Space Is Gr8

Will/Cryptid Catcher /// 23/The south is hell and all of the devils are here/ Hugo Winning Author

[scholarlyserpent]

[lasagoofs]

x

[narrenstrich]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[tossawary]

It's so funny that Palpatine is also a skilled lightsaber duelist and fighter, enough to take on 4 Jedi masters / war veterans at once and easily kill 3 of them (everyone except Mace Windu almost immediately gets wasted), and then to go on to beat Yoda too later. Like, it's funny to think about the logistics of it all. Who exactly has Palpatine been practicing with here? How often has he been hitting the gym in the past 15 or so years?

Up until that point in "Revenge of the Sith", it looks like Palpatine's main skill is manipulation. He doesn't really look like he's sunk a lot of points into melee combat. Supposedly, he trained Darth Maul, but Maul got wrecked by Obi-Wan Kenobi as a padawan and has been "dead" for over a decade by the time Palpatine is confronted by the Jedi and suddenly opens a can of whoop ass. Dooku is a skilled duelist, sure, but Dooku has been running the other side of the war, so he's not sneaking into Coruscant on a regular basis to be Palpatine's evil gym buddy.

Also, when is Palpatine finding the TIME to train that fiercely? He has a desk job! He has TWO desk jobs! He's the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and also secretly running both sides of the war, all to slowly build up his Galactic Empire. His schedule must be packed. His time management skills are the real legendary dark powers here. He has to regularly be going straight from meetings with Republic Senators and the Jedi Council into video calls with General Grievous and the Trade Federation. Where on his calendar is this man putting his evil workouts where he waves around a red lightsaber?

I really don't like the idea that Palpatine is just so formidable in the Force that he doesn't ever have to worry about spaceships falling from orbit or keeping in shape. He's definitely not a normal guy, but he is also just a guy, given that Darth Vader eventually throws him off a Death Star bridge to kill him (temporarily, if we're going by the sequel trilogy, which I... don't). I understand that at this point in time, Palpatine is possibly super-boosted by the Dark Side thanks to the sheer weight of misery he's inflicted on the galaxy thanks to the war, so he's feeling GREAT, strong and fast and ready to rumble, but I don't think pure power in the Force alone should necessarily translate to staying flexible despite your desk job and having refined sword skills?

So, I guess I have to assume that Palpatine has a collection of personal dueling droids somewhere that regularly get wrecked by a lightsaber or something? Is there a gym maintenance droid somewhere rebuilding these other droids and chugging happily along learning every week (it gets its memory wiped on a daily basis) that the Supreme Chancellor secretly likes to play with lightsabers like a Jedi LARPer? Not an uncommon hobby! There are fan conventions for that!

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

“I wish I was more powerful, like you guys. Even casting fireball takes it right out of me some days.”

“Hey, none of that. You're a valued member of the team, no matter what your power level.”

“I just don't understand how you can tear open that portal to the fire dimension so easily.”

“… fire dimension?”

“Yeah. Where the fire lives. Before you summon it. For fireballs.”

“Dude. We've been creating explosions by igniting flammable gases in the air. What the fuck have you been doing?”

[nisiolemon]

This post and The Vitamin™ are sisters

[yesornopolls]

Were you allowed to leave the house on your own before 16?

Were you allowed to leave the house on your own before 16?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 26

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal

[wowwforever]

i used to make fun of this van gogh painting

because it looked so goofy.

but i then had the opportunity to see it in person and hear about Van Gogh and the Roulin family and honestly? this painting fucking rules.

i mean it may not look like a realistic baby, it's not a photograph. but this is probably the most accurate depiction of a confused ass baby looking at a weird family friend i ever did see

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Had a sort-of nightmare last night about being in a shitty YA novel universe but I couldn't get scared because I kept halting the plot to criticise the worldbuilding.

[fallenangelvictorious]

Reminds me of a nightmare I had recently where I thought ‘at least the cinematography is good, I wonder who the director is?’ and then the credits suddenly rolled and it was just my name in all the roles. I laughed so hard I woke my self up laughing

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[space-is-out-there]

Got prescribed the world’s largest bottle of ibuprofen today for my back pain

[eradacted]

It may not be that deep, but I have a shovel and I will make it as deep as I want.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

High key what House of Leaves is meta about

[eradacted]

I know not what House of Leaves is but I wholeheartedly trust your comparison and I shall take it as fact!

