Misogyny and Racism: Party Edition
This post is a rant more so than anything else. I apologize for the tediousness or fleetingness, which may or may not ensue. Here goes the tale of last night....
After a few drinks at my friend's apartment party last night, I head over to new party to meet up with Evan. I'm a bit tipsy playing a few drinking games when my friend, lets call him Shane, approaches me. Before I get into the story, I should preface I met Shane because he was one of my good friend's floor mates. I've had numerous encounters with Shane and overall Shane has always been a pretty good nice guy.
Anyways, Shane pulls me aside and starts telling me about how we should hang out and how he never gets to see me etc. I assume this is the normal catching-up type of conversation and I decide to take a seat with Shane in a more private area. This is where everything went wrong.
Shane begins to try to sweet talk me calling me beautiful and how he's liked me since freshman year etc. His kind words quickly turn to spiteful gestures as he realizes I'm not interested in the whole hook-up prospect. He begins to tell me that he just wanted to hook up with a black girl and he thinks I am a pretty hot... for a black girl.
This is where I started to get pissed. I proceed to tell him, if he just wants to hook up with any black girl, I'm sure there are plenty of others. Not to mention that I find it offensive that I can not just be an attractive individual, but my race has to be included in the rating scale. Sure, we all have our preferences of what races we like, but an attractive person is attractive regardless of their race. Shane begins to try to cover his track by saying "You're not like other black girls though. You look different and you don't act like them. You're not even full black. You're pretty". And this is where I about lost it... I don't act like them? I don't look like them? What are black women supposed to act like? What are black women supposed to look like? Would it be a problem if I was full black? Is it only okay for me to be black because 'I'm not really black' and somehow fall outside the mold of what constitutes stereotypical black women?
But wait, Shane's charming ways don't stop there. Shane begins to ask me why I won't just kiss him once. All he wants is one kiss with me and it's not even that big of a deal (Mind you this is after his whole racist tirade). As I try to keep my composure without blowing up on him, I kindly tell him I'm not interested in kissing people at parties and yes, it's happened in the past, but I prefer spending time with guys I'm involved with sexually (even if it's just kissing). This is where Shane, being the chivalrous guy he is, asks if I would go out with him sometime. I immediately decline and told him I would prefer to stay friends. Mind you, I declined because I would never allow myself to get involved with someone as racist and disrespectful as him. If he would of asked prior to this conservation, I most likely would have obliged him with a date because he seemed like a pretty cool guy.
As soon as I shut down his request, Shane starts calling me a bitch because I won't go on a date with him. He then enlightens me that he was only really talking to me because he was waiting for his friend to get to the party. Of course, he was only talking to me to occupy his time until his friend arrived.. just like he was only talking me to hook up with a black girl. I realized this was my cue to leave. As soon as I stood up, he grabbed me and pleaded with me to stay. I turned around and ever so sweetly told him to let me go; I didn't want to waste my Saturday night with a misogynistic, racist prick.
Luckily for me, I had an amazing night to follow. I ended up hanging out with Evan and a couple of his friends, who turned out to be really nice chill guys. I didn't get home until about 4 AM.
All in all, it ended up being a lovely Saturday night. I dodged a misogynistic, racist prick and enjoyed good company. What more can you want from a night out?
