W2 Writes Stuff

To catalog, for rebloggery purposes, things written by W2/ladysisyphus/Whitney Bishop.

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou

If he saw one fucking bug, he was going to kill himself. One single fucking bug. An ant. Ants were bugs. Weren’t they? Fuck. He was regretting every decision he’d ever made. Everything was moving. The ground was wet. The mud was staining his shoes. Everything was wet. Why was it fucking wet? Why did everything even vaguely connected to the Sylvan Kingdom have to be wet and dirty and slimy and full of goddamn fucking bugs—

The guard wasn’t there one moment and was the next. She appeared as a breeze blew through the branches, shifting all the patterns of shadow and sunlight. Zil, with great dignity, did not shriek with alarm. He hated nature so fucking much. He waited for the guard to give some kind of greeting, or perhaps a warning, but her leaf-green face was impassive. By the Howling fucking Stars, she was going to make him say it. He took a deep breath. “Zilarioth Full-Cloudborn, of the First Fayn of the High Elves of Brightglade, Bloodbound to the Crystal Throne, Heir to the Waning Crescent of–“

“I know who you are,” the guard said, sounding unimpressed.

Well, thank fuck for that; she’d just saved them at least five minutes of formalities. “Fine. You-know-who-I-am requests an audience with your Prince Liliune.” Zil folded his arms across his chest, trying to look imposing in his bespoke suit, which was admittedly difficult to do while barely coming up to the guard’s shoulder and also being on high alert in case a fucking bug decided to land on him. “Unless you want me to read you his résumé first.”

The skeptical look on the guard’s face didn’t go anywhere. What, was she upset because she’d been set to guard the last remaining wooded wilds of the Bay Area? She should be grateful she was meeting him. It was probably enrichment for her. It’d keep her brain from turning back into a tree trunk, not that it seemed to have progressed far in the first place. Good help was hard enough to find on a mortal timeline; on an immortal one, practically impossible.

The guard took in a deep breath. For a moment, Zil was afraid she was going to ask him to wait there, and he was wavering on pitching an absolute fit or just turning around and leaving the way he’d come in, fuck everything. But no, as she exhaled, she stood aside. Behind her was a well-worn path that hadn’t been there before. At least she’d had the sense not to let her foolish stubbornness go on too long. He wished this ancient magical territory had an app. He’d give her two stars.

Zil spared a single haughty nod of acknowledgment as he walked past her and into the Green. He hadn’t let a single wrinkle of worry show on his face this whole time, and he wasn’t about to start now. Unless there was a bug. Then all bets were off.

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 121: The Great Outdoors

[ladysisyphus]

Everyone! Stop what you're doing! This is me! This is my story! I wrote it! It is about a little guy who is the fucking worst! Scroll back up! Read that excerpt up there! Don't you hate him? Don't you want to know what he's up to? Sure you do! Click this link! Read the rest of it!

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou (主教)

Dear Edward,

I received your latest round of edits with great interest. Astonishing interest. Unprecedented interest, in fact, because the edits themselves had no precedent either. In the seventeen years I’ve been publishing with Strauss & Baker — oh, I’m so sorry, I forget that you’re BillionsOfBooks4U now, how clumsy of me to misremember the recent acquisition — I have never received edits of this particular kind.

Of course I appreciate all the typos caught and foolishly convoluted sentences pared down to size over the years, and I will entirely concede that the decision to cut the stepmother plot from How Fails the Heartless Hind and develop it more fully in Jackdaw’s Last Crossing was the correct one. But you see, those were Ursula’s decisions, and I trusted (and still do trust) Ursula’s editorial opinions implicitly and explicitly. And yet, our fair Ursula took that ever-so-generous semi-involuntary offer of early retirement that accompanied the aforementioned merger, leaving her with no more creative input on this novel I am contracted to provide.

Which leaves you with me, and me with you.

I won’t bother with a full rewrite of the manuscript, especially since there appeared to be no objections centered around most of the content depicted. No, all that is acceptable and even marketable these days (provided of course that the individuals involved in such acts are not under the age of eighteen and do not even so much as mention a genital during it). I have, however, done my best to address here the five scenes that seem to have fallen least in line with the standards for whatever your expensive focus-group-obsessed business-school-graduate consultants believe is — and I’ll use your words here, so we have no misunderstandings — “marketable content”.

