When I was younger I was very right-wing. I meanâŠvery right-wing. I wonât go into detail, because Iâm very deeply ashamed of it, but whatever youâre imagining, itâs probably at least that bad. Iâve taken out a lot of pain on others; Iâve acted in ignorance and waved hate like a flag; Iâve said and did things that hurt a lot of people.
There are artefacts of my past selves online â some of which Iâve locked down and keep around to remind me of my past sins, some of which Iâve scrubbed out, some of which are out of my grasp. If I were ever to become famous, people could find shit on me that would turn your stomach.
But thatâs not me anymore. Iâve learned so much in the last ten years. Iâve become more open to seeing things through othersâ eyes, and reforged my anger to turn on those who harm others rather than on those who simply want to exist. Iâve learned patience and compassion. Iâve learned how to recognise my privileges and listen to othersâ perspectives. Iâve learned to stand up for others, how to hear, how to help, how to correct myself. And I learned some startling shit about myself along the way â with all due irony, some of the things I used to lash out at others for are intrinsic parts of myself.
You wouldnât know what I am now from what I was then. You wouldnât know what I was then from what I am now.
It distresses me deeply to think of someone dredging up my dark, awful past and treating me as though that furiously hateful person is still me. It distresses me to see others dredging up the past for anyone who has made efforts to become a better person, out of some sick obsession with proving theyâre âproblematic.â
Purity culture tells you that once someone says or does something, they can never go back on it. Thatâs a goddamn lie. While itâs true that some remain unrepentant and never change their ways and continue to harm others, itâs important to allow everyone the chance to learn from their mistakes. Saying something ignorant isnât murder. Please stop treating it that way. Let people grow.