[paladitos]

it could be worse. i could be a sophomore in high school

[paladitos]

if youre a sophomore in high school just know that youre literally at rock bottom right now i promise it gets better from there

[excitementshewrote]

[hellenhighwater]

I'll admit that this one has cemented itself in my psyche

[plaguedocboi]

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

[theboboshow]

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

[plaguedocboi]

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

[shakertwelve]

why are drugs even illegal anymore. who cares

[menoftiktok]

[yourclashatdemonhead]

[sexchangedotcom]

people wanting men to wear crop tops and then being grossed out at happy trails. you fool thats the point of men wearing crop tops

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

[crazy-brazilian]

[otakasensei]

Fungi are truly the nearst thing to immortality we have on this planet

[bonyassfish]

Cocaine Bear is so fucking funny because it’s one of those movies where everyone is in a different genre. Some of them are in a crime movie, some are in a heartwarming drama about friendship, fatherhood, and grief, some are in a romantic comedy, some of them are in an action movie about a badass milf saving her kid. But none of them realize they are actually in the bear’s movie. And the bear’s movie is about. Cocaine. And doing cocaine. And killing people. But mostly cocaine.

[caesarsaladinn]

albatrosses will wipe the floor with any species of bird you choose to compare them to. they’re the Most, or at least Extremely, by almost every metric

[caesarsaladinn]

wingspan. lifespan. intricacy of mating dances. devotion to monogamy. investment in offspring. ability to circumnavigate the globe. literary symbolism that is flexible but not to the point of meaninglessness. eyeliner quality. I could go on

[aplpaca]

muppetness of said offspring

[feeshies]

you know when you see those gross cooking videos where a lady is dumping baked beans onto a countertop and mixing in cheese with her bare hands or something, and it's obviously meant to spark engagement and outrage. and people will always say "don't interact with these video; this is just fetish content"

i think a good way to have piece of mind online is to apply that same mindset to more things.

you saw a really bad take online? that person just has a degradation kink and they're waiting for someone to call them out. if you don't want to participate in their kink, leave them alone.

some people can only get off by being wrong. it doesn't have to affect your day.

[biiigwinged]

Been saying this for years. Anytime you see something begging you to respond to it, ask why.

Beyond the human reasons of someone wanting a fight or some other kind of emotional satisfaction, it's usually because the more interactions a piece of content has, the more advertising dollars it makes, or the more traffic is driven to that account's other posts.

"Bet you can't name an American state that has a Z in it!" -- everyone rushes to answer "Arizona" and suddenly a completely inane Facebook account has ten thousand comments (and the account holder can then sell this high-traffic page to someone else to be rebranded).

Any of those allegedly cute animal videos where it's clear someone has put an animal in a distressing situation just to show themselves helping it -- yeah, it's exploitative, and the way the exploitation happens is by enticing you to comment and denounce the content.

A video on TikTok with a caption like "you'll be amazed at what these zebras are eating" -- I was about to click and say "dude, those are hyenas, not zebras" and then realized that's exactly why they put that error there.

Especially with the outrage driven posts, it relies on your need to Not Walk On By when you see something wrong. Remember that if it's internet content you are literally doing no good by interacting with it and in many cases you are becoming the instrument of exploitation or harm.

Take the apps off your phone and touch some grass, and recalibrate your brain's idea of what is a normal amount of distress and pain and stupidity and grossness to be exposed to.

[elfwreck]

This falls under "don't feed the trolls."

Sometimes the trolls are not people declaring fandom hot takes and angry controversy. Sometimes they're just telling you how smooth the sharks are.

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Here's a little peek behind the curtain on those disgusting food videos where a white woman is standing in a very expensive looking kitchen making the most unhinged meal known to man. It's 100% on purpose and frequently directed by former magician and public spectacle enthusiast Rick Lax. He's like a modern day PT Barnum in this way.

Your Least Favorite Gross Viral Food Videos Are All Connected to This Guy

Whether it’s Spaghetti-Os pie or table-top nachos, everything can be traced back to (literal) magician Rick Lax

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You know those mobile ads showing a shitty game where the person playing it is just fucking up an easy puzzle really, really badly? One that you would solve immediately if you had the game, and boy do you want to go and do it PROPERLY? These controversy farmers are banking on the same urge. Just imagine they're all trying to pull you into a shitty mobile game.

[sic-semper-hominibus]

basically, modern advertising works like this:

[q8p]

All this talk about gays not being able to drive is blatant erasure of those of us who were brave enough to weather the trials of the DMV (Forbes’ selection for Straightest Place on Earth eleven years in a row) so that we could return triumphant, finally able to drive each other to the 24 hr grocery store at 2 am, the gayest hour, to buy cheap vodka and takis

Stand up for your rights, auto homos! Don’t let them forget your sacrifices

[eva-420]

erasure of country gays that were forced to drive because of a homophobic lack of public transport 

[chillgamesh-the-swing]

[ben-yatta]

i keep seeing the gif set so here’s the video clip

[ytp-clips]

[source]

[rhythmic-idealist]

LeFou: Oop! Gaston: Everyone knows her father’s a lunatic. He was in here tonight, raving— [EDM plays] Gaston: Whoo! Slow down, Maurice. Maurice: [exclaims]

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

What gets me is they throw the glowsticks out with him.

[rocktheholygrail]

[heathyr]

[beanmom]

[cithaerons]

i don’t think sex on tv is appropriate unless you see the cock otherwise it’s manipulating the viewer and basically gaslighting the audience

[tiltctrl]

What about violence in movies?

[cithaerons]

glad you asked. they also have to show cock.

[ruhlare]

okay but saying “i wish i had known you sooner” — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.

[ruhlare]

[rederiswrites]

Don't know how many times I've showed a non-Tumblr person a Tumblr post and had the whole thing derail because the poor soul actually read someone's user name.

[rederiswrites]

"Why does it say--" *squints at the screen* "....aziraphale's flaming cock??"

"Oh no uh, ignore that."

[aziraphales-flaming-cock]