[not-available-for-comment]

So. Storytime for guerilla gardeners and solarpunk enthusiasts. This story comes to me 3rd hand but I believe the basic shape of it is true, even if details may be off.

So there’s this guy who lives in my parents’ town. Wanted to have a pocket farm but lives on an urban lot in a small city instead because y’know jobs and stuff. He could definitely get a few raised beds in the backyard but nothing all that impressive and the front yard is on a very busy road with the expectation that it’ll look reasonably traditional (plus planting food by busy roads isn’t always a good idea).

However

After he’s lived there for a while, he realizes his neighbors are all older people who maybe have more challenges taking care of their yards than they used to. So he goes to his next door neighbor and offers a deal: I’ll mow and maintain your front yard for free if you let me knock down the fences between our backyards and plant them both with food. And you’ll get a cut of the produce.

Presumably the neighbor already knew and trusted this guy because he said yes. So he starts mowing and maintaining his and his neighbor’s front yards and planting food in their now-shared backyards. After a season or two this goes well enough that the next neighbor down the street asks if he can be in on this too.

So now there’s 3 front yards to mow and three backyards full of produce. And it keeps going from there. Dude gets a rider lawnmower and does everyone’s front yards, and meanwhile he’s maintaining an entire block’s worth of produce in the back. His yields got so high that he was able to start offering boxes of produce outside of the block’s residents too. This is how I heard of him: my parents’ next door neighbors were picking up a regular box of produce from him.

I love a couple of things about this story:

Offering to maintain people’s front yards for them allows baby boomers to feed their thirst for keeping up appearances while still getting food production into the neighborhood

As homeowners age offering services like this is legitimately good community building

BLOCK-LONG POCKET FARM

These exact circumstances might not be replicable everywhere, but I love thinking about how these principles could be applied.

[catnippackets]

obviously all mental shit is irrational and stupid but adhd paralysis. come on. like “I want to do ten different things at once and I care equally about all of them and therefore can’t decide which one has to be done first so I’ll just sit here and waste all of my energy trying to choose between them until ultimately the day is over and I’ve done nothing and am also no closer to figuring out what to do next than I was at the beginning of the day” are you kidding me

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve had my fair share of trauma and abuse in my life but almost none of it has come from my family directly. Sometimes I meet people whose trauma does come from their family mistreating them and to them the idea of a family out there somewhere being safe doesn’t occur to them. They don’t know what that looks like.

Here’s an example from my own life about what that looks like.

My grandmother had this Christmas ornament. It was a beautiful crystal clear glass bulb in an unusual shape that her best friend had bought for her many years before. It was irreplaceable, unique, imported from Europe. No longer in production.

And one day when I was eight years old I held it, accidentally squeezed it too tight, and it shattered in my hands like a water balloon.

When my grandmother saw this her first response was to check my hands for any cuts, wipe my apologetic tears, and gently ask if I was okay. Then she had me help her clean up the mess and that was that.

I broke something sentimental and irreplaceable and her first concern was making sure that I was okay. And that has been the standard for my entire life without question. That should be the standard in every family without question and if it wasn’t in your family then I’m very sorry you had to put up with that. I’m very sorry if you currently do have to put up with that.

You can, however, work to make it the standard in your own life from now on. Worry about the people you love first and trust that they know when they’ve done something wrong and if they don’t, explain it to them and let them understand the consequences.

Sometimes this also means reducing the presence in your life of people who refuse to live by this standard. That can hurt. I’ve had to do it myself with distant family and former friends. But sometimes it’s necessary.

Remember, you’re always worth more than a glass ornament. Anyone who doesn’t treat you as such is wrong.

[violetsandshrikes]

When I was a kid, my mother used to make a point of teaching me and my brother outside of schooling. She came from an incredibly progressive family, and has always been a big believer that ignorance always leads to a lot of the evil we see in the world

Basically, we’d do…what I guess you call additional study, after school? Which might sound tedious or bad, but we loved it, even my brother who didn’t enjoy school or academics and had a serious learning disability.