I hope you find these substitutions suitable. If you check the comment history, you will find that I have heeded all of your notes and gone out of my way to make sure that every single one of your concerns has been addressed thoroughly.

Finally, my thoughts about a content warning? Sure, you should feel free to warn that my book has content, in that it contains things. It contains some words, even a few naughty ones. It contains ideas, though fewer now than it used to. But maybe more important is what it doesn’t contain, which is a magical fetter that forces a person to keep reading even once they’ve decided they do not wish to continue. Every one of my books, guaranteed, contains the ability to close it at any point. That’s not even a premium feature. You get that for free.

Regards,

Cameron de la Rosa Bluesky | Substack | Instagram | Goodreads Hugo-winning author of “Time and Dame Blackshire” and How Fails the Heartless Hind represented by Strauss & Baker (2009-2026)

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 120: [REDACTED]

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou illustrated by Chiyohana Odile

“Guys, you gotta help me.” The pleading look in Jeff’s eyes was like that of the world’s saddest puppy, begging to be released from the bath. “You gotta.”

Lucas looked at Arsène, who looked back at him with a frown. Jeff was a great guy. He’d done a lot for both of them. A kindly veteran, he’d taken them under his wing as they’d arrived as rookies, showing them the ropes and keeping an eye out for them for the two years since. He was the one they knew to go to if they needed anything, or had any questions, or just wanted a kindly ear. It was true they owed him a lot. But there was big difference between owing someone a lot and … well, this.

“You know I’ve only got one more season in me, two or three at most,” Jeff said, rubbing his hand across his short-cropped hair. The blond strands hid it well, but Lucas could see more than a few silver streaks mixed in. Jeff wasn’t even forty yet, but middle-aged by any other metric was ancient in professional sports. “Let me do it here. Don’t make me uproot everything here at the end.”

Lucas exhaled through pursed lips. “And you and Carolina can’t…”

Jeff shook his head. “You should see the prenup her parents made us sign. It’s brutal. Even the most amicable, short-lived of divorces will fuck us both up pretty bad. Plus, you know, I kind of love her and everything?” Jeff gave a sheepish little shrug. It was true, too. Jeff was king of the Wife Guys.

Still, this was a bad idea. This was maybe the worst idea Lucas had ever heard, and he was trying to think of a kind way to say no when he heard Arsène’s perfect little Québécois accent say, “Okay.”

Lucas snapped his head so hard to the side he nearly gave himself a neck injury. “What?”

“Okay. It’s okay.” Arsène nodded, his expression serious. He extended his hand to Jeff. “Of course we’ll do it.”

Before Lucas could even get a sound out, Jeff brightened like a kid at Christmas. “Oh, you guys.” He grabbed Arsène’s hand and pumped it eagerly with gratitude, then grabbed Lucas’ and did the same, even as Lucas stood there feeling like he’d just gotten run over by a truck. Or maybe a zamboni, given that Lucas spent way more time on the ice than he did on any street. “You guys are the best. I love you both. I owe you so much. Carolina and me, we owe you forever. I’m going to call Kevin now.” As soon as he dropped Lucas’ hand, Jeff was ringing the team manager to tell him the trade was off.

Thank heavens there was a bench on this side of the rink, because Lucas needed to sit down before he fell over. He plopped down hard, feeling a little … well, he wasn’t sure how he was feeling. His yoga instructors had always taught him to check in with his body. He felt like he was trying to check in, but all his messages were being left on read.

Arsène, on the other hand, was on his actual phone, scrolling down with a thoughtful look on his face. “What are, um.” Lucas swallowed hard. “What are you doing?”

“Looking up the fastest way to get married,” said Lucas’ as-of-sixty-seconds-ago fiancé.

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 119: Balls to the Wall

[whitachi]

I LoOoOooooOOOve a good Fake Marriage story and W2 absolutely killed it with this one. It has the exact correct ratio of husbands to hockey, which is to say lots of husbands and very little hockey. And some SMOKING smut at the end, of course! Read it! Tell her how good it is!

