Home Sick or Sick of Home?
A recent article I wrote for my university publication:
There is a stage in everyone’s life where the question of leaving home enters every conversation, stalks most thoughts and keeps you awake at night. For some, this stage in life is very abrupt and a decision is made almost instantaneously. For others, the question plagues you for weeks, months and even years.
The dictionary defines home as “the place in which one's domestic affections are centered” however mentions of home do not always arouse that rose tinted glow of Nostalgia, particularly if your hometown is a small, close knit community in the North East of Scotland. The word instead may remind you of the shackles of small town living, the heads that shook when you walked down the street, the frowns and eye rolling that taint most memories of childhood.
Despite the envied beaches, the surroundings of family and the community spirit the security blanket of home can eventually get too heavy. When the familiar faces get mundane and you lose years to the monotonous routine of small town living. Your home is no longer where you feel most free - you seek adventure, debate, culture and challenge.
But to some, the security blanket of home will always be so tightly wrapped that the hometown where they were born and where they spent their childhood will also be the home where they’ll raise their children and grandchildren. Instead they are complaisant with the routine of familiarity and possess no desire to question the conventional or indulge in the curiosity to explore outwith.
So what happens if you are the select few who are not so content? What happens when you find the answer to leaving home and decide to embrace the open arms of the world whilst leaving your hometown behind?
First there will be judgement.
Prejudice will plague those who you left behind as they discuss the blasphemy of leaving home. They will tarnish you with the brush of snobbery and say you feel superior to your hometown counterparts.
Secondly, you will relish in the truth.
You will discover the real you. You will become selfish in your decisions and at times these choices will lead to mistakes, but these mistakes are the stepping stones on an exciting and addictive journey of freedom. There is no denying the tinge of fear - small town living can have that effect. You will doubt yourself, question your own voice and at times envy those still lounging in the safety blanket of home.
But you will reach a stage of relief, gain a sense of purpose and appreciate that despite the hardships, leading a life of “oh wells” is far greater than a life of “what if”.
So whether the question of leaving home is interrupting your everyday life or you indeed feel already content with your answer, I can assure you that leaving will never be the hardest part - it’s the question of whether to return that is.