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Number 80 sure is quick,

Too bad his hands are made of brick.

I Have NFC What We're Doing on Offense ... And I Love It

You would think that with the multiple formations and the schmorgesborg of personnel packages that it would be somewhat chaotic.

Not so.

We're so efficient at subbing, signaling in the play, and getting to the line of scrimmage that we usually have time to spare. I can't remember the last time (if ever) we were so disciplined.

We look like we know what we're doing.

Too bad there aren't a lot of people watching.

*CUE CO-ED* (learn the words, here)

THAT'S RIGHT. WE NEED YOU. YOU, MR. FAIRWEATHER FAN. COME OUT AND SUPPORT THIS TEAM. THIS TEAM DESERVES IT. THIS TEAM IS WORKING THEIR ASS OFF FOR YOU. TRAFFIC? LACK OF PARKING HOLDING YOU BACK? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU HAVE TWO FEET (unless you lost them in Vietnam or something, in which case I apologize.) WALK YOUR ASS TO THE GAME. WALKING IS EASY; HOLDING A TEXTBOOK OVER YOUR HEAD FOR 2 HOURS IS NOT.

HAWAI'I'S HIGH COST OF LIVING GOT YOU DOWN? PSSSH. GET A JOB. GET A 2ND JOB (or skip out on cable for a couple months and use the money on a block of season tickets instead or E-bay your fancy-pants smart phone). TALK TO THE NON-SCHOLIE PLAYERS WHO WAKE UP AT 4, CATCH THE BUS, GO TO PRACTICE, GO TO SCHOOL, THEN GO TO WORK, THEN DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. SOMEHOW THEY MAKE PAYING THE BILLS WORK. IF A KID CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU, BANDWAGON BOY (or girl).

YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE NO EXCUSE. I MEAN, UNLESS YOU DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL AND YOU DON'T LIKE SWEATY MEN JUMPING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER WHILE FIGHTING OVER AN OBLONG BALL. IF I WERE A GIRL, I WOULD BE ALL OVER THAT SHIT. BUT, I'M NOT A GIRL ... BUT I STILL AM ALL OVER THAT SHIT. DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY?! NO (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'M A FAN. AND THAT'S WHAT FANS DO. WE'RE THERE THROUGH THICK AND THIN, SWEATY BALLS OR NOT.

DID I MENTION THAT YOU CAN GET FREE SHIT AT THE GAMES?! WHO DOESN'T LIKE FREE SHIT? THEY GIVE OUT T-SHIRTS AND ... T-SHIRTS AND OTHER FREE STUFF. THEY SHOOT THE T-SHIRTS OUT OF A CANNON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. A T-SHIRT CANNON?! NO WAY! YOU NEED TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET TO THE GAME.

Norm Chow + ( . Y . ) = ?

I have to admit, I was waaaaay off base in who I thought would be at the helm of Warrior football as I didn't think Norm Chow would have even considered applying for the head coaching vacancy at Hawaiʻi. But he did. And he got it. Great for us — I think.

I suppose it's time to give a "conventional" pro style offense a real try (VonCrappen doesn't count). People "in the know" have always said that the only way Hawaiʻi could compete was to run "novelty" offenses (triple option, run and shoot) that didn't require the perfect genetic specimen types of football players that all big time programs covet.

A lot is going to hinge on whether or not we can recruit the players needed to make the new offensive system go. It seems Norm knows that; he's hired high energy no outside life guys to hit the pavement to go out and round up talent. If I'm coach Powell, Tuioti, Rauscher, Jones, Uperesa, Wiesehan, or Kaumeyer, here's my pitch to prospects:

( . Y . )

Boobs.

Hawaiʻi's people ranks as one of the "best looking" in America, according to the highly scientific and respectable totalbeauty.com. Look at it this way, Hawaiʻi is near the equator. It gets hot. People wear less clothing. We have beautiful people. You're pitching to testosterone jacked up males in their sexual prime. Do the math.

Crappy facilities? Focus on the ( . Y . ). Fairweather fans? Focus on the ( . Y . ). Education value not as good as a PAC-12 school? Focus on the ( . Y . ).

***

It was great listening to him yesterday at the Hukilau restaurant. I hope he can maintain his rah-rah attitude and really make a difference here, not only on the field, but off the field as well in the form of upgrading facilities, garnering government support and fostering academic progress and growth for our student athletes. But remember, he's not going to be able to do it alone, everyone needs to get off of their ass (both figuratively and literally) to support the team, athletic program, and university.

#Norm Chow #( . Y . )#Recruits

The Coaching Short List

It all comes down to defining expectations. Do we expect to be nationally ranked every year? Do we expect to go to a BCS bowl game every 4 or 5 years? Do we expect to compete for the conference championship every year?

