Spiritual Weirdness

Mystic. Poet. Hellenic Pagan. Undoubtedly the god Hermes’ special snowflake I’m also albino, hence the snowflake.

[weirdspiritpod]

Establishing Honesty with a God Can Really Knock You on Your Ass

I asked him why the gods expressed

their flowering through rape myths

He looked at me with one dark

eye and said, “I don’t know

how you want me

to answer this question.”

[weirdspiritpod]

The Sure Price

I am more sure than

Some mystics I think

But I have paid

With all my pockets.

[weirdspiritpod]

Union, Liberation, and Desire

In my experience, the state of union and liberation was endless hunger and endless satisfaction existing simultaneously, and the hunger was a pleasure as it was the endless hunger that allowed me to be endlessly satisfied.

So liberation and union wasn’t freedom from desire altogether. It was freedom from desire that fears lack. I was all desire and all fulfillment at the same time and could not have been all fulfillment if I weren’t also all desire.

Desire in a human context can be a prison because it fears lack. It knows there will come a time when it cannot be fulfilled, so it operates in fear that this will be the last fulfillment and this and this, so it reaches and grasps and hoards in desperation, which is bondage. Fear is always bondage. Fearful attachment to objects of desire is always bondage.

But I don’t think the answer there is to attempt to get beyond desire, as liberation and union is to be all aflame with desire. The answer is instead to get beyond fear of lack. If you know your desire will always be fulfilled, then there is no fear in it, and no reason to grasp and hold and attach. And perhaps the way to get to desire that does not fear lack is to train your desires to those that can always be fulfilled.

Truly, the cosmos is abundant enough that no matter what your desires are, they can always be fulfilled, but to avoid the fear of lack, you should train your desires on those things you believe with 100% surety can always be fulfilled. What those are may be different for each person and it would be arrogant of me to prescribe appropriate desires for everyone.

What I can suggest is that you start by asking yourself: What do I want that I can always get? What do I already see that is unlimited in my life? Love cones to mind. The love that you give. The love the gods give you, if you believe that is unlimited. Gratitude also, which is a form of love. Where there is even a kernel of gratitude there is always more and where there is more there is always even more than that.

Start there. Focus your desire on those things that you know, even in your limited state, are unlimited, and you will know this one aspect of union that is both desire and fulfillment existing simultaneously and eternally.

[weirdspiritpod]

The Sure Price

I am more sure than

Some mystics I think

But I have paid

With all my pockets.

[homunculus-argument]

I wish rich people went back to keeping artists as pets. Like when you’re wealthy enough you pick a cool weirdo to do regular commissions for you, and if you really want to flex on your peers, you’ve got several.

 And you visit them every once in a while like “hello, I’ve paid for your rent and your tools, have you worked on that commission giant oil painting of me getting sucked off by my political opponent, who is unfortunately still the mayor of this town, like I requested?”

 And your favourite feral art person looks up - mouth full of gravel and completely surrounded by art-related trash like “no, but I designed a helicopter.”

And you’re like “that’s fucking lit, the mayor doesn’t have a helicopter. Please carry on as you have.”

[weirdspiritpod]

Eating Disorder

I am hungry all the time

I think about eating constantly

No one is starving me now

But I still bolt out of bed

Dead panic

I am empty. I am dying. I am lost.

Maybe my god will let me suck

His honey thumb as I fall asleep

Maybe his sweet and the sucking

Will keep my eyes closed

Don’t bite. Don’t chew.

And maybe he will fill

My frightened mouth forever.

[weirdspiritpod]

After a Dream of God in War

Traveler in the land of constant

Earthquakes where clouds and

Pipes perpetually burst, walk

With me the brick-strewn

Streets. Hold the starving dogs

Off. Cockroaches and fallen

Down buildings, all the all, this

Rain must be nuclear too. My god

My legs are giving way and my

White hair is coming out in wet

Tumbles. Take me in a cab

Mysteriously still running to

A dry place

A dry bed.

Count my quivering eyelashes

As I dream of you.

[weirdspiritpod]

Sacred Seedy

Beloved Our God corrupt

Us just a little--seed

Our day with seedy night

Mean girl it with us

Pick the petty fights

Crook the petty pickings

Together we are

A million finger discount.

[weirdspiritpod]

My New Podcast Celebrating Interfaith Holidays

https://open.spotify.com/show/1UuevaTIJlAV1H3TzRKdYF?si=fam_EYoAThy11DaezQ9nIA

I love love love religion and spirituality and learning all I can about everybody’s faith. To that end, I started a podcast where I am going to do a short (5 minutes or so) episode for each holiday on an interfaith calendar where I read a scripture or prayer from the religion celebrating that day and end with a piece of music inspired by the theme of the holiday. My first two episodes are up, as March 1st is both Hinduism’s Maha Shiravatri (Shiva’s Night) and Islam’s Lailat al Miraj. Tomorrow’s episode is devoted to Ash Wednesday. I’m excited about this project and all I will learn doing it. Here’s me finally using that golden voice of mine for a golden purpose!

[weirdspiritpod]

Om Namah Shivaya

In a downpour of roses

Red and white

Life and death

Bride and widow

My beaten body cried

“Crime!” at Lord Shiva’s

Feet uncommonly still

For the crying.

