* . ( boy who lives .

. . .  the scar had not pained him for years. all was well.

[wandwon-blog]

the wizarding world celebrates today, articles in the paper expressing HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY JAMES POTTER accompanied by a list of his personal achievements, the most flattering photos they can find and as much as he'd like to celebrate with the man he finds it difficult to give him any attention he doesn't already have -- particularly when he knows harry didn't want the attention to begin with. (1/3)

but ignoring the day is out of the question as is downplaying it, reducing it to a ’ happy birthday ’ and a kiss on the cheek. so instead he finds a happy medium, or hopes that he has at least, with reservations made at a nice /muggle/ restaurant that hermione introduced him to and a small box slid across the table toward him as their silverware is set down, simply enjoying the atmosphere. ❛ you may be tired of hearing it by now but i don’t really care so you’re going to have to at least one more time , ❜ a small smile , loving / affectionate. ❛ happy birthday , potter. and let me know if you hate that , i’m never quite sure what to get you . you’re somehow both the easiest and hardest person to please . ❜

         It was so easy to remember a time when he didn’t celebrate his birthdays at all  ,  if the Dursley’s remembered him  ,  they didn’t care to show it  –  presents in the shape of the scattered junk around the house  /  a reminder that  ,  as much as he was their nephew  ,  their cousin  ,  he wasn’t anything important  ,  deserved nothing of value the way that Dudley did  ;  he didn’t measure up in their eyes  ,  no matter what he did  ,  and all along there were thousands who celebrated him in secret  ,  hidden away in a world he was to know nothing about.

That thrilled him.  Once.

Over the course of the years following his re - arrival into the wizarding world  ,  he’d been delighted by the simple gestures of his friends  ,  but not the fanfare that occurred as a result of it  :  they’d even wanted to make his birthday into a holiday  (  grateful  ,  as always  ,  for Hermione  /  he’d begged her to not let it happen  )  to be celebrated amongst themselves  ,  and he definitely didn’t want that.  All he’d ever wanted was a private affair  ;  intimate  ,  close  ,  with the people he cared about  ,  and who  ,  in turn  ,  cared about him.   

Harry promised Ron and Hermione both that he’d come see them  ,  that they could spend some time together on this day of his  –  but he also wanted to spend it with Draco  ,  just the two of them  /  lately  ,  it’d felt like it’d been so hard for it to just be the two of them.  Marriage and family were many things  ,  but was not what it’d been before  –  a quiet house  (  at times  )  with moments and lives they needn’t have put in halves for anyone else but each other  ,  and so  ,  when Draco asked him here  ,  he accepted without hesitation  … but maybe a bit too eagerly.

           “  If it’s you  ,  “   Harry began  ,  taking the box from Draco with careful hands.  Nice  ,  and small.  Grateful that it was small  /  not long after Voldemort’s defeat  ,  Harry had once received the largest present he’d seen in his life from a woman he’d never even met  :  a treehouse of charmed birds that repeated at him the recorded adulation of the suitor who’d sent it.  He didn’t care for large packages after that.      “  you can say it as much as you want.  But if one more stranger on the street tells me that it’s my birthday  …  “

           Harry unwrapped the present.  Inside were tickets  ,  and a watch.  Harry took the tickets out  ,  first  ,  a smile spreading over his face.   VIP box seats for the World Cup.   “  For all of us?   “   he counted the tickets.  One for him  ,  Draco  ,  Albus  ,  Scorpius and Carina  ,  it looked like.  And a watch  …  it had a red face  ,  and what looked like numerous buttons.  He fiddled with the buttons for a moment.  There was a face that reminded him of the clock in the Burrow  ;  it told him where the kids were  ,  where Draco was  ,  right in front of him.  Another predicted the weather  ,  and another face reminded him of important dates and what needed to be done.  It was a practical  ,  thoughtful gift  ,  and it made a handsome addition to his wrist.

“   it’s beautiful  ,   “   he said after a moment  ,  before handing the watch out to Draco  ,  and extending his wrist.   “   but you ought to put it on me  ,  don’t you think?   “

[phantomemes]

quotes taken from the character  “ wendy ”  of klei entertainment’s  “ don’t starve  / don’t starve together ” .  feel free to change pronouns as necessary .  warnings for some allusions to death  /  generally somber overtones .

