Things I Do Because I'm a Dork

Constantly crying because I'm the slowest at sewing in the world.

[gaypeopletwitter]

[johnmulaneys]

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney’s Success Hasn’t Gone To Their Heads - CONAN (26.02.2018)

[notunlikepride]

This is the first time I’ve seen John Mulaney in anything other than a suit and my brain is having trouble processing it

[northisnotup]

He dresses like he wants Tan from Queer Eye to be proud of him tbh

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

he’s dressed like the rockin twink he would have been going down on 

[konigstigerr]

orcs aren’t really mosters tbh. they’re demihumans. it’s barely above wanting to fuck catgirls.

[carnival-phantasm]

This is a hot take that could possibly lead to chaos in the already fragile monster fucking community

[andhumanslovedstories]

If I look at a mouth and instinctually know how to kiss it with my human mouth, it is not a monster, it is a variation on a person, probably with larger than average teeth. It isn’t a monster until I have to strategize

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

i gotta suspicion everyone got a secret hoard of something they keep hidden from their friends let if its shoes and makeup or like teacups that shits fine and all but once i went to my buddy mikes house and like,, well i knew him for years since like fucking 2006, we talk non stop,used to be my bff of the year and what not, ya whatever, i hop to get something from his basement once and i turn on the light and its littered with not a handful, but at least 20 hand made dollhouses with little trees and paint jobs and everything made from wood he harvested from his fathers construction company, all he missing is furniture and little people like FUCK that fucked me up so bad, but thats not the point of my story here see, it didnt fuck w me as much as after i visited my not so much anymore freinds house in 10th grade and she had a collection of her friends hair and she asked me for a snippet becasue she never had blue before and i went home and blocked her number anyway she jsut messaged me on instagram 30 min ago and i had to like sit in my kitchen in the dark for a while jsut thinking about how scary it is to know people but not know them at all

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

heres some pics cuz i actually i love his little houses they just took me by surprise cuz he aint seem like the type

[king-archive-deactivated2018111]

oh it aint me!!! i bitched to him that he got like 0 fucking people living in his fucking basement village so he was all, then fucking buy me some??

so i went on a miniture dollhouse website and bought him his first citizen and he laughed cuz it was this lil motherfucker

if u look closely hes the black dot in the first pic in front of the white house!!!

[neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2]

This is cute and I’m glad you were so supportive of something he was embarrassed of

[van-dyne]

// What kind of a disney princess are you? (insp)

[karadin]

The Captain Would Be Proud!

San Jose City Councilman Lan Diep sworn into office

Occupy protester Andy Yung Wai-yib 

Vishavjit Singh the Sikh Captain America and Falcon Cap 

Stephen Colbert with the shield given to him after the ‘death’ of Cap in the comics

Cap sign at the Women’s March on Washington

DAPL protester with Cap Shield

Vet protesting Republican shut down of government in US dressed as Cap

Woman with shield at Woman’s March on Washington

[john15-10]

Captain America would most definitely be Republican, go ahead and take this headcanon from my COLD DEAD HANDS.

[karadin]

Son, what makes you think Captain America would be a REPUBLICAN? First off, he’s the son of Irish Immigrants, which in his day were maligned and discriminated against , secondly, he’s an artist who grew up poor and near one of New York’s gay communities, he also grew up disabled in an era where Eugenics was on the rise and people would have berated him for being a burden on society,  he grew up during the rise of socialism in the US. so he’s a backer of the New Deal, Social Security and Unions, help for the poor and the working class. He had the first intregrated unit in the Army (in the comics and the mcu) and in the MCU had a woman as his superior officer. And in the movies his best friends and allies are THE FALCON and THE BLACK WIDOW.

 In real life Steve Rogers was created by two young Jewish men who had Cap punch Hitler in the face on the cover of Cap’s first comic book when the US didn’t want to enter the War.  That’s a political statement of intent that rings true today.

Damn right Cap would never be a Republican, not when the leader of their party the Orange Imbecile is giving aid to foreign enemies and spewing white supermacist hate. Notice how ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE ABOVE POST ARE NOT REPUBLICANS.

