Summary:
Day 4 of @mattmelloweek: Reversed trope - Unrequited Hate
Matt thinks Mello looks cool and wants to befriend him. Mello, however, thinks that Matt wants to steal his second-place position in the list of L’s possible successors.
Relationships: Matt/Mello, Matt & Mello
Tags: unrequited hate, academic rivalry, one-sided rivalry, one-sided hate, wammy's house era, pre-relationship, mentioned Near
Author's note: This was written for day 4 of mattmello week: Reversed Trope. For today’s trope I picked “unrequited hate”. I’m so sorry I posted this late! I’ve been going through some stuff and I’ve got the worst fever ever, so I guess I had too much on my plate to do this on time lol.
I’m doing a tiny bit better though, so hopefully this is not too bad! The title is a reference to Charli XCX’s song called Girl, So Confusing.
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Being a detective had never been on top of Matt’s priorities. Of course, he knew that he would be good at it —being third on the list of Wammy’s smartest students was no joke—, but he was certain that he could find satisfaction in life while choosing any other career. He was only fourteen, anyway; he still had plenty of time to figure out what he wanted to do with his life.
Mello, though, was completely sure about the path he wanted to follow. Surpassing Near and becoming L’s successor was his ultimate goal, and he was willing to do anything to get there. Obviously, that included isolating himself from kids his age. Hanging out or making friends was a waste of time; he’d much rather study and investigate complicated topics during his time off.
Matt admired that about him. Even though other students found him a bit intense —”he’s so scary when he’s concentrating,” they’d say during tests and exams—, he thought he was interesting. He was incredibly smart, almost scarily so, but Matt wouldn’t consider him a nerd. In fact, he kind of looked like a cool guy; his completely black outfits and the piercing look on his eyes made him look intriguing.
Matt wasn’t a particularly social person, but seeing that Mello wasn’t either, he thought that it could be a good idea to befriend him. Maybe he would get to see a new side of him, one that other people didn’t know about; he was sure that, underneath his intimidating exterior, laid a possible friend.
So, he tried to approach him in every way possible. During lunch time, he would always sit as close to Mello as he could. Even if they didn’t talk, Matt wanted Mello to notice him. That way, he would feel a bit more familiar with him. One day, during psychology class, Matt even gained the courage to actually speak to Mello.
“God, I hate this class. Don’t you?”
He didn’t get an answer. For his own sanity, he assumed Mello hadn’t heard him speak, or maybe he thought Matt was talking to someone else. He made sure to think about something more direct for next time, something that could only be aimed towards him. He noticed that Mello was the only boy in their class who wore Dr. Martens, so he decided to use that in his favour.
“Those Docs you’re wearing look so cool, dude!” He pointed out while they waited for their teacher to come.
This time, all he got was a barely noticeable nod.
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Mello hated all of his competence.
Near was, by far, his most despised enemy. He was annoying, childish, and unbearably intelligent; he was always one step ahead of Mello, which frustrated him greatly. But, of course, Mello was intelligent enough not to let his rivalry with Near distract him from his competition with the other children on the list. Matt, needless to say, was no stranger to him. He was an adversary whom he had meticulously studied, noting all of his weaknesses and abilities and making sure to know how to deal with every single one of them.
Socializing definitely wasn’t one of said abilities. So, when Matt started sitting next to him whenever he had the chance, trying to engage in small talk —”God, I hate this class. Don’t you?”—, and, worst of all, complimenting him —”Those Docs you’re wearing look so cool, dude!”—, he knew that something was up. Surely, he was trying to sabotage Mello to steal his place; he must have wanted to distract Mello from his studies, attempting to get a chance to become second on the list. It wasn’t that bad of a plan, but Mello wasn’t going to fall for it.
He made a point to never give Matt what he wanted. He nodded or shook his head at most of his statements, not uttering a single word, and made sure to stay as far away from him as he could. For a few weeks, his plan worked just fine; the next semester was coming up, and he was certain that his rank wasn’t in any danger.
Unfortunately, the annual roommate switch managed to ruin things for him.
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Matt had given up on befriending Mello after learning about his extreme aloofness towards him; whenever he tried to start a conversation, he was faced with distance and coldness. To say it didn’t hurt his ego a little bit would be a lie, but he didn’t have an issue accepting that he didn’t stand a chance of becoming his pal.
Well, that’s what he thought until he saw his name next to Mello’s in the big list that hung on the dining room’s wall.
Roommates. It could definitely be an opportunity for him to try and get to know the boy better. Certainly, it would make them become, at least, a little bit closer. Maybe Mello would realize that Matt was actually cool, too. Then, they could finally get to know each other better.