“ i’m only taking back what’s mine ”

“ nothing good may last ”

“ they are more useful in death ”

“ i’ll only end up hurt again ”

“ life brings pain  ,  pain brings life ”

“ the clouds weep ”

“ i am directionless ”

“ the sun upsets me  ;  i couldn’t possibly sleep ”

“ i was always destined to bear a heavy load ”

“ it makes me feel less alone   —   plus  ,  i can throw it ”

“ whatever is in there isn’t dead yet ”

“ life needs time to blossom ”

“ emptiness  :  the natural state of all things ”

“ nothing escapes the pull of decay ”

“ i don’t know why you bother  ,  we’re all going to burn ”

“ the relief it brings is only temporary ”

“ it is a dark path we tread ”

“ shall we set the world on fire ? ”

“ some of us can see our cages ”

“ it only provides the illusion of control ”

“ it seems a tad dramatic ”

“ its beauty will undoubtedly succumb to the tide ”

“ the emptiness is consuming him ”

“ antagonizing crows is always bad luck ”

“ the moon  ;  she whispers promises of protection to me ”

“ it’ll never get better than this ”

“ i have learned unspeakable things ”

“ it may warm my body  ,  but what of my spirit ? ”

“ no living soul commands the sea ”

“ your beauty will fade too  ,  you know ”

“ life is a swirling abyss of suffering and disappointment ”

“ that I cannot hear it does not mean it is silent ”

“ a shame you have to perish ”

“ death will be a blessing ”

“ i have destroyed something beautiful ”

“ your sacrifice will not be in vain ”

“ how does it feel to be ripped from your home ? ”

“ no matter what it consumes  ,  it is never satisfied ”

“ oh well  —  i hope it’s a quick death ”

“ the world has wronged you ”

“ you can’t hide from your problems forever  ;  i’ve tried ”

“ do you dig your own tomb  ,  sir ? ”

“ a life sooner begun is a life sooner ended ”

“ vegetables are good for you  ,  but what do i care ? ”

“ i can no longer be amused by childish things ”

“ i’m surprised we didn’t die trying to get this ”

“ did it go as you planned ? ”

“ you should be thankful i’m sparing you ”

“ i can’t do anything right ”

“ i must carry my own burden ”

“ your pleas will fall on deaf ears ”

[wandwon-blog]

. *  MALFOY  .  )

✦.*  (  @wandwon . *

                ❛  don’t always have to tell you when i’m heading home  ,  do i ?  ❜      he asks  ,  shrugging his coat off  ;  it picks itself up before hitting the floor  ,  hovering in the air for but a moment before hanging itself up upon the coat rack in the entryway .  he’s home early  ,  three hours earlier than usual to be precise  ,  paperwork finished and body  absent  of any new scars .      ❛  good to surprise you now and again .  keep you on your toes and all that .  unless you’d be happier if i came home late again ?  ❜      eyebrow raises  ,  mock inquisition  ;  he already knows the answer .      ❛  i can always head out again  ,  bide my time for a few hours .  sure i can find something to do .  ❜

        it’s unexpected  ,  harry thought  ,  with a jolt of pleasure that’d begun the moment the door opened and he saw draco’s familiar face;  unexpected  ,  as much as it’d been dearly wanted  ,  from the moment draco had begun to rise from their bed in the morning and he’d clung at his wrists  ,  all watery hope and  you have to go right now’s?   and it was so unexpected  ,  enough  ,  that it kept harry frozen in spot for a moment  ,  before winding himself closer  ,  snide  ,  ❛  you’d keep me waiting for longer?  ❜  

        his hands are already on the planes of draco’s face in minutes.  wanting to touch  ,  of course  ,  but looking too  --  for any new blemishes  ,  any fresh  ,  hastily healed scar.  ❛  we had dinner without you  ,  though.   well  ...  albus didn’t want to.    ❜   but he did  ,  the first time in a while he’d listened to harry without much struggle  ,  and that was on threat of draco’s disappointment.  almost wishes draco could have seen it.    ❛  is that alright?  ❜

[wandwon-blog]

Howdy.

