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justmigrate

Hi,

I just moved my posts from Posterous! Do go though my blog for all the new posts.

Its easy to migrate try JustMigrate

3Crumbs app - Are you the local thrifter we all have been looking for?

14 ：Anonymous：2012/08/18(土) 09:27:45.04 ID:zB55s+PS0

I'm gay and I always play girl characters.

If I make a male character, I worry so much about my character's appearance that I can't focus on the game!

I'll level up a bit, and then decide that this character is no good after all. Then, I start over again.

I think that there are many gays who choose to play as girl characters.

#2channel #video games #japan

I'll get my shit together next month. (来月から本気だす）

Popular kopipe (copy-paste) meme on 2channel, taken from the Nico wiki. Here is something short to get the blog started.

January: If I work too hard now, I'll just tire myself out. I'll get my shit together in February.

Feburary: It's still cold. I can't muster up any motivation. I'll get my shit together in March.

March: It's the end of the fiscal year, bad timing. I'll get my shit together in April.

April: The changing of seasons has a bad effect on your health. I'll get my shit together in May.

May: I missed out on having a fresh start in April. I'll get my shit together in June.

June: It's the rainy season, which just depresses me. When it ends, I'll get my shit together in July.

July: The temperature just keeps on rising! I'll preserve my strength by getting my shit together in August.

August: It's too hot, weakening my willpower. I'll get my shit together in September.

September: Summer vacation has made me lazy. There's no reason to overdo anything so I'll get my shit together in October.

October: Kind of a half-assed time to start anything. I will bide my time. I'll get my shit together in November.

November: It's suddenly gotten very cold. It wouldn't be wise to strain yourself in times like these. I'll get my shit together in December.

December: Well, the year's already over. I didn't get my chance this year. I'll get my shit together next year.

#japanese #2channel #meme #procrastination #kopipe #copy-pasta #excuses

I have an old blog over here with lots of 2ch goodies and translations. I will move posts over eventually.

#japan #2channel #matome #japanese culture

Translation: Realities girls refuse to admit

Realities girls refuse to admit for some reason

なぜか女が絶対に認めたがらない事実

Here's one that shows a little about how gender roles work in Japan. In general, I'd say they're much more 'traditional' here.

P.S. Sorry I didn't update for so long. I was busy. I guess.

1 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 16:53:22.21 ID:r8A3jzpv0

Guys don't give a shit about your nails

4 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 16:54:51.51 ID:4tLZqXOV0

That I'm such a hot dude

7 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 16:55:40.41 ID:xWyO1tvZ0

I like it when they keep them clean and tidy but I don't like it when they overdo them

12 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 16:57:48.28 ID:ETn+9NAI0

That raising a kid isn't actually a 365 day a year 24 hour job.

15 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 16:58:30.60 ID:KAlwvA7a0

I like clean manicured nails but when I don't want to see nails that look like cakes and shit

25 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:00:56.10 ID:YRe/QK2di

Beware of girls who wear fake eyelashes!

40 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:05:07.11 ID:yhTzj6ow0

Rather than super skinny bitches, guys like girls with a little meat on them that feel good to hug

51 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:07:50.72 ID:oGENd2OC0

I don't know if they refuse to admit it or just don't understand it but

The reason guys pay for your shit. They are under the impression that guys are just supposed treat them.

60 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:11:51.65 ID:oGENd2OC0

That "girl power" (heh) actually has the opposite effect on attracting guys

[Unlike in America where it's some kind of vaguely feminist idea, "girl power" (女子力) in Japan is the a girl's ability to fulfill traditionally feminine roles by doing things like pouring drinks, cooking food, etc -Ed.]

61 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:12:08.83 ID:dI8ck7IE0

Girls say things like "herbivore men" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbivore_men) but really there's just less girls who are appealing

75 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:19:57.66 ID:4kWMPOjI0

I don't care about breast size

76 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:20:18.03 ID:Uz3DI5S90

You look really ugly without makeup

77 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:20:59.12 ID:4YFhSfUm0

That what girls think is cute and what guys think is cute is totally different

78 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:23:01.35 ID:WY8agfID0

Housewives aren't that busy

84 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:25:13.75 ID:jFxp9Knv0

Sex just gets bothersome after you do it 3 times with the same person

86 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:25:32.97 ID:c7wNTr050

They refuse to admit they're the bad guy in human relations

Instead they just gather a bunch of other girls and sympathize with each other

95 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:31:14.94 ID:hi46MejW0

Don't talk shit about my friends in front of me when you're obviously the one in the wrong

Also, don't cry when I point that out

96 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:32:26.92 ID:XJ1ogARI0

Girls who take care of not just guys but other girls too are good girls

98 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:34:37.10 ID:beO5iC3+0

Being fat

They say "I'm just chubby!" and refuse to admit it

105 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:41:55.59 ID:7v+hSBwyi

I went to go eat some Udon and this gyaru sitting next to me had some long-ass fake nails on

She used her nails to scoop out some seasoning instead of a spoon…

Even though it's from a jar put on the table that everyone uses…

115 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:49:01.73 ID:ImLZuj090

Why do you think their face with makeup replied is their real face?

Hey, why? Why? Why?

120 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:53:47.77 ID:wtmXFSWz0

They say they're "strong women" but the only reason they can say that is because they're under the protection of men

121 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 17:54:37.08 ID:cl/LDBlj0

The compulsion to fit in with others in Japanese society is terribly strong

If you're a girl it's even worse. I feel bad for them. I'm glad I'm a guy

154 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 18:15:44.05 ID:iDpQRqB3O

Girls don't do their nails for guys so they don't care what you think

170 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/03/16(金) 18:28:06.63 ID:gcdZo0ht0

Well, I think that basically all girls are docile and cute

Except how they get jealous of other girls and yell at them and stuff

#JustMigrate

Translation: Have you ever fucked over your part-time job?

Have you ever fucked over your part-time job?

バイトで一番やらかしたミスや事故未遂ある？

Sorry for the delay! Here's some proof everyone makes mistakes!

1 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:51:58.04 ID:9VBlbSrx0

I haven't. I've screwed up little things a few times though.

Do your worst.

14 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:55:59.30 ID:wUe14gtf0

I flipped over a cart with a bunch of glass tables

16 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:56:26.32 ID:mak+rVK50

Everyone freaked out about 50,000 yen [$650] disappearing from the register and blamed me for it.

Pissed me off.

It was all because of this fat fuck who didn't count right. I heard this later, but apparently my shitty manager doubted every employee.

19 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:56:57.80 ID:Z6eidnmC0

I was entrusted to take care of this huge fish take we had in our shop.

A few days later the fish were annihilated.

24 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:57:57.72 ID:VapGi2tQ0

I microwaved a bento with the mayo packet attached and it exploded.

25 名前：忍法帖【Lv=20,xxxPT】 [] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 11:58:05.55 ID:NyS6mxQq0

I screwed up and punched the wrong guy's time card out.

They were really pissed at me, but it's a good memory now.

28 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:00:13.14 ID:u4SBvScb0

I was supposed to be setting up a table for a private room at the restaurant, but when I came to I realized I had laid down and passed out.

30 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:00:27.83 ID:KNS6YagNO

During Christmas I accidentally sold 1000 yen chicken for 100 yen.

They were really lucky.

31 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:00:55.17 ID:k0880cn90

I destroyed the register and knocked over 50 freshly washed glasses. Big disaster.

The manager seriously cried.

35 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:02:06.45 ID:lRqDfHQj0

I gave a Yakuza guy a flyer, he came to the store all complaining like "Are you fucking with me?!"

That was the end of my shift so I punched out and slipped away.

39 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:03:36.72 ID:NqpGpLt3O

I put diesel gas in a high octane car lolololololol

45 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:04:58.49 ID:oG5BEHnm0

I ran into the building with my car

Apparently the whole building shook

47 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:06:08.71 ID:w7LU3ZA90

A customer complained that they paid $100 but didn't get change.

Even though I was in the middle of working, I counted all the money in the register and we were only like 10 yen short so it was OK.

59 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:12:21.37 ID:j1liDZeE0

>>47

I had the same shit happen to me

This old lady made some false accusations, and said she'd come back later and apologize if she found the money at home. I hung around after my shift to hear her out.

20 minutes after the promised time, she finally showed out.

All she said was,

「I didn't expect to see such an unrefined guy. hahaha But, really, I'm glad I found it.」

and left.

Huh? Where'd my apology go?

55 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:10:11.77 ID:0iXIWZgw0

I meant to order 8 bottles of mayonnaise but I accidentally punched in 80.

The next day a mountain of mayo arrived.

61 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:13:05.85 ID:P/8kejy80

In the middle of giving a massage I fell asleep.

67 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:14:37.21 ID:9HyhUwBx0

I went and took a shit and tried to flush but nothing happened.

"Huh?" I thought. I tried flushing it again and a shitload of water come gushing out.

If I had quit there it would have been barely OK, but I had some kind of feeling that the next flush would be a good one and flushed it again.

Ah, come to the think of it, the cleaning lady said she was going to train a cleaning person (young guy) today. I thought "Oh shit, what have I done!" as I escaped.

70 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:16:07.47 ID:tQckL6AX0

Izakaya (Japanese pub type thing):

I gave table A's check to table B

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

To deal with this, an employee gave table B's check to table A. Izakayas are scary.

73 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:16:54.65 ID:DUnz+6BIO

Working room service at a hotel, I brought some food to a room and a foreign guy came out

Not knowing what to say, I thought I might as well just go ahead and went in to set the table up. There was a lady in her underwear there.

I was only a 16 year-old kid so forgive me, gaijin.

75 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:17:58.59 ID:wp0tdqEFO

Beer bukkake

79 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:20:18.21 ID:6q3IWLsW0

I forgot to give the customer some of their stuff once

I guess they didn't notice anything

84 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:22:13.26 ID:HTJPzU/EO

Placed an order for 620 weird kebabs

89 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:23:35.54 ID:iA4vDVr0I

Working at a restaurant, I threw the wrong kind of oil in the fryer and a fire broke out.

I flipped shit and put it out quick but the smell was awful.

90 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:24:14.80 ID:oG5BEHnm0

I fucked up driving a forklift at a liquor store and broke a whole stack of beer cases

92 名前：忍法帖【Lv=25,xxxPT】 [] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:24:45.33 ID:s2A5M5Tz0

I was working at a chain restaurant and the register had a big line.

I meant to press the button to call for another employee to come help but I hit the security alarm instead.

The alarm sounded, and policemen came in.

The store manager wasn't there so the alarm kept on until I could call him and ask to turn it off.

