paradise is getting closer everyday

stephanie. 30s. she/her. brazil. 🌈 perfectdagger 💚💙 i'm still marvel trash my fics / rec blog / ao3

[wehelddarkness]

starsweredible → wehelddarkness

hi again and goodbye, for now! You can find me @somuchstrdst now. If you want to follow me there, feel free. I've already followed some people there 💖

This is more of an explanation for myself than for anyone. So, I've been debating a lot what to do with this blog, because due to life, I found myself very busy to keep up with it the way I have always done, and after some time away from it, I've noticed a change in how I feel about it here.

I've had this blog since 2009. This blog has been with me through the most crucial moments of my life, all the ups and downs, the changes, the bad and the good, the happy and the sad moments. I've met the best people I could ever meet in my life through here. And not for one moment I regret having spent the amount of time I did here. This blog has been so important to me, it molded me, it's the foundation of who I am today.

But still, I feel like this is not a place for me anymore.

This is not to say that I've moved on from everything I blogged about here. That's not the point at all.

It's hard for me to even begin to explain why I don't feel like this "my space" anymore.

I just feel like, the amount of things I'm exposed to in here, the feeling that I always had to catch up, to know everything... it kinda started to drain me, it piled up, it added up to the reasons that made me have a severe case of burnout and anxiety and fomo.

I know I could just unfollow people, make it cleaner and lighter, but, idk, it's not only the people. This blog, this dashboard feels heavy for me, it feels like there's a kind of baggage that not even unfollowing people will solve the problem, idk how to explain it. This feels much like a "this doesn't sparkle joy" anymore kinda situation. That's the best way I can put it.

So I've decided to make a new blog just to find my footing in the blogging experience again, creating a new space for me, curating things that at the moment I can keep up with, and honestly, I feel so much lighter there.

I've been there for awhile now and I've finally made the decision to make there my new space.

I felt like a change of url here was in need as well. I had this url saved at the same time I changed to starsweredible, but looking at it now, I feel like it reflects more how I feel about this blog than ever, so that's why I'm changing it.

Again, this blog has never been a bad experience for me, it's just that with all that has been going on in my life in the past months, I felt this darkness looming over me, over the things I care about. So, yeah.

I will always carry this blog in my heart. I won't delete it because i have so many things important to me here that I'll always come back to. I just feel like the time for me to keep feeding this is over. It will become an archive of memories, an archive of myself.

So, it's time for me to say goodbye, I guess. Maybe I'll pop in eventually for some things? My likes page with over 60k posts has always bothered me so maybe I'll come back to clean it, idk. I'll always be attached to this blog, so who knows, maybe one day I'll feel like coming back again. Until, then... I thank this space for helping me become who I am.

[maleksrami]

Liam Payne accepting the British Artist Video BRIT award for 'History’ by One Direction (x)

[zaynjmsource]

zayn: Love You Bro ❤️

[dailytomlinson]

Louis' tribute to Liam via instagram - 17.10

[dailytomlinson]

The boys' statement over Liam's passing via 1D's instagram - 17.10

[alloutshirt]

seeing so many people who haven’t been here for a while . we’re all family and will always be . what we got to experience is rare and precious . hope time will allow us to look back at it with joy and peace again . hugging all of you tight

[maleksrami]

i am the person i am today because of the experiences i had stanning 1D in my twenties. those formative years were shaped by the the memories and connections i made, people i met on and offline, the learning and self discovery i endured while loving them, their music, their bond—so much of it was through those boys.

liam was integral to that entire journey and always will be. that chapter in a lot of our lives may or may not have closed, but it is something that will continue to be carried with us as we keep growing older together because there was just nothing else like them. everything about them was so special. despite everything.

i cherish so much about that time in my life, about his contributions to it, his legacy as an artist. it feels like such a massive waste. liam was immensely talented and i only wish he had gotten the help he needed in order for people to keep seeing that. he deserved to get better as much as the people he hurt deserved to speak up.

let this be a lesson to hold onto one another, check on people you love, get help if you know you need it. hold yourself accountable when you mess up. you can start over. you can become a better you. feel everything you need to feel, process this however you need—it’s all valid and warranted. this is very shocking and complicated. it is confusing and heartbreaking.

take care of yourselves.

[fuchsea]

i think ultimately for me what it boils down to is that he was a part of 1d, a band that is such an integral part of life that i found my best friend through it and even now i'm making friends through the band and it's such a pivotal moment for me and liam in whatever means was part of it. sure he drifted on a different path and made some choices and changed as a person, in part because of the choices he made and in part because of the atmosphere of the band as a whole and how he desperately needed the help. i'm in no way excusing his recent behaviour, he should be held accountable for that. however, i am grieving because he was a part of me growing up and i never thought i would be reading the news about his death at such an early stage and how i'm shocked to the core thinking about the impermanence of life. i'm grieving for the boys and how they must be feeling and for his family who are going to find out about his passing through social media. i desperately wish he had received the help he needed and actively made choices to better his life, but the truth is what it is. i'm grieving for my teenage self because in more ways than one 1d was and is her entire life

[worldscissoringchampion]

[holyshit]

the absolute cruelty of death and it leaving this complete lack of ability to find and give closure. he deserved at least the chance to recover, heal, and make amends.

[fadeintolight]

I wish for nothing more at this point than for Liam's soul to find peace and for his family and the boys to have absolute privacy to grieve. To anyone harassing them, fans begging for statements, or the media getting ready to exploit their pain — I hope you rot in hell.

[perfectdagger]

Teach me how to love

Louis can’t believe he’s third wheeling, again, so he scans the bar trying to find something better to do.

And as he does, he recognizes a face.

That face looks angry, almost fuming and Louis takes a gulp from his beer and looks to the other side, pretending he didn’t even see the bloke, pretending he has no clue who that person coming over his way is.

“You’ve told everyone and their mother that I’m a bad fucker?!”

That’s how Harry greets him. 

Smooth. 

Not really.

The one in which Harry is bad at sex and Louis spreads it all over town and to make up for it, decides to help him with no agenda of getting anything from it, but in the end, he ends up getting more than he bargained for.

Author: @perfectdagger (sincerelyste)

Pairing: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Rating: Explicit

Status: Complete (8/8)

Word count: 70k

thanks to @delicatepointofview​ for helping me with the moodboard! 

[perfectdagger]

It’s been a year since I posted this fic and, wow, I would’ve never imagined how many people would read and love this one! It has become my biggest hit on ao3, even though for some people the numbers are not as big, but for little old me, they impress me a lot!!!!

I just wanna thank everybody who took the time to read, to comment, to bookmark, to reblog, to recommend, to share and spread the word about it and who loved it as much as I did while I wrote it.

Every single comment on this has made my day, every single person who commented how embarrassing and awkward this is, how they couldn’t stop laughing with the CBAT song, how they’ve read this fic more than once, or simply left a cute remark…. I love all of you!

This is not a Valentine’s Day fic but I encourage you to read it if you’re looking for something cheesy and funny (I might be biased but I don’t care hahaha) Again, thank you 💖

[wehelddarkness]

For the folks who don’t want a Valentine today! 😘

[wehelddarkness]

Hello January 27th, we meet again.

[yesterdaysprint]

[wehelddarkness]

HAPPY DECEMBER 1ST FOR THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!

[enchantedlandcoffee]

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