The powers that be need to define what success for our football program looks like. Heck, the community-at-large needs to be able to define what success looks like. If not, we'll be setting ourselves up for disappointment no matter who steps in to fill the head coach's shoes.

Here's another way to look at things: If the definition of success for our program is a bowl game at the end of the year, McMackin and the teams he guided were only one or two plays away of going 4 for 4.

'08 - 7- 7. It was amazing that we made the Hawaii Bowl, given that we lost Colt, Davone, Ryan, Jason and C.J.

'09 - 6 - 7. If Spencer Smith comes up with the interception against UNLV, Tank Hopkins doesn't get beat and we win, the Wisconsin loss doesn't matter and we still go to the Hawaii bowl.

'10 - 10 - 4. A WAC championship. An embarrassing loss to Tulsa. Losing Kealoha Pilares in the first quarter hurt ... a lot.

'11 - 6 - 7. If Dick Tomey's special teams converts the PAT at San Jose State ... or they manage to tackle the hobbling defender, we win. Nevermind the monumental collapse against Utah State. The San Jose State game was the one that we had the best chance to come away with a victory.

***

Now that Greg McMackin has stepped out of the way, here's who I can see as the final candidates for the University of Hawaii head coaching vacancy:

Pat Hill

Jerry Glanville

Rich Miano

We either bite the bullet and swap out the offensive scheme now or we hang onto the run and shoot and modify it. If it's the latter, maintaining Rolo as the OC would be a smart thing to do. The current players (the Freshmen and Sophs) matter more than the incoming recruiting class. Don't get me wrong, we still need to go out and harvest talent, but we'd be hurting a whole lot more if there's a mass exodus of current players due to the coaching change. I would even suggest that we give Rolo more leeway to experiment and expand the offense. Over the years, Rolo has added hints of speed/read option and play action passing. He should be given the freedom to add more wrinkles:

Tight Ends — think New England Patriots. They'd be our new possession guys, match-up nightmares for opposing DBs, and would help in bringing more run into the run and shoot if the OC were to choose to go that way.

Blur — Injecting hints of the Blur offense to keep teams off balance. Imagine a few drives where the UH football team suddenly goes no huddle.

Trick plays/Fake Punts/Fake Field Goals — there were a couple of times this year where a trick play or fake punt/field goal would have caught the defense off guard. Given the woes of our special teams, I'm surprised we didn't try any fake kicks at all.

And if McMackin is sincere in his stated interest in helping out the university, he'd be a great candidate to step back into the DC role for our next head coach.

#UH Football #Head Coach #Rich Miano #Jerry Glanville #Pat Hill

Mack got Whacked. I will work for 90% less than his old salary ($110,000 a year).

My resume highlights:

I am adept at clock management

I know how to use timeouts properly

I know when to go for two points

I played a lot of Madden Football so I am familiar with terminology

I won't let key players go to Zanzabar nightclub before big games

I will not let players sleep with each other's significant others

I will not use the term "fagg*t" more than once in any interview

I will advise fans when to bet the under instead of the spread

Hawaii High School Fans Show UH Fans What's Up

It was great to watch Kahuku beat Obama's alma-mater last night for the State Title. I'm beginning to think we should pay Kahuku Red Raider fans to attend UH games. Seriously. They are a spirited, well-organized, rabid fan base that gets it. The energy they bring to the stadium pumps up the other fans and players on the sidelines too. I also think it's time Iolani made its way back up to D1.

Support through Suck

Look, as much as I bitch about how terrible we are or have been, I still go to every home game AND order it on TV. I even pay for a premium stall.

No, I'm not rich.

But I realize if I ever want our team to take it to the next level, we need fans that will support the team through the shit as well as through the shine. Our fans here in Hawaii are the worst in the nation when it comes to supporting the team through the lean times. I would go as far to say our fans are lazy--they don't stand at games, they don't want to fight through traffic, they don't donate to the program (even a $5 donation would go a long way if everyone did it)--they don't do a lot of things that college football fan bases across the country do.

Maybe it's the culture. Maybe it's the coach. Who knows. But then again, even the magical 2007 season was slow to garner support. It was like 2/3rds of the way through before we finally had an almost full house of fans.

I remember being in awe of the Georgia fans at the Superdome. They were so well organized, had specific cheers AND unified motions for first downs, touchdowns and big plays; they knew all the words to the fight song, school song, and stood for most of the game. It's actually a good thing they wore black and we wore white, because despite being outnumbered 3-to-1, their seats looked empty whereas our sections looked full. If if they had wore red, the intimidation factor might have had an effect on the already ugly final score. Of course there's a flip side to that, too. Some of them were downright obnoxious and rude out on the streets before and after game time. It was both amusing and annoying that Bulldog fans would get in your face and bark at you out of the blue.

#Fairweather Fans #Balls

We Used To Have Gamebreakers

Kealoha Pilares went 101 yards to the house in the first half of the Panther's game against the Lions. Davone Bess has a couple of catches and a touchdown in the first half against the Bills.