[w2writesstuff]

W2 Wrote Stuff in 2025

January

Forces of Habit [EVILIVE] EVILIVE rec post

February

The Day After the 655th Time Through the Time Loop [SSBB] 3 Will Be Free rec post

March

D.P. rec post

April

Life Size Ghosts (chapter 1) [D.P.] All Roads Lead to Rome [SSBB, co-written]

May

The Longest Day in Chang'an rec post

June

The Man With the Golden Syringe [SSBB]

July

One Equal Temper of Heroic Hearts [DMBJ/Mystic Nine] Life Size Ghosts (chapter 2) [D.P.] The Guest rec post Mr. Queen rec post

August

The Two-Body Problem [SSBB] Fangs of Fortune rec post and something else

September

Under the Microscope rec post

October

In the Hand of Khal Keresh [SSBB]

November

Guardian rec post

December

Justice in the Dark rec post

Wow! It wasn't much!

And it somewhat feels like cheating to add the rec posts, except that it was just way too depressing without them, so here we go.

I actually feel really good about a couple of these, though obviously that hasn't translated into momentum. But I'm going to try.

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou illustrated by 2013

On the train from the capital to Reshesk, Demetrius fell asleep, and as he did, he had a dream he did not understand.

He dreamed that he was standing in a wooded area, the trees thick around him. It was hard to tell from the dimness if he were surrounded by daybreak or twilight, or if the mid-day sun were simply no match for the canopy above him. He was standing because he felt he should be running, but he didn’t know to where. No direction seemed better or worse than any other. There was only forest on all sides, disappearing into the misty grey distance.

He wasn’t alone, though. That was why he needed to be running, except he felt certain that running wouldn’t save him. Whatever it was he needed to run from, it was faster and it knew the territory. He could catch glimpses of it, but only from the corner of his eye; by the time he turned to look, it would be gone.

His heart was pounding and his palms were sweating, but he wasn’t afraid. He could feel hot, terrified tears rolling down his cheeks, but he somehow wasn’t afraid. This was something else.

Intriguing, said a voice he felt instead of heard, in a language he didn’t understand. Delivered to my arms on the iron hooves of progress.

From the corner of his eye, he saw it again, and this time he could see that it had antlers — a huge, glorious rack dripping with moss and bleeding velvet. He could smell it, a wild scent that seeped from his lungs into the rest of his body. It wasn’t looking at him like he was prey. It was looking at him like he was bait.

Wait, weren’t those the same thing?

Come closer, the voice said, and as though pulled by puppet strings, he felt his bare foot step forward.

The sharp blast of the train horn as it pulled into the station brought Demitrius up from sleep so sharply that it shook the dream right from his brain. He would not think of it again until later, and by then it would be far too late to run.

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 117: The Old Ways

[whitachi]

This story is SO GOOD and you should read it. Absolutely exquisite body transformation horror, and also full of pornography. Read read read! Leave a comment that you liked it!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

enough about the timeloop I wanna hear about the post-timeloop.

person who just got over the horror of being trapped and settled into a comfortable routine...but then the timeloop breaks and they struggle to reacclimatize. person trapped in a loop for years who grieved their loved ones—who are suddenly back and acting like nothing happened (because for them nothing did). teenager who aged physically and mentally during the timeloop and now they're so much older than they're supposed to be. random strangers who were trapped in a loop together relieved to get away from each other at last, but feeling oddly bereft of familiar company. service worker who is pissed as fuck to have to go back to work

[whitachi]

May I recommend The Day After the 655th Time Through the Time Loop, which is exactly this concept.... and it's sexy!!!

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou (主教) illustrated by melanofly

“Oh my god,” Jacob groaned into the receiver, “can I please just talk to a person?”

The system on the other side made the little chime it did every time it needed to pause and parse his input. He held his breath with a hope that was dashed a second later when the automated voice started again: “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. You can say, ‘place an order’, ‘track my order’, ‘make a payment’, ‘change payment method’, or ‘leave a positive review’.”

Jacob let his head thunk hard against the kitchen table. Okay, if those were his only options… “Make a payment,” he tried, figuring money might be of interest enough to connect him with a human.

“Make a payment,” echoed the cheery little voice. A little jingle played. “How would you like to make your payment? You can say ‘direct account’, ‘cryptocurrency wallet’, ‘financing–‘”

“Financing!” There, that would definitely get an actual person on the other end of the line.

A different chime sounded. “We’re connecting you with our financing agents. To better serve you, please have your user account and order number ready. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until our next available service representative is available.”

