"I made this at 12:49 am and there may b a lot of typos bcs i rlly don't wanna- ANYWAYYY this was gonna be a poem thats y there r rhymes in there but i guess that ideas been scratched and thrown"
(This is VynRosa btw)
Two of the opposite personalities meet and are filled with anxiety.
One wears a wry smile while one wears such a simple smile but hides countless of unexplainable emotions.
The girl represented the sun. Bright light filling the void filled night as the sight fills him with delight.
The man whoever, represents the moon. Dark and mysterious. Only being able to see one side of him. He however, controls and affects things with such precision. Making sure that every thing's balanced and well. But, no matter how mysterious and powerful he is, his unexplainable beauty lures even the greatest beings.
The sun and the moon may be complete opposites but they both have one thing in common. They feel love towards each other. They long to hold, and be bold as their affectionate actions unfold and display it for the world to see. Even though they feel love towards each other, the moon still covers and hides as his eyes go blind with the bright and pure light the sun shines. 'The sun deserves someone that can actually appreciate her beauty and importance with no consequences or barriers' the Moon thinks.
The moon may hold countless secrets of his that may remain untold but with determination and passion, he can finally accept his fate and try fight for their love. But even with these strong wishes, the sun and the moon remain far away from each others reach as the sun let's out a small sigh and even with the countless tries, their love simply cannot grow. The distance between them shortening and getting farther. The moon loses all hope, but the sun? She remains determined. She remains positive. But the moon has given up. The moon, now darker than it used to, now gets stronger and braver by the day even without his love to keep him bright like her.
Speaking of the moon being bright as the sun, the moon's love for the sun is now slowly dissipating. The sun senses the moon losing feelings for her but she remains unafraid if there ever comes a day that he returns and remains to try for the sake of their love.
It never happened.
The moon now takes advantage of her. Stealing the light she used to beam at him and the earth. He's no as cold as the space that surrounds them. Maybe even colder than a died out star but all she knows is that he's no longer the same.
The last days of the sun now approaches. Her usual bright rays weakening yet her hot and fuming affection still burns more than it ever has. The moon realizes this and it finally clicks.
His beloved sun has also fallen out of love, has she? The burning passion of the sun explodes into pieces. She is now turning into something he dreaded. She's turning into someone like him. The sun gives out a small ray of light to him acting as a farew—
——————
The sound of someone calling Vyn's name snaps him back to reality.
"Dr. Richter, are you alright? You've been spacing out a lot these days."
"Ah—— I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm simply just deep in thought."
"I see, please remember that if ever that there's anything bothering you, you can always come to me!"
"Thank you, Ro—"
"Rosa."
A sudden voice interrupts Vyn's words. Both him and Rosa turn their heads to see Artem standing near the door to the NXX meeting room.
"It's getting quite late. We still have some work to do as well. Let's go home early for the day. I'll cook you some food."
"Okay, thank you, love!"
"You're always welcome."
'"Love". That nickname is infuriating.' Jealousy fills the mans mind and face alike. Artem spares him a glance and he bows his head a bit as a sign of small respect and whatnot.
"Hesitancy is something that you must, at all cost avoid. With hesitancy, every chance that might've opened up for you might close and never open again. You can also connect hesitancy with cowardice and fear. But even so, these 3 things are much so unavoidable in every day life. But always keep in mind that if you ever hesitate in doing something, think it through first before jumping into sudden decisions and giving up. The pain and the regret that comes after hesitancy is never worth it."
"It's time, isn't it? We still have about 4 minutes. I have an assignment for you all. Turn to page 78 and observe the contents. Have you read it? This will be our next topic for tomorrow. Please read it in advance since I will be asking you all for yout input in here. "
And with that, Vyn's class is now finished. He enters his car and leans and buries his head on the steering wheel. A slight chuckle escapes his lips as if mocking himself. It's quite pathetic though. Teaching his students to not hesitate, and instantly calling himself out. But all he said was true. Hesitancy is the root of all regret. And another thing will now haunt him for the rest of his life.
The song above is kinda like fluff but like angst fits em sm so why not🤷♂️
GN(reader is referred to as Rosa) (did I even use 'referred' correctly😨)
Warnings: none
It was the usual saturday morning. The sound of the birds chirping outside acts as a sign that morning has come and it's time to get up. You look at your side and see your beloved Luke sleeping soudly, hugging you from behind. His messy hair mimicking a birds nest makes a chuckle escape your lips. Despite the quietness of it, Luke still somehow wakes up from it. "Sorry, did I wakw you up?" you ask gently whilst ruffling his hair. He shakes his head and burries himself deeper.
You don't know how long but you finally got to 'drag' him to the table to eat breakfast. He still seems sleepy though, judging from his slow movements and slightly closed eyes. A few more minutes come by and he seems awake enough for his usual bright attitude to finally get to work with making your day even better. "Didn't Vyn ask you to come by around afternoon?" he asks a sudden question. "Yeah. I asked him why but he doesn't tell me the reason." "Probably just gonna give you some sweets." Now that you think of it, Vyn usually does give you some cakes and a few homemade candies whenever he has free time so you think that it is possible. You both are now seated on the sofa, hands locked together, your head leaning to his shoulder. Everything was perfect, except for one thing. His body felt cold. Summer was fast approaching but it is still winter so this raises a confusing question. "Are you cold?" you ask him genuinely worried for his wellbeing. "I'm okay. Probably just because it's still a bit early. Y'know, mornings are cold." he assures you as he wraps his arms around you. You set aside your thoughts and just enjoy this peaceful time with him.
The clock ticks. It's now 12:30 which is almost time for your visit to Vyn's home. Though, fortunately, before you got out of the house, you receive a message from Vyn telling you to go to the research center instead. You make your way to your destination and finally get to ask Vyn a question that you've been meaning to get an answer to. "Why'd you suddenly wanted to meet, Dr. Richter?" "Nothing, really. How're you?" he seemed to have dodged your question but you happily engage in a small talk with him. "Oh, I'm doing amazing! It gets lonely staying in my apartment alone but luckily, Luke has often visited me." After you finish your response, Vyn's eyes seemed to have widened for a moment but he quickly regains his composure. "Luke? How is he?" "He's just like usual. Though, his health had been confusing lately." Vyn didn't try to have you elaborate this sensing your own confusion. "I see. I'm happy to see that you're doing well." before you could continue the conversation, Vyn suddenly stands up and speaks. "Please excuse me for a moment. I just need to call someone." seeing how he made you visit him at the research center, you thought that he was probably going to call his assistant or a patient. You sat there quietly but Vyn's conversation was a bit 'hearable' from where you sat. " There really is something wrong." "hmm" "Yes. I think that the shock from the accident resulted in such a tragedy which also resulted to...this." "I'll try to help for as much as I can." You get surprised while listening to his conversation. Looks like one of his patient isn't doing that good. You wish that the patient feels better under Vyn's care.
