Undesirable No. 1 @vivelaeva - Tumblr Blog

Gorilla

Gorilla had a very unfortunate accident. His arm and head were torn off and he lost and eye, nose, and part of his face!

Here are the diagnosis photos I received from his person:

Fortunately, he looked quite treatable. We started with a spa, because he was already going to need new stuffing:

Then he got his heart and was restuffed:

I thought he was back together and sent these photos:

His person wrote “ Wow he looks amazing!” …. but he used to have ears, can you add some? Apparently, the gorilla had lost he ears entirely! So I made a small sample ear and put it temporarily in place:

“Perfect!” said his person. So I affixed it firmly and did the other one as well. Here he is ready to fly home:

Sturdy with 100% scent, 20/20 vision, and perfect hearing again!

andysmovingcastle

this is the best blog in the world

island-delver-go

(Source)

themanicnami

@orriculum @stormwaterwitch @sleepywitchmc shall we take to the woods?

bisexuanal

Before you become a parent do your future kids a favour and figure out what your automatic first response is to being annoyed or frustrated (because it will happen) and if it’s to get angry then you need to work on that. Kids can be annoying. They like loud noises and repetition and jumping around and being silly and don’t really understand social cues when they’re starting to wear on you.

Like obviously no one will ever be perfect. But if your immediate response to a grown adult annoying you is to snap back at them you’ve got to fix that before you hurt your kids with those responses.

onceuponamidnightdrizzle

Everyone needs to work with kids or retail before they have kids. the top 10% of the bratiest kids have the worst parents who snap at them. not only will it train you for kids but you actively see what bad parents looks like and its consequences

klaviergavinwiki

me throughout the year: if only i could justify buying this Thing :/ Maybe christmas or my birthday.

my mom: give me a list of things you want for christmas/your birthday

me: i have never wanted for anything ever in my entire life

myfairylily

passivemanipulations

saxifraga-x-urbium

A list of female chiefs of government of Independent States and Self-ruling Territories from the 20th century

A list of female Nobel Prize laureates

A list of women CEOS of the Fortune 500

A list of Olympic Medalists (women)

icebats

Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this

icebats

ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE

crimecommitter420-deactivated20

Why do women hate innovation?

whitepeopletwitter

lorem64

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

ankaa-avarshina

Two words: Raw eggs.

lorem64

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

ankaa-avarshina

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

phantoms-lair

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.