Jacob rolled his eyes. Whoever wrote this shit hadn’t been paying any attention, which seemed about par for the course for whatever shitty customer service firm the company had outsourced all its calls to. Not that most people probably listened to it anyway, but he was currently being made to listen to it, and as such, he was grumpy.

On the other side of the room, two bodies sat together on his couch, watching him with pleasantly neutral expressions. One of them was supposed to be here. One of them absolutely was not.

-

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 116: Binary

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou illustrated by 2013

Manny woke and something was different. For the first time in a painfully long time, something was different. It was Tuesday.

He knew this because it said so on the clock beside the bed, and also it wasn’t his clock. His clock had bright red numbers and no date. He felt like he had its bright and boxy 6:08 burned into his retinas. These numbers were a gentler blue, and its digits were a somewhat more graceful 7:14. The display also told him the temperature outside was 23 degrees F (-5 C), the sunrise would be at 7:22, and, maybe most importantly, it was Tuesday.

Manny just lay there for a minute, trying to catch his breath. He didn’t know what to do with a Tuesday. It had been so long.

Other things were different, too. The sheets were soft flannel against his skin, which was especially noticeable because he wasn’t wearing any clothes. There was someone in the bed on his other side, and that someone was starting to stir. Manny held his breath and cautiously rolled over.

It was Emmett. The bed was Emmett’s, and so was the clock, and so was the room, and so was the come still probably inside of him, because he had said to hell with condoms, because why the hell would someone bother with condoms when the day wasn’t going to matter? Not in a million years had he shut his eyes expecting that the next time he’d wake up, it wouldn’t be to 6:08 and his boxers and college t-shirt and his own bed and his own room and Monday all over again.

Oh, and it was his birthday, finally. Happy birthday to him.

Emmett stirred a little, rubbing his hand across his face. He had the most darling face, the most kissable lips in the world. Manny had gotten very good at knowing just how Emmett liked those lips kissed. He opened his pretty brown eyes, blinked away the confusion of waking, and — oh thank God — smiled. “Hey,” he said sleepily, his hand for Manny’s face.

It was all Manny could do not to bolt like a startled deer. He let out a long, shaky exhale. “I, um.” He swallowed hard. “It’s Tuesday.”

---

Read the rest of this story in the full issue, Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 113: Nine to Five

[w2writesstuff]

And this was my story this round!

[w2writesstuff]

What W2 Wrote in 2024

tl;dr: Not much!

January

[crickets]

February

Ideal Pairing (@shousetsubangbang) Sexy times in a wine cellar. I wrote this in, what, a day? And it shows.

March

Nope.

April

Heavyweight (DMBJ, Pangzi/Wu Xie) A Pangzi Birthday Exchange 2024 piece for @scaredysap, with some romantic face-punching.

never love someone who could love someone like me (@shousetsubangbang) The only good thing I wrote for SSBB this year, and it's a long prequel to an even longer story.

May

The Part Where You Kiss Him (Legend of Fei, Li Yan/Yang Jin/Ying Hecong) This is that part, cute teen threesome and all.

A Ten-Course Banquet Made For (and With) Love (Otoko Meshi) I wrote this piece expecting a total of three people would appreciate it, and behold, that is what has happened. More people should watch this silly show, is what I'm saying.

June

Nothing Under My Skin But Light (Mystic Nine, Fo Ye/Er Ye) Mixing movie and show canons for sexy times backstage at the Changsha opera house.

The Jewel Thief (Blood of Youth, Xiao Se/Wuxin) Xiao Se is the party bicycle, and it's Wuxin's turn for a somewhat more romantic ride.

Odysseus Didn’t Know What He Was Missing (@shousetsubangbang) I mean, you can't say I didn't go dirty with this one. It's pretty much just solid homoeroticism start to finish.

July

The Other End of the Line (Heaven and Hell: Soul Exchange, Hidaka/Mochizuki) This was unfortunately the point where I burned out on Small Fandom Summer '24, but at least I got some uncomfortably sexy bodyswap porn in there.

August

Paint the Town Vermilion (@shousetsubangbang) A tale about unintentionally going undercover in a gay bar, which was saved by having a cute narrator, but was again very rushed.

September

Nada.

October

Something Else (@shousetsubangbang) A tale about meeting a familiar stranger at a bar. Guess what? This was rushed too! Are you seeing a pattern?