[wandwon-blog]

. * MALFOY  .  )

                just thinking  ;  a broad statement that draco knows all too well    could mean any number of things  ,  few of them particularly heartwarming .  not that he blames him  ,  really  ,  can’t imagine there are  good  thoughts associated with their bathroom duel  ,  two desperate boys the only factors needed to end the day in a near - tragedy  ,  blood soaked tiles and forever - held scars .  harry beats himself up over it  ,  of course  ,  when draco can’t recall the last time he felt any true animosity toward him for the situation and as such he reaches to take harry’s hand in his own  ,  lifts his knuckles to his lips .  staring affectionately  ,  as per usual .

                ❛  no  ,  you’re terribly fidgety .  even in your sleep you can’t stop shifting about .  ❜      sometimes he kicks him awake in a manner not unlike a jack rabbit .  draco  ,  in turn  ,  tends to push him out of the bed .  it’s a loving little 4am  exchange .  but that’s not what he wants to talk about  ,  not really .      ❛  thinking about what ?  ❜

        a loaded question  ,  really  ,  when it came down to it.  thinking about what? you  ,  us  ,  everything  ,  and  how can you still love me  ,  knowing what i can do to you  ,  what i have done?   harry tried to continue his finger’s gentle journey along the ridges of draco’s scars  ,  and then came up empty  –  hands coiling backwards into himself like a serpent at rest  ,  before draco draws it to his mouth for a kiss.     ❛  why?  you’re my shrink now  ,  malfoy?    ❜

        the silence slipped between them  ;  there’s dissonance in the domestic of the situation  :  birds chirping outside  ,  enjoying the gardens  ,  the way their chests rose and fell with each breath  –  he just wanted to have this moment.  was it so bad?  to want a moment for them without the weight of the past pressing down from somewhere else.    ❛   let’s do something else  ,   ❜ said harry  ,  curling up closer to draco.    ❛  stop asking questions like that.   ❜

[wandwon-blog]

. *  MALFOY  .  )

@wandwon  /  sc .

                ❛  you’re doing it again .  ❜      spoken without bite  ,  a simple  observation  stated softly  ,  watching harry’s fingers trace old scars  /  old memories  ,  carved into his flesh with magic  &  ignorance .  he does this  ,  draco has noticed  ,  when they lay together  :  fixates on the long healed gashes his hands could only feebly attempt to keep closed  ,  the two of them growing redder and redder by the minute .  draco scarcely notices them anymore  ,  just another ghost to tuck away and revisit in nightmares and it feels strange  ,  then  ,  to have someone  else  pay them any attention   —–   and so  intently  at that .      ❛  they aren’t going to change  ,  you know .  and i’m fairly sure they don’t form a picture  ,  either  ,  so if that’s what you’re looking for you’ll be here a while .  ❜

         and so the meandering of his index finger came to a pause  ,  dipping beneath the curve of draco’s abdomen and then back against his own chest  ,  tucked away like a hogwarts student caught after hours.  it’s habit  /  it’s remorse  ,  the knowledge that he had cut into draco so deep as to leave these scars here  :  the oldest of the ones here  ,  he thinks  ,  before draco made his body into the topography of an auror  ,  but still the most painful.  harry tried very hard not to think of that fight  ,  years ago  ,  but it still resurfaced here and there  ,  like a bloated corpse on a river.

        ❛   can’t help myself  ,  ❜   said harry  ,  dismissive  ,  deflective  ,  burying the burgeoning emotions rising up in his throat.   ❛   i’m just thinking  ,  you know i can’t sit still.   ❜

[wandwon-blog]

hmmm starter call

[wandwon-blog]

hmmm starter call

[wandwon-blog]

hmmm starter call

[wandwon-blog]

.  *  MALFOY  .  )

                there are a list of reactions that draco considered    when he thought about how this scenario would play out and  ,  truthfully  ,  this is  not   the worst one that came to mind   ——   though it’s up there  ,  as an uncomfortable twinge in his chest reminds him .  it’s not a surprise at least  ,  that harry is upset  ,  bothered  by the presence of something so morbid but draco isn’t stupid  ,  blind  ,  deaf  …  it’s not the gift that upsets him  ,  but the necessity of it  /  but the job draco walks out the door to every day  ,  leaving behind a family who is never quite sure if he’ll come  home  this time .  if he were an accountant  ,  he doubts harry would mind half as much  ,  this little flame  ,  this little box .  it’s the likelihood of it coming to use that scares him  ,  that spurs such a strong reaction with all the  swearing  and  questioning  ,  accusing him of a lack of  thought  in handing it to him  ,  accusing him of cruelty .

perhaps he is cruel .  but no more so than the man before him  ,  begging for  &  damning safety simultaneously .

