@waywardwes9 - Tumblr Blog

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

tomb-mold

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

misscrazyfangirl321

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

misscrazyfangirl321

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

anti-parent

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

anti-parent

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

vee-dmsr

sigmaleph

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

balaclava-trismegistus

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.