November

Zip.

December

Nothing.

So yeah, this is the first SSBB issue I've missed in years. I tried, I really did, but it seemed like idea after idea just flamed out while thing after thing piled on elsewhere. And in the end, there wasn't anything left to say.

Fingers crossed that 2025 will be gentler on me, and I will in turn be gentler on myself.

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou (主教)

“Easy, pal,” I said, giving him a pat on the back. “Take it slow. We got you.” He had the brightest green eyes I’d ever seen, and believe me, I’ve seen plenty. They blinked at me once, twice, and then he started coughing. I held him forward a little so he could spit up the rest of what was in his lungs on the deck. Look, coming back from almost drowning is hardly a dignified process. He was doing his best.  Luke passed me a canteen of fresh water, which I put to our visitor’s lips. He drank gratefully — a little too gratefully, in fact, which meant I had to pull it back. He made the cutest little sound of disappointment, but to no avail. I’m fairly well-practiced at saying no. “Take it slow,” I told him again, never taking my hands off him. “We just got plenty of water out of you. Let’s take our time putting it back in, hm?” He had a sweet face, as chubby and pink as the rest of him, freckled from exposure to the sun. There’d been a strange little fog that had rolled in earlier, one of those curious little nautical things that just seem to happen from time to time, but it was gone now and the sky and sea alike couldn’t be clearer or calmer. The sun blazed high in the center of it, turning the surface of the water so bright you could hardly look at it. They made the word empyrean to talk about the sky on a day like this, did you know that? English-speakers use it to mean heavenly, which is fair, language being what it is and all, but in my home tongue it literally means on fire. “Where … what happened?” he managed. The words rasped a little out of his throat, parched from the salt water he’d swallowed. A little disorientation was normal in situations like this. He seemed like a sharp kid. He’d adapt.

from Issue 109: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

[w2writesstuff]

“Easy, pal,” I said, giving him a pat on the back. “Take it slow. We got you.” He had the brightest green eyes I’d ever seen, and believe me, I’ve seen plenty. They blinked at me once, twice, and then he started coughing. I held him forward a little so he could spit up the rest of what was in his lungs on the deck. Look, coming back from almost drowning is hardly a dignified process. He was doing his best.  Luke passed me a canteen of fresh water, which I put to our visitor’s lips. He drank gratefully — a little too gratefully, in fact, which meant I had to pull it back. He made the cutest little sound of disappointment, but to no avail. I’m fairly well-practiced at saying no. “Take it slow,” I told him again, never taking my hands off him. “We just got plenty of water out of you. Let’s take our time putting it back in, hm?” He had a sweet face, as chubby and pink as the rest of him, freckled from exposure to the sun. There’d been a strange little fog that had rolled in earlier, one of those curious little nautical things that just seem to happen from time to time, but it was gone now and the sky and sea alike couldn’t be clearer or calmer. The sun blazed high in the center of it, turning the surface of the water so bright you could hardly look at it. They made the word empyrean to talk about the sky on a day like this, did you know that? English-speakers use it to mean heavenly, which is fair, language being what it is and all, but in my home tongue it literally means on fire. “Where … what happened?” he managed. The words rasped a little out of his throat, parched from the salt water he’d swallowed. A little disorientation was normal in situations like this. He seemed like a sharp kid. He’d adapt. I gave him another little drink from the canteen. This time he let me control the pace and didn’t object when I decided he was done. Good boy; he was learning. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you remember?” We could piece it together, together.

Here's my new story for Shousetsu Bang*Bang Issue 109: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea! It has handsome men and orgies on a yacht! And a narrator that was very fun to write.

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou (主教) illustrated by The Winter Cynic

another round of soulmates are stupid I love you on purpose

-

She didn’t look real to Jo at first; between the hazy colored lights that pulsed in time with the music and the oncoming storm of whatever was in those pills Dominick had sold her, Jo’s first thought on seeing her was, I’m looking at a ghost.

She was solid, though, or solid enough as she sat down on the ratty old couch next to Jo, and her knees bumped against Jo’s. She had long legs, made even longer by the high-heeled platform shoes she was wearing. When she stood up, her head must hit the ceiling, Jo though, or maybe that was the pills talking again. They made everything seem close, almost claustrophobically so. But Jo wasn’t claustrophobic. She wasn’t anything-phobic. A phobia was a fear and she wasn’t afraid of fucking anything.

