I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never got
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@warofwill-blog
I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never got
Unknown (via deceptivelips)
@ochitae
"Wake up, Annie. "
INTENSITY UNLEASHES LIKE a fire, tearing down what’s encased it for so long. Months & months, finally does he reach the peak of anticipation. Blonde hair strewn messily across her eyes, her face, & she is free yet unawoken. A growing heat of hatred’s birth would fill his lungs & he would breathe the flames of the betrayed. He would not sleep until she has woken, he would not eat until his questions had been answered, & she is CAGED. An animal, condemned for behavior corrupt -- he knows this feeling, this situation, & part of him reminds him ( do you have no merc-- ) & it is shut down with a roaring ( SHE DESERVES NONE ). Lock her ! Cage her ! MONSTERS like her deserve no freedom.
( but what makes you so different, ‘ soldier ‘ ? )
@vvirago
RISE & WAKE, lids are snapped open & he can feel the oils built upon his face in his movement. ESCAPE, ESCAPE ! He cannot escape the terror his mind’s night, its eternal darkness. As if familiar fingers had been latched about his throat, he cannot scream nor cry nor fight & his breathing is quick, ragged. He sucks in a breath, audible & he turns to face the only comfort of home he has & he does not need to speak to convey his fear.
siiddereus
"Explain yourself. "
TROT, TROT, THE hooves of his horse smash against the ground, dirt kicking with every movement until halted. Reigns are grasped & animal cries ( WHY MUST YOU? ). To shelter witness to who stands before him-- he recognizes her not, yet her eyes speak in recognition of him. ( Who doesn’t, child? After all, you are that MONSTER. ) He reminds himself: DO NOT TRUST & suspicions are drawn with minimal hesitation. Question the being, do not engage.
tychebred: cheese steak
new tag drop !!
warofwill:
freedom knows no mercy.
❛ you can’t always want what you get. ❜
"I know that. "
To crave what he receives – MASOCHISM at its finest, as he dances with his guilt & blood is only kept from his cheeks with a handkerchief of a snotty sleeve. The many horrors he has seen, tortures he’s endured… no longer does the torture come from THEM, it lives inside of him. Crawling from the depths of his heart, where he’d hidden it (himself) long ago, they sing. Laments, they scream & he drowns within himself. ( IT’S YOUR FAULT, IT’S YOUR FAULT ), they never tire. Ceaseless nightmares of the memories he PLEADS to forget, reminding him, ( who is it that was he ? who is it that you KILLED? IT’S YOUR FAULT! Please don’t forget. ) & he never will. He never does.
His flesh is cold, hairs clinging to the air of a temperature so moderate & yet he’s sweating. He knows this lesson well, but his mind whispers, ( but do you not want what it is you receive ? ) & he doesn’t know the answer. Whispering through the air he stands within, crawling, like spiders, from the ground. Trees rustling, birds chirping, & oh, how he wishes for that freedom. That is what he knows. That is all he knows.
One foot forward, two feet back. A lifelong cycle & never will reach the peak. Not at this rate, not at this pace. He wonders each night his head hits a pillow, a floor board, the back of a wooden chair, or his neck against his chest, he thinks: is it me? it must be… for what cruelty would bound & leap for a chance at innocence? What is it I have done ?
& so he doesn’t hate it. He curses himself, punishing for a crime he knows not OF… not one in particular, anyway. Convinced he is at fault, that this reason is his own to bear, he walks with the world hoisted upon his shoulders, just waiting for it to crumble; who is he who corrupts everything he touches?
He takes his sins & wears them ( yet you cannot even do that much, for a monster would heal & hide what mistakes they’ve made ) & because of this reason, he allows this torment. He welcomes the demons of his mind & his father’s & he wishes he could THANK him for this ‘ gift ’. Too bad it is too late, & again does he bear the fault.
Father, father, without you, who would he be ? Could he find the distaste which he already knows & rid of it ? Would he place this sick wanting atop the highest shelf, never to reach it once more ? – ( Silly boy, what goes up must surely fall. )
He wants to say he does not want this, but he’s learned that promises are meant to be broken.
a softer world sentence starters.
