This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?
And it's gonna getcha
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Kiana Khansmith
d e v o n

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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EXPECTATIONS

Discoholic 🪩

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@viscen-vas-arlesburgh
This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?
And it's gonna getcha
need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now
I do think it’s funny when headcanons are presented as objective character facts bc I get “He would not fucking say/do that” as much as the next guy but I must also humbly acknowledge its powerful cousin named “A skilled enough writer could make me believe he would”
I posit a third category: “I’m tentatively open to believing he would do that but I’ve taken a chance on 3-10 fics and noped out every time”.
Subtypes/conclusions:
- turns out he would not do that
- the people who firmly believe he would do that are not sufficiently skilled
and
- I’m going to have to write it myself
source
GAMING NEWS !!
expensive
posts funnier with timestamps on
smartest cat ever!
Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.
The mirror replied "To whom?"
"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".
The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.
The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.
The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.
The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.
The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.
The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.
The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity
"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.
"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.
"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.
The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.
It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.
Normally I just ignore yaoi from fandoms I'm not in but when Spirk crosses my dash I always take a moment to appreciate it out of respect for our founding fujoshis
Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.
InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation
They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.
Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.
He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.
the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.
they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
mutuals, you can pick me up to put me in your inventory
women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open
Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.
The Honest Hearts DLC for Fallout New Vagas has:
A noble savage problem
Only place in the game you can buy coffee
The coffee is sold by a Mormon for some reason
I figured that finding infinite gun glitches are just what Mormons do when they’re not trying to baptize dead people or something
If I was a plant I could photosynthesize and I'd say "I had a light breakfast ☀️"
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
you people aren't CASTING