Not even of this creature, who had nails painted the same red as her ill-fitting dress. It looked like it wasn’t even her dress, like she’d borrowed it for the evening. Maybe that was what made her look like a ghost, the part where she looked like she was just visiting the skin she was in. She had two huge brown eyes framed by red eyeliner. “Hi,” she said, her red lips forming the syllable. Maybe it was her favorite color. Maybe it was the only color she owned.

“Hi,” Jo said back. Her bones felt like they’d been replaced with mashed potatoes. On instinct, her fingers drifted to the knife in the pocket of her ratty cargo pants. Never leave home without it. That was a lesson she’d learned a little too late.

“This is my first time,” said the woman, glancing around the room. Bodies twirled and staggered around them in equal measure, all the bright young things here to get trashed off their asses at one of the south-of-South-Street warehouse parties. Jo didn’t even know who was throwing it tonight, if anybody was throwing it at all. Maybe these things were like natural disasters, popping up unbidden and unstoppable. Maybe they were nobody’s fault.

Jo nodded. “Okay.” She didn’t know what to say to that. There wasn’t a greeting or secret handshake. Jo barely remembered the first time she’d found herself here. After her parents had kicked her out, was all she could say for the timing. So, any time in the last two years. They were all a blur anyway.

The woman in red raised one knobby hand and held it out to Jo, not like a handshake, but like she expected Jo to kiss her knuckles, like she was some medieval princess. “I’m Winnie.”

[ladysisyphus]

And here it is! My contribution to the latest SSBB issue!

soulmates are stupid I love you on purpose is a story about a guy with a shitty soulmate, who learns to love himself again, aided in part by the not-so-tender care of two mean lesbians. never love someone who could love someone like me is the story of how said mean lesbians hooked up in the first place.

@theburningking illustrated it, too! Behold, the feral, crazy splendor that is Winnie and Jo.

[w2writesstuff]

Sometimes you fight an idea for weeks and finally wrestle it to the mat! ...And sometimes you fight it, realize it's not going down, concede defeat, and slap something else together at the last minute instead.

Anyway, here's a little story -- and I do mean little -- about some secret smutty nonsense in a wine cellar.

[w2writesstuff]

What W2 Wrote in 2023

Considering that I'm prrrrrobably not going to manage to put out anything else this year, yeah, let's do a roundup now while I've got a moment. (Note: Only includes fun stuff; no professional shit here.)

January

I can't even remember January. Nothing happens in Januaries.

February

to the beat of your heart, ch. 3 (MDZS) The ongoing adventures of a self-indulgent happy-ending everybody-lives-and-also-bones WangXian canon-divergent AU; a joint project between my wife and me.

It’s Hard to Say “I Do” When You Don’t (@shousetsubangbang) Original story about a guy whose long-time crush asks him to pretend to be his boyfriend at a family wedding. Fake dating ensues.

March

Kintsukuroi (DMBJ) This heihua piece may be the best thing I've written all year? Look, I'm just very proud of how I made it exactly what I wanted it to be.

April

Head (@shousetsubangbang) This was a last-minute fill because the story I wanted to write failed to make itself writeable. Oh well! Still a funny and cute blowjob.

May

to the beat of your heart, ch. 4 (MDZS)

I want to be where all the stupid shit I say sounds so romantic and true (Guardian, WeiLan) Someday I will write a longer and more complicated series of Guardian sex pollen shenanigans, but until then, enjoy this one.

The Rightful Ruler (The Blood of Youth, Lei Wujie/Xiao Se) Still the only English-language story on AO3 for this pairing! Includes maybe the funniest line I wrote all year? You make the call!

The Doctor is In (Psych-Hunter) I know nobody watched Psych-Hunter, and with good reason, but I did, and I think Jiang Shuo should get to spy on the sexy gay doctor if he wants to.

June

A Single Explosion (DMBJ, Pangxi + Xiao Ge) For PingPang Week, with @pangzi in mind. Here's the missing part of Ultimate Note, where Pangzi takes care of Xiao Ge in the hospital.

Dog (The Disguiser, Ah Cheng/Ming Lou) This was actually written before I saw the post going around about how the sexiest thing one guy can be is another's dog. But it's true!