93 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:25:01.75 ID:Wi5d/7pj0

When I was teaching at a summer camp for a cram school, I got the class time wrong and headed to the hot spring to take a bath

With steam wafting from me I got yelled at by my boss

And while that was all happening a student took a video of it and leaked it to everyone on the mailing list

96 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:27:04.47 ID:gKvw7RgIO

I hit the gas hose and it broke

I forgot to close the gas gap and sent a customer away

97 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:28:27.86 ID:ktG2L1nF0

When I was working at a ramen joint

The owner spent 2 months making a new kind of ramen, and I spilled the noodles all over the floor

I got yelled at so much I went home and cried

98 名前：忍法帖【Lv=40,xxxPT】 [] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:29:26.65 ID:gUlD4jQY0

I have fond memories of losing the security system key and causing 450,000 [$5,700] yen of damages.

100 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:30:50.32 ID:KNS6YagN0

You people lose too much money lolololol

101 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:31:59.46 ID:ZCFYFcAT0

They fired me before I could cause any damages

105 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:32:59.17 ID:nQTeTTKl0

Being seen taking a shit by a girl in our unisex bathroom at the tender age of 15・・・

106 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:33:37.77 ID:YpRrKXgV0

I blew up some bento mayonnaise in the microwave at my convenience store

I threw away the mayonnaise and got a new one,

when the store manager, who was looking at the surveillance camera, said "There was an explosion, huh" and glared at me

109 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:35:05.32 ID:bvJQdPBQ0

Working at a gas station I ran into a car… twice…

110 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:35:22.19 ID:O+kNYiHT0

Just fucking with our digital time cards

111 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:36:05.01 ID:Ib3Q4bQW0

I've also tripped the alarm before

I left some stuff at work so I went back to get it, I must have passed the manager on his way out and got locked in.

Once I got to the first floor the alarm starting making a bunch of noise, I freaked out

Security systems are pretty crazy

114 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:37:52.27 ID:Ld8u87M5O

It wasn't me, but once an old lady opened the lid on her miso soup and found a floor cleaning towel submerged in it

117 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:40:41.54 ID:dHqojQRh0

I knocked over 30 dishes in a single blow

Made a pretty ridiculous sound

118 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:41:53.47 ID:UFW0tgAT0

Me「So… when can you start working?」

Girl「From Wednesday is fine. 」

Me「… Coming to an interview looking like that, did you intend to seduce me?」

Girl「What?」

Me「You understand, right?」

Girl「・・・」

Me「What a naughty girl.」

In the end, she turned down the offer.

Well, it's something that happens a lot.

131 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:51:17.23 ID:rPojao640

Working at a factory, I tripped and accidentally hit every single emergency stop switch

143 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:58:06.41 ID:TV4fYD+e0

I shit my pants lololololol

Even now I'm working at the same place loll

145 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 12:58:48.15 ID:6vb7NhHG0

>>143

They're probably calling you "Shit-Man" in their minds

153 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 13:04:18.93 ID:53iIWqMAO

When I was working at a restaurant, at a super busy time I ate food with a customer

172 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 13:17:00.26 ID:giOR+Y8aO

I forgot to shut the button cap on the fryer so when I tried to change the oil it just flowed right out

173 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 13:17:38.57 ID:rSwm6FyVO

Was supposed to place an order for 50 cases, put in 500

183 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 13:29:44.59 ID:D/SwYQxt0

When I was working at a convenience store,

I forgot to place the waste oil bucket, so when I tried to clean the fryer oil just spilled all over the floor

Before the morning shift people came, I frantically cleaned it up

No one ever came to that place after 2AM so it was pretty easy

206 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/02/08(水) 15:16:49.57 ID:iskmSX3H0

I put a pube hair in some food I made

#JustMigrate

Translation: Mean Guys Get More Money, Women, Study Says

Recently, a study found that meaner people earn more money, and meaner guys get more girls. What does 2channel think about this?

From http://blog.livedoor.jp/news23vip/archives/3954844.html

Study finds mean people earn more money

The phrase “Nice guys finish last” appears to be the case in who gets paid the most.

According to a study by several researches, “agreeable” workers make significantly lower than their less agreeable counterparts, with the gap being wider among men.

More at The Raw Story

＜Mean guys get the girls＞

Let's take a look at a study from NYU conducted 3 years ago.

It seems that girls prefer slightly cold-hearted guys instead of humble ones. This can be explained by physiology, not psychology. "Manly guys excrete lots of testosterone, so girls have a tendency to be attracted to them." However, testosterone is a hormone that causes men to be more aggressive; at a glance, an uncooperative guy with a bad personality. It seems that this is why women prefer men with a scent of danger about them. Of course, the report continues that being popular with women is just one part of romantic relationships.

This is all I can take. Uncooperative guys have an image of being selfish, conceited, and refusing to take responsibility for their actions. Even so, their salaries are higher, and they get all the women! Starting tomorrow, I'm just going to ignore anyone who greets me and become a jerk.

Source：ゲンダイネット

http://news.livedoor.com/article/detail/5900893/

4 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(京都府)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:30:52.77 ID:XFL5nh290

Wow, you guys are popular with the ladies?

6 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:31:26.84 ID:fe6KrEqC0

>>4

No, not at all.

19 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東日本)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:34:01.81 ID:YnKz0r/V0

>>4

× Bad personality

√ Crazy

312 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(チベット自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 17:27:27.27 ID:9rLciJcv0

>>4

√ Bad personality

√ Idiot

11 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:32:46.34 ID:9M3P0CPG0

I bet if I met any of you fuckers in real life, you'd be super polite.

16 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(茨城県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:33:53.64 ID:PWwX5S4q0

> The nicer the guy is, the lower is salary.

I'm a jerk with a low salary, apologize!

24 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(大阪府)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:35:29.25 ID:M74nhrsd0

It's just that guys who get lots of girls seem like assholes to us

30 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(神奈川県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:36:24.73 ID:qudBZ1Wp0

> Women are attracted to men who excrete more testosterone

If that were true, bald guys would be getting all the chicks.

QED

39 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(WiMAX)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:38:19.40 ID:4zT8vGQL0

Shut upーー! No matter what you say, unpopular guys are unpopularーーー

46 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:40:05.52 ID:8eZYUljL0

So this means 2channel is full of ladies men

53 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(北海道)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:40:49.17 ID:uYqFHApx0

＞Starting tomorrow, I'm just going to ignore anyone who greets me and become a jerk.

I'd like to point out this great ending line

56 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(長崎県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:41:12.78 ID:ayjguRaS0

Well, the more of a shameless idiot a girl is, the better she looks

Serious girls are all ugly

62 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(神奈川県)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:42:05.25 ID:ymGsjVps0

Whoa, I have a good personality?

67 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(チベット自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:43:08.30 ID:Y+4b5Y5G0

"Diligent", "nice", "good person"

These are just things people tell you when they've got nothing else to praise

70 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:43:42.41 ID:eK7Dkr5i0

There's definitely more assholes than nice people in the world.

As for guys who are popular with girls, I doubt the ratio changes much.

It's all about looks

72 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:43:54.85 ID:9aKWVaB40

It's not so much about personality but how you do things.

For example, if you hang out with guy friends all the time you don't have time for girls.

In the end, you'll become a nice guy who isn't popular with girls.

76 名前：忍法帖【Lv=25,xxxPT】 (茸)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:44:57.39 ID:csEuEafN0

You people are just crazy. Don't get carried away.

93 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:49:45.62 ID:d/cbuNm/P

You people seem to be good people at first, but you're actually jerks.

This is the worst pattern.

101 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(内モンゴル自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:51:28.63 ID:kL586CS1O

It's not exactly about whether you have a bad personality,

In society, the stronger are those who stand out and make a lot of noise.

People who shut up and keep to themselves are hard to judge even if they're doing their work correctly.

107 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(庭)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:54:02.72 ID:/bE4iYRY0

While it may be true that thinking "I'm unpopular because I'm a nice guy" is wrong,

turns out it's all just because you're the scum of society.

I coud cry…

115 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(神奈川県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 14:56:13.82 ID:k5lNQuU+0

The people on this board don't just have a bad personality, they're trash.

There's no way you could get girls.

134 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(新潟・東北)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:01:10.38 ID:zPPQ1APrO

I have a bad job and a bad personality and I don't get any girls! I'm good for nothing!

137 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(静岡県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:02:00.16 ID:U26eY8yN0

＞Starting tomorrow, I'm just going to ignore anyone who greets me and become a jerk

Lately, there are lots of girls like this too.

Every morning, I greet schoolgirls but they always ignore me.

149 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:07:57.62 ID:OykuJA3F0

So all of your guys' "high salary = gets girls" shit was true?

150 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(長野県)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:08:10.21 ID:j2frJssq0

My personality must be wonderful!

164 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:13:23.63 ID:nDysvkbx0

It's not that their personality is bad, they know what they're doing. They're sly.

It's not that their personality is good, they don't know what they're doing. They're stupidly honest.

171 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(iPhone)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:17:43.10 ID:Sk+JJjQI0

I get this

People way uglier than me who are totally full of themselves make all kinds of passes at girls at the beginning of the school year, and they somehow get them.

177 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東日本)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:20:53.77 ID:9uozpIZ90

More accurately,

More money → More girls → Worse personality

Like that.

178 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(兵庫県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:21:13.35 ID:SFggwTfE0

Wow, you guys must get tons of girls!

185 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(チベット自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:26:19.56 ID:EXaRZfF10

I think that people who get made fun of and take it with stride, hitting on girls are the most popular.

190 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(長野県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:30:04.33 ID:fKznF50e0

If you read shoujo manga you'll understand

A kinda delinquent character is usually the love interest

Diligent, intellectual characters who don't stand out but can make lots of interesting conversation aren't even allowed to exist.

208 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(iPhone)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:46:54.00 ID:tdPKFdoU0

I'll just turn into an asshole, get a raise, and start raking in the ladies

212 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(九州地方)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:48:34.96 ID:d9WNJJ0vO

People who act like adults, diffident people, doormats, and people who can read others' moods are usually taking a loss, they don't get girls

219 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:51:18.94 ID:dAEgkX4Q0

I have a bad face, a bad personality, and a bad brain

I've got all 3 so why the hell don't I have girls or money?

226 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(iPhone)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:54:22.04 ID:R1zb8gQHi

People who act like jerks at restaurants and stuff get better service

235 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(dion軍)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 15:57:16.34 ID:iuI5dGOX0

>>226

It's because people who act modestly get taken advantage of

245 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(関東・甲信越)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:07:54.91 ID:jYWYrrTiO

How come you guys have terrible personalities but no money or women?

248 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(福岡県)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:10:17.43 ID:C3tVvAta0

>>245

It's that we don't conform with society.

255 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(茨城県)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:12:56.85 ID:VSE0WNlL0

You guys can only show your terrible personalities online. In real life you can't do anything but run about and kiss ass.

