wildfire,,

...    YOU  CHOOSE  WHO  YOU  BURN.

[vivrae-arc]

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 ,   𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄   𝐀   𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍   𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄   —   #VIVRAE  ;   living ,   (to)   live ,   (to)   experience.   independent ,   private   multi   muse.   featuring   both   canon   and   original   characters.   low   activity.   mature   and   triggering   themes   present.   heavily   reliant   on   ask   prompts   and   plotting.   as   loved   by   astra.   (  she/her ,   25+  ).      carrd.

[vivrae]

i’m  still  a  believer  and  i  don’t  know  why    …    i’ve  never  been  a  natural  all  i  do  is  try ,  try ,  try.     /    independent ,  private  multi  muse.    featuring  canon  and  original  characters.    as  loved  by  astra.    ©

[leneemusing]

EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SENTENCES STARTERS

❝  i need you.  don’t you get that?  ❞

❝  i’m right here.  i’m always here right in front of you but you never see me!  ❞

❝  you’re my person.  ❞

❝  no,  i don’t wanna have to talk to anyone else right now.  i just want you.  ❞

❝  i know you’re busy and i don’t want to bother you i just—  can i just sit here with you while you work?  ❞

❝  are we okay?  ❞

❝  honestly,  i’m always there.  in my head.  the scars on my body might’ve healed but i never really walked away from it.  ❞

❝  do you want me to make the others leave?  or we could go,  get some fresh air.   ❞

❝  look i’m not coddling you,  i’m just trying to help.  i wanna take care of you cause i,  you know— care about you.  ❞

❝  alright,  here’s your coffee.  are you ready to talk or should i find something to ramble about for a few minutes?  ❞

❝  eventually,  you just gotta learn to let go of the past.  it’s always gonna hurt,  but you can choose when to start focusing on something other than the pain.  ❞

❝  hey,  just breathe.  look at me— look at me.  in and out.  breathe with me okay?  ❞

❝  keep your eyes on me—  just focus on me.  we’re gonna be okay.  ❞

❝  no,  i’m not okay.  nothing is okay.  it never is.  but that’s just how i function most days.  so i’ll be fine.  ❞

❝  i’m not gonna pretend anymore.  i’m still fucked up from it all and i don’t know when it gets better.  ❞

❝  if you keep waiting until you’re done ‘working on yourself’ before you let yourself be with the person you love,  you’re never gonna be with them.  and they’ll find someone else who is brave enough to give them a chance to love them exactly how they already are.  ❞

❝  why do you stick around?  what is it you think you see in me?  ❞

❝  not everything needs an explanation.  i care about you.  i don’t have to sit here and figure out why.  i just do.  so maybe you should try just accepting it too.  ❞

❝  i don’t need your permission to fall in love with you.  you don’t gotta love me back,  but it isn’t gonna stop me from being here when you need someone.  ❞

❝  you love me too much.  i know how that sounds but—  fucking hell.  you shouldn’t care that much about someone like me.  ❞

❝  i don’t care if loving you hurts me.  the world already has enough pain to dole out for no reason,  at least i’ll have gotten these scars from something beautiful.  ❞

❝  if people can hate for no reason,  than i can love for no reason too.  ❞

❝  one day you’re gonna need me and i’m not gonna be there to fix it.  ❞

❝  no,  i can’t fix everything for you this time.  it’s your mess.  clean it up.  ❞

❝  i dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations,  but mine doesn’t.  not when it’s you.  ❞

❝  i don’t know how to ask for help i just— i’ve never had anyone to ask for help from before.  so…this is me trying i guess.  i need it and i’m afraid to ask for it.  that’s the best i can do.  ❞

[ethyreal]

gifset edits     +     aurora,     ft.     @vivrae     !

[vivrae-arc]

i’m  still  a  believer  and  i  don’t  know  why    ...    i’ve  never  been  a  natural  all  i  do  is  try ,  try ,  try.     /    independent ,  private  multi  muse.    featuring  canon  and  original  characters.    as  loved  by  astra.    ©

[vivrae-arc]

...   @cursedbcrn   said   :   ❝  are you sure you don’t want me to stay?  ❞

roll  of  eyes  is  an  instinctual  act  she  thought  had  been  left  behind.  on  the  cutting  room  floor  of  her  mean  girl  persona.  crafted  in  a  transparent  attempt  to  protect  herself.  not  that  it  hadn’t  helped.  it  had  made  the  world  worse.  more  dark  and  bitter.  same  with  friendships ,  burned  before  they  had  a  chance  to  begin.  gaze  flickers  to  the  tribrid  that  stands  before  her  and  a  sigh  works  from  her  lips.     “  not  really.  but  jeez ,  if  it’s  that  important  to  you  ..  ”  

she  can’t  give  the  simple  answer  of  yes  —  yes ,  of  course  she  wants  hope  to  stay.  because  being  alone  has  stolen  enough  of  her  years.  and  damn  it.  she’s  tired.  instead.  she  turns  the  tides.  makes  it  seem  like  hope  is  the  one  who  can’t  accept  the  lonely  call  of  a  night  by  oneself.  and  then  pats  the  empty  spot  next  to  her.

[vivrae-arc]

...   @asiphon​   sent  :   ❛   night terrors .   hold  my  muse  after  they  wake  up  from  a  nightmare

hand  is  sent  flying  to  her  chest  before  eyes  fully  open.  accompanied  by  a  scream  that  falls  from  her  lips ,  without  reserve  for  who  it  might  wake.  as  soon  as  she’s  awake  ...  the  nightmare  is  gone.  it  slips  so  easily  from  her  mind.  leaving  her  to  wonder  if  it  ever  existed  at  all.  but  the  cold  chill  doesn’t  fade.  it  sits  in  her  room.  wrapping  around  lungs.  scaring  her  all  over  again.  as  if  it  hadn’t  gotten  in  enough  torment  before  this.  

“  jo  .. ?  ”     but  she  doesn’t  have  to  call  out.  there’s  already  a  dip  in  the  mattress.  knowing  without  being  asked  that  this  wasn’t  the  kind  that  went  away.  it’s  easy  enough  to  collapse  into  her  sister’s  hold.  feeling  all  the  more  like  a  child  that  can’t  get  a  grasp  on  sleeping  just  right.  before  lizzie  knows  what’s  happening ,  there’s  warm  tear  pouring  down  her  cheeks.  staining  the  fabric  of  josie’s  pajamas.  and  furthering  her  embarrassment.    

groan  of  protest  at  her  own  weakness.  then  a  hand  slipped  between  them  to   scrub  away  the  tears.  it  doesn’t  change  much.     “  ugh ,  this  is  so  stupid.  ”     she  wished  in  the  moment  her  voice  sounded  stronger.  like  she  believed  that  it  was  a  giant  waste  of  time.     “  i’m  crying  over  some  stupid  dream  that  i  can’t  even  remember.  that’s  it.  i’ve  officially  crossed  the  threshold  into  loserville.  popular  two.  ”

[vivrae-arc]

tired  does  not  cover  the  sinking  feeling  in  your  bones.  unlike  the  ache  after  a  night’s  run ,  under  glowing  light  of  a  full  moon.  that  pulls  energy  from  your  lungs.  twists  you  into  true  form.  but  this  ...  it’s  different.  you’re  out  of  breath.  and  the  exhaustion  that  clings  to  muscle  is  threatening  to  drain  your  soul  of  life.  the  urgency  is  gone  from  your  chest.  and  the  fight  is  fading  from  your  tongue.  you’re  giving  up.  

❝you  know  i’m  not  good  for  you  right?    there’s  probably  a  hundred  other  people  you  could  be  going  to  right  now  instead  of  me.❞

despite  her  efforts ,  you  hear  @ethyreal​‘s  voice  crack.  half  a  second.  beat  missed  by  most  who  stood  across  from  her.  their  fear  too  great.  their  attention  too  little.  you  understand  her.  and  that  crack  plays  a  broken  record  in  your  mind.  again  and  again.  because  if  you  can  pinpoint  the  very  second  she  started  to  unravel ,  you’ll  find  the  part  she  believes  the  least.  but  it’s  all  woven  together  in  the  chaos  of  her  emotions.

“  regina ,  stop !  ”     you  are  not  afraid  to  bubble  in  anger.  the  last  dying  breath  of  yours  clinging  to  your  teeth  like  a  wild  animal  ready  to  be  set  free  from  it’s  cage.  there’s  a  temper  that  lives  in  both  your  hearts.  and  it’s  been  a  long  time  since  you  kept  a  secret  from  her.     “  i  don’t  care.  ”     at  first ,  it  sounds  unempathetic.  a  cold  and  cruel  ending  to  a  story  barely  begun.  but  your  hand  reaches  to  clasps  hers.  thumb  stroking  over  knuckles.     “  stop  letting  everyone  else’s  opinion  of  you  have  any  say  in  this  ...  in  us.  you  are  good  for  me.  we’re  good  for  each  other.  what’s  it  going  to  take  to  make  you  see  that ?  ”

[vivrae-arc]

...   mahdena   ,

             eternals  do  not  cower,  you  taught  them  that.  they  learned  it  from  you.  and  now  you  stand  before  her  :  half-irritated,  half-bored.  your  eyes  linger  on  smallest  eternal,  they  narrow  with  every  word  spoken.  sprite  is  perhaps  the  most  contemptuous  of  you  all.  you  like  it.  it  is  more  real  to  you  than  the  reverence  of  humankind,  reciprocated  in  your  eternal  brethren.     ❝     so.     ❞      you  mimic,  rolling  your  eyes.  but  if  sprite  expects  you  to  be  moved  by  her  woe,  you  are  not.     ❝     their  worth  does  not  lie  within  the  tales  you  weave,  sprite.  nor  does  your  own  …  but  it  is  not  wrong.  i  simply  do  not  appreciate  the  pedestal  with  which  you  have  placed  me  upon.     ❞      you  allow  a  sliver  of  your  discomfort  expressed  in  the  tension  of  your  body.  you  eye  her  steadily,  as  head  cants  slowly.  you  ask,      ❝     -  you  tell  our  stories  but  you  are  rarely  in  them  …  why  ?     ❞

nor  does  your  own.  the  words  repeat.  an  endless  loop  that  dances  in  shapes  and  shadows  across  your  vision.  you  don’t  mean  to  get  lost  in  it’s  trance.  but  the  weight  carried  behind  the  sentiment  sucks  you  in ,  like  a  hungry  predator  ready  to  devour  it’s  first  meal  in  months.  you  may  not  be  the  biggest  feast  in  physical  form.  but  oh ,  if  this  demon  feeds  off  turmoil  ...  it’s  found  a  buffet  in  you.     “  have  you  tried  telling  them  that ?  ”     tongue  falls  short  of  relaxed  nerves.  you  know  before  you’ve  finished ,  thena  will  sense  the  war  that  waged  under  your  skin.  

“  they  think  so  little  of  themselves.  and  when  they  stand  next  to  us  ...  it’s  like  we  shrink  them  all  over  again.  telling  them  these  stories  gives  them  a  chance  to  feel  immortal.  to  know  the  thrill  you  get  after  a  battle.  or  the  joy  kingo  exudes  in  it’s  climax.  ”     your  heart  aches  and  shatters  for  the  way  the  mind  of  humans  works.  partly  because  ..  you  feel  it  too.  itching  in  a  place  you’ll  never  be  able  to  scratch.     “  i  didn’t  put  you  on  a  pedestal ,  thena.  they  did.  because  to  them  you  are  the  goddess  of  war.  the  great  protector  of  their  people.  is  it  so  wrong  they  want  to  show  their  appreciation  for  you ?  ”

the  rest  of  your  answer  traps  within  your  lungs.  she  has  too  great  a  point.  why  don’t  you  ever  put  yourself  in  them  ..  ?  because  you  aren’t  special.  because  you  don’t  play  the  role  of  a  hero.  you’re  a  story  teller  and  distraction.  a  calm  to  the  building  storm ,  but  only  ever  waiting  for  someone  else  to  strike.  but  there  are  some  things  that  should  never  be  said  aloud.  so  your  shoulders  shrug.  you  pick  a  grape  off  the  vine  within  your  hand  and  shake  off  your  emotions  as  if  they  aren’t  crushing  you.     “  i  don’t  know.  it’s  different ,  i  guess.  telling  stories  about  oneself  feels  ...  arrogant ,  doesn’t  it ?  ”  

[abigaillazaar]

YENNEFER APPRECIATION WEEK [7/7] free choice: monologues

[vivrae-arc]

...   strokethebat   ,

     › ›      ✧        you     could     have     died,     you     know.       𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄.          it won’t let go and he can’t see anything else.          he drowns in an ebony - smog ,       but somehow she keeps showing up.          HER VOICE ,       SWEET AND ANGELIC DRAWS HIM TO THE SURFACE.          𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜.          𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜.          𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜.          despite the crimson liquid oozing from open - wound.

❝       YEAH ,       WELL ,       I DIDN’T.          still standing ,       still breathing ,       and apparently still bleeding ,       so.       ❜❜          it’s a win / win ,       right ?          he gets to suffer another day and figure out what the fuck these feeling actually mean.          there’s hate in her defunct heart for him ,       ever since he brought her back.          𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝘽𝙀𝘾𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙄𝙏𝙇𝙀.          ❝       look ,       why do you even care anyway ?          i thought you’d be happy ,       thought you’d be digging a grave for me yourself.          you haven’t exactly been susie - sunshine since i brought you back.          SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST RETROGRESS TO YOUR CUSTOMARY STATE OF RESENTMENT ,       OKAY ?          it’s a helluva lot easier when you just hate me.       ❜❜                        › ›      ✧         @vivrae     ›    allison    argent.

offense  is  not  a  simple  emotion.  clung  to  the  tip  of  tongue.  cutting  across  inner  lip  in  an  effort  to  remain  locked  behind  her  teeth.       no.       it  is  an  all  encompassing  wave.  a  storm  that  sweeps  through  hollow  of  her  chest.  ripping  to  shreds  stability  she  has  worked  so  hard  to  craft.  tornado  among  the  already  rotten  ruin  of  a  girl.     “  stiles.  ”     name  drips  like  acid.  it’s  all  she  can  let  out  without  the  violent  strike  of  a  building  rage.  

“  wow !  you  really  think  that  little  of  me.  ”     confusion  follows  in  it’s  wake.  his  endless  spew  of  words  marked  with  hate  for  what  she  has  become    (  at  his  hand  ) ,    make  it  all  the  worse.  there’s  a  brief  moments  where  she  longs  for  the  torment  of  darkness  and  nothing.     the  afterlife  with  which  had  seemed  eternal.     “  because  the  big ,  bad  monster  couldn’t  possibly  care  about  anyone  other  than  herself.  so  of  course.  she’d  be  happy  to  stand  by  and  watch  her  best  friend  die.  ”     slow  build  explosion  set  within  her  gaze.  the  darkening  of  her  world.  and  narrow  focus  set  on  him.     “  but  —  i  guess  you’d  know  all  about  that ,  right ?  ”

[geckosbae]

Ruby Lucas appreciation week       ↳ day 1; Favorite Ruby outfit

[vivrae-arc]

...   @foxflew​​​ ,   meme.

ego  is  pressed  like  rock  against  her  teeth.  violent.  filled  to  the  brim  of  that  which  she  cannot  contain  ...  rage.  insecurity.  a  small  voice  in  her  head  that  echoes  the  cut  of  her  mother’s  tone.  it’s  worse  when  she  argues.  the  fight  living  and  breathing  inside  her.  pushing  her  to  unspeakable  volumes.     “  i  am  prepare  for  almost  anything !  ”     there’s  a  crack  to  her  words.  a  hidden  glint  of  what  she  can’t  say.

the  almost  is  too  loud.  anything  at  all.  except  absence.  except  silence.  her  life  has  been  consumed  with  the  very  same.  since  the  moment  first  breath  pulled  to  her  lungs  ...  she  had  been  deemed  unworthy.  what  did  her  existence  bring  to  a  mother  that  had  lost  the  only  thing  she  cared  for ?  nothing.  so  cor  stood  now ,  hands  curled  into  fists  at  her  side.  shouting  and  pushing.  doing  everything  in  her  power  to  push  him  out  of  her  life.  so  the  only  silence  that  followed  was  one  that  she  created.

[vivrae-arc]

...   @hrlsqunn​​ ,   meme.

to  see  the  world  as  it  currently  stands  has  always  been  her  curse.  a  burden  upon  shoulders.  true  source  of  earned  strength.  she  doesn’t  flicker  gaze  to  the  chaos  of  blonde  hair  that  sits  across  from  her.  but  the  affection  is  echoed  in  slow  curling  smile.  even  trapped  in  boiling  anger ,  there  is  something  in  harley  that  offers  a  glimpse  of  the  sun.  

“  we’re  all  kind  of  weird ,  ”     she  admits.  laughing.  not  enough  to  be  mistaken  for  genuinely  humor.  it’s  amusement.  the  nature  of  the  beast  that  they  have  created  in  their  little  world.     “  and  twisted.  and  drowning.  ”     but  gaze  sinks.  a  hollow  zone  into  the  memories  that  plague  day  to  day  living.  they  were  just  that  ...  drowning.  in  the  weight  of  all  they’d  done.  and  the  knowledge  of  what  they  still  had  to  do.  

[vivrae-arc]

...   ofmalice   ,

“ how long have you — I don’t want to know, actually. ”  minerva cuts herself off with a resounded sigh. finally able to hear herself think over the pounding of a rapid heart. while she was no stranger to someone simply inviting themselves in  ( — it seemed to come with the whole ❝ avenging ❞ thing )  it certainly was the first time she’d discovered it in such a manner. not thegreatest, she’d admit.

“ unfortunately, yes. ”  minerva huffs,  “ I was about to go to bed. now, I’ll be lucky if I can sleep within the next three business days. ”  arms lean against the back of a reclining chair, head tilting a bit as she peers at yelena,  “ I’m almost afraid to ask this, but what brings you by? ”

“  what ?  come  on  ...  i’ve  only  been  here  an  hour.  ”     answer  to  the  question  given  without  recoil.  smile  gracing  her  lips  as  though  she’s  told  her  counter  the  greatest  news  ever.     “  you  know.  that  fancy  security  system  you  have  —  it  isn’t  very  good.  ”     too  easily  hacked.  even  more  so  to  smash  to  pieces.  but  she  wasn’t  in  the  habit  of  cleaning  up  messes.  hacking  had  been  cleaner.

gaze  remains  up ,  focused  on  minerva’s  features.  studying.  calculating.  even  as  she  childishly  pulls  the  spoon  from  her  lips  with  a  pop.     “  can’t  i  just  come  to  say  hello  ...  ?  ”     not  that  their  lives  could  ever  be  that  simple.  not  anymore.     “  i  like  it  here.  your  home  is  very  cozy.  ”

[vivrae-arc]

...   mahdena·   ,

               ❝     sprite-     ❞      name  drawled  ‘pon  eternal  tongue,  your  eyes  narrow  at  @vivrae·  :  she  is  not  a  child,  despite  appearances  -  and  you  have  no  intention  of  treating  her  as  such.  your  ire  is  the  same  as  it  would  be  with  any  of  the  others,  it  just  so  happens  to  be  sprite’s  turn  to  face  your  displeasure.     ❝     you  have  been  telling  stories  …  again.     ❞      of  you,  to  the  humans.  and  now  they  look  upon  you  as  if  a  deity  to  be  worshipped.  you  glare.       ›     sc.

“  so ?  ”     you  learned  long  ago ,  eternals  do  not  cower.  not  for  deviants.  not  for  humans.  and  least  for  all  ...  for  each  other.  even  if  thena  is  the  last  you’d  ever  wish  to  face  on  battlefield.  you  can’t  bend  to  the  anger  that  echoes  behind  words.     “  they  like  my  stories.  ”     it’s  the  only  time  you  feel  important.  they  gather  in  hoards.  hang  on  every  word.  you  feel  like  a  god.  if  only  for  the  moment.     “  it  makes  them  feel  part  of  our  world.  bigger  than  themselves.  is  that  so  wrong ?  ”

[vivrae-arc]

...   @mahdena​​ ,   meme.

frustration  worn.  once  a  badge  of  pride.  now  withering  into  void.  you  hold  tight.  you  will  always  have  pieces  of  your  rage  ...  if  nothing  else.  seconds  tick.  like  sand  flows  through  an  hourglass.  if  gaze  remains  fixated  on  movements ,  you’ll  surely  miss  how  fast  it  goes.  but  you’re  waiting.  patience  set  like  stone.  holding  breath  for  the  inevitable  passing  of  words  meant  to  comfort.  the  same  every  other  person  drops  upon  your  shoulders    —  ‘it’s  best  to  accept  life  as  it  really  is  and  not  as  you  imagined  it  to  be.’

it  will  only  serve  to  push  you  further  into  anger.  words  ...  how  easy  for  them.  saying  what  they  don’t  believe.  after  all , what  did  they  know  of  acceptable ?  what  did  they  know  of  your  struggle ?  to  never  really  touch  their  world.  no  matter  the  wisdom  you  possess.  no  matter  how  many  years  come  and  go ,  you  will  linger  on  the  outskirts.  untouched  by  time.  unaccepted  by  the  humans  you  have  fought  so  hard  to  protect.

but  thena  has  always  been  different.  she  does  not  further  your  burden  by  pretending  to  fix  it.  by  forcing  your  hand  into  acting  as  those  her  words  have  saved  you.  pulled  you  from  the  rotting  corpse  of  your  agony.  there  is  just  ...  silence.  the  best  assistance  she  can  offer  in  this  moment  is  a  safe  place  to  let  it  out.  to  sit  back  as  you  release  the  pain.  and  when  you  do ,  you  feel  better  for  it.

winded  from  the  scream  that  has  torn  apart  vocal  chords.  exhausted  from  tears  never  shed  in  the  presence  of  those  who  did  not  understand.  unsure  of  how  to  move  on  in  the  great  lie  of  acceptance.  but  ...  you  feel  seen.  for  the  first  time  in  longer  than  you  dare  to  let  yourself  remember ,  you  feel  safe.  it’s  not  a  solution.  but  it’s  as  close  to  peace  as  you  can  hope  to  get.