Okay. I promise my complaining will eventually come to an end. I really do. It’s just... I have one more thing.
I keep seeing people say things like: "But they reconciled, made the decision together, and their love for each other and humanity led to the Big Bang, so it’s not like the original husbands didn’t get their happy ending!”
Look, I get what you mean. I really do. It’s just not how I see it.
To me, what we got was a forced "I forgive you", a barely-there reconciliation under an apple tree, and two grand gestures. The first grand gesture came from Aziraphale, who neglected his own needs / desires to let Crowley make his decision. The second grand gesture came from Crowley, who forgot about himself and dismissed his feelings to sacrifice himself for humanity. [Both are acts of love, yes.]
I just don’t think this is something anyone should do for the sake of love. Healthy love should not keep expressing itself through self-neglect. It should not require people to dismiss their own needs and feelings. Why was choosing yourself framed as selfish?
Even if it turns out there is no other option than self-sacrifice, I will always read this as tragic, not romantic.
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On a more personal note, I was raised in a family where you had to earn love. So I grew up becoming a person of grand gestures, always ready to give everything to the people I love, often not even knowing where my boundaries were. I am still struggling with this.
Naturally, I loved Crowley’s character. But I also loved that he decided not to go to Heaven with Aziraphale in Season 2. He drew a line there, for the first time, really. I wanted him to heal. I thought that this was where the story was going. Instead, I feel that what Season 3 tried to tell me is that his behaviour was never unhealthy. It was always just deeply romantic. And this... this feels wrong to me.
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