He turned around, trying to find Mello between the crowd of students that eagerly searched for their own names in the large file that stood in front of them.
When he finally located his face, all he could see was an overly exaggerated expression of horror.
What was that reaction for? Why did Mello dislike him so much? Matt barely tried to talk to him, but he stopped bothering him as soon as he saw that he wasn’t getting anywhere. That wasn’t that bad, was it?
For some reason, Mello despised him. And Matt, never the one to start a fight, decided to let him be. He would simply keep things respectful once they shared a room. It was a shame —Mello did seem like a cool person, after all—, but he didn’t feel like forcing anyone to befriend him, not when he had always been well by himself anyway.
Well, maybe he would still try a little bit. He’d be a bit nicer to Mello than he was to everyone else. Maybe that way, he could still sneak his way into Mello’s bubble.
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Sharing a room with Matt was hell. Matt was always polite, and Mello couldn’t stand the fact that it seemed so genuine. He had to be faking, right? Why would he actually try to be nice to Mello if he didn’t want anything from him?
He felt skeptical about the whole situation, and decided to keep avoiding Matt as much as he could. At night, he’d go to sleep extra early just to skip any type of conversation that Matt could come up with. In the mornings, he woke up before anyone else and left the room as quickly as he could. He hid himself in different areas of the orphanage, such as the library or the chapel, just so his new roommate wouldn’t find him. He was sure that Matt wanted something from him, something that could cost him his second place position, and he wasn’t gonna pay that price for anything in the world.
But running away constantly quickly became exhausting, so he chose to look for a new way of getting Matt to leave him alone.
Sometimes, being straightforward was the only option.
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“Hey,” Matt said, entering their room.
Mello stood up, facing the door defiantly, with crossed arms. “What do you want from me?” he asked him in an accusing tone.
Matt didn’t understand anything. He had come to terms with the fact that Mello didn’t like him —his face when he first saw that they had to share a room had made that obvious—, but he still tried to be cordial towards him. What had he done wrong now?
“Uh,” he started, wondering what he was meant to say. “I just wanted to say hi, really.”
“Stop lying! I know you’re trying to distract me,” Mello continued with a condemnatory voice, “you keep acting all friendly and I know that you’re scheming something!”
Now he was really confused. What the fuck was Mello talking about?
“I really don’t know what you mean there, man,” he managed to answer.
“If you’re jealous of me being in second place, just say so. You’re not going to take my spot, and you know it. So stop! Stop following me around and trying to distract me with compliments and random comments or whatever you plan on doing.” He uncrossed his arms and huffed.”I know that you want to be the next L, but that is something that only I can accomplish, understood? The battle here is between Near and me. You’re not even close to my level.”
Matt processed everything he had just heard. Jealous? Battle? Near? What?
“Look, I’m sorry, but I, uh…” he tried to understand, “I don’t care about you and Near.”
Mello looked at him with an angry expression, as if he had just said something ridiculously disrespectful.
“What I mean is,” Matt justified himself, “I don’t really care that much. About the list, I mean”
“You’re third on the list, Matt. No one gets there if they don’t want to be there.” His eyes narrowed as he waited for Matt to continue explaining.
“I just, I don’t even know if I want to be a detective,” he cleared up. “I’m just really good at schoolwork, I guess. You can keep your title, I don’t want it.”
Mello looked as puzzled as ever. “So… why did you talk to me? And follow me? And why do you always act so kind and nice, huh?”
Matt felt his face redden with embarrassment.
“Oh. About that… yeah, I’m sorry if I annoyed you. I just, um, I guess I just thought you were cool? I just thought that you looked like someone I could get along with,” he said.
“So… no competition?” Mello asked.
“No competition at all,” Matt confirmed.
The air felt a bit lighter now that they had finally had their first actual conversation, as awkward as it was. Mello’s appearance suddenly softened, and Matt felt like he had finally cracked his hard exterior, just a little.
“Okay, then,” Mello continued, “I suppose that’s cleared up now.” His face still conveyed confusion, but he seemed to accept the fact that Matt didn’t want to steal his place.
A thick silence grew between them until Matt interrupted it. “So… your shoes; when did you get them?”
“I asked for them for my birthday.”
“Oh, that’s smart! I asked for the goggles when I turned fourteen. They’re cool, right?” he questioned, pointing at them with his index finger.
“Uh, yeah, sure” Mello obviously lied.
Just like that, they laughed together for what would be the first time of many.
“You’re not as bad as I thought you were, Matt,” Mello said after a few minutes of talking.
“You’re not too bad, either.”
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Author's note: I’ve noticed that most of my mellodramattic fics are pre-relationship, so I’ll try to write something else during this week ;)