Vyn now walks towards you again. He looks at you with a wry smile etched on his face. "I apologize for the wait. It's just that a friend of mine is just.. In a bit of a predicament." he walks to the back of your seat. A few moments later, you felt a momentarily pain in your neck until your eyes felt heavy. You have no idea how long has it been but it sure did feel like a long time. The first thing that you notice is that you're now lying down. A few moments later, Vyn walks towards your peripheral vision. "Rosa. Accept it." accept what? You ask yourself as you feel like you muscles are a bit too relaxed and you're unable to utter a single word. "He's not coming back. Whatever you do or think about doing, it still won't help in bringing him back." "What's done is done. Acceptance is all you need." he walks closer to you and leans. His face is now a few inches away from yours. "Luke's gone, Rosa. You can't bring him back." His statement serves as a surprise to you. You muster up all your strength to respond to his claims. "What do you mean? He was just..Eating breakfast with me earlier." You don't know when but tears have seemed to have built up in your eyes. Your body accepts his death but your mind is set that he's not. You can't believe that you won't be able to see him again. " You're hallucinating. " " No." You interrupt him. "I swear, I just saw him earlier!" "You're lying!" you stutter between words. Your body seemed to have weakened responding to this hurtful fact yet your mind still insists. Vyn pulls out something from his pocket and puts it in front of you. "You'll eventually forget him." those were the last words you heard as your consciousness slowly slips away just like how Luke did in your arms.
This was so messy and unplanned literally punching the air rn😭
(a series wherein various characters forget various things that were important to them)
"The fear of forgetting something is one of the many rare things people feel. And in Marius' state, he fears the fact of not knowing something that someone should commonly know."
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Mentions of blood i think thats all
GN
(this isn't rlly a Marius x reader because this is just a story written in like, Marius' POV i guess?)
Current character(s) present: Marius von Hagen (Tears of Themis)
(made while i was having a breakdown and went "WAIT SHIT THIS PLOT IS GOOD" mid breakdown💀)
Marius reaches his climax. He hurriedly grabs his car keys in a desperate attempt to go to someplace only he knows. Marius was slowly falling apart. The urge to just let the tears pour out tried to reign over him, but the sight of his older brother, who depends on him, brightly smiling at him through a photograph had fortunately stopped his breakdown by minutes.
One hand on the wheel, the other attempting to wipe the leakage on his eyes. He doesn't understand, where did this sudden urge to cry come from? He's confused about everything. As his eyes blur, silent sobs escape his mouth. His lavender looking eyes focused on the road yet his brain is currently focused on this one thought that's been haunting him since he was ever brought to this world. "It all really was my fault, isn't it?" as he thinks of that single sentence, the image of a woman, seemingly with slightly purplish hair with a simple but pretty dress shows up in front of him. But instead of him seeing the road and the other things present in his car, he seems to be in an empty field with the purple-haired woman holding a bouquet of daffodils. Everything within his line of sight was perfect..unlike one thing. The woman didn't have a face. Her face was somehow covered by a "shadow". Marius thinks of approaching the woman. "Who are you?" he asks. "You've grown, dear. I'm so proud of all you've achieved until now. You're managing the company by yourself, right? Don't overwork yourself, okay?" The woman responds with those kind words instead of a name. Despite that fact, Marius still recognized that sweet, lovely voice.
It was his mother.
He now runs as fast as he ever could as he could see the woman slowly fading. He was so close to hugging her until she dissipates. Marius now lays on the ground of the field and in a blink, now sees the floor of the entrance of his studio. He stands up, but as he walks, he seemingly moves like a drunk man. He gets support from the walls and grabs anything near him to support him and balance him. As he does so, his silent cries earlier now sounds louder. His eyes releasing rivers of emotion. Mostly sadness though. He finally gets to the door. He holds on the knob for dear life and the door opens revealing his paintings. He finally regains his composure and balance and attempts to paint the woman which resembled his mother in that odd daydream.
He tries and tries but everytime he does so, he feels that theres always something wrong. What did his mother look like? He wonders. And gives up. He slides down the wall he was leaning on and he is now sat on the floor. His hands covered in paint in various colors. But in his eyes, he sees blood. The blood of his mother which he had 'killed' during the birth of Marius. He stays seated for a few moments until he speaks up.
"Once upon a time, there was this boy. Around the age of 4. He was mischievous despite his age but he also knew his limits. He was quite a kind little kid. And everytime he does a kind act in front of the maids and butlers, the little boy would always hear "Young master Marius really does resemble his mother!". Every night, the little boy asks himself. What is a 'mother' and why do they seem related? He's tried asking his brother and Father but he never gets an answer. That is until he's grown. The little boy has now grown into a fine young man. Around the age of 18. It was the age wherein his Father promises to tell him what or who was his mother. The Father explains to the boy. The boy burst into tears. His older brother and Father, not knowing what to do, stood still pitying the poor boy. "
Marius laughs a bit and continues. "The boy has now grown yet again and now yearns for someone to listen to his little tales. He's found someone but he doesn't know how to invite her." he chuckles once more. "It's pathetic how often I talk to myself like this. But, then again, this isn't that rare either." the boy laughs at his pathetic state again. Now seemingly more calm than he was. He slowly looks to his left to gaze outside the window. The sun rises in the distance. It looms brighter than it usually did but this only brought relief to him.