[mosaicabstract]

i forgot to mention what I love most about ragnarok: that rangarok took all of the character assassination bullshit from the dark world and age of ultron and turned it on its ass.

dark world implies loki killed his father to take the crown? ragnarok makes loki a blassé and nonviolent leader that just dropped his dad off at a nursing home. GOD OF MISCHIEF. not god of death or god of pain and suffering. MISCHIEF. 100% the most in-character Loki Thing he’s done since the first thor movie. not only that but not for one second does thor ever think loki capable of killing their father. because he isn’t.

the dark world makes thor say a bunch of horrible and damaging things to loki? ragnarok has him still struggle with it but legitimately come to rational terms with everything enough to show their disfunctional but ultimately loving relationship.

age of ultron creates the dumbest romantic trope in the history of man between natasha and bruce? ragnarok makes so much fun of it to the point where it’s shown to be as ridiculous as it is.

the dark world AND age of ultron make thor this broody and unfunny mythical being? ragnarok fuckin made sure that was no longer the case because what makes thor so wonderful is his moral compass, aloofness, and kindness.

they literally fixed the infinity gauntlet plot hole in 0.0002 seconds. this movie took everything wrong with the MCU and fuckin fixed it

god, what a movie

[johanirae]

Also, Heimdall. In both Thor movies he is implied to be all powerful, all-seeing, but seemed to be always nerfed by being stuck to his post and yet unable to do a lot when confronted with the big bad of the movie. In Thor 3? Woah, guess what, he ISN’T chained to the gate, and woah, can use his all seeing vision to telepathically respond to Thor to advise him on how to escape AND can rally the refugees of Asgard to safety. He got to do more as the guardian of Asgard than in the first two movies COMBINED.

[cocconutoil-deactivated20181024]

MUSLIMS ARE GETTING PUT IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN CHINA

MUSLIMS ARE GETTING PUT IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN CHINA

MUSLIMS ARE GETTING PUT IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN CHINA

MUSLIMS ARE GETTING PUT IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN CHINA

[byelkyrie-deactivated20200204]

Links to articles about this in The Independent and The Washington Post.

[hundondestiny]

“Muslims forced to drink alcohol and eat pork in China’s ‘re-education’ camps, former inmate claims ‘The psychological pressure is enormous when you have to criticise yourself, denounce your thinking,’ says detainee” these are from may 2018.

[honeyloves]

The majority being discriminated against are called Uyghurs. Khazaks, Uzbeks, and Tajiks are also being ostracized. They are Turkic minorities. They are people. And the world is unaware.

There is an estimated one million people in these so called “re-education camps”. Uyghur people are being forced to assimilate into Chinese culture through marriage. Uyghur children are forced to learn Mandarin and Uyghurqi, the language, is prohibited to be taught in schools. There is a lot of Uyghur unemployment due to ethnic discrimination. Uyghur people are routinely, unjustly imprisoned, and many die. An elderly Uyghur poet was imprisoned. An Uyghur couple my family knows was beaten, and the wife suffered a miscarriage. These are just a few examples of discrimination.

Rebiya Kadeer is fighting for our voices to be heard. She is one of many who was unjustly imprisoned, due to her political activism. She was put on death row and was told to keep quiet or her family would be killed. More than 30 of her relatives have been unjustly detained in the concentration camps. Read her book (Dragon Fighter).

My culture is forcefully being erased. My people are dying. Who is listening? Who can help us?

This is ethnic cleansing.

This is the coming of the second Holocaust. I know that that word cannot be used lightly, which is why I am using it. I hope you all understand the severity of the situation.

Please spread the word. Be aware of this. Tell your friends, your family, anyone who will listen.

Uyghurs can’t reach out for help, but you can on their behalf.

Please.

[tankaramo]

me, after buying things for myself and trying not to feel guilty about it: *through gritted teeth* s-self care

[eroscestlavie]

i can’t believe thor wearing arm guards with loki’s helmet on them in avengers AND thor having a strand of loki’s hair braided into his own hair in age of ultron are both real things that the costume department did and loki in ragnarok still has the gall to ask poor thor “did you mourn me?” like yes loki you made your jock brother so sad that he started accessorizing 

[bpdbot]

sometimes i have too many emotions and sometimes i have none at all but i always always feel like i’m drowning

[thesaurio]

Learn how to swim Bitch

[bpdbot]

i made this post when i was in A Mood and all the replies are so angst and depressing except this Whole Ass Mood. Learn how to swim Bitch it’s 2018 we’re dealing with our problems

[firebreathingeli]

The most interesting type of self care to me is Depressed™ self care

[firebreathingeli]

Like when you decide to eat a healthy meal as part of self care but you’re sad and have no motivation to make it, so you end up eating a piece of bread, a raw carrot, and a handful of almonds you found at the bottom of a trail mix bag and call it a well balanced meal

[firebreathingeli]

Or sitting in the shower for two hours staring into the void and calling it “me time”

[firebreathingeli]

– Using a vice (food, drugs, shopping, TV, etc) to feel better and justify it to yourself as “unwinding” and “self care” no matter how much you do it

Taking a sick day, telling yourself that it’s the day you’ll pull everything together, but you end up doing it over and over again

Drinking 4 glasses of water at once to “revitalize” 

Bingeing on vitamins for several days, in an attempt to be more healthy, then giving up

Taking multiple depression naps a day and lying to yourself every time that they will make you feel alert and happy afterwards

Deciding to exercise one time, for 15 minutes, before you lose motivation 

[howlingguardian]

Nah, nah, nah, Humans might turn out to be the Deathworlders or the Pack-Bond-To-Everything species, but I’ve got an idea what we’d be.

The thing I’ve heard most about Breath Of The Wild is that everyone wants to bang the shark guy.

The thing I’ve heard most about Mass Effect is that you can seduce all the aliens. (And that the ending for the third game was bad, I don’t know, I never played it.)

You see a picture of an alien,(or an elf or an orc or whatever) and there will be a comment somewhere of what said alien would be like in bed.

That’s our role in the universe- that no matter how strange the species, there is a human somewhere who will try to seduce them.

[epersonae]

For everything that exists, there is:

A human who will try to bang it

A human who will try to pet it

A human who will try to hunt it (or possibly cook it)

[anonymousalchemist]

the three human instincts: FIGHT, FRIEND, FUCK 

[umblrgumblr-deactivated20201112]

aliens learn about the game Fuck Marry Kill and suddenly everything about humanity makes sense

[caden]

yall r still mad at your high school english teachers for making u analyze shakespeare or hemingway to teach you the most basic understanding of metaphor and themes in art. thats a good thing dude. if people on here were more literate in that stuff we wouldnt have like. reylo shippers

[caden]

reylo stans could show up at my place with a gun and i still wouldnt care enough to read their replies 

[muggertime]

“No more field trips.”

[mlmgods]

i’m a sleepy gay that’s just how it is don’t expect me to ever be fully awake i’m always tired i slep

[susiephone]

favorite story: apparently, while filming “black swan,” the director would try to pit mila kunis and natalie portman against each other, telling them that the other woman was doing a better job, in hopes of making their characters’ rivalry seem more authentic. but it completely backfired, since instead of getting angry or competitive, natalie and mila would just congratulate each other on doing such good work.

[firey-rising-demon-deactivated2]

Directors who do stuff like this are pieces of shit

[professorsparklepants]

What men think women are like verses what women are actually like

[iconicpopstar]

also this:

[catlovesmocalike]

Let’s name the director:  Darren Aronofsky. He has since directed mother! where he forced Jennifer Lawrence to reshoot a scene after she broke a rib or something. He is still really praised in cinephile circles, which is why I want to name and shame him. 

[siderealsandman]

There’s a fundamental narcissism that comes with this kind of director; the kind that thinks “these professional actors who have trained their whole lives to portray emotion can’t give a good performance unless I, The Director, enforce method acting.”