let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
if i look back, i am lost
Kaledo Art
taylor price
h
Sade Olutola
AnasAbdin
No title available
roma★
ojovivo
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
almost home
noise dept.
Jules of Nature
hello vonnie
Discoholic 🪩
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Peter Solarz
Today's Document
cherry valley forever
seen from United States
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seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from Finland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Malaysia
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@wefelloffawall
old people: Nobody cares about me and nobody ever does anything for me.
younger people: We've set up this quarantine that's stressful and unpleasant for everyone, explicitly because we fear for and value your lives.
old people: Fuck you I'm going to the shops.
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
i want one
By Susie’s Art
chag pesach sameach, I made a matzah alignment chart
is that a fucking lasagna
@ihatejonarbuckle
@raeloganthesonic06fangirl
Well, I mean, Garfield does care
Anyone who’s ever owned a cat knows that they have thier own ways to show they love you
An often overlooked thing about Garfield is between the snark and schemes, he’s really a loving kitty
I guess these aren’t as memorable as the wackier strips
But Jon can always count on Garfield to make him smile when it really matters
And Garfield knows that Jon cares
I swear, my cat is the same way, the below picture is an accurate portrait of how it is to have a dog and cat the same time.
Theory accepted
wholesome
It’s rare to see Garfield content on Tumblr that isn’t “Jon is a heartless monster” or “Garfield is some eldritch horror”
imagine holt and kevin babysitting for jake and amy so the couple can go out to enjoy their first work-free, child-free evening on the town since their six-month-old baby girl was born. It’s only gonna be for an hour or so, so they can get dinner and just chill without missing their baby too much. normal, right?
but then jake gets a tip from one of his sources that a drug dealer he’s been tracking for months is gonna be doing a deal in central park sometime that night…and he tells Amy who promptly says, “Yeah, let’s get this son of a bitch!”
There’s a pause. They both miss their little girl already, but because the guy is a major dealer with info on some of the city’s biggest, baddest drug runners, Jake calls Holt and explains the situation, and then sheepishly asks if he and Kevin could watch the baby just a little longer.
Camera pans to Holt. He’s holding the phone while in the next room over Kevin struggles to change a screaming baby’s diaper (he had the first one on backwards). There are toys and snacks and sippie cups strewn about the living room floor. But the Real Crisis: Cheddar has chewed up the baby’s teddy bear and she won’t stop crying without it. But because Holt loves his weird son and daughter-in-law (and because he loves justice, too) he agrees. Besides, he isn’t ready to admit that he’s been bested by an infant.
While Jake and Amy stake out their guy, Holt and Kevin try EVERYTHING to calm her down without Beary. Music, bouncing, a bottle, a pacifier (“It’s called a PACIFIER, Raymond, why won’t it PACIFY!?”) but nothing works. So, they do what all cops do and they call in backup.
First is Terry. He’s like, Superdad. So he comes over with a bunch of Cagney, Lacey, and Ava’s old toys in hopes of finding a replacement for Beary. But all are vehemently rejected, thrown to the ground, and the crying continues. Terry calls in Charles, who says he’ll bring over a soothing homemade formula that is SURE to put the baby to sleep. The baby takes two sips. The crying stops for a moment. But then she drops the bottle, projectile vomits on Charles and then starts crying all over again.
Charles calls Gina. Gina has a baby! She’ll know what to do! Gina comes over with Iggy’s old swaddling blankets and a noise machine she never used. She wraps the baby up and turns on a setting called Ocean Waves. But now it just sounds like the baby is crying at the beach.
Gina calls Rosa. “Can you come over and like, scare the baby into sleeping?” Rosa comes over. She picks up the baby, and she immediately calms down. The squad stares at them in awe.
“How on Earth did you manage that?” Holt asks, incredulous.
“You’re all freaking out, babies can sense crap like that.” Rosa sits down beside Holt on the couch and passes the sleeping infant over to him. She snuggles into his chest and curls her tiny arms around his bicep.
When Jake and Amy come to pick up their daughter after busting the perp and four of his men, they find the whole squad asleep in Holt and Kevin’s living room amid a mess of toys, blankets, stuffing from the late Beary, and a sound machine still playing Ocean Waves. Their baby is asleep on one of Holt’s shoulders, and Kevin is snoring on the other. Charles fell asleep at the kitchen table. Terry, on the floor, with Rosa and Gina passed out on either side of him.
Jake makes a mental note to buy everybody a round of drinks next time they’re at the bar as he takes Amy’s hand, and for a minute, they just smile. This, Jake realizes, is what it means to be part of a family.
if you’re neurodivergent and only know how to motivate yourself through hyperfocus or blind panic clap your hands
Not sure if it’s cool or gross, but you can see the lettuce going through their head
Definitely cool.
here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.
Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck
I made gift wrap out of this post
@koobaxion
jesus h christ
Kate McKinnon on Saturday Night Live, 1/26/19
are we sure this isn’t just a doubleclicks song
Ask me about my cat
Send me a number and I’ll answer for my cat
1. Name? 2. Fur color? 3. Any family you know (other than you)? 4. Age? 5. Favorite toy? 6. Nicknames? 7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? 8. Length of fluff? 9. Any funny habits? 10. How old were they when you met? 11. What does their food bowl look like? 12. Indoor or outdoor cat? 13. Recent picture? 14. Old picture? 15. Cuddly? 16. Ever changed their name? 18. Eye color? 19. How do they express love for you? 20. How do you express love for them? 21. Any theories on what breed? 22. Do they ever wake you up? 23. How much do they meow? 24. Any hiding spots? 25. Do they enjoy guests? 26. Lofty objects to sit on? 27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?) 28. How much shedding? 29. Do they enjoy brushing? 30. Ever drink from the toilet? 31. How do they get your attention? 32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done? 33. Weirdest thing they try to eat? 34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends? 35. What time do they eat breakfast? 36. Do you cut their nails? 37. Do you think they understand you? 38. Ever make fun of them? 39. Do you take their picture often? 40. Ever hiss at you? 41. Ever try to scratch or bite you? 42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do? 43. Do they ever eat bugs? 44. Canned or dry food? 45. Weight? 46. Ever got lost? 47. Do you buy them presents? 48. Do they respond when you call? 49. Do they ever see other cats? 50. Declawed? 51. Funniest expression? 52. Favorite place to be pet? 53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed? 54. Give them a head kiss. 55. What time of the year is most exciting for them? 56. Are they good at hunting real prey? 57. Do they ever attack nothing? 58. What are they doing right now? 59. How long have you had them? 60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you? 61. Ever baby-talk to them? 62. Favorite napping position? 63. Have you ever stepped on their paw? 64. Ever tripped you on stairs? 65. Any ear hair? 66. Favorite view from a window? 67. Describe why they are precious. 68. Fit the cat stereotype? 69. Chaotic neutral? 70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company? 71. Are you their favorite human? 72. Do they like tv? 73. Favorite noise to make? 74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?
Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head
I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.
Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!