Literally disappeared from the face of the earth and came back with angst LMFAOOOO
You were doing an 'Experiment' with Solomon at the purgatory hall which, to nobodies surprise, ended badly. Shards of the mirror which was used in the experiment flies everywhere in the room which also to your demise, hit you most times. Despite Solomon's efforts to keep you safe, having thousands of sharp glass flying over at him isn't really something he's surprisingly used to. These series of unfortunate events then lead to you and the magician having multiple cuts and a few of them deep enough to be partially considered 'Fatal'. As Luke runs around the living room looking for the medical kit, Simeon calmly calls Mammon for him to pick you up. You had some clothing covering your arms to prevvent you from losing more blood which kind of looked sily but if it works, then you don't have the right to complain. As soon as Simeon finishes his call with Mammon, Luke arrives with a handful of bandages and some rubbing alcohol. Solomon treats your wounds claiming that the events were his fault and he should take responsibility. As he dabs a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol in it, you hiss a bit from the stinging and burning sensation. A few more seconds come by until the front door opens with such haste.
Mammon now stands before the door, worry etched on his face. He looks around a bit until he spots you. He quickly runs towards you and kneels before you while having his hands above yours. He scans your body to see the various other things currently preventing you from bleeding to death. As he wonders in silence, one of the cloth that was covering quite a deep wound loosens which resulted to more blood seeping through the wound. He quickly panics as his grip on your hand tightens.
"Your arm! Quick, what's your type?" he says in a hurry not noticing how he's kind of shaking your body. "Uh— my type? Someone dumb but also responsible. That person can be smart but given the situation, it's a give or take. Maybe also someone that cares for his sibli—" "Not THAT kinda type, idiot! Your blood type! Has the loss of blood got ya delirious?!" "Oh— B positive." "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE POSITIVE WHEN YOU'RE BLEEDIN' TO DEATH?" the back to back 'argument' made a chuckle escape Simon's lips.
He quickly moves Mammon aside as he assures him "Let me try something." He's now got ahold of your hands as his starts to glow. A bright light now has engulfed you and Simon's hands. Mammon was now subdued as he stands aside. A few minutes has now passed and all your wounds are now nowhere to be seen. He thanks Simeon as he quickly then leads you back to the House of Lamentation. He silently swears to himself to never let you near Solomon ever again.
A/N: used an incorrect prompt generator for this and i just COULDN'T NOT DO THIS tho i think it'd be more like the other way around but i think its cuter like this<33
A/N: It already took me like 40mins to write one brother?? 😨 Yalls obey me writers have my full respect bro i could never💀
Lucifer was the avatar of pride yet the fact that the idea of receiving a rejection from you scares him makes him laugh at himself. He wanted to confess. He itches with the desire of finally having you for himself. Even his brothers encouraged him—the demon king himself and even the angels. Luke was slightly displeased by the fact that he'll one day witness love bloom between a human and a demon but he also knew that it was the best for Lucifer. The others feared that if Lucifer were to fail at confessing, he'd get it.
The Hanahaki Disease. The only thing that scares all creatures from the three worlds. The fact that this simple disease of feeling a one-sided love was enough to kill someone fears every leader in the three realms. Of course, Lucifer wasn't immune by it. Every passing day, he thinks about his friends' advices. They told him to at least give it a try before giving up. Besides, being rejected by a mere human isn't that much of a deal—right? Lucifer repeats those words on his head again and again seemingly an attempt to convince himself. Several amount of thinking later, he decides to 'make you fall in love with him'. Maybe this way, he can still change your mind.
Every chance that he sees, he takes it. Every little opportunity to just hover by your side or even simply just having small talk with you would help him severely. His hopes were quickly shattered into pieces as he breaks into a coughing fit. He was arranging some papers for Diavolo when the sudden urge to cough overcomes his thinking. He tries to get up from his seat to heaf towards the bathroom in his study but his legs seemed to have given up. He lays on the floor as his signed papers mimic his state. He lays there helplessly as he reaches for his mouth since he felt something. He thought that it might be blood but to his surprise, it was also something else. Rose petals have rosen from his mouth. As he exhales from his mouth, the petals float in the air for a bit until they also fall onto the ground.
He removes his hands from his mouth and he continues to lay there—somehow accepting defeat. His eyes starts to get heavier, his breathing gradually getting slower. He hears shuffling in the distance but the pain he felt in his chest distracts him. As he was about to close his eyes, his door was kicked down by someone—looking like a silhouette with orange hair. Even if there were about 6 people inside his room at the moment, their voices remained distant. Alas, a silhouette with white hair approaches him. The same man holds his head and supports his back sitting him upright, another silhouette with purple hair is now seen rushing out the door looking quite distressed. He ponders the reason why until he comes back again, now with an unfamiliar looking silhouette. His eyes widen and become a little clearer until he's finally able to see your face. His lips quiver as tears spill from his eyes. He sees the worry in your face as he tries to reach for it. Despite his efforts, his arms only twitch a bit and they turn numb once more. You notice this and you quickly kneel beside him reaching for his hands and quickly placing it beside your face. As lays there, using the second eldest as support, his head slightly leans a bit to the right as he smiles weakly. He sees your mouth moving but he couldn't hear anything.
"This is already enough. I accept my fate now, seeing how I've been to pathetic to even confirm your feelings for me, I have to accept it."
Lucifer thinks to himself as his eyes now fully shut. Lucifer was already aware of the cure. He heard from Diavolo that once his lungs are full of flowers, they can be surgically removed but this process results to his feelings for you disappearing. He refused Diavolo's offer in fear of forgetting how you softly smile at him despite the many times he'd caused you harm.
A/N: I DID SAY that i would write for om so— (I WROTE THIS AROUND 11 PM I HATE IT SM😭😭)
If this is slightly OOC, I do not care. This came into my head after reading @alstroemeriadissonance’s “NXX goes to Hell” story, reminding me of a headcanon I had written. And now it’s a story. Enjoy. Or not. XD
...
Rosa had warned them. Multiple times.
But now, she had had it up to here with Marius’s snotty childishness, Artem’s superiority complex, Vyn’s two doctorate degrees, and Luke… well, generally fanning the flames.
Now, she was standing at the NXX round table, four sets of wide eyes staring at her in fear after she had slammed a book on the table.
Slowly, she smiled, something tense covered in false sweetness. “Boys,” she purred, putting on her best innocent tone. “Stand up for me, yes?”
Luke was the first to do as told. Marius soon followed. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the only word that managed to fall from his lips was, “Missy…?”
“Yes, Mr. Von Hagen,” she asked, her tone dripping with artificial sugar to cover her boiling anger. “Do you have a question you think would be wise to ask?”
His eyes were wide, and Rosa watched the color drain from his face as he struggled for words. “N-no.”
