Wanda The Wendy-Lady @wandathewendylady - Tumblr Blog

southernsideofme-deactivated201

might-be-a-gliscor

emt-monster

Please reblog if you know anyone who might take party drugs.

smeliot-deactivated20220528

this is so important

arkhamarchitecture

Also important information: A cop cannot arrest you for something you already took. You can tell a cop to his face that you just injected black tar heroin in your veins and as long as you don’t currently have any on you (including things like syringes or residue in a pipe), there’s fuck all he can do about it.

I take police reports for a living. The number of people who will happily tell someone “Well officer, this fight started because I smoked crack cocaine earlier,” is astounding and also not at all illegal. The criminal charge is for Possession of a Controlled Substance. If you don’t possess any at the time, there’s no crime. The only thing you can get dinged for is if you’re actively on a drug and driving, in which case - DUI.

Please, please, please tell EMTs what you took. They’re not going to rat you out to the cops and even if they did, you will still be okay.

kenderfriend

Spreading the word, being honest with paramedics and doctors can save your life

babyanimalgifs

Hilarious animals in clumsy situations

tomfordvelvetorchid-deactivated

WHY DID A GROUP OF WHITE MEN WRITE LAWS FOR PEOPLE THAT WOULD BE BORN HUNDREDS OF YEARS LATER WHY ARENT WE ALOUD TO CHANGE AND REVISIT THE CONSITUTION AS TIME CHANGES SHIT THATS FROM 300 YEARS AGO DONT APPLY TO TODAY THE FUCK

systlin

You know, Thomas Jefferson said that Americans should revisit the Constitution every twenty years and re-write from scratch as needed to reflect the changing needs of society.

systlin

The reason for this, he said, was that he feared that Americans would not view themselves as stakeholders in the foundation document of US law, and therefore become divorced from the idea of their own self-governance, and that politicians from the President down would become ‘like wolves’.

*Looks around at America in 2017*

Yeah he fuckin called that shit.

babyanimalgifs

wait for a surprise

destinyrush

Yes! Let them know ✊🏾

newboy-bigworld-deactivated2019

REBLOG THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!!!!!

ilikedogs

lake-erie

nerdfighterwhatevernumbers

I like how she didn’t even directly mention men and he still said that

alexander

IM HOLLERING RIGHT NOW

jonnovstheinternet

A megalodon tooth stuck in a whale vertebrae.

badly-drawn-robot-deactivated20

this is the most badass fossil in existence

hamelin-born

WHOSOEVER PULLETH THIS TOOTH FROM THIS STONE IS THE RIGHTFUL KING OF THE PACIFIC.

xandariathepink

How to summon Aquaman.

anastasiiasapon-deactivated2025

Them fairies in pajamas

anastasiiasapon-deactivated2025

Lake Fairies floating

www.happilyeverlaughter.com

theforgottenjew

Can we talk about this for a minute

runningfromomelas-deactivated20

Can someone transcribe Obama’s letter? I can’t read his lawyer handwriting

autisticcutie

@runningfromomelas I am grateful to Yad Vashem and all those responsible for this remarkable institution. At a time of great peril and promise, war and strife, we are blessed to have such a powerful reminder of man’s potential for great evil, but also our capacity to rise up from tragedy and remake our world. Let our children come here, and know this history, so that they can add their voices to proclaim “never again”. And may we remember those who perished, not only as victims, but also as individuals who hoped and loved and dreamed like us, and who have become symbols of the human spirit. -Barack Obama 23 July 2008

Sorry for the formatting issues, I’m on mobile

theforgottenjew

Reblog for script

clintorissss

yeehawlw

HE JUST FCKING SCREAMS I-

mielparaoshun

Lmaoooo

theonion

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine

SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.

“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”

“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”

Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.

In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.

Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.

“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”

“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”

Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.

“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”

While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.

“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”

“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.

At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.