                ❛  i didn’t think it’d make you happy .  though you’ve yet to punch me so i’d say i could’ve done worse .  ❜      he laces his hands together in front of him  ,  lips pursed .  there’s still time  ,  draco thinks to himself  ,  keep pushing his damn buttons and you’ll deserve the bloody nose he gives you .  could’ve just used  that  blood then  ,  a waste of a finger .      ❛  you already keep yourself up at night  ,  worrying .  i see your face when you read the paper  ,  some auror found dead  ,  making yourself sick trying to imagine my name in the headline .  sure you do the same at hogwarts   —  can’t imagine you sleep any better  ,  being even further away from me .  don’t think this changes anything  ,  really  ,  except what you choose to look at while you scare yourself senseless over what i may or may not be getting into back home .  ❜

                 breathe out  ,  breathe in .  he’s attending a funeral next week  ,  allison wycoat .  she’d only started five months ago  ,  bright and excited and determined to do well by the wizarding world .  her parents found out from the prophet  ,  before they found out from anyone else and he thinks of harry  ,  being handed a newspaper over breakfast  /  reading some  mixed review  of draco’s character alongside a photograph of his corpse .  no warning  ,  no way to brace himself .  harry would prefer he not die  /  draco would prefer it too  ,  but life is not always kind and if he’s to make a pretty corpse harry should at least find out before the press does .

                ❛  i  want   to come home  ,  you  know   that .  but if something were to happen  …  you’d want to know  ,  and you’d want to know without reading some passive aggressive news article  ,  or receiving an owl from some stranger barely making an attempt not to sound overjoyed .  ❜      it’s not about saving him  /  it’s not about rushing home to help .  he doesn’t need harry to play hero  ,  doesn’t want him to .  it’s about knowing  ;  nothing more .      ❛  you can hate it .  i expected that  ,  frankly  ,  would’ve been more than a little surprised if you’d thanked me for it .  but you want it .  and i think that matters more .  ❜

          and if it were anyone else  ,  harry thought he would have already left  /  never having loved being told what to do and what he wanted  ,  as though anyone could know the two better than himself  ;  if it were anyone but draco malfoy he would not have stayed  ,  if it were anyone but this boy he’d have packed his bags long ago and damned the relationship as a scab  ,  picked over  ,  peeled off.    it hurts.    harry wondered if it always would  ,  or if draco’d have figured it out by some unforseen time  ,  preferably before this wanted  /  unwanted gift came into play  ,  before the light sputtered out all of a sudden  ,  before the daily prophet would sideline his death into a column four pages in  ,  before rita skeeter would have called him a self - damning martyr eager for the accolades of the auror’s office  ,  since being a death eater had become passe in recent years. 

          if harry potter were anything  ,  anyone  ,  it was hopelessly hopeful. 

          ❛   don’t count the possibility out just yet  ,  malfoy.   ❜     he’d never.   even the idea of hurting draco sent unpleasant spiders skittering over his skin.    the threat came out of him as emptily as it’d truly been  ,  and harry loathed that he could not muster even an ounce of the hatred he’d once felt for the man standing across from him  --  he would have loved to have felt it now  ,  when he most needed it  ,  when he’d give anything to find it in him to despise draco and pack his belongings in the manor and leave  ,  and dare not look back.       ❛   don’t lie and say you want to come home.   i’m sorry  ,  but you know it isn’t true  --  it isn’t.   if you wanted to be home  ,  you’d be home  ,  you’d find some other way to make up for what the malfoy family did  ,  what you did.   you wouldn’t have a job where this  ,     ❜       he shook the enchanted terrarium between them.     ❛   if you come home  --  that’s great!   you have a family  ,  and a semblance of a normal life   ,   but if you don’t  ...  then you’re dead.   maybe for you that’s not that bad  ,  maybe it’s even wanted  ,  but for us  --   ❜