She nodded, then looked towards her boss and the resident psychologist who were both slowly standing from their seats.
Without a word, she took Luke’s chair, dragging it across the room, the legs squealing against the floor as she did. Once she got to the corner of the room, she swung it around and dropped it so it faced the corner.
With that fake grin still in place, she then took Marius’s chair, dragging it squealing across the floor to another corner of the room and setting it up the same way. Next came Artem’s, followed by Vyn’s.
No boy dared say a word.
When she returned to the table, her smile was more or less real now as she stood tall, squared her shoulders, and clasped her hands in front of her. “Now," she began, surveying the other four members. "Would any one of you like to guess why I took your chairs? Or would you just like me to tell you?”
For once, her boss looked speechless. Marius was sporting a similar expression, although there was definitely more fear lingering in his eyes. Luke, for his part, hung his head the way he did when he knew he was in trouble, just like he had years ago when her mother had last scolded him.
Lastly, Vyn looked rather sheepish. “Have we done something to upset you, Rosa?”
“Upset? Me? Noooo,” she drawled out. “No no no. No, hehe. Why would you think that, Dr. Richter?”
“You seem to be rather tense and—”
“Vyn, for the love of everything good and holy in this world, shut up,” Luke cut in.
“Detective Pearce,” Rosa said, turning her tense smile on her oldest childhood friend, emphasis on the ‘child’. “You seem to have discovered the conclusion. Would you like to share it?”
Luke, NSB agent who faced down some of the hardest criminals with a sinister smile, looked rather like a kicked puppy at the moment who could barely meet her gaze. “Would you like us to sit in those chairs?”
“Yes, Detective Pearce,” she answered. “I would like you to sit in those chairs, like the quartet of naughty kindergarteners you are. And once you’ve thought about the reason I have asked you to sit in those chairs facing the corners, I will let you boys out of your time-out.”
“Rosa,” Artem finally spoke up, his face red and voice surprisingly unsteady. “Is this truly necessary?”
She turned her gaze on her superior. “I don’t know, Mr. Wing. Is it? After all, I’ve only asked you boys to stop your incessant pissing matches, oh, how many times now? Wait.”
With her finger in the air, the universal sign to ‘wait’, she canted her hips, exuding all the attitude she possibly could as she whipped out her phone and opened up the notes. “One hundred and twenty-seven times. With, let me state for the record, twelve of those times at the Pax Island, seven of those times in Skadi, and ten of those times in Egypt.” With that, she put her phone down on the table with a nice thwack and turned her tense smile back on the boys. “So, I do not know, Mr. Wing. What do you think? Is it fair of me to ask you boys to reflect on your piss-poor behavior when it has affected the inner workings of NXX?”
Artem now officially hung his head in shame, his cheeks bright red and unable to look Rosa in the eyes.
“Has it truly been that many times?” Vyn dared to ask, his eyes holding a modicum of surprise.
“Isn’t it shocking, Dr. Richter?” she shot back at him. “How much the psychologist doesn’t listen when that’s at least fifty percent of his job?”
Marius snorted.
“Do you find something funny, Mr. Von Hagen?”
“No, Missy.”
“No what?”
“No ma’am!”
“Better. Now, before I tell you all to sit your respective pain-in-the-asses down in your chairs, do you have any questions or comments you’d like to make?”
Luke cleared his throat. “How long would you like us to sit in the chairs?”
“A very good question, Detective Pearce.” With that, she pulled out her phone. “I’ll set a timer for five minutes. It will restart if any of you boys get up out of your seats. Anything else?”
“Surely there can be another method to be considered,” Vyn suggested.
“Vyn,” Marius hissed.
“And what could that possibly be, Dr. Richter?”
“I’m gonna go take a seat,” Luke said, stepping away from the table.
“I will, too,” Marius agreed.
Leaving Vyn and a tentative Artem standing at the table with Rosa.
“Please,” Rosa challenged. “I’m waiting.”
“I simply do not believe that this would be the best way to go about tackling the issue. I do believe we owe you an apology, however—”
“Dr. Richter,” Rosa said, cutting him off and siding up to him. That artificially sweet smile was still stretched across her face. “Do you know what I think? I think that Momma Richter has never held Little Vyn by the arm, helpfully guided him over to a seat, and sat his petulant ass down in a chair before instructing him to think about his actions. But don’t worry, Dr. Richter. There most certainly is a first time for everything. And if you think. for one moment. that I. do not possess the ability. to physically drag you over and put your ass in that chair… you are wrong.”
With that, Artem walked away from the table and over to his chair.
The only remaining man standing now hung his head, his cheeks redder than a tomato.
“So, Doctor. Rich. ter,” Rosa slowly ground out. “What would you like to do?”
Without a word, he went and sat in the remaining empty chair in the corner.
“What good boys,” Rosa chirped, setting a phone alarm for five minutes before sitting down in her chair and picking up a document.
And a minute in, she had an epiphany. She had just put four grown-ass men in a time-out.
She had just put FOUR GROWN-ASS MEN in time-out.
And not any grown-ass men, she realized, but a highly skilled state agent, the head of the Pax company, a senior attorney, AND a renowned psychologist.
She had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing.
Five minutes later, the timer went off.
“Do not get out of your chairs,” she commanded, watching as all four men slowly sat back down in their seats.
Holy shit, this was the most powerful she’d ever felt.
First, she walked over to Luke, siding up next to him and leaning against the wall. “Detective Pearce,” she began. “Why do you think I put you in time-out?”
Luke’s face turned red, but he still managed to shoot her an impressive pair of puppy dog eyes. “Rosaaa,” he quietly whined.
“Detective Pearce,” she quietly repeated. “Why do you think I put you in time-out today?”
He hung his head. “Because…”
A quiet sniggering came from the side.
“Mr. Von Hagen!" she said, spinning on her heel to face him. "How kind of you to volunteer while Detective Pearce gets his thoughts together.”
She watched Marius’s face blanch as she marched over to him. It filled her with more pride than she cared to admit.
“Mr. Von Hagen,” she said, leaning against the wall beside him. “Why do you think I put you in time-out?”
Marius hung his head in silence for a short moment. “Because… we didn’t listen to you?”
“That’s a good start,” she said. “Why do you think I put you specifically in time-out?”
His mouth moved but no words came out.
Which, she realized, was fair. These boys probably had no idea of the particular behaviors that had landed them in time-out other than they constantly were at each other’s throats.
