers. Preparation will be key.
30 Day Ketogenic Cleanse- what am I doing?
So my boyfriend and I recently visited friends who eat Keto and have been for over a year now. They both look and feel great and we had no problems adopting their diet while we were there.
So we’re trying it for ourselves, starting with the 30 Day Ketogenic Cleanse by Maria Emmerich. My friend showed me some of her other cookbooks and this seemed like the crash course intro I wanted.
For the first 30 days we will not have any dairy in our diet although I can’t wait to incorporate cheese back into it.
The goal is to stick to the menu provided for 30 days and then see how things go. If anyone has any tips I’d be glad to have them sent my way.
Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!
Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT
this is true love y’all (x) | follow @the-movemnt
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pls let this be the start of a trend
retweet this and your dream job will come into your life
ok y'all this is crazy i reblogged this today and i just got offered a job. what the fuck
Worked last year. Give it a whirl, kids.
honey, some day, we’ll be together
Maybe all the twentysomethings are obsessed with cartoons because all the “adult” shows show the same traumas, frustrations, and anxieties we already have to deal with 24/7.
Sometimes you just wanna watch a princess of power or a magical alien child do fancy magic stuff in a lower-stakes world where you can be reasonably sure you won’t be subjected to depictions of extreme violence, gore, assault, and sex without warning, ya dig?
It’s true and you should say it
so much adult media likes to pretend hopelessness and pessimism and cynicism are something profound instead of the same depressing nonsense that you can find self-righteous assholes spouting on any given corner of the internet
society acts like we’re supposed to outgrow hope somewhere between sixteen and twenty-two and it’s absolute bullshit
being an adult isn’t about giving up
hold on, let me repeat that
just in case y'all didn’t hear me in the back
being an adult isn’t about giving up
side note: during the 2016 election, i realized i had only watched Cartoon Network / DisneyXD / etc or Netflix and did not see a single fucking political or pharma ad
I used to love dystopian fiction, but living in a dystopia has made me want to watch escapist bullshit that makes me laugh and helps me forget that the world is on fire and the bad guys are winning.
Sorry for the length! I had a lot to get off my chest.
BACK STORY: When I was 12, my mom got married to a halfway decent guy. He’s not bad, but he’s not great either, but he made my mom happy and that’s all that I cared about. In fact, I cared so much about her happiness that I was willing to endure 6 years of living under the same roof as his self-obsessed, obnoxious, spoiled daughter, Amy. The entire time we lived together, she would project all of her insecurities onto me in the form of insults. Being young and wildly insecure about myself, these daily insults well and truly cut me to the core and just continued the cycle of crippling insecurity.
When I started “talking to” a boy for the first time, Kyle, she all of a sudden developed an intense infatuation with him and told me I was forbidden from communicating with him from then on. I was insecure but I was not a pushover. When I didn’t listen to her demands, she took it a step further and told Kyle I had ongoing relationships with several other boys (untrue), which he unfortunately believed. I was completely crushed. She then swooped in and took every opportunity to rub it in my face that she “won” him (i.e. inviting him to my birthday parties at home, inviting me out with her only to later reveal I would be thirdwheeling on their date, making him compliment me and then gloating about how she had such a nice boyfriend, etc). This sort of thing happened countless times, not with just boys but with friends and even workplaces! They ended up dating for two years and, although they had a nasty breakup, Kyle and I remained on good terms, which drove her up the wall. She would constantly ask me, “So did you guys hook up behind my back yet?” while claiming to have moved on already.
When we finally graduated high school (we were in the same year), I could not be happier to move out and go to college. While I was finally living the life I wanted without her toxicity, she went to 2 different unaccredited schools, both of which she dropped out of after 1 semester at each. Eventually, she moved back in with our parents in our hometown and fell into her old ways again (assuming she had ever grown out of them). On the eve of her 19th birthday, she posted to FB about how her friends had gifted her a fake ID and raved about their plans to club hop for her birthday.
Even though I lived 500mi away, she still had to find some way to rub it in my face that I would be missing out on all the fun. I was invited to her birthday event page on FB, where she detailed all the extravagant and expensive things she planned for her special day. We’re talking limo rental, VIP rooms at 2 of the biggest clubs in town, and even some photographer guy who would follow them like paparazzi. She made a public post on the event page where she tagged me and said, “It’s going to be amazing! Too bad you’ll miss out! HAHA. You’ll have to wait 2 years before you can experience any of this.”
It had been about a year since I had last seen or spoken to her. By this point, I was at a much happier place with myself, emotionally. It took me a while to shake off the effects of her emotional abuse, but by god, I did it and I wasn’t going to let her drag me back to those lows again. But this post got me to reminisce about all the things that she had done to me in the past and I couldn’t help but feel a boiling rage inside.
Now, unbeknownst to her, Kyle had recently reconnected with me on FB. It only friendly conversation between us, catching up on each other’s lives, until he suggested we meet up and have lunch (he went to another college an hour away). Lunch turned into us having an afternoon-long shit-talking-fest about Amy. He confessed that she was emotionally abusive to him during their relationship and the only time they didn’t fight was when I was in their company (which is why he didn’t mind me thirdwheeling on all those dates, apparently). During this, he also confessed he had feelings for me but couldn’t forgive himself for letting Amy dangle him in front of me, because he knew that I had liked him. This guilt was apparently something he had been carrying for years and finally found the courage to apologize for now.
REVENGE: Here’s where we get petty. I convinced Kyle to alert his brother, who happened to be the marketing director for one of the clubs Amy had reserved a VIP room at, of these upcoming birthday plans. After he did that, I went home and called the limousine rental company and pretended to be a concerned parent and insisted no alcohol be available since several of the girls were underage. They let me know that they were very appreciative of the notice. And then, I did a little digging and found out who the “paparazzi” guy would be and called him to cancel his services for the event. With her birthday coming up in just a couple of days, I sat back and waited to let the chips fall where they may… and it was better than I could have hoped for. When I asked about it a few days afterwards, she was sure to screech every beautiful detail to me over the phone.
Since the limo did not provide them with alcohol, they stopped by a friend’s house to “pre-game” and sneak in their own supply. Once the driver noticed the gaggle of very drunk girls in his limo, he stopped and made them throw away all of the liquor they snuck in. When they got to the first club, Kyle’s brother, who knew Amy as Kyle’s ex, confronted them at the door and told them there was no way in hell they were getting in. This was VERY upsetting to these group of drunk girls and they all proceeded to make a huge drunken scene, going so far as showing him Amy’s fake ID to “prove” they were allowed in…except the name on the ID wasn’t hers. Kyle’s brother, or “Assfucker” as Amy called him, had security forcibly remove them from the premises. As the cherry on top, he contacted his friends at the other clubs in town and warned them of Amy and her underage entourage, successfully banning her from every single dance club/bar in a 20mi radius. She didn’t even get a refund on the deposits for the VIP rooms. She’s lucky she wasn’t arrested, but she still plays victim to “horrible bad luck.”
TL;DR: Evil stepsister torments me in our teen years so I ruin her last teenage birthday by getting her banned from every club in town and making her waste thousands of dollars. Also, I fucked Kyle.
YES OH MY GOD
Op: Here’s where we got petty
Me: