[volnawrites]

Sometimes, the biggest battle we face is the one within ourselves. Our thoughts, our fears, our insecurities these can be greater enemies than any external force. No one can truly harm us unless we allow them to. No one can control our minds unless we give them that power. It all starts with us. The way we let people treat us, the way we absorb their words, the way we internalize their actions, it is all a reflection of what we permit.

Allah ﷻ reminds us in the Qur’an:

"Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Qur’an 13:11)

This means that before we seek change in others, before we demand respect, before we look for love and validation outside, we must first cultivate it within ourselves. We must reflect, self-correct, and understand our worth in the eyes of Allah before we seek it in the eyes of people. If we allow disrespect, it is because somewhere, we have not drawn the line. If we allow ourselves to be treated unjustly, perhaps we have not yet realized the dignity Allah has bestowed upon us. Loving ourselves is not arrogance, it is recognizing that we are creations of Allah, honored and dignified by Him. The Prophet ﷺ said:

"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Bukhari & Muslim)

But how can we love for others what we do not even possess for ourselves? If we do not nurture self-respect, self-love, and a strong connection with our Creator, how can we give anything meaningful to others?

Sometimes, solitude is necessary. Sometimes, stepping away from the world and reflecting on who we are, who we are becoming, and who we want to be is the most important journey we can take. In silence, we hear the whispers of our soul. In solitude, we realize how much power we have given away power that belongs only to Allah. People are just people; they come and go, they disappoint and surprise, they love and they leave. But our worth is not tied to them. It is tied to our Creator. Love yourself for the sake of Allah, and let that love guide you in how you allow the world to treat you.

[volnawrites]

Sometimes the deepest stories are not in the things that happen but in the things that don’t. The doors that never opened, the hands that never held ours, the dreams that remained just dreams each of them carries a silent wisdom, a mercy we may not yet understand. We often mourn the departures, the losses, the unanswered prayers, unaware that in the unseen, there is a divine orchestration at work. Perhaps that love would have shattered us, that opportunity would have led us astray, that path would have taken us far from where we were meant to be. There is Insha’Allah care in the things that don’t happen, a hidden kindness in what is withheld. We are so focused on what we wanted that we fail to see what we were protected from. And maybe one day, when we look back, we will whisper Alhamdulillah for the no’s, for the delays, for the endings because they were never really losses, but redirections to something better, something written just for us.

Always grateful inshaAllah , khair ☆

[volnawrites]

Recently i made the decision to start wearing the niqab a choice deeply rooted in my faith, my sense of modesty, and my commitment to covering myself in a way that I believe aligns my religion. While there are differing views on whether niqab is obligatory or recommended, I chose to wear it wanting to be on the safer side. I knew from the very beginning that this journey would not be easy and I had mentally prepared myself for the challenges that would come from society, from strangers, and from people who might misunderstand my choice. But what I was not prepared for was the reaction from my own family. I had imagined that stepping outside in a niqab would be the hardest part dealing with stares, whispers, or assumptions that I am overly conservative or isolated from the world. But surprisingly what hurt me the most was not the reaction of the outside world but rather the reaction of those closest to me. The moment that really struck me was during a simple dinner at home, where I was sitting with my family and an uncle from my maternal side. Since they are my mahrams i wasn’t wearing a hijab at that moment . His comments were very hurting and i realised that its not always the strangers but it is those within our own circles who question and challenge our choices the most.

His words and attitude made me realize how deeply ingrained certain perceptions are even among Muslims. Perhaps he sees the niqab as unnecessary, extreme, or a sign of restriction rather than empowerment. Maybe he believes it creates distance between people, making interactions more difficult. But for me wearing the niqab is not about separating myself from the world it is about strengthening my relationship with Allah about feeling secure in my modesty and about finding peace in my identity as a Muslim woman.

It has taught me that the real test of faith is not just in wearing the niqab but in enduring the reactions that come with it. I’ve realized that conviction is not just about believing in something it is about standing by it even when it is difficult, even when those closest to you do not understand it.

I know that this journey is still new for me and there will be many more challenges ahead. But I also know that sincerity in faith comes with trials. If Allah has guided me to this path then I trust that He will also give me the strength to walk it.

To any woman out there who is struggling with a similar choice know that you are not alone. The world may not always understand you, and even your own family may not always support you, but if your intention is sincere and your heart is firm that is what truly matters. Keep going. Your journey is between you and Allah and that is the only validation you need.

[volnawrites]

Life feels so unjust at times, as the world doesn't treat me the way i want to be treated. There are moments when it seems that the world is not designed for me and that the burdens i endure is too heavy to handle. On other days, though i remind myself that it's only one bad day and there will be a better one tomorrow.   I know life is a cycle of hardships and victories of grief and fortitude. The very hardship that seems intolerable is what moulds us , showing us not just what we deserve but what we can bear.

Adversity can shatter us if we see it as nothing more than a burden. However, they become the very thing that propels us ahead when we view them as challenges and chances to improve.

We are beautifully reminded of this fact by the Quran:

"In fact, ease comes with hardship." (Al-Inshirah Surah 94:6)

This passage is an assurance that no adversity is isolated and it is a promise from Allah. There are seeds of relief and better days in every challenge. Our hardships are not pointless rather they help us grow as people, deepen our faith, and get closer to our Creator.