277 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(内モンゴル自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:32:24.56 ID:leaeyXBQ0

How do people become friends with guys who always talk shit about everyone?

They're definitely getting shit-talked too.

I think it's strange.

292 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(dion軍)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:48:28.09 ID:vxG569hU0

Here's your resume, everyone.

Qualifications ＝ Normal

Special skill ＝ Guitar

Hobbies ＝ Listening to music・Watching movies

Strong point ＝ Nice

299 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(西日本)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 16:57:14.88 ID:NxtgHFzn0

I knew it!

You're all a bunch of rich womanizers after all.

303 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(東京都)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 17:01:39.30 ID:614FSPNz0

It's not so much about having a bad personality, but being more aggressive and dominant. They can't get enough of it.

308 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(チベット自治区)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 17:18:15.58 ID:9tP6ooYs0

Well, they say bad boys rule the world.

309 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(京都府)[] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 17:21:30.74 ID:/bMngmCv0

Everyone has a bad personality.

People who ignore what people think about them are the ones who make it.

314 名前：名無しさん＠涙目です。(茸)[sage] 投稿日：2011/09/30(金) 17:31:20.81 ID:8pSfUhNe0

Well, if you're good looking your personality doesn't matter, right?

#JustMigrate

Translation: Level 8 Despair

Imagine if you could quantify despair by levels somehow, like in an RPG. What would Level 8 Despair be like?

Despair around Level 8

1 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:15:42.00 ID:p0+NPryv0

Spilling soup on freshly-washed clothes

5 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:16:16.72 ID:0cNOxzAb0

Only having 2 cigarettes left

6 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:16:18.84 ID:j3Xj+vF80

Not having enough tissues

7 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:16:20.95 ID:upUT9Sz70

Call of nature in the middle of an exam

8 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:16:28.48 ID:PrM5jkha0

Dropping your smart phone on the ground

11 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:16:50.13 ID:NPKNoPQV0

Forgetting your textbook when you've got no friends

15 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:17:17.83 ID:wx5r2Ywf0

Waking up 30 minutes before your alarm

19 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:17:42.11 ID:leiLY4LR0

When a bunch of assholes come into the bathroom while you're trying to take a dump

29 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:18:40.63 ID:IGBnLvYY0

Your little brother loses his virginity

31 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:18:44.04 ID:5Qnarom90

Something gets sold out right before you try to buy it

32 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:18:52.58 ID:lIHl+NAl0

You're at Karaoke and your nose gets blocked

35 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:19:24.64 ID:xN6wZsD80

When you're taking a shit and a Last Exile hangs between your pole and your hole

37 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:19:33.47 ID:+xnIztsU0

30 minutes after you leave the house, you realize you forget your cell phone

38 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:19:44.48 ID:u955x+Xp0

9PM on a Sunday

42 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:20:33.40 ID:f/eTtyEb0

Forgetting to bring a watch to an exam

43 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:20:33.97 ID:Wp+RdeF70

Realizing you're out of toothpaste in the morning

58 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:22:53.95 ID:AGOvrUkY0

Realizing you've been filling in the wrong bubbles on a test and you've only got 1 minute left

59 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:23:29.26 ID:VPBefuObO

Being surrounded by a bunch of homos

163 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 02:04:48.32 ID:gHsGvubE0

>>59

That's the best!

61 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:23:43.40 ID:JatVyItN0

When you're trying to extend the lead of your mechanical pencil and you push the wrong end

67 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:24:57.04 ID:XFUVkTVi0

Semen getting on your floor or couch

76 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:26:03.93 ID:8cBn1fpe0

Diarrhea at a friend's house

77 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:26:18.71 ID:yUP4V2TA0

Ramen shops taking holidays

81 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:26:43.44 ID:Y+T7AhFE0

Having to shit during a test

That made me break out in a cold sweat. I felt like I was going to die and it lasted forever.

84 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:27:37.99 ID:ZwEIpYVf0

Save data corruption

89 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:28:46.24 ID:T29M7R5j0

Farting in a quiet classroom

97 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:30:26.48 ID:5oO9qiQT0

When the sound gets fucked up on newly bought speakers

107 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:32:51.11 ID:NCFGrfaD0

The moment when you look in the mirror after school and notice you've had a huge booger hanging out of your nose

116 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:35:41.46 ID:luySuuel0

You wake up just when you're not sure whether you can make it to class on time or not

118 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:36:16.78 ID:jTvLNqFi0

You wake up after taking a little nap and it's nighttime

133 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:42:37.81 ID:DChN1P3n0

Getting a pimple on your nose

134 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 00:42:41.50 ID:VlNaPgo20

When you squeeze the very last bit of toothpaste out of the tube and it falls in the sink

158 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 01:34:00.47 ID:dPM9PZxo0

When you can't connect to the internet for some reason

159 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 01:38:09.03 ID:ILSDAkfy0

>>158

For me that's about Level 70

165 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 02:12:43.86 ID:fQ17gImm0

Dropping chopsticks you're trying to use

166 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 02:24:37.14 ID:E1kiK+b40

You're 10 yen short

167 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/30(月) 02:32:02.76 ID:OuDsPymMO

Realizing you've got no toilet paper after taking a shit

#JustMigrate

Translation: Virgin Girl Goes to a Love Hotel with Internet Guy

Story of a Virgin Girl Going to a Love Hotel with a Guy She Met on an Internet Dating Site

http://blog.livedoor.jp/nicovip2ch/archives/1740917.html

This one is a good example of one poster telling a long personal story. It's pretty graphic, so I don't suggest reading it if you don't like that kind of thing.

1 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:25:49.16 ID:fUkm4lYLO

Hello, good day

I'm bored so I'll start writing

7 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:33:12.20 ID:FbVi8n3e0

This will be pretty shitty but,

let's say that clicking this was fate and stick with me for a bit.

8 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:35:26.99 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Well, guess I'll start from my specs

１９ years old

１５４cm tall

Ｃ cup breasts

Black hair

I don't like cucumbers or spinach

16 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:42:34.91 ID:0V4vsHsy0

Old man… what the hell are you up to?

14 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:39:08.43 ID:P+namPeM0

Good job meeting someone from a dating site

Having no sense of danger is pretty impressive

21 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:45:49.36 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>14

Certainly. Totally.

I began using dating sites a week ago.

I wanted to have sex, so I posted something like

「Want to watch movies and relax at a love hotel？」

So I got a bunch of messages inviting me out

I'm so popular

23 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:49:38.02 ID:FbVi8n3e0

But the messages I got were all from 30-50 year old men.

I prayed. "Come on, young men！！" One came.

「I won't do anything weird. Let's hang out♪」

25 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:50:13.77 ID:1Fup51ysO

If that's what you want then I suppose it's fine, but

little old me just got a little depressed

22 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:49:15.32 ID:QUHwFXgA0

What was the creepiest message you got?

28 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:52:35.92 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>22

Hmm, I wonderー。

The contents of all of them was basically the same,

but this guy's real e-mail address was gross,

「aiko.arigato@～」

[Aiko, thank you@~]

kind of e-mail address.

Spelling out words, are you a child?！

By the way, my e-mail in elementary school was

「remioromen.utadahikaru.ootukaai-daisuki@～」

[I love Remioromen, Utada Hikaru, Ootsuka Ai@~]

[Most of my friends use random letters/numbers in their e-mail addresses -ed.]

31 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:56:32.79 ID:QUHwFXgA0

>>28

There must be stuff like this on dating sites:

「◯◯-chan's boobs are cute～^^」、

「I want to licky lick ◯◯ちゃん>< I have confidence!」 and stuff

None of that?

36 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:02:18.56 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>31

There were "pure" and "adult" message boards,

I posted on the "pure" one, so

I didn't get much of anything like that～。

29 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:54:08.80 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Specs for the guy who mailed me

２３ years old, male

１７５cm tall

Body: normal

Yearly wage: ３００～６００万 [$40,000 - $80,000]

It was the first young guy so,

I figured I might as well just go and met him immediately

30 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:55:43.81 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Our meeting place was

a certain game center in T prefecture's capital.

There were punk kids everywhere.

Where's the public order? heheh

And then I ran into a fire extinguisher box with my car in the parking lot

33 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 19:59:39.23 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Let's call the guy I met Fujita-san.

Me 「Just got to the parking lotー」

Fujita 「I'm already hereー。The white carー。What floor are you on now？」

Me 「Ummmm、３？」

Fujita 「I'm at the 2nd」

Me 「Okay I'll head over there now」

Fujita 「OK－」

As I attempted to take the stairs to the 2nd floor,

Me 「This is the 2nd floor！」

Shocker! This was not the 3rd floor, but the 2nd floor!

36 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:02:18.56 ID:FbVi8n3e0

So I met Fujita-san.

Fujita 「Ah、hello」

Me 「Hello！」

He's hot！

He's so hot I have to wonder why he's using dating sites。

He looks like the guy who sings on Okaasan to Issho.

Hot, right？

Anyway, I got in his car and we went to go eat。

38 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:04:41.15 ID:FbVi8n3e0

I had him take us to a nice Italian style restaurant.

To be honest, this kind of fancy restaurant was a first for me so I was salivating like crazy.

I looked at the menu and yep, it was expensive.

400 yen orange juice! Amazing!

However, Fujita-san orders and orders without hesitation.

Working guys are really amazing.

However, the food that came was all onions and tamanegi。

42 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:07:02.88 ID:FbVi8n3e0

"You fucker lololololol My breath's gonna stink lololololol"

"There's no way breath mints will save you now lololololol"

My thoughts as I ate.

Something leafy arrived, but to be honest, it was bad.

Rabbits are amazing.

So we talked for an hour, and left the restaurant.

Yep, stinky breath.

41 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:06:46.79 ID:P+namPeM0

You think 400 yen [$5] orange juice is expensive?

Is this what the virgin lifestyle is like?

46 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:10:28.84 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>41

No, no, you're just a spoiled rich son a bitch.

47 忍法帖【Lv=16,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:10:46.19 ID:l0mYNtEa0

I'll just go ahead and tell this to you, but onions and tamanegi are the same thing.

48 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:12:03.18 ID:P+namPeM0

>>47

I never noticed until just now lololololol

50 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:13:25.09 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>47

Oh shit！！！！

I thought "onion" [in English] was garlic！

What's the English for garlic, again?

How embarrassing.

54 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:15:17.29 ID:HhyoGXO50

>>50

"gaarikku", right?

53 忍法帖【Lv=16,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:15:15.60 ID:l0mYNtEa0

>>50

Well it's not like that's information you needed to know to survive so don't worry about it

46 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:10:28.84 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「So, to the love hotel?」

Me 「Oh, yeah. lol （Oh god, my breath stinks」

Fujita 「I wonder where would be goodー」

Me 「Somewhere with video games！！」

Fujita 「Wha-?」

Me 「I wanna play Wii！」

Fujita 「Wha････ah、okay＾＾：」

He looked up love hotels where you can rent game consoles with his phone.