And I am green, and you are wood (DMBJ/Mystic Nine) Another exchange fic, where Liang Wan gets a chance to meet all of Zhang Rishan's old (boy)friends, especially Ba Ye.

Reverse Cowgirl (Not Gay as in Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, Queer as in Dude Ranch) (@shousetsubangbang) Is this the hottest thing I've ever written for SSBB? Might just be. Lesbian ranch hands recruit a city girl.

July

Stay (Beyond Evil, Oh Jihwa/Yu Jaeyi) Because you know what that show needed? Small town lesbians.

Little Spear (The Blood of Youth, Sikong Qianluo/Xiao Se) This show has some cute het, but how it would work in bed is another matter entirely; or, two gay people try to have straight sex.

动须相应 (live-action Hikaru no Go, Yu Liang/Shi Guang) It's hard to get much gayer than the actual show without adding explicit sex, so ... here you go! Post-series boyfriends.

One Quiet Night (Kingdom, Seobi + Lee Chang/Yeongshin) This is the other thing I'm really proud of, because it too came out pretty much exactly the way I envisioned it. A nurse, a prince, and a scrappy piece of shit more or less all fall in love.

August

Hooks in My Sides (Beyond Evil, JWDS) This certainly was the most popular thing I've written all year. It's unfortunately easy to write poor Juwon having a gay meltdown.

A World Made Up of Silver and Copper (@shousetsubangbang) A prince-and-pauper scenario, this time focusing on the prince's adventures in being mistaken for himself. (Hint: they are sexy.)

September

...Funny how the first months of each semester are usually a complete wash for me creatively, huh?

October

to the beat of your heart, ch. 5 (MDZS)

Over My Dead Body (@shousetsubangbang) Nothing like the romance of possessing a corpse only to find he's not actually dead. (Note to DMBJ fans: This should taste like heihua.)

November

A fair amount of November was spent writing something that I just couldn't finish for December's SSBB, once I realized how long it'd have to be and how little free time I had. Maybe next year!

December

Antivenin (@shousetsubangbang) A mean bisexual and an even meaner lesbian team up to distract their gay boss from his terrible crush.

-

And that's it! It always feels kind of weird to see it all gathered in one place, like ... wow, that's not nearly as much as I thought it was. But at the same time, it involves a couple of pieces I feel very good about, so overall I'm going to take the win.

The most fun I had was doing my Small Fandom Summer thing, where I wrote fic for fandoms that had <1000 English-language works on AO3. Maybe I'll do that again next year!

Anyway, if you do wind up reading something, especially the original stuff, thanks. A lot of this can be a very lonely process, especially when there's not much of a built-in audience. Saying you liked something makes me feel a little less like I'm screaming into the void.

Onward to 2024!

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou

-

He strode through the event like he was supposed to be there — which he was, or at least Jayes Tal was, and tonight he was Jayes Tal. Jayes Tal both existed and did not exist, in that he was not an actual person, but a mask that could be stepped behind as necessary. Tonight it was necessary, at the gala being held to showcase the imperial fleet’s newest mastermind-class vessel. Invitations had gone out to all the major players in the imperial economy, and as such, one had been addressed to Jayes Tal.

After an hour or so of his meandering about at an aloof distance from the rest of the partygoers, a waiter in a crisp black suit passed him with a tray of champagne flutes. One was only half-filled; he plucked that one from the batch without even so much as glancing the person carrying it. He placed his fingers under the base and felt the contours of a small, nearly flat square. With the slightest pressure, it stuck to his fingertips instead.

There. Now it was time to make a scene.

She was easy to find in any crowd; just follow the sounds of men talking about the most beautiful woman they’d ever seen. Surrounded by a dozen grinning gentlemen, she was laughing with delight every time one of them said something even vaguely witty. When she laughed, her ample bosom bounced enticingly over the plunging neckline of her dress. That was incentive enough for them to be as witty as they could be.

He broke his way into her circle of admirers with no hint of mirth on his face. When she saw him, her lovely face fell, her plum-painted lips inverting into an expression of dismay. She regained her smile a moment later, but it was diminished now, forced. “And to what do I owe this pleasure?” She had an accent neither high-class nor low-, one that vaguely sang of some far-off point of origin, but only just enough so as not to be placed.