When we are feeling hopeless, let us cling to this knowledge. Reminding that life is about more things than simply suffering; it's also about finding purpose in our hardships and developing forbearance and resilience.Similar to how the sun rises after the darkest night, our struggles will also bring us relief, maybe not in the way we anticipate but always in the way we require.

[volnawrites]

I dont know if things make sense to you

But you made me miserable for my life.

And all these times , with or without you

makes me love you , no less

But do you know what makes me feel more

is your sense of making me feel miserable.

[volnawrites]

Life is a tapestry woven with threads of change, an ever-evolving landscape where time reshapes not only our surroundings but the very essence of who we are. People transform in unexpected ways often driven by their circumstances, desires, or deep-seated need for connection. Why do we change? At times, it feels like an innate will, a spark igniting within us, urging us to evolve. We often hear the defensiveness of those who resist change, proclaiming, “This is who I am. If you want me to be different, then maybe we’re not meant to be.” Such declarations echo a painful truth: the struggle between self-acceptance and the yearning for love. In those moments, guilt washes over us. We question ourselves, asking, “Am I so wrong for wanting something different? How can I expect them to change?”As days slip into years, we wear the weight of this turmoil. The vibrant colors of our identity fade, replaced by shadows of discontent. We find ourselves lost in the pursuit of a love that feels just out of reach, shackled by the hope that our patience will yield transformation. In our quest to hold onto someone, we gradually relinquish pieces of ourselves, becoming unrecognizable in our own reflections. Yet, when the courage to walk away finally ignites, we believe we’ve reclaimed our narrative. We think the chapter has closed, that justice has been served in our act of liberation. But life, with its relentless lessons, often has other plans. It tests our resolve, throwing us into a tempest of emotions where the true hurt reveals itself.

Imagine witnessing the person who once vowed never to change, morphing beautifully for someone else. It’s a gut-wrenching moment—a realization that shatters our already fragile world. The love we chased, the dreams we nurtured, seem to dissipate like mist in the morning sun, leaving us with an aching emptiness. We confront the profound irony of human connection: that change, while often resisting. It teaches us resilience, the necessity of self-love, and the importance of boundaries. And we learn that our worth is not defined by the love we sought from others, but by the love we cultivate within ourselves.This rollercoaster of existence, fraught with pain and growth, invites us to embrace change—not as a threat, but as a catalyst for self-discovery. We begin to understand that while life may challenge us, it also equips us with the strength to rebuild. The journey may be long and tumultuous, but within it lies the potential for renewal for finding the pieces of ourselves we thought were lost forever. We rise not just from the ashes of our past, but into a future ripe with possibility, learning that change, though difficult, is often the very essence of becoming who we were always meant to be.

[volnawrites]

Why do i always feel like i should be somewhere else ?

[volnawrites]

You know that feeling of being ignored, those emotions, that restless heart of yours. Deep down you know it isn't your fault but you still keep blaming yourself. You come to the point were you want to believe that it's me who has done something to be ignored. I don't know how to talk , or maybe i talked too much to be in that person's life. And all these feelings settle in your heart , making you feel vulnerable , miserable for a whole life time. And after all this chaos , times come where you dont feel nothing. You become numb , you stop talking to people that's were you practice distance and live in your small self-made shell.

[volnawrites]

Who is going to cure whom ? I often struggle with my own demons , that lie deep inside me and don't want to get out of me . The way i am longing for some safer place , a place where I will dwell in my own . I guess the demons have found a safer place in me . They are happy dancing leaving pangs of hurt within my heart . My heart hardly can bear all this hurt now . I am standing In the middle and have nowhere to go. All of my insecurities have made my heart full and I don't know if I have some left space in me , for me. I can't take further demons in me . My heart is already full of demons which have eaten all the soft side. My demons are not angry with the world. They are tired of me and I'm tired of myself . I can no more fight with myself , with the demons. My heart is bursting from pain and I want to cry my heart out . Cry so loud and so hard that the pain of these years could vanish . I want my safer space and my safer place .

[volnawrites]

I am overly , excessively , unduly , inordinately , purely a sensitive and an emotional person .

from the other side <3

[volnawrites]

The desire, the Longing of the heart, it never dies . It never does. This world is a prison for the believer . It is , for sure it is . We long for so many things in this world and when we don't get it , everything around us feels suffocating. Suffocating to the level , that we even forget who we really are ? We forget our existence , our real purpose , and forget that this world is a trial for the believers. We even forget that this world is not permanent . We have the hereafter that we are supposed to chase . This feeling of suffocation makes me sad because we cry and we die for the things that are not worth it . We even forget that Allah ( s.w.t ) has planned things that are infinity times better than what we choose for ourselves. I pray to Allah (s.w.t ) , to ease the pain , to make us firm on his religion , to forgive us , to heal us and make the battles of this Dunya a source for being closer to Him .

InshaAllah , Khair.

Love from the other side <3

[volnawrites]

When I was a kid, I always had the urge to write down each and everything on the paper, even the slightest feeling. I never felt the urge to share my feelings with any person around me. It's very important to let your feelings off. To let your heart breath. To shake things off your chest. And the best way to do that is to just pen it down. There is no way you won't feel the relief, the ease and contentment.

love from the other side <3