[weirdspiritpod]

How Do You Know a Mystic Is Real?

I was listening to a commentary on the Bhagavad Gita this morning and I had to turn it off when the author started talking about how it’s best to meditate on the writings and wisdom of “real” mystics from “major” religions. As a mystic myself and practitioner of what is presently a very minor religion, I take umbrage with that. How does the size or predominance of my religion make my mystical understanding unworthy of reflection?

And furthermore: How does one know if a mystic is “real” or not? What is the acid test for knowing, for sure, a person has been in direct contact with the unknowable? Is a mystic only a really really for real mystic if she is from a major religion and she agrees with you?

Side note: If you ever find a mystic who agrees with you about everything, chances are her hand is out for something.

But that’s beside the point.

Because the unknowable is unknowable, and who may or may not know the unknowable is also unknowable, whether or not a mystic is really a mystic is anyone’s guess. The best you can do if you wish to seek wisdom from a mystic, is find a mystic whose experience resonates with you and whose wisdom challenges you.

And they don’t at all have to be from a major religion. A mystic from a major religion is not necessarily more mystical. It could be she just has better PR.

Remember, all major religions were minor once, and all religions, major or minor, are very very minor in comparison with the Truth of The All.

[weirdspiritpod]

The Sanctity of Self-Will

I have never been able to find harmony with religious traditions that prescribe an annihilation of self-will as the ultimate goal of a human life--as the ultimate fulfillment. Why would The All have created us as individuals only to have us seek as our highest value an abdication of that individuality? Rather, I think it goes something like this:

The All creates us each as individual souls and says, “I have made this beautiful creation that it may also create, be joyful in the process, and spread that joy to all the rest of my creation. And that they should individually will to know, express, and spread joy, IS my will.”

It is so unfortunate to me that most religious traditions teach annihilation of self-will when it seems the highest, most joyful and fulfilling realization is not annihilation but alignment,

[weirdspiritpod]

My Eternal Creative Space

I am working with an art therapy book geared toward body acceptance and the first art prompt was to depict our ideal creative space. I think the idea was to draw what houseplants and implements and draperies we would like in our art room, but this is what I came out with instead. It may not be a still life style depiction of what my ideal creativity space would look like--I would never be able to realistically draw a grand piano, an ancient viola, stacks and stacks of sheet music, an art table big enough to lie down on, cement floor to make messes easier to be messy, a photo studio, a recording studio, a big sink, every brush and paint and crayon and color and implement known to man, redwood tall shelves of books, red velvet chairs, open atlases mapping out all the adventures I’ve had and am yet to have, and above it all, the ceiling painted with the zodiac so I have a mapped out sky and eternally turning fate overhead always--I may not be able to realistically draw any of that, but what I did come up with accurately represents what would be going on in that space in the ether, among all that glorious stuff while the art was happening. There would be the spirit of Mercury, planet and god, and a Valentine from him charged electric positive and negative. There would be wild hair--my hair--probably red and black paint in my wild white hair. There would be me looking through my glasses, their dark frame the slightly warped symbol for infinity. My poodle, blue in this drawing for tranquility, would be there nosing my hands across the page in smarter directions than I would have ever thought of on my own. The numbers 12 and 21 would likely pop up everywhere, mysteriously as they do in every corner of my life already. The technological universe is coded on 0 and 1. My little universe is 1 and 2. There is eternity everywhere! The ouroboros, the dense spiral in Mercury’s head, the glasses... And yellow sunny swirls all over and underneath because this is Apollon and the Muses’ space as much as, if not more than mine. And finally, a treble clef because, in this space, everything sings.

[weirdspiritpod]

The Gods Are Into Everything These Days

I had a very difficult day today working on issues of PTSD. When I went to meditate to resettle into my body, I got this into my head and I can’t get it out. Let me first say how much I adore my deities that always, even in the darkest moments of my soul, they show me their humor.

First, I was thinking of Artemis and Apollon and I saw this and, well, yes! Replace those swords with arrows and there you have it!

Then, digging a little deeper, Teela gotta be Athena, right?

All this attention on other gods, so naturally Hermes popped his head up and said, “Who am I?” Why, Orko of course!

I mean, could it be any more obvious?

Fellow mystics will know, once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it all.

Love your gods, everybody. They sure love you.

[weirdspiritpod]

I just realized a great phrase to describe the character of the Seven of Swords is, “By hook or by crook.”

[weirdspiritpod]

I asked my god if all gods are the same gods…

And he said, “No, but we are all the same… um… um… ejaculation,” and he made a flourish with his left wrist.

[weirdspiritpod]

Donating Blood to a Heart Patient—Need Positivity

am giving blood to a friend of mine who is having heart surgery. They told him he needed to procure his own blood. How crazy is that? They just called me today to tell me the absolute last day I can give is tomorrow and my options for locations are far, farther, and ridiculous. Seriously. The closest they had is 45 minutes away and I can’t drive because I’m legally blind so, again, crazy. So I made the appointment and the man whose heart is being operated on is going to drive me, but they also scheduled all his pre-op appointments for that morning. He thinks we can still make it, but it will be tight. Please everyone send your good and positive everything that we are able to make it and that all my iron and everything is good so he gets the blood he so dearly needs.