Hello I'm Douglas ..basically ....Run! @wandering-commando - Tumblr Blog

lilacted

i n s i d e m y h e a d

#NowPlaying WANDERERS RADIO by Douglas James Cartner alll types of older tunes

#music #spotify

notice how the guy on the sign has some resemblances to Axton, different but the same kind of points ?

#borderlands 2 #axton the commando

The Island

I envy those lot that get to go on the island, I would love to be chucked into that situation

#the island

he starts to cry

doesnt know why

but it's time to say goodbye

taking one last look at the sky

wearing the favourite bowtie watch in line with his eye

feels like it is time

the bottle and glass clatter with a chime

pours a whiskey just one

looking back I guess it was fun

even though he knew he was a fuck up

and all he did was run

all ready his note is done

tried to crack on

but it all built up over time

feeling unhappy he let

took the shotgun commiting theft

a story painted on his wrists

hands clentched into a fist

cocked and loaded

25g of powder, a touch to the head a squeeze of the trigger

and a head full of led

someone heard the shot

they found him dead

happy and hyper people always said

las words scribed on his wriss

"i'm so sorry for this"

as he gave the gun his last kiss

mind

Eyes dull no more space to fill more cuts will no longer life's goal to fufil different day same old drill head full of shit but no skill tries to go in for the kill but always short on pills all the empty the booze fills only thing left for thrills is the booze and pills on the windowsill an empty void where there was a heart the last one got torn apart by another siren tart 19 still can't get a head in life ducks and dodges all the strife just to sit, drink & cut himself with a knife knocked down time and time again yet stood up a man among men over the years he's grown, throwing his feeling at the end of a pen so many last notes addressed to them but ends up k.o or throwing it up everymorning faces life with a smile despite the rut a mask thats cracked over the times that show as lines on his face and arms crying out like a mime no one sees the sign when they do its like he commited a crime eyes have sunken over all the sleep less nights red from emotional fights drinking to dampen any lights apologizing for any & everything is that right that he'd rather be outta sight blood running from the knife bite like a soldier tryna keep is composure a bergen full of hopes and dreams slung over his shoulder as his hearts gone crack hit the sack watch as his vision goes black

4935058-452485-deactivated20170

Constant apologizing is a side effect of emotional abuse so don’t be a dick about someone who does that

wandering-commando

That explains why i do

new years again :/

well here's to another year, where a "new me" is basically just wearing another mask hoping that I can make it to the end of the day without drinking or killing myslef ...or both, went in with a drink in my and and a bag of problems, came out with drink and a bag of the same problems and a worrying sense it will all be the same this year or itll end up alone again so this might bee my last year in this world .

wtfzodiacsigns

Leo: They never chase after someone unless they are really important. - WTF Zodiac Signs Daily Horoscope!

daisyn1022

@motashirley nah he fucked up still. You is important 👍

wandering-commando

unfortunately we chase the wrong ones :/

This year

Its been or going to be another year and I look back on it thinking I spent the majority either crying, drinking, trying to please everyone or going after someone whom would never feel the same about me or come back to me.

I tried to leave but i couldn't either i backed out or i woke up. There’s people out there who have had worse things happen to them so I’m sorry if i sound over the top. But I honestly just don’t want to be here, I don’t want to go home to the family for Xmas I do’t want to go back to flat with my flat mate or my mates for new years, I want to lock myself in my room and drink till i either man up to end it or pass out and wake up happy with someone who can look me in the eyes and say they love me.

who will look past my problems and drinking, harming ect make me feel good one more time just one someone I would throw away my forces dream for again”! but hey i can dream eh. but i digress I guess this is probably a pre determined Good Bye

I wake up sad then something makes me happy only to depress me and drink myself deeper into the void of fake happiness.

Im sorry

#goodbye #new year #i'm sorry

fuck this life

See I wonder what people would say at my funeral and where I'm going if I'm out the forces and sitting in a pub on Sunday afternoon

Thats it no plan No back up with nothing left to loose All I need is a reason and a bottle of booze Sorry for being horrible But the mask wasn't me As a person I'm certain this is good bye