But it seems like you can do that anywhere,

so we went somewhere with a fancy schmancy name.

49 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:12:41.55 ID:FbVi8n3e0

So we went to the cheapest room.

Saturday's more expensive so even though it was the cheapest, it was about 5000 yen [$65]

Working guys are amazing!

Me 「There's video games here, right?」

Fujita 「Should I ask？」

Me 「Yes！」

Fujita 「（On the phone）Oh, I see～」

*beep*

Me 「What happened？！」

Fujita 「They're all being used right now」

Me 「Eh!」

Fujita 「Eh！」

Me 「Eh！」

Fujita 「Well, this place should be fine」

Me 「Eh！」

55 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:15:48.91 ID:FbVi8n3e0

"What a pushy fucker," I thought as I entered our room.

I was moved.

My image of what a love hotel would be was nothing but a bed and some tissues. A dirty place.

But this was as spacious as a castle!

It was as fancy schmancy as the name would suggest.

60 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:21:16.63 ID:2xev/9yS0

My little sister says "fancy schmancy" too･･･

61 忍法帖【Lv=16,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:21:26.11 ID:l0mYNtEa0

There's all kinds of love hotels, you know

One I went to in high school was just tatami mats and a futon

52 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:14:54.76 ID:xXpo1l210

Why'd you decide to use a dating site?

59 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:20:21.01 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>52

I had my heart broken

Thought I might as well throw some more on top of it

By the way, Fujita-san's butt and back were great.

Good enough to record in my Butts and Backs Best Album.

Fujita 「Well, there's no video games, so wanna watch a movie or something？」

Me 「Movies！ Yes！ What do they have?！」

Fujita 「Let's see...」

Me 「Paranormal Activity！！！」

Fujita 「Horror！」

Me 「Let's watch it！」

Fujita 「OK！」

So the room got dark, and the movie began.

63 忍法帖【Lv=40,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:22:15.22 ID:1UwzmEvq0

When did this take place？

66 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:24:40.55 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>63

Recently.

Last Friday.

It was actually Saturday by now though.

65 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:23:53.01 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「・・・・」

Booring!

Totally boring.

I got tired of it in 10 minutes.

By the way, me and Fujita-san were together in a double bed.

You could fit 3 babies in the space between us.

As I was thinking about how boring the movie was, a terribly naughty scene came up.

Woman 『The bath is really nice』

Man 『Haha. Yeah.』

Woman 『Hey, it's just us two you know？』

Man 『Yeah･･･』

Like that.

It would be a terrible scene to watch with your parents. Super awkward.

69 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:27:04.20 ID:aLIa4t+lO

So you got your cherry popped and thrown away?

67 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:24:44.63 ID:gNo3anLD0

Anyway, I've taken off my underwear

70 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:27:09.69 ID:euAc+ixB0

So slow! Hurry the fuck up!

71 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:27:17.45 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「（American's sex moans are amazing, huh...）」

I thought that as

at last

Fujita

made a move!

Fujita 「Can I get closer？」

then he stroked my hair.

Me 「Umm, well...」

I drove the hand stroking my hair away.

I had my hair done up with hair spray then, so to be honest I didn't watch it being touched.

I didn't want him to think my hair was crusty.

74 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:29:46.10 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Then he started feeling my hand, like drawing a circle on it.

"Wow, really?" I thought.

But I decided just a hand is no big deal, so I focused on the movie.

Fujita 「When did you break up with your boyfriend？」

Me 「Ummm,･･･２ years ago？」

Fujita 「Why？」

Me 「Ummm･･･like, it kinda just happened」

Fujita 「I see」

To be honest, I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that.

I had spiced up the conversation a bit. No, I lied.

75 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:31:06.22 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Did you ever do it with him？」

Me 「Nope」

Fujita 「So, this kind of thing is a first for you？」

Me 「Yep」

Fujita 「Really!♪」

Fujita hugged me tight.

Without thinking, I let out a voice.

The kind of voice like when a cat gets grabbed out of nowhere

80 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:33:31.70 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita-san massaged my shoulders like someone comforting a baby.

Wow, amazing, I thought.

「I'll just think of this guy as my post-heartbreak rebound and enjoy it」

I thought, deluded.

Fujita 「So cute～」

Me 「Seriously?」

Fujita 「Yep♪」

Me 「That's the first time I've heard that」

Fujita 「No way～」

79 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:33:03.44 ID:QUHwFXgA0

Shall I teach you something good?

Guys you meet from the internet who say "how cute" are 90% liars.

Because if they say that, they can fuck

92 忍法帖【Lv=16,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:36:39.95 ID:l0mYNtEa0

>>79

That's true

No matter what kind of ugly shows up, it takes effort to get them to meet you, so if you don't go ahead and fuck them it'll be a waste. That kind of thinking. So, they do their best to get you to put out.

82 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:33:54.07 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>79

Hey, stop it!

94 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:37:23.73 ID:esIbcwiP0

>>82

It's like with cats. You just kinda start wanting to say "cute".

93 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:36:57.13 ID:QUHwFXgA0

Guys aren't thinking about anything but fucking

Girls are idiots so they really do get deceived quick

97 忍法帖【Lv=16,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:40:02.85 ID:l0mYNtEa0

It's like how you spend all that time at the rental place deciding what porn to rent,

but as soon as you cum you switch it off. Same thing.

87 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:34:56.41 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Then Fujita started kissing me.

Me 「N, no！！」

Fujita 「Why？」

Me 「I've never done it before･･･」

Fujita 「No way～！」

Me 「Yep」

Fujita 「I see～.Guess it's a no then, huh」

Me 「Such a gentleman！」

Fujita 「///」 [Blush marks -ed.]

90 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:36:07.63 ID:6PZFOIfC0

*sigh*…

88 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:35:43.15 ID:euAc+ixB0

Hey, hurry the fuck up. Thanks.

95 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:38:38.63 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Then I'll just huggle ya～」

Me 「Wahaha」

Fujita 「nnn～」

Me 「I can't see the TV･･･」

Fujita 「Ah～lol sorry lololol」

Me 「Stop it！」

Fujita 「Hey, so can I kiss your nose？」

Me 「Eh」

99 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:40:28.34 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Not your mouth. Okay? Right?」

Me 「Ummmmm」

Fujita 「Right?」

I could feel the weakness in his attempts.

Me 「Okay･･･」

Fujita 「Yay！」

So he kissed and kissed.

Wow, amazing.

Just like the cat I have.

Fujita 「So cute.」

Thinking about it now, he said that in monotone.

Sorry for being ugly, my bad!

So Fujita hugged me and his arm went little by little upwards, towards my breasts

84 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:34:06.62 ID:3Vh1wvR10

There being no games was probably just Fujita lying.

He just wanted to sex you quicker.

100 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:41:08.14 ID:dZlMrnlH0

If Fujita was Pinnochio

his nose would make a lap around the Earth.

105 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:42:12.69 ID:mr4nz+vHO

>>100

lolololololol

107 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:43:07.03 ID:6PZFOIfC0

>>100

Nah, just one lap isn't enough

108 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:43:17.42 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Hey, can I touch here?」

Me 「What」

Fujita 「No？」

Me 「Nope」

Fujita 「Whaaaat～」

Me 「What」

Fujita 「I wanna touch」

Me 「（････If I don't let him touch at least my boobs,

when he has to pay the bill for the room later terrible things might happenー）」

Fujita 「Okay？」

Me 「Fine･･･」

Fujita 「Yay！」

111 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:45:03.05 ID:6PZFOIfC0

>>108

What the hell, you're just a slut

113 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:45:21.90 ID:dX+tH/ud0

I bet he's awful at it lololol gross lol

119 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:47:51.92 ID:VQ+KG7mHi

I wouldn't want this guy making moves on me

112 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:45:21.86 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Tapping and groping Fujita-san.

I don't feel anything.

Fujita 「How is it？」

I feel absolutely nothing.

115 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:46:03.18 ID:w5SI8PFg0

I met a guy on 2channel once. We went to karaoke and I felt like I was about to get kissed.

I'm a guy, though.

116 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:46:40.00 ID:6PZFOIfC0

>>115

Alright, you take over.

118 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:47:48.45 ID:FbVi8n3e0

So Fujita tried to touch my boobs directly.

Me 「Wait-」

Fujita 「Sorry, sorry, was it scary?」

Fujita quit the groping, then hugged me and rubbed my hair.

I'm telling you, my hair's gonna get fucked up.

Then I felt a sudden onslaught of drowsiness.

That's right, this morning I saw the first showing of K-ON by myself. Then I worked hard at my part-time job.

It was about 2AM.

123 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:50:25.17 ID:3Vh1wvR10

Seeing the K-ON movie by yourself…

Good job!

137 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:56:08.27 ID:s2hAYw6I0

So, you're not gonna go all the way.

122 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:50:19.50 ID:FbVi8n3e0

After a few minutes of being hugged by Fujita, he started just groping again.

I started dozing off.

Fujita 「Tired？」

Me 「Yeah」

Fujita 「Really～」

Me 「Yea-･･･！」

Fujita, what were you thinking? He teased my breasts with extreme force.

Burunburunburunnn!!!!

I can't go as far as saying it was that sound, but he violently shook them.

126 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:52:00.25 ID:zMPU3lAc0

>>122

＞Burunburunburunnn!!!!

lmao

125 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:51:56.48 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「（owwww lolololol）」

Fujita 「Hahh hahhh･･･」

Fujita's breath was getting rough.

Well, what do you expect if you move your arms so violently?

Me 「･･･」

Fujita 「*kiss* *kiss*」

He kissed my nose a lot.

Amazing.

Then he started touching above my bra.

Amazing.

130 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:53:08.53 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Your boobs are big～」

Me 「Oh really～」

Fujita 「Yep♪」

Fujita 「I wanna put my wiener in between them～」

Me 「lololololololololol no way」

Fujita 「No？」

Me 「No.」

Fujita 「Then it's a no lolololol～～lol」

132 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:53:46.14 ID:7Ue/6MAHi

Fujita…

127 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:52:28.55 ID:18rFRxyZ0

Fujita's got no experience

His moves are so terrible

133 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:54:16.57 ID:l0mYNtEa0

Is Fujita a virgin？ lol

134 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:54:31.58 ID:qB8pujJ60

Fujita's gross lol

135 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:54:49.05 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Hey」

Me 「What?」

Fujita 「Touch me here」

Taking my hand, he placed it on his crotch.