David Graves for Heisman.

Here's what needs to happen:

1. Let Graves take all the snaps for the rest of the season. We ride him, win or lose. He's going to learn.

2. McMackin needs to follow the example set forth by Fresno State's Pat Hill and take a voluntary pay cut of at least $400,000 for next season. If possible, he should give back part of his salary for this season. Right now, it's costing UH roughly $220,000 for each victory. That's FUBAR.

3. UH administrators need to get their shit together and figure out what they're going to do beyond next season in regards to the coaching situation. They'll need to make an announcement one way or the other, otherwise, recruiting is going to suck balls and we'll be up shit's creek for the next 2-3 years.

4. Our wide receivers need to learn the f**king offense. There were multiple times when we had multiple guys occupying the same space. While they're at it, they should hit the weight room and make love to the JUGS machine.

#David Graves for Heisman

Fresno State's Player of the Game

Congratulations, John Hardy-Tuliau, Fresno State's player of the game. We here at the Warrior Write-up would like to commend JHT on his stellar play for the Bulldogs. Here are JHT's top three highlights from tonight's game:

1. Graciously allowed Jalen Saunders to get behind him for a 44-yard score on Fresno's first drive of the game.

2. Pulled a Nightcrawler and phased out of reality as the ball sailed through his body into the hands of Josh Harper for a 43-yard touchdown in the 4th quarter.

3. After Derek Carr tragically botched the snap, stumbled forward and fumbled, John Hardy-Tuliau saved the day by punching the ball away from a slew of enemy Hawaii defensive players and into the waiting arms of a Fresno State player who secured the football for a key first down.

#Fresno State #Hawaii Warriors #John Hardy-Tuliau #Player of the Game

Graves threw up. You know who else used to throw up? Colt. I think we got this.

At least I'll get two free tacos.

The fan sitting behind me.

Better facilities. Better recruits. Better boosters. SMU is like the girl from She's All That after she loses the big-rimmed glasses, ditches the boy clothes, weaves in some hair extensions, glues on a pair of fake eyelashes, cakes on the makeup and "suddenly" becomes super hot. I don't blame June, I would've "hit it," too, considering UH had no where to go but down. Nevermind, we'll find someone like you we'll make due with whatever we can.

#June Jones #Cyber-stalker Friday #No this isn't meant to be taken seriously

Keys to the Game (vs. Fresno State)

5-5 with this year's schedule? Inconceivable!!

1. Poison. Find out where Fresno State is staying and lace their pre-game meal with iocane powder.

2. Rolo and Lelie. Strap 'em up and send 'em in—Rolo can "toss" on the #17 jersey and Ash can "grab" the #2. Former glory boys suiting up FTW.

3. Special teams. If UH kicks 20 field goals, we score 60. Win.

4. Sack Fresno QB Derek Carr 60,000 times. Not only would victory be practically guaranteed, it would also lift our program to new heights by generating $30,000,000 in revenue; every time UH sacks an opposing quarterback, McDonalds donates $500. We could then use the money to cheat with the best of the big boy programs.

#Fresno State #winning

The Victor Predictor: Fresno St. Bulldogs (3-7, 2-3) @ Hawai‘i Warriors (5-5, 3-3)

It's Warrior Wednesday, which means it's time for some predictions.

WW: Hey, Vic! Thanks for stopping by to talk about Hawai‘i's upcoming game with Fresno State. This is the second Saturday in a row that we'll be in a dogfight.

VP: Yes.

WW: Sweet. I'd like to start off with an important question that's on everyone's mind — Team Jacob or Team Edward?

I guess the recent influx of mutts have got me thinking about Breaking Dawn and how much I don't want to see it but have to because my wife said so.

VP: Outlook hazy. Ask again later.

WW: All right, will do, though I don't blame you for dodging the last question ...

*awkward silence*

Alrighty then, I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty confident going into this week despite losing our starting QB for the season. Although, I think my confidence has to do with how surprisingly bad Fresno has been this year as opposed to how surprisingly good bad we've ... hmmmm.

VP: Outlook not so good.

WW: You're right. I thought San Jose State and UNLV were gonna be gimmes. I figured Utah State would be tougher than most people had given them credit for, although there was no way in hell that I thought that we'd lose the way that we did. The loss to the Aggies (III) was so balls that I made the decision to erase the memories from my long term memory by running my smartphone back and forth over my frontal lobes.

VP: It is decidedly so.

WW: But you gotta admit, Fresno is coming off a tough loss to New Mexico State, 48 - 45, the first time they've lost to them in like, forever, and they just fired their DC, Randy Stewart, and promoted their linebackers coach, Tim Skipper. We might actually be able to score points.

VP: Don't count on it.