Specifically, over her. She wasn’t completely oblivious. These boys all fought for her attention in one way or another. They were like a bunch of brothers wanting mom to tell each of them they were the favorite. Except it was four adult men fighting over little old her. It felt kinda like brothers fighting over who knew what was best for their little sister. Which had become mentally exhausting.
“Do you think it’s because you whine for my attention?” she asked.
Marius looked up at her, his face suddenly turning bright red.
“And pick on Vyn in particular, harassing him because he’s hard on you as his student? And because you wave around your status as both the head of Pax and as ‘King’ to try and get your way?”
He hung his head. “Yes, ma’am.”
She grinned. “Good job,” she said, her voice even. “You may take your chair back to the table.”
Without daring to look her in the eye, Marius dragged his chair back to the table, a sad little whine ringing through the room as the legs scraped across the floor.
She then walked back over to Luke. “Detective Pearce,” she said, leaning against the wall. “Do you know why I put you specifically into a time-out?”
He grimaced. “Be… cause… I…”
“Is it because you pull the ‘Rosa’s best friend’ card to try and rile up the other boys?”
Luke’s face turned red as he coughed.
“And because you try to boast about your skills, specifically about technology and survival?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You may take your chair back to the table.”
Also unable to look Rosa in the eye, Luke picked up his chair as silently as he could and walked back to the table.
Now came the two stubborn ones. Rosa took a deep breath before walking across the room to Artem. His face was already red, and he couldn’t so much as spare a glance in her direction.
“Mr. Wing. Do you know why I put you specifically in time-out?”
“Is it because I participate in these spats?” he asked.
She’d give him points for effort. “Maybe it’s because you wave your expertise around? And because you specifically engage in battles of knowledge with Vyn? And maybe it’s because you try to be an overprotective dad to me under the guise of being my work superior?”
He grunted, covering his mouth with his hand. “Y-yes.”
“Good. You may return to the table.”
He didn’t move; she walked away first. It was when her back was turned that she heard him pick up his chair and take it back to the table.
Now, to Vyn.
“Dr. Richter,” she said, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. Unlike the others, he was the first to sit tall and meet her gaze, even though his cheeks were a little pink. “Do you know why I put you specifically into time-out?”
“Upon reflection, I do engage in these arguments with wit.”
“You do,” she continued. “Purposefully to show off your knowledge in an attempt to impress me. Do you know what else?”
His expression faltered.
“Could it have to do with holding your elite status over the other’s heads?” she continued. “Or teasing Artem about your two doctorate degrees as though that is a sign of superiority?”
Vyn hung his head, his cheeks redder than she’d ever seen. “Y-yes.”
“Good. You may return to the table.”
With that, Vyn picked up his chair and returned it to the table.
Now, with all four boys at the table, Rosa returned to her seat, taking up her documents to quietly review.
The meeting went exceptionally smoothly after that. All boys were quiet unless necessary, and all conversation was curt, relevant, and to the point. If anything, the meeting ended earlier than normal.
Now, time to stir the pot and see if these boys had learned anything.
“Before I head out, I forgot to do this earlier.” She went up to Luke, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She felt him stiffen, sucking in a tense breath before tentatively returning her hug.
“As any loving guardian does,” she began, sliding out of Luke’s embrace before going to Vyn to give him a hug. He also stiffened under her touch, his arms hovering up as though debating whether or not to return it. “They are sure to give reassurance after a punishment.”
Then, it was Artem’s turn. Despite clearly expecting it, her senior positively froze, his arms glued to his side and not moving.
“So I love all of you, okay?” she said, moving to Marius. He was the most accepting of the hug, returning it after only a moment of hesitation.
“Now,” she finished, sliding away from a now pouting Marius. “I’m going to leave. I hope we can continue this behavior pattern during the next meeting and every meeting from her on. Good night, boys.”
And with that, she left the room. Rather, she pretended to leave. She exited down the hallway, but instead of leaving, she opened and closed the door before silently tiptoeing back towards the room to be within earshot of the open door.
“It’s a trap,” she heard Luke say. “That hug meant nothing. We say nothing unless it’s related to a case. Or she will do that again, and we all know there's nothing we can do to stop her. Understood?”
“Understood,” came the chorus.
"Also," Luke continued. "We never speak of this again."
"Agreed."
Rosa couldn’t help but smile. Those were her boys.
If this is slightly OOC, I do not care. This came into my head after reading @alstroemeriadissonance’s “NXX goes to Hell” story, reminding me of a headcanon I had written. And now it’s a story. Enjoy. Or not. XD
...
Rosa had warned them. Multiple times.
But now, she had had it up to here with Marius’s snotty childishness, Artem’s superiority complex, Vyn’s two doctorate degrees, and Luke… well, generally fanning the flames.
Now, she was standing at the NXX round table, four sets of wide eyes staring at her in fear after she had slammed a book on the table.
Slowly, she smiled, something tense covered in false sweetness. “Boys,” she purred, putting on her best innocent tone. “Stand up for me, yes?”
Luke was the first to do as told. Marius soon followed. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the only word that managed to fall from his lips was, “Missy…?”
“Yes, Mr. Von Hagen,” she asked, her tone dripping with artificial sugar to cover her boiling anger. “Do you have a question you think would be wise to ask?”
His eyes were wide, and Rosa watched the color drain from his face as he struggled for words. “N-no.”
She nodded, then looked towards her boss and the resident psychologist who were both slowly standing from their seats.
Without a word, she took Luke’s chair, dragging it across the room, the legs squealing against the floor as she did. Once she got to the corner of the room, she swung it around and dropped it so it faced the corner.
With that fake grin still in place, she then took Marius’s chair, dragging it squealing across the floor to another corner of the room and setting it up the same way. Next came Artem’s, followed by Vyn’s.
No boy dared say a word.
When she returned to the table, her smile was more or less real now as she stood tall, squared her shoulders, and clasped her hands in front of her. “Now," she began, surveying the other four members. "Would any one of you like to guess why I took your chairs? Or would you just like me to tell you?”
For once, her boss looked speechless. Marius was sporting a similar expression, although there was definitely more fear lingering in his eyes. Luke, for his part, hung his head the way he did when he knew he was in trouble, just like he had years ago when her mother had last scolded him.
Lastly, Vyn looked rather sheepish. “Have we done something to upset you, Rosa?”