[asteroidtroglodyte]

House of Leaves is a book about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves substantially more difficult than should be possible, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.

Except that House of Leaves is actually about a documentary about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves impossible to document properly, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.

Except that House of Leaves is actually about an academic paper, which itself is about an alleged documentary about an alleged non-Euclidean home, but none of this can be verified.

Except that House of Leaves is just, like, this fucking stack of papers I found in this old dead guy’s apartment, and, like, I don’t even know if its his or what because like both his eyes were gone and he didn’t have any degrees or anything. I tried asking my friend from the tattoo shop about it but she was fixing up this thumper tattoo right above a girl’s pussy the whole time we were talking; like Thumper from Bambi, and I’m not gonna lie man I was pretty distracted and I just couldn’t [XXXXS XXXX XXXX. XXXX XXXX XXX X XXX XX XXXXXXX XXXXXX XX XXXX XX XXXXXX XXXX XXX]^*

———

* Editor’s Note: House of Leaves is a metatextual examination of the ability for a minor inconsistency in measurement, which might have been ignored by a normal person, to cause an all-consuming obsession spiral in the sort of person who is academically trained, obsessed with documentation, or overtly pedantic, and-

“Johnny, please, I’m your Mother; I know I have a lot to apologize for but I can’t, not unless you return my letters; are you even getting my letters? I send one every week you know, but I think that nurse keeps them from you, keeps you from getting my letters, because I know, I know my sweet Johnny would never leave his poor old mother rotting away by herself in this horrible drafty ward if he was getting his mother’s letters, would you, sweet boy? I know she’s stealing my letters from you, she’s always touching my things, even though they haven’t moved I know she’s touching them I know she keeps you from me I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [there’s a limit to what you can know. Some folks bump up against that limit and bounce right off and keep swimming, and some folks, well. Some folks SPLAT]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [they just gotta keep digging away at it. Even when it’s not that deep, they just… grab a shovel and keep digging. Lord knows what motivates them. A kind of Madness I suppose. Some folks find GOD in that madness. Not much of a believer myself]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know

I know

I know

I know

I know

I know you’ll visit me for Mother’s Day, won’t you?

🧿

*Editor’s Note: he did not

[chaser]

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

[chaser]

First like and this has already found its intended audience

[chaser]

uh oh

[itsmyturnonthegender]

[iavenjqasdf-deactivated20240911]

[space-is-out-there]

My grandma had a doctor at her house checking on her blood pressure and he asked me “You go to school around here kiddo?” (Thought he was referring to the university the town over) and I explained I’m teaching middle schoolers about an hour away he got all apologetic and said he thought I was 14-16.

Guys I’m turning 24 this year.

[dashcon]

How big is the ball pit area going to be?

I don’t know the exact dimensions right now, okay

[mayflame15]

[yo-its-matt]

world heritage post

[that-one-fat-guy-over-there]

Reading this post is like walking into a civil war reenactment only to realize you accidentally time travelled to the real civil War

[suriandtaal]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[tlirsgender]

I just think dating is a scam like 90% of the time. Joker voice And I'm tired of pretending it's not

[tlirsgender]

I can buy the concept of romance existing but the social song and dance of Dating specifically is so, like. Ok. So we're all just expected to walk around performing desirability & having coffee with people you find mildly interesting & Hopefully you will Feel Something for one of them. & if you keep it up long enough you can get legally bound and financially dependent on each other and have kids or something, not because you want them but because you're so fucking normal. This is supposed to be your #1 priority in life btw. Are you insane?

[tlirsgender]

And people will be like "you'll never be happy if you don't successfully have coffee with someone you think is mildly interesting, it's so sad that you're not having coffee with someone you think is mildly interesting" & I'm sitting here like I don't think that's true actually I think I'm doing pretty good. I have other things fulfilling my admittedly lower than average need for human connection, like friends

[tlirsgender]

Hey gang. Update on this one

The aromantic allegations can't catch me because it turns out I'm just a lesbian, actually

Going on cute little dates is fun when you're attracted to them. Surprisingly. I have a little girlfriend now and I like her

However I stand by my belief that the way normal people (neurotypicals, straight people, etc) are doing it IS, in classic normal people fashion, a form of psychological warfare