Fujita 「It got bigger///」

136 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:55:52.51 ID:euAc+ixB0

so gross lmao

144 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:58:02.68 ID:dT7d/GkU0

It got bigger lololol

138 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:56:09.51 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「lolololololol」

Fujita 「I wonder whose fault it is～？」

Me 「No, no...」

Take care of it in the bathroom!

I didn't say anything like that. I hesitated.

Fujita 「Touch it？」

Me 「No no lolololol」

Fujita 「No good？」

Fujita 「Yep」

Fujita 「Then it's a no～」

He started groping my breasts again.

142 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:57:17.59 ID:zMPU3lAc0

then it's a no lololol

143 忍法帖【Lv=40,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:57:46.13 ID:z/ijooPK0

I laughed at how bad he is

145 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:58:02.79 ID:euAc+ixB0

Fujita is too impatient

140 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:57:03.45 ID:dZlMrnlH0

Someone teach Fujita some technique lolololol

149 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:58:41.39 ID:FbVi8n3e0

So, I have like, a huge hair growing on my left nipple.

I can't let him find out. I have to hide my left breast.

I cuddle up next to him.

This way my left boob's hidden.

It's hard to explain.

But, Fujita took this the wrong way and got on top of me.

154 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:00:49.15 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Then his enlarged dick rubs against my crotch.

Then he begins moving like a piston.

Fujita 「Ah, a, ahhh！」

Fujita's really moaning.

Me 「lolololol amazing lololol」

Fujita 「It's alright to let your voice out！！」

Me 「what lol」

Letting my voice out, nothing of the sort･･･

it didn't feel good at all.

155 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:00:59.32 ID:k6zweoDV0

Fujita has so much wrong in so many ways lololol

What an unfortunate hot guy

151 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:59:02.78 ID:Ld4t1WIG0

This is so gross that I'd just punch the shit out of him and run

150 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 20:58:42.01 ID:dX+tH/ud0

Talk to Fujita. Love Fujita.

You're gross because you do nothing for yourself.

You letting this happen to you is worse than what he's doing.

160 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:02:47.72 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Rather, it hurt.

Me 「W-, wait」

Fujita 「Ah, ah, ahh, ahh！！！！」

Me 「lolololol」

Fujita 「Ahh, ahh, ah, ahh！！！！」

His passion, my frigidity. The difference was staggering.

We were so close and yet so far.

Oh, right

I'll just pretend I'm Riko Yaguchi.

165 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:04:42.18 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Isn't Riko Yaguchi cute？

Thanks to her, I've come 10 times.

I can't get enough of her innocent reactions.

I decided at once to act like her.

Me 「･･･」

I chewed on my lips.

Riko Yaguchi chews on her lips, you know.

169 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:06:43.01 ID:euAc+ixB0

>>165

lmao

166 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:05:13.68 ID:qB8pujJ60

what the fuck is riko yaguchi

167 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:06:29.59 ID:G0o/dxt70

who the hell lol

170 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:06:53.98 ID:MyHurpmh0

lmao yaguchi riko

171 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:07:19.33 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Ahh！！Ahh！！！！It's alright, let out your voice、you don't have to keep it in！」

Me 「lololololol ah lololololol ha lollolol」

Fujita 「Ahhahhh！！！！」

Me 「Ahh！Ahhh！！！！」

I did an impression of Riko Yaguchi.

By the way, my voice sounds like Hamtaro.

Eheh.

176 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:09:04.39 ID:RlaJ52ml0

>>171

eheh lmao

174 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:08:22.24 ID:dZlMrnlH0

>>171

Go snuggle up with Solara, Hamtaro!

172 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:08:03.35 ID:6PZFOIfC0

Or go eat her seed or something

178 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:09:31.09 ID:FbVi8n3e0

I'm Riko Yaguchi.

Amazing.

Biting my lip, amazing.

Then Fujita's movements stopped, and his hand moved to my crotch.

Me 「Wait lololol」

Fujita 「（Hahhh hahh hahh） No good？（Hahh hahh hahh）」

Fujita panted.

Then he kissed me.

He kissed all around my ear.

I don't feel anything.

181 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:10:28.51 ID:7Ue/6MAHi

Fujita's so gross…

182 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:10:29.80 ID:phakVwHKi

The difference between your moods is horrible

186 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:11:28.94 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「・・・・・」

Fujita 「So pretty」

Me 「What」

Fujita 「The shape of your breasts, so pretty」

Me 「O, oh, reallyー?」

Fujita 「So soft. Feels so good.」

Me 「＾＾」

Fujita 「Can I lick them？」

Me 「lolololol no no」

188 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:12:43.34 ID:k6zweoDV0

Wait, you guys are fully clothed right?

180 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:10:01.48 ID:3Vh1wvR10

If Fujita cums with this he's very high level…

192 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:13:23.43 ID:CriVPxem0

I wonder if perhaps Fujita might be a virgin

189 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:12:51.79 ID:l0mYNtEa0

Keep it up until the end, old man

199 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:16:51.47 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Alright, I'll skip some and keep writing!

Fujita 「Haahh hah」

Fujita was sliding his hand across my crotch.

Of course, not directly, but above my tights.

So then he's all over my butthole.

Butthole, you know, the one poop comes from.

What the fuck lololol, I thought.

That Fujita would get so excited over this and I would be so cold… I decided to do a little acting and moaned a bit.

201 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:18:28.36 ID:FbVi8n3e0

I'm not gonna feel good from you touching my butt…

Then he rubbed the genital area like a maniac.

Me 「Owww lololol」

Fujita 「Oh, sorry！」

Me 「N, nah… it's fine･･･」

Fujita 「Sorry, sorry」

*kiss* *kiss* *kiss*

Then he started touching down there again.

203 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:19:49.54 ID:FbVi8n3e0

This doesn't feel good at all. Not one bit.

Doing it by myself is much better.

Fujita 「Can I lick it through your panties？」

Me 「No lolololol」

Fujita 「I see～♪Then, it's a no～」

209 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:22:56.04 ID:yHZt+OQw0

then it's a noーlolololol

205 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:20:07.56 ID:QUHwFXgA0

Fujita's definitely a virgin lol

208 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:21:39.36 ID:phakVwHKi

Fujita's 「I seeー♪Then it's a noー」 really makes me want to hurl

204 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:19:54.57 ID:zb6GdShS0

It's Riko Yamaguchi not Riko Yaguchi

207 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:21:13.05 ID:l0mYNtEa0

Riko Yamaguchi's actual little sister is also a porn star.

Wonder what their parents thing.

http://www.amazon.co.jp/o/ASIN/B0065E2O22/ldblog-001-22/

[Their dad actually killed himself. -ed]

212 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:24:02.80 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Right! Riko Yamaguchi! Sorry!

Excuse me.

So then Fujita tried to lick my nipples.

But, my nipples are a bit weird.

Only when it's cold, or when I'm really feeling it, do they show their faces.

What do you call that?

I didn't want that to be seen, so I covered them up.

Fujita 「Don't worry」

Fujita licked my fingers.

Oh, by the way, we're wearing clothes.

Like, they're kinda rolled up.

215 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:26:03.01 ID:QUHwFXgA0

Well, at least Fujita's virginity and >>1's idiocy have been told well.

213 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:24:27.55 ID:mr4nz+vHO

Someone give Fujita a health class textbook

218 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:28:16.00 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Being licked felt so bad that I drew my hands in without thinking.

So then Fujita had a good chance to stick to my nipples.

Amazing!

藤田「kisskisskisslicklickkissahh」

Fervently sucking or sticking to them or something Fujita.

Me 「Owwwww！！！！」

Then he bit me.

It really hurts.

It still hurts now.

221 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:29:16.17 ID:euAc+ixB0

Not just love bites…but…？？

216 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:27:32.08 ID:+5b9or//i

Well, guess it's a noー♪

223 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:30:02.61 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Hahh hah、you're pretty」

Me 「N, nah」

Fujita 「So cuteー」

*kiss* *kiss* *kiss*

Fujita 「Does it feel good？」

Me 「Nope」

Fujita 「But really？」

Me 「Umm～」

Fujita 「Does it feel good？」

Right then, I wanted to say "don't be mean!" like a line out of a porn manga, but I couldn't.

224 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:30:31.00 ID:RlaJ52ml0

you got bitten lmao

229 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:32:24.42 ID:moOILj+ui

>>1 is too sexually frigid, I cried.

230 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:32:37.53 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Yeah, it doesn't feel good at all.

Maybe I have a sickness or something. It's that bad.

Fujita 「Heheh、it's real wet here」

Me 「What? No way.」

Fujita 「No, really!」

Me 「It's just the heat～」

Fujita 「Is that so～」

Then Fujita took my hand and put it on his dick

Fujita 「Touch it」

232 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:34:06.53 ID:esIbcwiP0

From a girl's viewpoint, guys are really gross, huh?

I'm a virgin so you may use me as an example

233 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:34:42.48 ID:QUHwFXgA0

I see！ Then it's a no～！

234 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:34:56.78 ID:FbVi8n3e0

It had already passed 4 o'clock.

If I don't leave soon, my parents are gonna find out.

I gotta make this guy come, somehow or another!！！！！！

At first I jacked him off through his underwear.

Fujita 「Ahh ahh ahh！！！」

Fujita's really moaning.

He was moaning so much it was questionable whether it really felt all that good

236 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:36:56.17 ID:FbVi8n3e0

As far as I know from porn videos, guys don't really moan. I was surprised.

Fujita 「Haahaa, hey, uh, touch it directly？」

Me 「No, no」

Fujita 「No good？」

Me 「Yep, no way」

Fujita 「But, if you do it through my underwear, they're gonna get all dirty～」

Me 「Whatever, I don't really care」

Fujita 「Whaaat～」

242 忍法帖【Lv=32,xxxPT】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:39:37.14 ID:2GYSDEXki

>>236

＞Me 「Whatever, I don't really care」

lmao

239 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:38:15.36 ID:FC3TEA7B0

I'm surprised at your frigidity lololol

However this >>1 is a lot like this girl I know…

244 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:40:00.10 ID:FbVi8n3e0

So anyway I was jacking him off

I remembered the scenes when Riko Yamaguchi stroked the male actor's penis

Fujita 「Ahh! I can't take it anymore」

Me 「What」

Fujita 「I'm coming///」

Me 「What」

Fujita 「Nnn～」

Fujita grabbed me and placed me in something like the cowgirl position.

In manga, you'd hear something embarrassing like "I can feel your dick////".

I just wanted to go home.

252 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:43:38.93 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Then he started moving my legs

Fujita 「Ahh ahh ahh！！！！」

Me 「Ahh ahh ahh///」

Fujita 「Does it feel good？ Haa haah」

Me 「（Not one bit）Y, yeah///」

Fujita 「Ahh ahh ahh！！」

His moaning was louder than mine.