theomachian:
❛ some people are so good at disappearing that you start to doubt your memories that they were ever there. ❜
❛ how do you say goodbye to someone who was never there? ❜
❛ i don’t want a world without pain, or loss. i just want them to mean something. ❜
❛ there are some people who believe a photo captures their soul. ❜
❛ if you love something let it go. ❜
❛ you were not the first, you will not be the last. ❜
❛ there are some secrets i will take to my grave, but i don’t want loving you to be one of them. ❜
❛ you can still back out before anyone gets hurt. ❜
❛ i said i’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. i guess that’s my problem. ❜
❛ kindness won’t save anyone. ❜
❛ for a long time i thought i deserved better. but the truth is we both deserve better than this. ❜
❛ i wish there was a word that meant “goodbye” for someone who was already gone. ❜
❛ i never meant to hurt you. you have to believe me. ❜
❛ we’ll always have yesterday. ❜
❛ hope softens the rough edge of every promise. ❜
❛ love is stupid. happiness is admitting we aren’t better than stupid. ❜
❛ you can’t always want what you get. ❜
❛ i wish i had a dollar for every dollar’s worth of work i did. ❜
❛ we are empty inside and hollow. hoping something sweet will make its nest in us. ❜
❛ we’re too far from help. ❜
❛ monsters are even more scary when you see them afraid. ❜
❛ we carry our own loneliness with us. ❜
❛ fake happiness beats genuine misery. ❜
❛ they always trust me to be someone who i don’t even want to be. ❜
❛ i cannot see where i want to go, only that i want the going.❜
❛ you are never here. you are always almost there. ❜
❛ you and me will die the way we lived, telling ourselves stories to make it mean something. ❜
caedxs:
“… this place seems to have changed a little. … not like it matters.”
"The world doesn’t wait for anyone. "
a reminder that I love Eren and he's been on my mind all day bless him
hyorei:
HE SHOULDN’T HAVE expected any less of a reaction. A world seemingly terrorized by the beasts that lurk beyond those walls, the land’s people struggling to survive in a world where ( uniquely ) the humans are aware of their status as the weaker link.
❝I’m afraid I’m ignorant to those monsters.❞
"I wish I could envy you... "
IGNORANCE IS BLISS, they say; ignorance is a falsehood he wish he knew. To escape the terrors, horrors, nights spent in ceaseless wake, to eliminate the FEAR that claws from his mind to his flesh -- how he wishes he knew relief. ( This is the life you chose, soldier. Take it & work for it. )
"Beasts that thrive on the lives of humans...
There’s still a lot we don’t know...
You’re not the only one. I’ve seen them.
They are........ "
( Hold your breath, you can’t stop now. )
"I’d do my best to keep my distance if I were you. "
ernesto.
auconis:
and it is with equal vacancy that he drifts in distant thought, his mind a buried canvas ( a canvas not adorned with simple burdens, but tainted and stained red ). fixation dulls the senses, the air threatens to consume him whole—until a certain weight pulls him from his trance, grounding him in reality once more.
“ if you wanted my attention that badly, you could’ve just said so, yeah? ”
"Huh ? "
MIND’S CURRENT ERADICATED, he loses what wandered betwixt each wonder. Pulled from his state of absence & thrown into the cruel & yet confusing reality, he knows not what another speaks of -- that is, until motion is cast against the nerves of his foot, & he’d move it in silence from another’s space. Only his eyes make a surprised contact for a moment before he speaks.
"I didn’t want it.
... Why were you standing here ? "
hyorei:
—warofwill
WITH STRICT ORDERS, the Captain has dwelled in the World of the Living far longer than he anticipated. With his appearance having ( expectantly ) drawn plenty of attention, his strides have lengthened; the Gigai in which he currently resides growing tired.
❝—Tell me, what are those things outside these walls?❞ His words come off rather harshly, but he’s in a hurry to leave.
"Are you joking? "
NO CRUELTY CALLS from his lips, only curiosity filling mind as would his thoughts as he’d close his eyes. Astonishing, how one could not know of the horrors that have devoured even his life ( but you are those horrors, child, you are one THEM ). To believe one offered nothing more than a jest would serve as the only assumption in reason.
@warofwill
HE KNOWS HIS CURSE, how could he not when they’ve strung it ‘round his neck, gossip heavy attached to barbed wire noose ( they’ll kill you before the titans do & you, weary child, will let them ) and as result there is an apology attached to somber smile; this boy is going to die and they will all know who will be at fault.
❛ I’m surprised they assigned you to be on a team with me. You are, after all, our ‘ hope ’; it wouldn’t be good if something were to happen to you. ❜
"I don’t believe in superstition. "
SHALLOW TALES WHICH turn from one pair of lips to another make no influence on another’s impression. Little does he mind death’s idea before his morals, his comrades, his line of duty ( it is when you are alone that you find your true fear ) & he’d brush himself aside in selfish attempt to stand for his beliefs. ( Do THEY mean nothing to you ? ) He would not be swayed by the propositions of others, true or false.