“Upset? Me? Noooo,” she drawled out. “No no no. No, hehe. Why would you think that, Dr. Richter?”
“You seem to be rather tense and—”
“Vyn, for the love of everything good and holy in this world, shut up,” Luke cut in.
“Detective Pearce,” Rosa said, turning her tense smile on her oldest childhood friend, emphasis on the ‘child’. “You seem to have discovered the conclusion. Would you like to share it?”
Luke, NSB agent who faced down some of the hardest criminals with a sinister smile, looked rather like a kicked puppy at the moment who could barely meet her gaze. “Would you like us to sit in those chairs?”
“Yes, Detective Pearce,” she answered. “I would like you to sit in those chairs, like the quartet of naughty kindergarteners you are. And once you’ve thought about the reason I have asked you to sit in those chairs facing the corners, I will let you boys out of your time-out.”
“Rosa,” Artem finally spoke up, his face red and voice surprisingly unsteady. “Is this truly necessary?”
She turned her gaze on her superior. “I don’t know, Mr. Wing. Is it? After all, I’ve only asked you boys to stop your incessant pissing matches, oh, how many times now? Wait.”
With her finger in the air, the universal sign to ‘wait’, she canted her hips, exuding all the attitude she possibly could as she whipped out her phone and opened up the notes. “One hundred and twenty-seven times. With, let me state for the record, twelve of those times at the Pax Island, seven of those times in Skadi, and ten of those times in Egypt.” With that, she put her phone down on the table with a nice thwack and turned her tense smile back on the boys. “So, I do not know, Mr. Wing. What do you think? Is it fair of me to ask you boys to reflect on your piss-poor behavior when it has affected the inner workings of NXX?”
Artem now officially hung his head in shame, his cheeks bright red and unable to look Rosa in the eyes.
“Has it truly been that many times?” Vyn dared to ask, his eyes holding a modicum of surprise.
“Isn’t it shocking, Dr. Richter?” she shot back at him. “How much the psychologist doesn’t listen when that’s at least fifty percent of his job?”
Marius snorted.
“Do you find something funny, Mr. Von Hagen?”
“No, Missy.”
“No what?”
“No ma’am!”
“Better. Now, before I tell you all to sit your respective pain-in-the-asses down in your chairs, do you have any questions or comments you’d like to make?”
Luke cleared his throat. “How long would you like us to sit in the chairs?”
“A very good question, Detective Pearce.” With that, she pulled out her phone. “I’ll set a timer for five minutes. It will restart if any of you boys get up out of your seats. Anything else?”
“Surely there can be another method to be considered,” Vyn suggested.
“Vyn,” Marius hissed.
“And what could that possibly be, Dr. Richter?”
“I’m gonna go take a seat,” Luke said, stepping away from the table.
“I will, too,” Marius agreed.
Leaving Vyn and a tentative Artem standing at the table with Rosa.
“Please,” Rosa challenged. “I’m waiting.”
“I simply do not believe that this would be the best way to go about tackling the issue. I do believe we owe you an apology, however—”
“Dr. Richter,” Rosa said, cutting him off and siding up to him. That artificially sweet smile was still stretched across her face. “Do you know what I think? I think that Momma Richter has never held Little Vyn by the arm, helpfully guided him over to a seat, and sat his petulant ass down in a chair before instructing him to think about his actions. But don’t worry, Dr. Richter. There most certainly is a first time for everything. And if you think. for one moment. that I. do not possess the ability. to physically drag you over and put your ass in that chair… you are wrong.”
With that, Artem walked away from the table and over to his chair.
The only remaining man standing now hung his head, his cheeks redder than a tomato.
“So, Doctor. Rich. ter,” Rosa slowly ground out. “What would you like to do?”
Without a word, he went and sat in the remaining empty chair in the corner.
“What good boys,” Rosa chirped, setting a phone alarm for five minutes before sitting down in her chair and picking up a document.
And a minute in, she had an epiphany. She had just put four grown-ass men in a time-out.
She had just put FOUR GROWN-ASS MEN in time-out.
And not any grown-ass men, she realized, but a highly skilled state agent, the head of the Pax company, a senior attorney, AND a renowned psychologist.
She had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing.
Five minutes later, the timer went off.
“Do not get out of your chairs,” she commanded, watching as all four men slowly sat back down in their seats.
Holy shit, this was the most powerful she’d ever felt.
First, she walked over to Luke, siding up next to him and leaning against the wall. “Detective Pearce,” she began. “Why do you think I put you in time-out?”
Luke’s face turned red, but he still managed to shoot her an impressive pair of puppy dog eyes. “Rosaaa,” he quietly whined.
“Detective Pearce,” she quietly repeated. “Why do you think I put you in time-out today?”
He hung his head. “Because…”
A quiet sniggering came from the side.
“Mr. Von Hagen!" she said, spinning on her heel to face him. "How kind of you to volunteer while Detective Pearce gets his thoughts together.”
She watched Marius’s face blanch as she marched over to him. It filled her with more pride than she cared to admit.
“Mr. Von Hagen,” she said, leaning against the wall beside him. “Why do you think I put you in time-out?”
Marius hung his head in silence for a short moment. “Because… we didn’t listen to you?”
“That’s a good start,” she said. “Why do you think I put you specifically in time-out?”
His mouth moved but no words came out.
Which, she realized, was fair. These boys probably had no idea of the particular behaviors that had landed them in time-out other than they constantly were at each other’s throats.
Specifically, over her. She wasn’t completely oblivious. These boys all fought for her attention in one way or another. They were like a bunch of brothers wanting mom to tell each of them they were the favorite. Except it was four adult men fighting over little old her. It felt kinda like brothers fighting over who knew what was best for their little sister. Which had become mentally exhausting.
“Do you think it’s because you whine for my attention?” she asked.
Marius looked up at her, his face suddenly turning bright red.
“And pick on Vyn in particular, harassing him because he’s hard on you as his student? And because you wave around your status as both the head of Pax and as ‘King’ to try and get your way?”
He hung his head. “Yes, ma’am.”
She grinned. “Good job,” she said, her voice even. “You may take your chair back to the table.”
Without daring to look her in the eye, Marius dragged his chair back to the table, a sad little whine ringing through the room as the legs scraped across the floor.
She then walked back over to Luke. “Detective Pearce,” she said, leaning against the wall. “Do you know why I put you specifically into a time-out?”
