an occult relation between man and the vegetable

22 ~ INFJ ~

[valtsv]

me waiting in the grounds of my vampire wife’s castle estate for her to let me back inside after she banished me during an argument

[inkskinned]

me: hmm it is a nice day. as i am filled with hubris, i will go outside and sit :)

every bug in the universe at once: crawl?????? for to crawl???????

[jumpingjacktrash]

me who likes bugs a lot: darlings it’s ok to crawl but be careful of get squish

bugs who are very smart: between page of book, i will Homestead

me: i turn page now

bugs: o my folly!

[valtsv]

i have the complexion of a sickly victorian child, the disposable income of a 10th century serf, and the fashion sense and eccentric personality of a professor of the arts in the 1920s who does a lot of cocaine

[hardtimesnews]

[thexfiles]

as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”

[thexfiles]

i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets

[boopednose]

“I have a degree from yale”

“Psh did your MOM buy it for you?”

[littlewritingrabbit]

I don’t dress fancy to impress boys, I dress fancy to impress the ghost of Oscar Wilde.

[the-transfeminine-mystique]

throwback to my ladies 500 years ago who knew how to fuckin party

[rolanslide]

[arandomthot]

[myfriendscallmekazzy]

Why do Spotify friends exist? So they can see my ABHORRENT taste in music at 2am on a Tuesday? So they know I have played Party In The USA on a loop for three weeks? So they know all my faults and weaknesses? Why is this a feature.

[bestofironictiktok]

[takeman2016]

Holy shit can you imagine looking out your window to see this over across the road.

[vzmp3-deactivated20210522]

Oh my god I forgot I was in Wales and I was trying to read signs thinking I was having a fucking stroke

[vzmp3-deactivated20210522]

What the fuck

[theweirdwideweb]

[filmgifs]

It Happened One Night (1934) dir. Frank Capra

[meruis]

me: *receives text* me: i should reply to that me:

[feedsfairy]

JANELLE MONAE / Make Me Feel

(61st Grammys / 2019)

[smute]

god how do people just function?!? its like i can either take care of my schoolwork OR keep my apartment clean OR look after my mental health OR have a social life… but never two or more at a time. no matter which aspect of my life is going well at a given moment, theres always 3 dumpster fires blazing away in the background. i feel like im playing adult whack-a-mole

[incel-moved-deactivated20210803]