           harry’s heart felt more wounded than it ever had  ,  he felt.   it was like bleeding from a gash that wouldn’t heal.     ❛   don’t tell me what i want.   don’t.   you don’t care about what i want  ,  because if you cared at all i wouldn’t have this  ,   you wouldn’t have given it to me   ,   you’d do something else with your time and money  ,  and i wouldn’t spend every night wondering if maybe this one is the one that’s your last.   ❜  

               he took draco’s hand in his own  ,  and returned the gift.   its beautiful flame still shone brilliantly inside  ,  unmarred by any idea of draco being harmed.    ❛   i can’t take this.   i can’t.   i need  --  ❜   he wanted to run  ,  he didn’t want to be a coward.    ❛   i need something else  ,  but you’re not willing to give it  ,  aren’t you?   and we both know that’s true.   ❜

[wandwon-blog]

* . MALFOY . )

                it’s incredibly frustrating  ,  this boy’s disregard    for his own health  &  safety  /  how that seems to be mistaken for  heroics  by the fawning crowds  ,  putting stock into martyrs instead of men  ;  there’s only  bravery  in the act of  dying young  and when draco glances in the direction of harry’s hand once more it’s with furrowed brows  ,  a downward curve to his lips .  ‘  i don’t care what happens to me  ’    he says and it gets caught in his throat  ,  how draco wishes to respond  :  but i do .  it’s too personal  ,  too soft  ,  too  …  not him  ,  not  them  ;  even in this room he cannot fully shed his father’s careful upbringing long enough to give voice to worried affection in such blatant a manner .  the closest he can muster is this  :

                ❛  it may come as a shock to you  ,  but you’re not the only one who has to see you bleeding  ,  potter .  ❜      for all the  snap   it carries  ,  it cannot fully dilute the softness that seeps in  ,  the worry .  a weak bark with no bite  ,  carried on the tongue of a boy who knows harry doesn’t care how much worry he instills in those around him  ,  believing as long as he returns in one piece they’ve no reason for upset  /  believing even a corpse may have reason to bring joy .  

there is no easy way to say he cannot envision a world wherein he exists  &  harry doesn’t  /  there is no script with which to plea he is not forced to . 

                 ❛  and watch how you talk to me .  you don’t have  anyone   ‘ eating out of your hand ’   —  i’m not your  dog .  could break up your little  class  any time i wanted .  ❜      an empty threat  ,  of course  ,  more obvious than he wishes it were .  for all his huffing and puffing he’s done a  wonderful  job of keeping umbridge’s nose out of harry’s business and will  continue  to do so   ——   though he wishes his effort went more  appreciated .  it isn’t as if he won’t face consequences if it’s found out he’s been purposely steering her attention elsewhere   ——   thinks she may even tell his father  ,  a thought that has his stomach  instantly  in knots .

                he turns his body from where he lays in harry’s lap  ,  laying on his back now so as to look up at harry’s face rather than his stomach .      ❛  —  but fine .  if you’re going to be so damn stubborn i’ll see what i can do about it .  and you  owe me  ,  you do know that ?  ❜

         you could  ,  harry almost said  ,  but you don’t.  why is that?  but he’s unwilling to provoke draco further  ,  words caught in his throat the moment he had full view of his face.  he didn’t feel threatened  ,  by draco malfoy.  what a strange and wondrous feeling that was for him  ,  to look this boy in the eye and not worry about the words he’d pass on to a teacher  --  or an enemy  --  and the consequences which would arise from that  /  draco knew  ,  after all  ,  just what would happen to him if umbridge found out about dumbledore’s army.  he bore marks of her displeasure in the very hand that found itself winding back into draco’s silver - blonde head.

          ❛  thanks.  ❜   it felt awkward  ,  to thank him.   ❛  and what do i owe you?  want me on my hands and knees so you can use me as a footstool?  ❜  it’s as much a joke as it is a demand  :  there were times where he did have difficulty understanding what the other boy wanted from him  ,  or if he wanted anything at all.  this arrangement of theirs in the room of requirement was its own secret  ,  and harry had never been keen on the minds and feelings of other people.

          it was easier  ,  even  ,  to imagine that draco did want something out of this arrangement than that he wanted nothing at all  ,  that he were here for harry’s company and naught else.   