“Julianna, please,” he said, his voice low. His eyes darted back and forth among the faces in the crowd, all of which were eyeing him with suspicion. “One dance, that’s all.”

That, she would laugh at, though the tone now had a sharp edge to it. “I’m afraid you have me mistaken for someone else,” she said with a haughty sneer. “Someone who would put up with this brutish treatment.”

He set his jaw at that. He was a powerful man; he wouldn’t let a woman speak to him like this, particularly not in front of his peers. “I am owed a dance,” he told her, his voice even with the calm that spoke of some great violence roiling beneath it. “And I collect what I am owed.”

“Is this cad bothering you?” asked a gruff career soldier with grey peppered throughout his thick black beard.

She sighed deeply and placed a hand on the concerned general’s forearm, letting it linger there long enough that he must have felt the warmth of her hand through the fine fabric of both his dress uniform coat and shirt beneath. “Don’t worry about it, my dear,” she said, then turned back to the dance-demanding intruder who had so rudely imposed on her time. “One dance, then? And you’ll let me be?”

He nodded and extended his hand. Of course he would. He kept his word. He was a gentleman.

-

[Read the rest of this story, other entries in the issue, and our complete back catalog of original queer erotic stories and art for free on the Shousetsu Bang*Bang Website]

[welcometothejianghu]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 5/7 Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

New tags to this chapter: Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Wedding Night, Scar Care, lots of people yelling

I'd say what this chapter is about, but the tags have got you covered.

...Also, we've broken the 100k mark? Yikes. Well, enjoy what is currently the longest chapter, at least until next chaper, which will be pretty much entirely porn. Something to look forward to!

[shousetsubangbang]

by shukyou

Eyes first. If I can get the eyes open, I’m good. If not, the meat’s too far gone, which means I have to try again, and I hate fucking trying again.

This time’s okay, though. Eyelids roll up surprisingly easy, even if it takes the eyes themselves a minute. That’s fine, though; everybody’s eyes are different, even if nobody but me knows it, because how many eyes do you get to see through in your life? Me, I’ve lost count. The soft jelly settles, the focal centers slowly pull themselves into place. I can hear the pupils contract against the light. Eyes blink once, twice. We’re in business.

Next are the lungs, which will do their thing on their own once I get them going, but first I’ve got to get them going. Take the chest and imagine making space inside it. Feel the tight cage of the torso begin to shift. Pull against the meaty strain of muscles and tendons against bone until they remember how this all moves. Stretch the damp sacks of lung tissue out until the tiny spaces in them slide wetly open, one by one. Open wide and the air comes in on its own. Close and it leaves. Nobody can make air do anything. You give it a space and it fills where it can. Kind of like me.

I don’t strictly need to breathe, but it’s weird how much people tend to notice when you don’t. Same with the heartbeat. You can leave a heart still, but the blood pools in places and drains from others. I have it on good authority that shit’s unsettling. Pun slightly intended.

Plus, when you ignore the basics, everything rots faster. And then, sooner than you wanted, you have to try again. And you know how I feel about trying again.

There’s a weird roar of distort in my head, something making the world look even more unreal than it usually does. Everything’s a little like staring at the sun. So that’s what did it. Probably not any one something so much as a bunch of somethings at once, some fancy-ass substance cocktail for rich people that costs more than a car and fucks you up for a long time. In this case, permanently. I’ll have to take it slow. No sitting up too fast; learned that lesson the hard way. Bit by bit, rolling over. Trying not to roll into the … I don’t even know what all is on the sheets. I need to hose it down. If you know anything about what death does to a body, you’ll know why.

Fortunately for me, it’s naked already. It’s fairly young, too, or maybe closer to middle-aged but well-preserved. Seems like all systems are intact, all senses more or less functional, all limbs under control and responsive. Not that it’s impossible to work with absences, but workarounds take concentration. Concentration means it’s easier to fuck up. And then we’re back to trying again.

[ladysisyphus]

Happy Halloween, everyone! This is my contribution to the latest issue of Shousetsu Bang*Bang, which is full of fun queer erotica, much of which is in the spirit of the season!

In lieu of giving a story summary, I'm going to quote an amazing comment I've received already:

incredible, this was gross and creepy and very funny and everything i didn’t know i wanted to read in a bodyswapping/bodysharing story.

If that piques your curiosity, give it -- and the other stories in the issue -- a go!