He grimaced. “Be… cause… I…”
“Is it because you pull the ‘Rosa’s best friend’ card to try and rile up the other boys?”
Luke’s face turned red as he coughed.
“And because you try to boast about your skills, specifically about technology and survival?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You may take your chair back to the table.”
Also unable to look Rosa in the eye, Luke picked up his chair as silently as he could and walked back to the table.
Now came the two stubborn ones. Rosa took a deep breath before walking across the room to Artem. His face was already red, and he couldn’t so much as spare a glance in her direction.
“Mr. Wing. Do you know why I put you specifically in time-out?”
“Is it because I participate in these spats?” he asked.
She’d give him points for effort. “Maybe it’s because you wave your expertise around? And because you specifically engage in battles of knowledge with Vyn? And maybe it’s because you try to be an overprotective dad to me under the guise of being my work superior?”
He grunted, covering his mouth with his hand. “Y-yes.”
“Good. You may return to the table.”
He didn’t move; she walked away first. It was when her back was turned that she heard him pick up his chair and take it back to the table.
Now, to Vyn.
“Dr. Richter,” she said, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. Unlike the others, he was the first to sit tall and meet her gaze, even though his cheeks were a little pink. “Do you know why I put you specifically into time-out?”
“Upon reflection, I do engage in these arguments with wit.”
“You do,” she continued. “Purposefully to show off your knowledge in an attempt to impress me. Do you know what else?”
His expression faltered.
“Could it have to do with holding your elite status over the other’s heads?” she continued. “Or teasing Artem about your two doctorate degrees as though that is a sign of superiority?”
Vyn hung his head, his cheeks redder than she’d ever seen. “Y-yes.”
“Good. You may return to the table.”
With that, Vyn picked up his chair and returned it to the table.
Now, with all four boys at the table, Rosa returned to her seat, taking up her documents to quietly review.
The meeting went exceptionally smoothly after that. All boys were quiet unless necessary, and all conversation was curt, relevant, and to the point. If anything, the meeting ended earlier than normal.
Now, time to stir the pot and see if these boys had learned anything.
“Before I head out, I forgot to do this earlier.” She went up to Luke, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She felt him stiffen, sucking in a tense breath before tentatively returning her hug.
“As any loving guardian does,” she began, sliding out of Luke’s embrace before going to Vyn to give him a hug. He also stiffened under her touch, his arms hovering up as though debating whether or not to return it. “They are sure to give reassurance after a punishment.”
Then, it was Artem’s turn. Despite clearly expecting it, her senior positively froze, his arms glued to his side and not moving.
“So I love all of you, okay?” she said, moving to Marius. He was the most accepting of the hug, returning it after only a moment of hesitation.
“Now,” she finished, sliding away from a now pouting Marius. “I’m going to leave. I hope we can continue this behavior pattern during the next meeting and every meeting from her on. Good night, boys.”
And with that, she left the room. Rather, she pretended to leave. She exited down the hallway, but instead of leaving, she opened and closed the door before silently tiptoeing back towards the room to be within earshot of the open door.
“It’s a trap,” she heard Luke say. “That hug meant nothing. We say nothing unless it’s related to a case. Or she will do that again, and we all know there's nothing we can do to stop her. Understood?”
“Understood,” came the chorus.
"Also," Luke continued. "We never speak of this again."
"Agreed."
Rosa couldn’t help but smile. Those were her boys.
You ever stare at a word too long and it suddenly looks wrong to you. like you'll just be rereading your work and all of a sudden the word looks misspelled or just flat out wrong and you know you spelled it right and you sit there and stare at it but the more you stare at it the weirder it looks?
Literally me whenever i write smthn with "At least" like r they supposed to be in one word like atleast or what THE AT LEAST PROBLEM IS SO SIMPLE YET DISTURBING I HAVEN'T EVEN BOTHERED TO LOOK IT UP😭😭
A/N: I honestly dunno how weddings work ngl i just searched some basic stuff on google amd just slapped it here😭😭 ALSO aint the song 'The French Library' a bit too sad sounding or smthn like– BUT IVE ALREADY WRITTEN IT SO THERES NO TURNING BACK (gonna make another fic based on this music tho)
Vyn Richter stands in front of a crowd of friends. Luke, Marius and Artem were also seated not so far away from him. Vyn had always been the kind of man that could keep his composure even in the most nerve-wracking situations yet, the sight of you walking down the aisle makes him such a nervous wreck. Your dress drags a bit on the floor. You hold a bouquet full of Roses, Freesia and orchid flowers. Your dress had a lace design from your shoulders to your wrists. The dress wasn't overly designed though. Only enough to satisfy you and Vyn's tastes. Vyn had never felt so nervous his whole life. He hasn't witnessed such sights that makes his hands shake from the overflowing emotions until he sees that smile on your face. He didn't know when or how but somehow, tears had started to slowly drip down from his golden eyes which are full of astonishment. He rubs his eyes a bit but he was stopped. He looks at his left to see his father standing right next to him. "I believe that you wouldn't want to miss this once in a lifetime moment now." his father tells the weeping man in front of him. Vyn gives him a slight nod as he tries to gather his composure back and he stands straight once more waiting for his beloved wife. The piece, 'The French Library' rings loundly.
Starting from a slow and calm sound slowly growing into something more—magestic. The music quickly turns lively when you arrived earlier. You're already halfway to the walk. As soon as the lively part of the music turns back into its original slow and steady one, you're already standing in front of Vyn. The time of the vows starts. Vyn starts first. His vows starting from how much of a naive boy he thought he was for needing the help of Luke and Marius to ask you into something as simple as a dance. His vows reach the middle stage. How he felt while he was in a younger stage of relationship with you—how absolutely lucky he think he is for even having you together with him. He never, once in a million years, have ever thought that one day, just a simple dance with you—just a simple talk—just a small love blooming in his heart would ever could lead to you having a huge impact in his life and vice-versa. He ends his vows with how he promises to keep you away from harm. "Even if I do believe that we shouldn't keep promises when we aren't certain of the things that fate might throw on our way, I still wish to give you my promises. Therefore I, Vyn Richter, take (Name) to be my wedded wife whom I vow to protect, love and make the happiest woman here on earth. 'till death do us apart, or if fate ever goes on our way. I ask you to give your trust to me and we'll guide each other in this maze called life." he finishes with his eyes shining as bright as the stars above, those lovely golden eyes brimming with happiness. He spent a lot of time organizing the wedding with you. The sleepless nights he spent did take a toll on him but the realozation that you're both now safe together washes all his worries and exhaustion.