           ❛  i’ll do my best not to act like you’re not turning us in for your own self - interest  ,  then.  ❜  for all that draco was to him  ,  now  ,  he was still a member of the inquisitorial squad  ,  the group of students that reported directly to umbridge herself.  ❛  say you’re just umbridge’s dog instead of mine.  ❜

[wandwon-blog]

i saw endgame last night & a movie truly has not snatched my soul before the way this one has

[wandwon-blog]

*  .  MALFOY  .  )

                a fancy paperweight  —  funny  ,  how that is  ,  in a sense  ,    exactly what it is .  only  “ fancy ”  means far more than simply appearance and whether or not harry chose to set it atop his school work  …  that’s his own choice .  but what it  actually  is  ,  the  intended  use  …

                ❛  only slightly more .  you could use it that way just the same .  ❜      he says  ,  calmly holding out a hand to take it from harry  ,  to  show him  what it does  ;  it’s far easier that way  ,  than to try and use words   ——   if not a bit more  jarring  as well he supposes but they’ll live through it .  

                he eyes it only a brief moment once it’s been settled in his palm  ,  this gold and glass alignment of angled shapes that join together in some ornate little  house  ,  encasing opalesque stones that rest upon the bottom .  he hopes he likes it  /  he thinks he’ll hate it  /  maybe both  ,  if he’s lucky  ,  and he takes a breath  ,  hesitates  ,  before lifting his hand to his mouth and  biting  into his thumb hard enough to produce several beads of blood .  ‘ don’t ’  is the word that is said without saying  ,  articulated in the way his hand raises at harry’s expression  ,  desire to  say  something with blood trickling down the side of his thumb .  don’t .  just watch .

                he reaches his hand in through the opening in the side of the bowl - like structure  ,  presses his fingers against the side of his thumb and pushes  ,  forces blood outward and seems only satisfied when a drop falls against the rocks  ,  a scarlet hue against bright off - whites and pale rainbows .  it’s not pretty  ,  not to them  ,  but he hopes harry trusts him enough to think he won’t simply give him some  blood covered rocks  as a gift .

                ❛  this  ,  ❜      he says  ,  before blowing into it  ;  it responds readily  ,  blood suddenly alight not unlike the way a phoenix does upon its rebirth  ,  all at once  ,  vibrant and hot and  alive  in a twist and shudder of red flame that quickly settles into something green and soft and  tame  within its little abode .  he hands it back  ,  carefully  ,  gaze slow its shift of focus from the fire back to harry’s face .      ❛  is to help you stop worrying .  maybe .  well  ,  hopefully .  at the least i would hope it wouldn’t make you worry  more  but i’m never quite sure with you .  ❜

                ❛  it’s a  …  well  ,  the idea is you’ll know i’m not dead  ,  long as those flames are still burning .  supposed to sort of  …  sputter  ,  change color  ,  if i’m hurt too badly as well so you’ll know if i’m being rushed to mungo’s before the prophet does .  can’t exactly send you an owl can i  ,  if i’m laying in a ditch somewhere ?  figured this would do the job for me .  ❜

        that isn’t funny  ,  he wanted to say  /  it isn’t funny  ,  joking about being in a ditch somewhere  ,  a limp body cursed into a corpse  ,  while harry  --  hundreds of miles away  --  pecks at a chalkboard with magicked chalk  ,  his stepson  &  draco’s son in the front row  ,  but the words don’t come out  ,  bundled in his throat as he peers into the flame in his hands.  he thinks of the mirror of erised  ,  all those years ago  ;  how he’d obsessed over it every night  ,  peered into it for the simple hope of seeing his family again.  he wondered if he’d do that again  ,  with this  ,  knowing that draco was hurt somewhere and having no way to help him  ,  to save him.

        he hated the gift.         he loved the gift.

         it was undoubtedly very beautiful.  harry wondered if draco had done the charmwork himself  ,  if he’d labored over it for long.  something heated rose out of his throat  ,  then  ,  face crumpling darkly  ,   ❛  you thought this would be a good gift?  some  ...  flame to let me know you were out there  ,  getting hurt?  you think i’d be happy seeing this sputter out and know i can’t do a damn thing about it?  ❜   he shook the little house in his hands  ,  features twisting  ,  and tried very hard to look as though he wasn’t as upset as he felt.  

        when he released his next breath  ,  it shook out of him.   ❛  and what did you expect i’d do with this?  keep it on my bedside table at hogwarts and lose sleep over it?  wonder if i’d fall asleep and wake up the next morning to it completely out?  you didn’t give me a gift  ,  you gave me something to torture myself with.  ❜

         it was all that he could imagine he’d do  /  professor potter carrying a little flame in his robe pockets  ,  professor potter ignoring his teaching duties to hunch over this little green flame and hope that today wouldn’t be the day he’d see it flicker  ,  shift  ,  go out entirely.  ❛  but i suppose you think that’s alright?  making jokes out of you getting hurt  ,  making sure i just  ...  ❜  

        ❛  why did you think i’d want this  ,  malfoy?  ❜  he felt the itch of his upset in his throat  ;  he would not cry  ,  he didn’t like to  ,  but it clawed inside of him ravenously  ,  wanting to come out.  ❛  did you think it’d make me happy?  you thought it’d appease me?  ❜

         ❛  i wish it was just a god damn paperweight  ,  ❜  he said.  ❛  at least then i wouldn’t have to look at it and remember that you thought this was necessary for me to have.  ❜

[wandwon-blog]

. * KAIRI . )

      SHE  RETURNS  THE  SMILE  GIVEN  with  one  of  her  own ,  appreciative  of  his  words  of  encouragement  &  just  of  his  company  in  general .  ❛    yeah ,  they  do .  there’s  nothing  i  wouldn’t  do  for  them .  that’s  why  i  want  this  to  be  perfect .      ❜

        he took a few steps back to admire her handiwork  ;  how clear the care was  ,  how much effort she’d seemed to put into it  --  he was reminded  ,  frankly  ,  of hermione  :  the way thoughtfulness seemed to come to her like a second nature.   ❛  is it perfect?  or do you have a few other things to add to it?  ❜   harry wondered  ,  really  ,  if there was anything he could have helped with  /  charms weren’t his specialty  ,  but he didn’t think he would’ve minded lending a hand  ...

[wandwon-blog]

. * MALFOY . )

                he’s so  intrusive  ,  continuing to poke where they both know    draco doesn’t want him to  ,  insisting on recalling a situation that would be best left  buried  in his opinion and really the problem with the whole thing is that draco  …  just doesn’t know what to say .  no one here to hear you confess your decency  he says and it’s cutting  ,  almost  ,  as cutting as harry seems to be these days anyway but it hits him at an  awkward angle  ,  leaves him uncomfortable and uncertain  ;  he wishes he could say that’s what it was  /  wishes he could say that’s what it wasn’t  /  wishes he could say  anything  with certainty .  there are green eyes boring into the side of his head and he keeps his own gaze fixed straight ahead  ,  focused on a nearby window and debates  ,  briefly  ,  if he could throw himself through it before harry could manage to catch him .

he’s doubtful  /  he’s too scared to try it  ,  anyway .

                ❛  fine .  truth is  ,  i don’t know .  doubt that’s the answer you’re looking for but i  don’t  ,  not really .  i try not to think about that night too much  ,  it  —  ❜      he thinks of his aunt  ,  livid  /  thinks of his aunt  ,  torturous  /  he thinks and he cuts himself off  ,  rests his words beneath his tongue and allows them to melt there  ,  best left in his own mouth rather than on harry’s ears .  it doesn’t matter why he rejects the memory  /  he’s being asked a question and not knowing  ,  he suspects  ,  won’t cut it .  if harry doesn’t understand  ,  draco must  /  someone has to  ,  after all .