WW: Yea. Now that I think about it, watching Hawai‘i's offense work against Fresno's defense is what I imagine it would be like to watch 2 and 3 year old boys terrorize each other at a daycare during playtime: lots of screaming, running around, bashing into each other, everybody doing their own thing and nothing really happening except ... chaos.

VP: Without a doubt.

WW: I guess it's kinda scary. Fresno really has nothing to lose and everything to gain, while the Warriors are still fighting for a bowl showdown against SMU, which by the way, is what everyone is hoping for because it would be fantastic. Heck, even June Jones has secretly wished aloud that he'd like to face the Warriors in the 2011 Hawai‘i Bowl, because he thinks it would be cool ... or because he thinks that ugly ol' us would get rolled over by his pretty new girlfriend team.

VP: Yes.

WW: Oh well. Prediction time. Do you think Hawai‘i will be hoisting up the Golden Sheldon Screwdriver Trophy? Will we bask in the glory of victory, despite a second string QB, a bunch of under-performing wide receivers, an O-line that's experienced at being inexperienced, an inconsistent (but improving) special teams, and a defense that has not quite lived up to the hype?

VP: Cannot predict now.

WW: Bleh. Well I'm saying we have a chance.

VP: Don't count on it.

#Hawaii Warriors #Fresno State Bulldogs #Victor Predictor #Lloyd Christmas #Breaking Dawn

Baby Steps

Without hesitation, our coaches actually knew to go for two being down 14-12 to Nevada in the first half. Amazing! I wonder if this helped make their decision any easier.

Our good friend Victor will be stopping by the blog tomorrow to give his insights on the upcoming pillow fight with Fresno State.

Stay tuned!

#Progress #Baby Steps

The Secret is Out ...

... in case it isn't, I've encrypted the article below with Mad Lib technology to keep our weaknesses hidden from enemy eyes.

I'm going off of memory at this point as re-watching the DVRed games again are just _________ (adverb, swear word) _________ (adjective). But I can't bring myself to delete them.

Yes, I have a sickness. I know I need help. But can anyone out there answer the following question:

How many times have you seen a WAC defensive secondary extensively play _________ (a type of defensive coverage) against the Warriors?

I say WAC because in general, WAC defenses suck. And obviously, Georgia, from the NFL South East, doesn't count because they had superior athletes that were sent from the future.

It's not a rhetorical question. I seriously want to know.

Our last two opponents felt comfortable enough to get physical with our _________ (guys that catch the ball). And usually you only play _________ (a type of defensive coverage) if you think your secondary has bigger _________ (insert plural noun) than the opposing team's _________ (guys that catch the ball).

Honestly, I don't blame them. I'd do the same thing if I were matching up against this year's __________ (guys that catch the ball) who either run plod around the field converging on the same spot like it's a warm barrel fire on a cold winter evening or juke themselves to the turf after catching a ball. Watching them move post catch is _________ (adverb, swear word) _________ (adjective). Truthfully speaking, I think Artax's distance covered trudging through the Swamp of Sadness was more substantial than these guys' YACs combined.

Anyway, back on subject; two weeks ago, once halftime broke, I watched #13 (before he left the game with busted ribs) get shoved to the turf at the line of scrimmage more than once by the defense. Our other _________ (guys that catch the ball) didn't fare any better in trying to get separation from the DBs.

Against Nevada, I could only sit and watch as the Wolfpack defense did the same _________ (another word for poop). No respect. It was like they were begging us to burn them deep down the sidelines or toast them on a quick slant up the seam. But we couldn't get any _________ (rhymes with bucking) separation.

You remember the play that went to the house only to get called back by a phantom "illegal hands to the face" penalty? Well it went all the way home not because we were crying "wee, wee, wee" but because Nevada's Defensive Coordinator, Andy Buh, had a "WE'RE ALL UP IN YO FACE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT" type of defense called. Once #27 broke a few tackles at the line of scrimmage, there was no one deep to stop him. No respect.

Before you dismiss it by saying something like, "defenses are only playing us aggressively because our starting guys are injured." I'd like to remind you all that #18, #5 and #80 ARE our starting guys if you go by what our coaches _________ (here's your chance, fire away) thought at the beginning of the season. #89 needs still needs time to blossom. In a year or two, he'll be a beast. Even as a true freshman, he's a billion times better than #81 only for the sheer fact that he doesn't fumble the _________ (rhymes with sucking) ball.

I guess the point is that our _________ (guys that catch the ball) are _________ (opposite of fast), they don't yet completely understand the _________ (opposite of defense), aren't very _________ (quick or shifty ... oops), and aren't very _________ (an Olivia Newton John song from the 80's). The bottom line is that opposing defenses don't respect our _________ (guys that catch the ball) because they aren't as athletic or smart as in year's past.

The secret is out.

#The Secret #Press Coverage #No Respect

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