We used to use some old encyclopaedias we thrifted, but nowadays you could use Wiki or something similar. We’d open the book, choose a random topic, and spend the next month or so learning about it.

My mother would often have it so we had a few different things we were learning about in month: a place/culture, a religion, a historical event, a person, etc. My brother and I had those cheap, A4 spiral books, and we’d go to the public library and research, write down little notes, draw diagrams. We’d do activities like paint maps of new places or new animals we’d learned about.

I’ve been getting back into this again, and I cannot stress enough how enriching it is. It’s easier now with the internet available, but I still have an A4 book I jot little notes in. It’s alleviated a lot of boredom and restlessness. I can highly recommend.

[emrowene]

one thing I highly recommend doing that's helped me through the last few days is creating a "self-care menu." the idea is to create a ready-to-go list of things that brighten your spirits or occupy your mind. on bad days, when you can't remember the things that cheer you up or can't muster the energy to make a decision, it's invaluable.

i've got mine divided into three sections: appetizers, entrees, and takeout. appetizers are small things that cheer me up quick (petting my cats, making my favorite tea, playing a favorite song). entrees are activities that take a little longer (rereading a favorite fanfic, tending to my stardew valley farm, taking a bath). takeout is things that get me OUT of the house (going for a walk, going to a coffee shop, getting a bouquet from the grocery store).

sometimes when i'm so drained of energy and joy that it's paralyzing, i pick an item off the appetizers list, then that gives me the energy to think and choose one of the entrees as well. sometimes i close my eyes and point to something at random and do that. sometimes just reading the list reminds me of all the small things that make me happy.

[run-florist-run]

Puzzle purse love tokens from 1790 to 1816

[samwisethewitch]

*takes your face gently in my hands and looks sincerely into your eyes* listen. your home does not need to look like a showroom. homes are meant to be lived in, and that means a certain amount of mess. it's okay if there is clutter on your desk or if you don't remember the last time you cleaned your oven. mess is morally neutral. but at the same time, you deserve to live in an environment that is safe and comfortable, and that means someone has to clean sometimes. things like mold, spoiled food, and dirty litter boxes are genuine health hazards and need to be dealt with before they make someone sick. think of cleaning less as "my home needs to be completely spotless" and more as "I am an animal and I need a habitat that is free of hazardous material." it's okay. *kisses you on the forehead and tucks you into a blanket*

(and of course it is always acceptable and even good for you to ask someone else to help you with cleaning if it's physically or mentally difficult for you. even if you're paying them to do it.)

[hellyeahsickaf]

I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

How to Get On

How to have a great, disabled life.

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

[dvnyaaa]

before you go to bed tonight I want you to remember that it took a lot of courage to leave behind what’s not for you anymore. If you’re strong enough to let go, then you’ll be strong enough to find what’s next for you. you’ve got this, good night.

[honeytuesday]

hate how so much of adult friendship relies on updates, experiencing your life through pictures and tidbits. we had it good with childhood friends, could spend years and years basking in the same circumstance. now i just float through clouds of strangers, hungry for something solid and warm. yes i carry your heart within mine, yes i see the world through your eyes. but in that very moment i still feel alone, still know it's poor substitute for same room, twin smiles.

[berakar]

The best reminder

[tendermimi]

— Louise Glück, Solstice

[peacozy]

[cheruib]

i hope march lands softly like a bird on your shoulder and sings the sweetest song for you i hope its light drenches your soul i hope it leaves you stunned by its tenderness and more hopeful than ever

[lilytear-s]

@sandarafreedompark / Sade Andria Zabala / Unknown / @danielederossi / Kiki Nicole / Giovanni Gasparro / Trista Mateer / Anne Sexton / The Coral

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

“You can say anything and I will not abandon you.”

[wedarkacademia]

― Rainer Maria Rilke, The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge

[text id : “To be loved means to be consumed. To love means to radiate with inexhaustible light. To be loved is to pass away, to love is to endure.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke, The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge]