Yeah, yeah, I came back. F**k you, Quinn.

It me, Enver. Formerly walpurgisak/Making a Mulligan. I only came back to manage my danny phantom hyperfixation. Fuck you Quinn.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nynehells]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

[goldensunset]

what’s a ‘skill’ of yours you swear isn’t special but everyone else seems impressed by. for example i can always tell when it’s about to rain (as opposed to just cloudy) because of how it smells and the hue that everything outside is slightly tinted

[walpurgisakjr]

Im very good at making friends with people who are queer before they realize/come out. like, no shit, my last pair of roomates were dating when we moved in together and within 3 years they had *both* transitioned and broken up bc one was gay and the other a lesbian. This isnt a case of good gaydar either; i cant tell if someone is queer consciously.

also people tell me their problems. like. a 15-20 min conversation with a new person will almost always include at least one trauma dump.

one last thing, people are always disproportionately impressed with my ability to deal with paperwork.

[quasi-normalcy]

As a child, I was never able to tell the difference between “male bonding” and vicious bullying.

Maybe this was because I was a girl, but I suspect that it may have been because there’s not actually any difference between male bonding and vicious bullying, and parents and teachers are just too willing to turn a blind eye to it.

[dystopian-studies]

The thing about “traditional” male socialization is that it’s ALL about hierarchy, and that being “socialized” as a male is all about jockeying for/being reaffirmed of your place in that hierarchy.

You can almost think of it like a control based MLM, with people higher on the hierarchy having the privilege of exerting pain/humiliation/demands on those below them. The people in the middle desperately want to put themselves on top (because it means suffering less) so they’re conditioned to put down everyone they encounter who might challenge them, even without thinking of it.

This is how a friend of my Dad’s ended up nearly breaking my thumb when I was six. Upon first being introduced to me, this rough edged blue collar fellow went in for one of those painful “knuckle buster” handshakes that assholes do to assert dominance. Thing is, I was autistic as hell and didn’t give him the reaction he wanted (yelping to signal my submission) so he pressed HARDER and didn’t let me pull away. Dude was so insecure about being out mogged by a fead eyed firstgrader that he kept pressing till something cracked and I had to go to the emergency room.

The thing that really got me, even back then is because every adult from my parents to the doctors insisted that I shouldn’t be angry or upset because he was teasing and this would toughen me up.

Like, no? All it did was make my neurodiverging ass MORE skittish around people I didn’t know. There was a very good risk that I would have internalized the idea that people who are bigger/stronger can do whatever they want to smaller people which I bet is *exactly* what happened to this dude at some point early on.

[walpurgisakjr]

this assessment is absolutely correct and id like to add that some of us (gays) had to sexualize this shit in order to reframe it in a way that let us deal with it. "male hierarchy" kink is a real thing and (i say this with self-knowledge) its weird.

[kikokuso]

I have a new favourite batshit rail idea

Please build it for the funny please please please

[vacuously-true]

You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: In several European countries where the drinking age is 18, and the age you can get a driver's license is also 18, there's a window of time where someone who just turned 18 and doesn't have a driver's license to use as an ID yet will simply use their passport. Shitfaced and unsupervised just-newly-legal-adults teenagers from the heart of central Europe showing up in Canada because someone thought "hey let's go to Texas lmao" and nobody was sober enough to say that that's a terrible idea.

[dozydawn]

nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.

[ch40s0w1]

context explaining why the announcer is screaming, this is supposed to take a high level competitive agility dog 40 seconds

[sandersstudies]

This video makes me cry every time it’s on my dash and I can’t even iterate why.

Like the dog doesn’t even know it’s a competition and she’s made history. She(?) just is happy and knows she made her owner happy too.

[solely-ashes]

The face of a being with only a wind storm between their ears, moments before unleashing it unto the world

[severeprincesheep]

always a pleasure to see this girl on my dashboard

[literatebugs]

sO BECAUSE OF DASHCON 2 I WENT TO THE TORONTO AIRPORT AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 6AM AND NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED BORDER PATROL AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 6AM SO I JUST SAID DASHCON AND ONE OF THE CUSTOMS AGENTS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “A SECOND ONE?!?” AND THEN HE READ THE TRENDING TAG ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN CUSTOMS AGENT SITTING ON MY LUGGAGE CRYING AND CURSING AT STRANGE AEONS UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD

[woman-respecter]

suburban women on september 15 1967 tuning in to star trek and seeing fuck-or-die mode spock getting in a sweaty man fight with captain kirk in amok time

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

[moral-autism]

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

[aksemmi]

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

[yaldabaothadeez]

"For miles around the foul creature's lair is nothing but barren wastes"

"because of The Curse?"

"Because of the deer and rabbits, fucking thing ate all the wolves"

[strange-aeons]

Yah

Matching booty shorts that say *please don't try this for real, even scent free, dye free lotions are not safe for cats to lick. Most people keep their binguses moisturized using a little coconut oil in the bath but personally my cats skin reacts badly to it so hemp oil is my go to now

[littlebit-of-art]

when I die….please delete my ao3 bookmarks 😭

[its-in-the-woods]

going full unhinged. Print everything I wrote and read. Bind it and make sure every last blood member of my family knows how fucked up I am

[walpurgisakjr]

yes this is exactly what i feel!

put that shit on a billboard so people can find joy in the stuff I did, and everyone else can jump in a lake.

[zephyr-zephyr]

Once i had a teacher who was OBSESSED with

A) resource guarding

And

B) Harry Potter

So naturally, every time someone didn’t have a pencil she would charge them 10 house points (which, even in schools where there is an actual house point system, probably doesn’t fucking happen). She openly held the belief that she had to ascribe value to these precious writing implements or else no one would appreciate them, a concept evidenced by, i kid you not, how when homeless people are given houses for free they let them fall into disarray, because they didn’t pay for the house and therefore didn’t care about it. I, a pissed off 13 year old with a vendetta against power hungry teachers and also JK Rowling, brought a 100 pack of pencils to school so that whenever someone had to ask for one, instead of being charged a fictional currency and upsetting their fellow, deeply competitive students, i would just give them one. If the pencil didn’t come from the teacher, she couldn’t charge points for it.

This upset her. She couldn’t assert her power over the 1st period Advanced 8th Grade Math Class anymore. For i, The Pencil Liberator, had come to put an end to her tyrannous behavior.

She told me to stop about 30 pencils in.

[walpurgisakjr]

I want to thank @zephyr-zephyr for affording me the opportunity to use thr block button on the unhinged randroid in the reblogs. People who set off the chuds on this site so they reveal themselves are doing a community service.

also, thank you for an extremely amusing story about an extremely punk and cool thing they did as a child.

[zephyr-zephyr]

Once i had a teacher who was OBSESSED with

A) resource guarding

And

B) Harry Potter

So naturally, every time someone didn’t have a pencil she would charge them 10 house points (which, even in schools where there is an actual house point system, probably doesn’t fucking happen). She openly held the belief that she had to ascribe value to these precious writing implements or else no one would appreciate them, a concept evidenced by, i kid you not, how when homeless people are given houses for free they let them fall into disarray, because they didn’t pay for the house and therefore didn’t care about it. I, a pissed off 13 year old with a vendetta against power hungry teachers and also JK Rowling, brought a 100 pack of pencils to school so that whenever someone had to ask for one, instead of being charged a fictional currency and upsetting their fellow, deeply competitive students, i would just give them one. If the pencil didn’t come from the teacher, she couldn’t charge points for it.

This upset her. She couldn’t assert her power over the 1st period Advanced 8th Grade Math Class anymore. For i, The Pencil Liberator, had come to put an end to her tyrannous behavior.

She told me to stop about 30 pencils in.

[verminfang]

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

[enki2]

[fuckaspunk]

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

#i appreciate how genuine and non-judgemental this comic feels #like left one is not upset at right one for caring while being powerless #and right one seems genuinely distraught and not performative

I'm glad the facial expressions are coming across accurately! It can feel so absurd to say gosh I hope the torment maze removes some fire and rusty nails soon, but alas, sometimes that's all one can do.

[fieldbears]

Also sometimes you and your friend are both in Torment Mazes, different ones, and while yours is way hotter, you know that your friend's has just so many more rusty nails than yours does, and so you and your friend vent to one another about your respective Torment Mazes and sympathize in a way that makes very clear that it's not a Torment Maze Olympics, there is no competitive element about whose Torment Maze is worse, and you both just genuinely wish the other to be freed from their Torment Maze as soon as humanly possible

[protoindoeuropean]

Of course it goes without saying that I am hopelessly dependent on the monolith

[if-you-think-about-it]

Hooooooooo I know this monolith, it's my favourite, I was mesmerised by it. It's sun warmed, it's slightly translucent, it stand out so much from any other rock in the complex, it has this squared off structure that still seems organic.

[elodieunderglass]

Thank you for this context, I feel that I could also become hopelessly dependent on the monolith 🫶

[kyraneko]

Green nephrite stone in the ruins of a temple in Hattuša, formerly the capital of the Hittite Empire, now in modern-day Turkey, in case anyone else was curious as to where to find it.

[walpurgisakjr]

Its Jade!! and no one knows why its there! and its the only stone like it in Hattusa!

Im in love i think.

[protoindoeuropean]

Of course it goes without saying that I am hopelessly dependent on the monolith

[if-you-think-about-it]

Hooooooooo I know this monolith, it's my favourite, I was mesmerised by it. It's sun warmed, it's slightly translucent, it stand out so much from any other rock in the complex, it has this squared off structure that still seems organic.

[elodieunderglass]

Thank you for this context, I feel that I could also become hopelessly dependent on the monolith 🫶

[kyraneko]

Green nephrite stone in the ruins of a temple in Hattuša, formerly the capital of the Hittite Empire, now in modern-day Turkey, in case anyone else was curious as to where to find it.