why tho @vxmbie - Tumblr Blog

So I was having a conversation with a friend about old anime and in the middle of it she forgot the word "canonical" and she instead inflicted a spectacular new aesthetic and slew of mental images on me by saying the phrase "Biblically Accurate Ouran High School Host Club".

prokopetz

Etymologically, "bible" simply means "book", so any film or television adaptation of media originally published in book form that's true to its source material can technically be described as "biblically accurate".

centerpointsorcerer

aidashakur

I love when it’s clear as day that someone is in love with me. I don’t ever wanna have to question how you feel about me.

angelmonstrosity

anxietyproblem

am1na

just finished another day of pretending i don’t need love and attention

chthonic-pain

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

chthonic-pain

nobody ever taught me the warning signs for drug addiction, only that "it costs lots of money and destroys your life!!!1" which is not helpful if you can't recognize a developing addiction in yourself.

so here's some things to watch out for with recreational drug use:

planning your day around drugs e.g "i'll give myself an extra half hour before heading out so i can get high first"

rapidly switching emotions around drugs. you love them but you hate that you love them so much. you hate the way you feel on them but you hate being sober. feeling guilty after using even when you didn't give a crap beforehand.

caring less about spending money. if you are budgeting for drugs like they are food, you are likely prioritizing them more than is healthy.

getting high to do household chores and other unpleasant things because it would suck less and be more bearable on drugs

feeling anxious or restless while sober, not knowing what to do with oneself, feeling lost or ungrounded.

thinking about doing drugs constantly even while sober. maybe it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. maybe when you're bored or otherwise have free time, drugs are one of the first things you can think of to occupy yourself with.

going to work or school while under the influence, especially if it happens regularly and if you're seeing your performance suffer as a result.

the idea of taking a 'tolerance break' sounds good to you until it's actually break time, at which point you can come up with 20 very reasonable sounding points to explain why it wouldn't benefit you actually and you should just keep doing drugs regardless.

even if you succeed at quitting the drug, you keep your dealer's number on your phone "just in case"

you pretend to be sober when you aren't. you worry about other people noticing how much time you spend high. you make efforts to hide your drug use or minimize how much other people think you're using. you're scared of other people's judgement if they were to find out.

you have mood swings laced with self-hatred, regret, financial worries, and guilt. these mood swings are then very quickly wiped away by feelings of "but it doesn't matter, i can do what i want, and clearly i'm doing just fine while using drugs frequently". news flash, if you are rapidly switching between feeling numb-ok and hating yourself more than anything because of your drug use, you are mentally ill.

yes this applies to weed. weed is a drug and you can get addicted to it like any other substance. addiction is not the same as physical dependence; it is psychological and it can happen to anyone. you are not immune to addiction.

ed-recovery-affirmations

So although this is an eating disorder blog I believe that ED recovery can be best supported by supporting all kinds of mental health issues and general health disorders, and addiction has heavy roots in both. Many people who struggle with EDs also struggle with substance use disorder. I think it's really important for everyone to see this, and to understand that most people don't think they're going to become an addict when they're in the earlier stages of substance use. (Yes, this does involve alcohol and weed. It's very easy to develop debilitating alcohol dependence.)

The need to relax and take the edge off is so widely understood, and it's not uncommon to do that with a glass of wine after work or a beer while watching sports on your day off. It's not uncommon to get drunk with your friends. And as for things like pills, you might have taken pain medication in your lifetime for a routine operation. You got your wisdom teeth or your appendix out, or you sustained a nasty work injury, so they gave you painkillers. And maybe they warned you about the importance of only using the prescribed dose as directed, and only until the prescription runs out. But then they do more than eliminate your physical pain. They make your brain feel...funny. Not necessarily bad-funny. In fact, it might feel nice how they seem to lift the weight of the world off your shoulders. It's easy enough to want to feel that way again.

So maybe you're in the habit of having a drink to take the edge off. Except there's a lot going on in life that's putting you on edge lately, and maybe that gives you a lot more reason to drink, or do whatever it is you do to take the edge off. I write this to give perspective, because you can see people who've made some very questionable choices and wonder how they could let themselves end up that way. But most people don't realize they're out of control until they're...well, out of control.

Anyway, develop a wide array of coping tools, know the signs, and do not be ashamed to seek help if this is you. If it is, you are not alone.