                ❛  if you want a guess  ,  i might’ve believed in you  ,  strange as that is .  i always hated it  ,  you know .  that  …  heroism  of yours  ,  how everyone else thought so damn highly of you for it .  but then  ,  i  …  ❜      a swallow  ,  gaze shifting to his hands in his lap .  there are new bandages around his arm  ,  a new scar  /  a forgotten mark .  his wand’s been confiscated for the time being and that’s just as well .      ❛  …  you were the only one doing anything  ,  weren’t you ?  ❜      quiet  ,  quiet  ,  not quite a  whisper  but a suggestion of one  ,      ❛  i just  …  i wanted it to  stop .  the death  ,  the torture  ,  the  filth  we had to keep in our  home   —   maybe that’s why i didn’t say anything .  maybe i was hoping you’d save the day  ,  like you always did .  couldn’t though  ,  could you  ,  if i’d gone and handed you off to the da  —  to  vold —  to  him .  ❜

         as unpleasant as the memory is  ,  as much as harry wished he could forget  ,  he knew what it was like to see draco malfoy from voldemort’s eyes  ;  not as gaunt as he was now  ,  but still thin  ,  still afraid  /  he tried to imagine what it would have been like to house him in his own home  ,  to transplant voldemort into the dursley’s living room  ,  or into grimmauld place  ,  to have that shadow cast in every corner.  it made a chill settle into harry’s stomach.  he wondered how draco had slept at all.

        ❛  you saved my life  ,  ❜  harry said.  ❛  you know that  ,  don’t you?  guess i just  --  needed to know if it was on purpose.  would’ve thought you’d have leapt at the chance to kill me.  ❜  he thought of lucius  ,  and draco  ;  the both of them  ,  all the malfoys a hall of mirrors reflecting nothing but each other  /  their own values  ,  their own beliefs  ,  their own purity.  why’d it take him so long to see the cracks in draco’s?  ❛  and when you tried to come for me again  ...  i dunno.  i guess i just don’t get it  ,  malfoy.  you didn’t want to hand me over  ,  and then you did?  or maybe you just didn’t want my blood in your house.    ❜

        he remembered cedric diggory  ,  crumpled against the ground  /  how badly he had never wanted to see that again.  was that what draco had felt  ,  he wondered?  after a childhood spoilt rotten with sweets  &  living parent’s love  ,  nothing could have prepared him for the reality of what the malfoy family wanted.  ❛  ------  i thought i understood you.  and now ...  now i don’t.  maybe it’s just my meddling gryffindor nature  ,  but ...  i needed to know.   ❜  

         harry had followed draco’s gaze to the bandages wound around his arm  ;  he’d noticed them earlier  ,  of course.  in the weeks prior he’d become fairly involved in the welfare of draco malfoy  ,  and his mother.  he took in a sharp breath.  ❛  your mother’s trial is coming up.  your father’s too  ,  i guess.  ❜  of draco  ,  he’d already spoken up  --  the crimes of a child under duress could not be punished  /  least of all with the threat of azkaban.  ❛  i’m planning to speak at her’s  ...  in  --  in her defense.  ❜

          ❛   i don’t know if it’d help anything.  but i’d like to try.  ❜  he left lucius out of the equation  ,  and hoped draco wouldn’t ask for it.  one of the last men he’d like to speak up in defense of was lucius malfoy  ,  and not even draco  ,  this draco  ,  would have been able to convince him otherwise  ...

[failset-blog]

hating you was familiar  /  comforting  /  something to keep me  warm  &  grounded  when i grew weary of surprises  ;  now  ,  here  ,  our hands tracing the scars we’ve made onto one another’s bodies and souls i nearly choke on my apologies .  i’m sorry  ,  whispered into your open mouth  ,  that it took me so long to realize  loving you  could do the same   |  draco malfoy  &  harry potter  ,  as beloved by  nyx  &  libra   |   personals don’t interact 

[wandwon-blog]

*  .  THARIA  .  )

♒~~≺

   A skittish, low-brow thief might’ve given up at this point; but ohh no, not her. Map of some kind in one hand and wand in the other, he’s clearly come to just claim the item and leave. For now, it works in her favor while he’s non-confrontational. Maybe it’s a spell that can only detect her for a short time, but regardless… Tharia begins to move to his side slowly, making attempts to go behind him.       Quietly, quietly as possible, Tharia Rurrio backs away underneath the cloak in the case this is some fluke.

         the thief steps in one direction  ,  and harry potter follows  --  and this time  ,  with a wand pointed in their direction.   he had no intentions of hurting the thief  (  not now  ,  not unless needing to  )  but he wasn’t going to back down simply because they felt they could just run off and not have him follow.

         ❛  i said  ,  ❜  this time he pointed the wand with rather more force in tharia’s direction.   ❛  i’d like the cloak back  ,  thanks.  ❜