A/N: they said that wedding vows r supposed to be at least a minute long but FUCK THE RULES—
"Even the most inseparable people has to let go of each other"
Luke x reader
Gender Neutral
Genre: Angst
Warnings: None(????) (but like Luke dies here so—)
A/N: I found a vid of lin manuel miranda(?) say the story behind the song Dos Oruguitas and I couldn't help myself😭😭
Spending time with Luke was never boring. His smile just casually lighting up every part of your heart. That feeling was always comforting. You remember that one time as children, you and Luke spot two caterpillars snacking on some leaves while you both were relaxing under a tree. Being the curious little kids you were, you both get a bit closer to see the caterpillars a bit clearer. Even as time passed, the caterpillars never left their spot. Always just crawling on a leaf eith each other. You make a comment on how adorable they looked and wished that they both stay together until they've became butterflies. "Yeah, I wish so too. But I heard that two caterpillars can't fit in a single cocoon so they have to leave after some time." Luke explains slowly the situation. You get a bit sad about it but you just continued on with your day. "You're not going to leave me too, right?" "Of course not! Luke Pearce the knight has to stay by your side to protect you." Luke takes your hand onto his. Two children, holding hands, cheeks flushed due to the happiness and probably also because of the sunset.
More years had passed, Luke's promise eventually gets forgotten as you sat inside the attic near the window patiently waiting for your dear friend to come home. He promised you that before his birthday, he'll come home from abroad to spend his birthday with you like how you usually do. But now, you're still sat beside the window. Face burried in your knees and the sound of crickets echo throughout the night. The sun has come down and moon creeps up slowly onto the sky. At this point, you don't know if you should be mad at him or worry. But honestly, at this very moment, you feel both. Even more time passes. The clock silently ticks and the world around you changes. You haven't heard a single word from your dear friend and you've somehow gotten used to that. You sulk, sitting on the floor, staring outside to see the countless stars taking over the sky. Even if time had long gone and many things have changed, you remain patient waiting for him like a puppy waiting for its human to come home from 'work'.
Your wishes and prayers were, luckily, heard and now, he's back in your life. Your dear friend has now come home. You know what, you have to stop convincing yourself that you only see him as your 'Dear Friend'. You see him as the love of your life. The one blessing that you were given, the angel that guides you through life. Your lover. You're both now sat at the couch, both covered under multiple blankets, holding each other's hands while Luke's free hand holds the remote and you hold the bucket of popcorn. It's probably already past 12 and Luke should've scolded you for sleeping late but you both couldn't stop yourselves from watching the movie. It was such a romantically sad movie about two lovers getting separated for the sake of change. "D'you remember that time as kids where we saw those 2 caterpillars?" You nod in agreement and follow it with "I wonder how they are now. Hopefully they became beautiful butterflies." As soon as you finish talking, you put some popcorn into your mouth. Luke doesn't respond but instead, he hugs you. He pulls you close to him. And closer. And even closer. Your face is now burried in his neck as he wraps both of his hands around you tightly but just enough for you to be able to breathe. He kisses the top of your head and you magically fall into deep slumber.
You couldn't see anything but black. There wasn't anything else around until you see a bright light in the distance. It looked like—a lamp? No. You take a closer look. It was someone. They were glowing. They stood still in the distance with a bird hovering beside them. You walk even closer to them until you see that hair that had always been familiar to you. It was Luke. You didn't know when but somehow, you're now running towards him. You were merely inches away from him as you reach out to him. You reach for his hand—the hand that's always been your source of heat. You hold his hand expecting the heat from it to spread to your body but it was cold. It was almost like he was frozen. Luke turns his head to you but as soon as you reach out once more to cup his cheeks, he disappears. Slowly turning into dust. As the dust flies up, you see pieces of you and Luke's memories in them. As they reach even higher to the sky, the glow even brighter. They gather in one place and they project the moment that's most precious to you. That moment where you married the love of your life. You look at it intently as you watch Luke slip in the silver ring onto your finger. You look at yourself with shock as you see tears flowing down your eyes. You didn't remember that happening. Luke reaches one of his hands to your face, slowly caressing your flushed cheeks. You lean in closer to his touch. As you stood there watching the events unfold, you feel yourself also reaching a hand to the cheek that he'd touched, slowly caressing it, trying to relive the moment.
As both of your faces gets closer, the projection starts cracking. The memories appeared like glass, slowly breaking apart then colliding and exploding. There was a second where the surroundings were so bright, nle going back into the dark room you were in. Realization slowly hits you as you drop onto your knees. Tears forming down your face as you feel something on your cheek. You wake up. Scanning the room to see the familiar white ceiling, white walls, the various wires around the room, the beep sound indicating life and the sound of the breathing beside you. You lock eyes with Luke who is now lying in bed, being held alive by an oxygen tank or so. His smile wasn't as cheerful as before but he was trying. His lips now chapped and more pale, his past lively coral eyes now slowly losing its shine. His hand beside your face, his thumb slowly moving. You hold onto his hand and tears start to pour out even faster than before. "Please, stop crying. Your crying face isn't something I wanna see before I go. I want to see you smiling as bright as you used to years ago." He requests. You thought he was ridiculous for saying something like that, making him look like he's about to leave you again—for good. In a hurried attemlt to smile, you lips slightly quiver as you present him a smile. One lacking their usual happiness and courage. You stay still like that for a bit until his hands finally loosen. Your thoughts begin to cloud. Thousands of what-ifs surround your head. "kindly leave the room." You feel something pulling on your arm. You ignore it and let it lead you. "Please stay calm. We'll try our best." You stick your back onto the wall as you slowly slip down. "What's happened to 'em" "Lower your voice, idiot!" You look at the window one last time, seeing a bird fly. The scenery that the sunset gives never fails to leave such an impression.
"Heaven has gained yet another angel" You mutter as you then crouch and hurry your head onto your knees, hoping for him to come back home again for the last time.
Or is it your turn to go back to his loving arms?
"I love you"
A/N: Mhy needs to confirm that he lives istg😭 i mean like, the chances of him dying r low but never zero so like