He got tired, so he put me back.

Amazing.

253 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:43:42.60 ID:jMlrMy5Y0

This guy's retarded

256 忍法帖【Lv=2,xxxP】投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:45:26.12 ID:1UwzmEvq0

This guy's a barrel of laughs

257 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:46:11.78 ID:FbVi8n3e0

By the way, no one's inserting anything.

He's probably doing it clothed. I'm wearing my tights.

Even though I just want to go home, Fujita sucks at my nipples again.

Fujita bites them again.

I told you it hurts, Fujita.

Fujita 「Hey, touch it, touch it directly」

Me 「No. Really, no.」

Fujita 「Uuu～」

Then Fujita forced my head toward his dick. Of course, he moved his dick toward my head.

Terrifying.

261 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:48:43.02 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「It's a dick♪」

Me 「（No shit♪）Y, yeah///」

Fujita 「First time seeing one？」

Me 「Y, yeah」

Fujita 「How is it？」

Me 「I, I dunno」

Fujita 「Is that so～You dunno～」

He hugged me.

Fujita 「Hey, will you meet me again?」

Me 「Y, yeah」

Fujita 「Yay～」

265 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:50:57.55 ID:K70n5tvfi

>>261

＞Fujita 「It's a penis♪」

＞

＞Me 「（No shit♪）Y, yeah///」

lmao

263 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:48:58.32 ID:l0mYNtEa0

Finish it up, grampus

267 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:51:54.95 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Fujita 「Then, touch it？」

Me 「Whatever」

It had already passed 4:30.

I really had to leave the hotel soon.

Fujita 「Ahh ahh ahh！」

I breathed heavily into his ear.

By the way, I learned to do this from reading porn manga.

Fujita 「Ahh ahh ahh！」

Something's wet.

His underwear's met.

Fujita 「I came///」

269 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:53:14.70 ID:QUHwFXgA0

So this is what happens when you graduate college a virgin

271 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:53:47.26 ID:yHZt+OQw0

Don't get so involved and still think you've got it hard

276 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:55:30.09 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Me 「You came?」

Fujita 「Yeah///It felt good//」

Fujita kissed me.

Me 「Welp, let's go」

Fujita 「Wha-, ah, yeah, okay」

Me 「Yep」

I got up and fixed my hair.

The part I had hairsprayed was all fucked up. Shit.

Fujita 「Yuu-chan･･･（fake name」

Fujita hugged me from behind

281 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:58:07.96 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Then, the groping started.

Me 「（Don't start things again lolollol）」

Fujita 「They really are soft～, Pretty～」

Me 「Oh yeah?」

Fujita 「Can I lick them？」

Me 「I've gotta go」

Fujita 「I see～, Then it's a no～」

Me 「Yep」

288 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:00:24.94 ID:euAc+ixB0

There it is！！！！！！

287 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:00:23.42 ID:X59otxNU0

Then it's a no～lolololol

283 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:59:33.93 ID:V+GptI8W0

Fujita sure gives up quickly lololol

289 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:01:53.65 ID:FbVi8n3e0

I put on my coat

Fujita 「Thanks a bunch for today」

He kissed and kissed my nose.

Me 「Yes, yes」

Fujita 「You'll meet me again, right?」

Me 「Yes, yes」

Fujita 「Thank god～～」

Fujita hugged me.

Then I had him take me to my car,

and said goodbye.

Then on my way home, I stalked my lost love's house, and then went home.

293 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:04:21.83 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Even now my nipples hurt and I'm constipated. Guess that dating sites are no good after all.

I thought I could catch up to the guy I love, but I couldn't.

297 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:07:01.41 ID:FbVi8n3e0

By the way, I masturbate a lot and it still didn't feel any good. It's a lot better doing it by yourself.

It's like, it tickles right? That tickling is something that only goes away if it's someone you really like.

Or something like that.

301 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:08:34.61 ID:X59otxNU0

Even if you have sex in desperation, your broken heart won't heal.

You'll regret it, though. lololol

272 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:53:48.75 ID:jMlrMy5Y0

Every girl on dating sites is the same

277 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:56:03.19 ID:l0mYNtEa0

>>272

They all think "I'm different" though, lol

305 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:09:44.40 ID:rpFEnVzg0

At least you made it all the way to a hotel without being assaulted.

You're lucky.

306 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:10:07.04 ID:w5SI8PFg0

Good think Fujita was a nice person

308 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:10:34.90 ID:uVs2mVo90

So this is the Hot Guy Privilege

316 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:16:13.83 ID:RlaJ52ml0

Well, it's good you didn't get fucked lololol

You were saved by Fujita loll

319 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:16:52.17 ID:FbVi8n3e0

Oh, youngsters these days…

328 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:23:21.78 ID:nHvdqhEY0

What? Your cherry is safe?

332 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:25:35.14 ID:FbVi8n3e0

>>328

It's fine （っ´＾ω＾`ｃ）

So, it's over

thanks for sticking with me all the way!

324 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 22:18:38.08 ID:06mn220d0

It was pretty interesting

264 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:49:47.38 ID:KVycel140

Why did you meet him?

Why are you bullying guys who use dating sites? Quick summary please.

260 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:48:31.30 ID:aOeiKtwpO

What does this >>1 want to do?

Has she been a virgin for too long and gone crazy?

247 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:41:00.01 ID:JQwtnMdqi

I don't understand >>1's actions

You wanna be a slut？

249 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:42:23.49 ID:l0mYNtEa0

>>247

She's just a kid who doesn't know what she's doing

222 以下、VIPがお送りします投稿日：2012/01/16(月) 21:29:47.43 ID:8RIt6BLT0

I see～Then it's a no～

#JustMigrate

Translation: "Apparently girls can immediately tell which guys are virgins"

Here's another translation from a matome blog. This time it's a general discussion topic rather than a news article. The original ttread is from VIP.

Apparently girls can easily tell which guys are virgins

1 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:41:44.66 ID:gkEjgxTf0

No matter how much we try to deceive, it's no use…

2 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:42:16.93 ID:Q1qrlflu0

Nah, they can't tell.

Unless you're like incredibly ugly.

5 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:42:57.45 ID:Bh/lKE2+0

Girl「Do you go to, like, 2channel？」

Guy「That's right！」

Girl (Virgin alert)

93 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:08:55.13 ID:wSlNABZg0

>>5

lol

7 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:44:34.68 ID:a6Q+NG5n0

"immediately tell?" lololololol

as if girls could do something like that lolololol

| .. ..

| : (ﾉ'A`)>: no way...

／￣: ( ﾍﾍ::￣

11 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:46:36.29 ID:0SpcvJV50

I was chosen as the most attractive guy in my high school, but I'm a virgin. I tell no one.

19 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:50:03.41 ID:n3mPaJwAO

>>11

Is that so? Here, take your medicine.

Next patient, please.

12 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:48:24.04 ID:wzNSPogY0

I'm a girl and virgin boys have different voices so I can totally tell the difference!

It's like, umm, kinda like they've never had a taste of a girl's you know what before?

14 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:49:12.12 ID:kNgPxQuP0

>>12

Shut the fuck up, old man

17 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:49:38.88 ID:s9Ty9U1V0

>>12

Gramps・・・

13 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:48:28.16 ID:q57GGZXSO

I wouldn't say that, this kind of conversation has happened before:

Older girl at my job「Hey, do you have a girlfriend?」

Me「No」(Actually, I've never had one)

Girl「You're a college student, right?」

Me「No, just part-time jobs」

Girl「Ah, you must not be able to meet many girls then」

Me「Yeah・・・」(Not even close to what my problem is)

Girl「How'd you meet your previous girlfriends?」

Me「Eh?」

Girl「Eh?」

21 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:51:31.14 ID:IxMcMCnoO

>>13

She's hitting on you bro, this is why you're a virgin.

18 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:50:02.50 ID:IxMcMCnoO

Ugly

Quiet voice

Doesn't talk

Hesitant

Puts no thought into their appearance

Bald・Fat・Short

Timid facial expressions

Barely any guy friends

If someone meets two or more of the above criteria, they have a high chance of being a virgin

65 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[sage] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:22:21.34 ID:wRfeyC/60

>>18

Well, they all fit me

32 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 13:57:02.75 ID:vUZ0UA8/0

I don't even have a woman to judge me

40 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:03:14.06 ID:Y2EJSfJ50

Guys with running shoes that look like the kind elementary/middle schoolers would wear

[New Balances -ed.]

43 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:05:49.39 ID:4agxuWrCO

As a girl, guys who pretend not to be virgins are the worst!

As a fellow guy, it's unbelievable!

45 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:07:04.04 ID:LreZoFqP0

>>43

Pick a fucking gender and stick with it

49 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:28:00.26 ID:dsmGEKng0

Guys who throw out orders all the time

50 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:28:02.89 ID:O6xoxPnX0

Guys who eat up sexual stuff, and guys who are too sensitive to that kinda thing are virgins

56 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 14:48:17.18 ID:AZtVcnYy0

You're wrong!

It's just most guys who talk about fucking their girlfriends are gross, so I stay quiet

58 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:05:05.80 ID:UhFvG1z2O

It's not like all virgins do these things, but guys who do these are certainly virgins:

・Not good at checking out tits or ass

・Don't look you in the eye

・Can't even touch a friend

59 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:08:23.59 ID:+ORbhuM0O

>>58

It's me

69 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:27:58.71 ID:gALG7v1X0

They're judging you on how you to react to changes in the mood, obviously

71 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:29:00.09 ID:bQtPrSfJ0

I can't even look other guys in the eye.

I accept defeat.

75 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:36:41.12 ID:rzglyf6T0

Once you're part of the Virgin Elite, you can deceive people with your atmosphere

76 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:37:57.22 ID:fQlMcplW0

But, actually, if a girl thinks you're a virgin it's not a bad thing

Rather, it leaves a good impression

78 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:40:46.85 ID:3PdCg3AsO

People over 30 who have a young-looking face (not a baby face, just young) have that virgin aura

81 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:43:51.55 ID:pIQpKfH80

Why are you people even saying virgins are bad in the first place?

Wear it with pride!

83 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:44:50.97 ID:Wf1zTTx50

Guys can tell too

87 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 15:58:56.01 ID:nzP41Tha0

I worked a part time job as a supermarket cashier. One time an old lady start talking to me:

Lady「Oh, thank you very much. You're so kind!」

Lady「A kind person like you will certainly find a lovely wife.」

Lady「Or maybe you've already found one?」

Me「Nah～　I'm only 21 so I've still got some time～」

Lady「You're a student!? I thought that you were definitely．．．」

I cried.

95 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:13:28.28 ID:tU2hM8EW0

I-I-I'm no virgin…

98 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:17:04.96 ID:iX83+wyq0

When I was a virgin, women thought I had a kid

104 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:30:29.63 ID:ALIMdmYs0

Yes, yes. Virgiiiiin, virgiiiiiin~

107 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:35:16.70 ID:wdUZDXMt0

Guys can generally tell too

108 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:35:40.00 ID:7Hc2SxaSO

Girls tell me I look like a player so they don't want to approach me

Once I got my glasses I started getting treated like a gross nerd

Even though I've always been a virgin

110 名前：以下、名無しにかわりましてVIPがお送りします[] 投稿日：2012/01/24(火) 16:40:20.57 ID:+ytRZ5ZD0

Why was I born this way…

#JustMigrate

Matome blog translation: Idol Cup Noodle Cafe

Recently, a new cafe where junior idols pour boiling water into cup noodles for you opened. Here's a pretty rough direct translation of a post on a matome blog. The information is sourced from the cup noodle cafe itself, and the posts are from the (I believe) Morning Musume board on 2channel.

All cup ramen - 800 yen

All drinks - 800 yen

①Please pick your idol of choice

②At the vending machine, please choose "cup ramen" or "drink".

③After sitting at the counter, pick the items of your choice. An Idol will pour the boiling water for you.

④After waiting 3 minutes, please enjoy your time in the dining area.

*During busy times, we may place restrictions time spent in the dining area.

The idols working at NOODOL CAFE are all new faces at Platinum Production Group. We have many famous idols attached to our group. We ask that everyone support the idols working at the cafe, and those who create a lot of fans will move on to live performances, theater, TV, and more.

10 ：ステアニート(長崎県)：2012/01/24(火) 08:01:18.03 ID:Udv+cRc70

Opening day staff

11 ：ステマ連呼厨(東日本)：2012/01/24(火) 08:04:56.51 ID:kObWHqgv0

>>10

The one furthest to the right is cute

13 ：システマー(神奈川県)：2012/01/24(火) 08:05:20.31 ID:+G98xXTg0

>>10

The second girl from the left is Itou Kanae, right?

Voice actress nerds, charge!!

38 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:29:55.69 0

You can talk to them

The girl I talked to was super cute

35 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:28:59.64 0

I tried out Noodol Cafe, where idols pour your boiling water for you

【ニコニコ動画】アイドルがお湯を注いでくれる「ヌードルカフェ」を体験してみた

46 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:33:11.75 0

>>35

This is a high hurdle

Communication ability comes into question

3 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:05:28.63 0

Ultrawoman??lolololollollolol

16 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:17:47.38 0

What a dreadful trade.

18 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:20:24.84 0

Hold on, you want to go through all that to talk to a girl?

14 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:14:58.44 0

Thought this was about "Nude Idols"

19 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:21:25.34 O

What do you mean "all that"? All you're doing is ordering ramen here.

25 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:23:56.13 O

Now that I think about it, I've never talked to someone I didn't know for 3 whole minutes before

31 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:27:38.19 0

Noodles in hand, the idol dejectedly heads toward the customer…

21 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:21:51.65 0

What the hell am I supposed to talk about for 3 whole minutes?

33 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:28:29.66 0

No events or anything here? Just pouring water?

40 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:31:02.82 0

A cup noodle hostess club?

53 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:35:11.03 0

After getting in high spirits from talking to a cute girl,

The loneliness of eating cup ramen by yourself

45 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:33:01.99 0

It's true that just pouring hot water doesn't legally count as cooking food

The production company is probably aiming for a loophole like that

85 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:20:17.41 0

There's a lot of otaku who want to talk to idols longer than they're able to at handshaking events, this could be good.

Dunno which is harder on the idols, though. lol

70 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:11:47.94 0

They're pretty cute, huh...

92 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:22:42.91 0

This business isn't exactly a quick money-making scheme.

The profit margin difference between cup ramen and light snacks at a cafe isn't much.

96 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:26:19.63 0

Talking for 3 minutes at a maid cafe is pretty difficult

This is nice in that it doesn't require skill, but I can see troublemakers showing up

93 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:22:46.16 0

What am I supposed to do if I fall in love?

119 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:43:18.21 0

Eventually, I wonder if we could get an option to let them pee or spit in it as well

101 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:29:26.72 0

If you think about a 8000yen/half hour hostess club…

102 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:29:32.90 0

What am I supposed to talk about for 3 whole minutes…

113 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:36:53.53 0

If you can talk for 3 minutes, it's not expensive. It's different from CDs become you can eat them too

115 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:39:23.01 0

After 3 minutes are they just gonna ignore me?

118 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:41:58.98 0

Doll otaku can talk for only as long as the situation requires

134 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:53:00.59 0

I don't want women to see what I'm like when eating cup noodles.

That's something to do quietly by oneself.

172 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:11:48.32 0

I can't hold a conversation for 3 whole minutes. What am I supposed to do? (´；ω；｀)ﾌﾞﾜｯ

142 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:58:12.97 0

This is groundbreaking stupidity.

The profit margins are amazing

150 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:02:31.31 0

Well, I don't think this system will make any profit.

156 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:03:57.30 0

So… they don't come out naked covered in noodles?

285 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 10:21:57.76 0

This will be bankrupt in an instant, so you all should go for some joke material lololol

160 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:05:49.65 0

Well, if it means having a girl feed me, it's relatively cheap.

188 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:22:12.93 0

It's a lot more honest than having to buy a CD

193 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:25:21.13 0

If I worked close to there, I'd probably go everyday

This is amazing

225 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:37:11.05 0

Those who prefer their noodles hard won't have much time to talk lol

87 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:20:57.76 0

What kind of life do the customers lead to end up there…

216 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:33:46.62 0

What the fuck! There's no nude idols waiting on people?!

260 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 10:12:33.09 0

This will become another one of Akihabara's famous places

128 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:49:17.08 0

Guess I'll have to go!

177 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:15:40.13 0

I only clicked this thread because I expected to see naked girls serving customers…

#JustMigrated

Matome blog translation: Idol Cup Noodle Cafe

All cup ramen - 800 yen

All drinks - 800 yen

①Please pick your idol of choice

②At the vending machine, please choose "cup ramen" or "drink".

③After sitting at the counter, pick the items of your choice. An Idol will pour the boiling water for you.

④After waiting 3 minutes, please enjoy your time in the dining area.

*During busy times, we may place restrictions time spent in the dining area.

10 ：ステアニート(長崎県)：2012/01/24(火) 08:01:18.03 ID:Udv+cRc70

Opening day staff

11 ：ステマ連呼厨(東日本)：2012/01/24(火) 08:04:56.51 ID:kObWHqgv0

>>10

The one furthest to the right is cute

13 ：システマー(神奈川県)：2012/01/24(火) 08:05:20.31 ID:+G98xXTg0

>>10

The second girl from the left is Itou Kanae, right?

Voice actress nerds, charge!!

38 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:29:55.69 0

You can talk to them

The girl I talked to was super cute

35 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:28:59.64 0

I tried out Noodol Cafe, where idols pour your boiling water for you

【ニコニコ動画】アイドルがお湯を注いでくれる「ヌードルカフェ」を体験してみた

46 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:33:11.75 0

>>35

This is a high hurdle

Communication ability comes into question

3 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:05:28.63 0

Ultrawoman??lolololollollolol

16 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:17:47.38 0

What a dreadful trade.

18 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:20:24.84 0

Hold on, you want to go through all that to talk to a girl?

14 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:14:58.44 0

Thought this was about "Nude Idols"

19 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:21:25.34 O

What do you mean "all that"? All you're doing is ordering ramen here.

25 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:23:56.13 O

Now that I think about it, I've never talked to someone I didn't know for 3 whole minutes before

31 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:27:38.19 0

Noodles in hand, the idol dejectedly heads toward the customer…

21 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:21:51.65 0

What the hell am I supposed to talk about for 3 whole minutes?

33 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:28:29.66 0

No events or anything here? Just pouring water?

40 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:31:02.82 0

A cup noodle hostess club?

53 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:35:11.03 0

After getting in high spirits from talking to a cute girl,

The loneliness of eating cup ramen by yourself

45 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 07:33:01.99 0

It's true that just pouring hot water doesn't legally count as cooking food

The production company is probably aiming for a loophole like that

85 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:20:17.41 0

There's a lot of otaku who want to talk to idols longer than they're able to at handshaking events, this could be good.

Dunno which is harder on the idols, though. lol

70 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:11:47.94 0

They're pretty cute, huh...

92 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:22:42.91 0

This business isn't exactly a quick money-making scheme.

The profit margin difference between cup ramen and light snacks at a cafe isn't much.

96 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:26:19.63 0

Talking for 3 minutes at a maid cafe is pretty difficult

This is nice in that it doesn't require skill, but I can see troublemakers showing up

93 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:22:46.16 0

What am I supposed to do if I fall in love?

119 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:43:18.21 0

Eventually, I wonder if we could get an option to let them pee or spit in it as well

101 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:29:26.72 0

If you think about a 8000yen/half hour hostess club…

102 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:29:32.90 0

What am I supposed to talk about for 3 whole minutes…

113 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:36:53.53 0

If you can talk for 3 minutes, it's not expensive. It's different from CDs become you can eat them too

115 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:39:23.01 0

After 3 minutes are they just gonna ignore me?

118 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:41:58.98 0

Doll otaku can talk for only as long as the situation requires

134 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:53:00.59 0

I don't want women to see what I'm like when eating cup noodles.

That's something to do quietly by oneself.

172 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:11:48.32 0

I can't hold a conversation for 3 whole minutes. What am I supposed to do? (´；ω；｀)ﾌﾞﾜｯ

142 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:58:12.97 0

This is groundbreaking stupidity.

The profit margins are amazing

150 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:02:31.31 0

Well, I don't think this system will make any profit.

156 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:03:57.30 0

So… they don't come out naked covered in noodles?

285 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 10:21:57.76 0

This will be bankrupt in an instant, so you all should go for some joke material lololol

160 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:05:49.65 0

Well, if it means having a girl feed me, it's relatively cheap.

188 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:22:12.93 0

It's a lot more honest than having to buy a CD

193 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:25:21.13 0

If I worked close to there, I'd probably go everyday

This is amazing

225 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:37:11.05 0

Those who prefer their noodles hard won't have much time to talk lol

87 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:20:57.76 0

What kind of life do the customers lead to end up there…

216 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:33:46.62 0

What the fuck! There's no nude idols waiting on people?!

260 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 10:12:33.09 0

This will become another one of Akihabara's famous places

128 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 08:49:17.08 0

Guess I'll have to go!

177 ：名無し募集中。。。：2012/01/24(火) 09:15:40.13 0

I only clicked this thread because I expected to see naked girls serving customers…

#JustMigrate

VIP and Matome Sites

ニュース速報(VIP), meaning Breaking News (VIP) and usually shortened to VIP is, for better or worse, the heart of 2channel culture. As the most popular board, it is filled with flaming, trolling, insults, hate speech, and multitudes of other nasty things, but is also a great source of humor and, ocassionally, serious discussion. Because making a thread on VIP gets you the fastest replies, people post about anything and everything. VIP is a little like 4chan's /b/ without the gross pictures and child porn.

A selection of thread titles when I wrote this post: "I'll spam this thread to 1000 replies by myself", "I'm a gyaru who can't communicate with people, ask me anything", "Let's play Ragnarok Online together", "Stupid NEETs going to sleep at this hour" (whose opening post is "Good night!"), "It's strange how popular One Piece is", "Kamen Rider discussion thread", "[Breaking News] Good morning"

The board was originally created to keep bad threads out of the more serious news board, and the sarcastic (VIP) in the board name is an indicator of the style of humor found there. Self-aware and self-deprecating, vippers (VIP regulars) rarely post sincerely. Judging from the topics people discuss, vippers seem to be split between middle schoolers, middle-aged salarymen, bored college students, and hopeless NEETs.

An oft-repeated thread that exemplifies the self-deprecating VIP style of humor is the "watashi desu" (it's me) thread formula. The thread title will seemingly mock a group of people ("what's with guys who sit at the school cafeteria all alone? lololololol") and open with the post わたしです, something like "I'm that guy" in polite, meek Japanese.

What's up with guys who write way too many words about internet forums? It's me.

Most posts in VIP are short and abrasive, making heavy use of the relatively rare and rude imperative form in Japanese. A thread asking for anime recommendations will usually be something like "tell me your favorite fucking anime" rather than the usually "please tell me your favorite anime". Anyone who mentions that they're a girl will be met with borderline sexual harassment ("post your tits") or accusations of being fake ("shouldn't you be sleeping, gramps?"). Seemingly a harsh environment at first, I quickly found that people get along, and that any anger was usually in jest.

People often post interesting stories and funny jokes on VIP. However, threads are rarely up for more than an hour. To perserve worthwhile threads, people have created "matome blogs" where they collect (matomeru) good threads and their replies. For example, "Things people in the Edo period would likely google", originally a VIP thread but pruned and collected on a matome blog.

Matome sites allow people to avoid the chaos of live VIP and read threads and replies hand-picked by the blog's editor. This has allowed more "normal people", or riajuu, to get in on 2channel humor, bringing it closer to the mainstream. This has the side effect of bringing more riajuu to the boards, who are introduced to it through matome blogs. It's considered bad taste to post things like "this thread will totally end up on a matome site!" or "put my response in big red text!". Some blame matome sites for ruining VIP by bringing in too many riajuu.

There are matome sites for other boards besides VIP as well. For example, the website Itai News collects real news stories and 2channel's (often humorous) reactions to them. I am not aware of any English-language matome sites, but translated Itai News is the source of a significant amount of posts on the horrible otaku tabloid Sankaku Complex.

I think that matome sites will bring VIP-style humor even further into the mainstream in the future. My college friends tweet links to them all the time, and it seems that reading 2channel (or at least matome blogs) is normal for our demographic. It's an example of "otaku humor" becoming seen as regular humor. Personally, I think it's good that they help spread vipper humor. There's some great stuff on VIP if you wade through the muck.

#JustMigrate

2channel Culture: Text Art, Slang

Many of you may be familiar with internet memes. I think it's fair to say that they've reached a kind of 'mainstream' level of popularity, at least with the kind of people who dwell on popular sites like Reddit or 4chan. It's hard to call this 'mainstream' in the strictest sense. You can't find meme shirts being sold at Wal-Mart.

Japan's different.

Kaomoji pillows being sold at Don Quixote in Akihabara. (image source)

Kaomoji, Japan's answer to the smiley face, were around before 2channel, and Don Quixote—a strange combination between a supermarket, a liquor store, and a sex shop—isn't exactly like a Wal-Mart. Even so, it's a place that your average Japanese person might visit regularly. These little smilies have hit the Japanese mainstream. My cell phone has a function to quickly insert them into messages.

They're integral to 2channel culture. You can find them all over the place. But it doesn't end there. 2channel took kaomoji to another level with Shift-JIS art, sometimes called ASCII art. Users often use it to spruce up their posts, since you can't post images on 2channel. The 2channel browser for mobile phones even has a special function to reformat them as images to fit on tiny screens.

Popular 2channel Shift-JIS art characters.

Text pictures and faces aren't the only facet of 2channel culture to hit the mainstream in Japan. 2channel is known for coining new words that find their way into the popular lexicon. There's a whole category on the Japanese Wikipedia dedicated to them. For example, my Japanese friends use the word リア充 (riajuu) all the time. Coined on the 2channel college life board, it more or less means "satisfied with life", a way to describe people who are unlike the stereotypical lonely otaku. Originally used in self-deprecation, now it's all over Twitter and other sites full of riajuu.

A pervasive word that probably won't see use outside the internet is 厨房 (chuubou), literally "kitchen" (pronounced the same as 中坊, middle schooler) but meaning roughly "newbie". It can be used to describe those new and unfamiliar with the site. Often, it's shorted to 厨 and stuck on the end of other words to describe groups of people, like the suffix "-fag" is used on 4chan. For example, 携帯厨 means people who browse 2channel on their mobile phones (携帯). 夏厨 refers to the increase in new or undesirable users during summer break (夏休み), when bored students flood the boards. 割れ厨 (warechuu) is used to refer to people who pirate software or media on the internet (warez → 割れ (ware)). This kind of wordplay and kanji abuse is common on 2channel; another example would be using 北 and 池 instead of 来た and 行け.

Although not all 2channel slang will make it to the "normal world", some will. And any that does seems to be more or less considered normal.

The Japanese release of Napoleon Dynamite uses the kaomoji/2ch slang combination "kita!", a nod to Densha Otoko (Train Man). Napoleon Dynamite is called Bus Otoko in Japan. I suppose both of the protagonists are nerds.

#JustMigrated

2channel Culture: Text Art, Slang

Japan's different.

Kaomoji pillows being sold at Don Quixote in Akihabara. (image source)

Popular 2channel Shift-JIS art characters.

Although not all 2channel slang will make it to the "normal world", some will. And any that does seems to be more or less considered normal.

#JustMigrate

2channel and Anonymity

If you were to ask a bunch of Americans to describe what an internet message board is like, I imagine a few of them would tell you something like "image macros, avatars, signatures, 'important' people with big colorful titles under their name..." The other people would probably ask what an internet message board is.

2channel has none of these things, or at least discourages them. It's a text-only board that stresses anonymity. It doesn't require registration or e-mail verification, and even new users can easily and quickly post. In my opinion, anonymity is a good thing. "Western-style" message boards are wrought with attention-whoring and popularity grabs, meaning that the forums become less about the actual discussion and more about the people. One might think that anonymity leads to nothing but chaos and flaming (like, for example, the cess-pit that is 4chan's /b/) but I think 2channel shows us that it's actually the opposite case.

The webcomic Penny Arcade's take on internet anonymity and human behavior. While I also generally find this true, it's important to note that online games (like Unreal Tournament) and Western forums aren't anonymous, but psuedononymous: people are required to have usernames.

With usernames, everything that you post sticks with you. If someone flames you, or you post something embarrassing, everyone knows about it, and as long as your post isn't deleted, stays with you forever. You've got to salvage your pride, so you flame them back. This is how flame wars start.

If someone flames you on 2channel, who cares? It's anonymous. No one knows who you are, and you have no ide who flamed you. There's no reason to argue about it because nothing sticks with you. People have no idea whether two posts were written by the same people or not. I find that most flaming on 2channel is ignored.

The founder of 2channel may have put it best himself in this interview:

Q: Why did you decide to use perfect anonymity, not even requiring a user name?

A: Because delivering news without taking any risk is very important to us. There is a lot of information disclosure or secret news gathered on Channel 2. Few people would post that kind of information by taking a risk. Moreover, people can only truly discuss something when they don't know each other.

If there is a user ID attached to a user, a discussion tends to become a criticizing game. On the other hand, under the anonymous system, even though your opinion/information is criticized, you don't know with whom to be upset. Also with a user ID, those who participate in the site for a long time tend to have authority, and it becomes difficult for a user to disagree with them. Under a perfectly anonymous system, you can say, "it's boring," if it is actually boring. All information is treated equally; only an accurate argument will work.

Although it's possible to attach a permanent name to your posts on 2channel, doing so will probably put your post in a negative light. Unless you have a good reason to do so, you'll probably just be seen as an attention-seeking wannabe internet celebrity.

Bonus: By not entering a name, 2channel will give you the default anonymous name associated with the particular board you posted on. The most normal one is 名無しさん, meaning something like "Mr. Nameless", kind of like 4chan's "Anonymous". Other boards have different ones to provide a bit of local flavor. Here are some examples:

The illegal drugs board has a bugged-out smiley face: 名無しさん＠_＠

The couples board is 恋人は名無しさん (my lover is Anonymous)

The haiku board is 詠み人知らず (author unknown)

The social networking board is 友達の友達の名無しさん (friend of a friend, Anonymous)

#JustMigrate

An Introduction to 2channel

I've decided to start a blog to provide English-language insight into the world of 2channel.

2channel is Japan's—and possibly the world's—largest online message board. 2channel culture is bleeding into Japanese popular culture, with phenomena like Densha Otoko and words coined by 2channelers hitting the mainstream. 2channel is, in my opinion, a dark reflection of Japanese society, a sort of insight into the honne (true feelings) that Japanese people have. This is thanks to the site's focus on anonymity, something I'll cover in detail later.

Unfortunately for us gaijin, 2channel is almost entirely in Japanese. There's occasional sightings of English, probably from bored students taking out some frustration on their mandatory English education. English and other foreign languages have small sections for people to practice them, but most boards are Japanese and block foreign users from posting. I'm writing this blog to give English-speakers a taste of 2channel.

Intellectual English discussion on 2channel

The biggest English-language message board is Gaia Online (source), a terrible collection of weeaboo children posting as much as possible to get internet money for their avatars. Gaia's worldwide Alexa ranking (a somewhat accurate ranking of internet traffic) is #6909. 2channel's is #308, which I believe makes it the most visited message board in the world.

2channel is full of discussion on any conceivable topic. With discussion ranging from serious debates about news, electronics, convenience stores, and colleges to unintelligible banter, 2channel's motto of "From 'hacking' to 'tonight's side-dish'" is an accurate description of what the site is for: everything. It contains over 700 seperate boards, all dedicated to different topics. 2channel is a both a huge foundation of otaku culture and a place for normal people to have normal discussions.

#JustMigrate

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