The Brain

Welcome to my brain. I just post random stuff that just pops into my never quieting muscle.

[myworld-1996]

[teauth]

Ultra Comfy and adorable Dino Plush Pillow! Perfect for snuggling and resting your head! A lovely and adorable 🎁 for your Friends and Family!

GET YOURS HERE (✪ω✪)

More lovely pillows HERE  (･ω<)☆

[welcome-to-my-thoughts]

Are we gonna completely ignore that the first pillow looks like a penis?

[welcome-to-my-thoughts]

wat?

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[seashellronan]

grown ass men are out here not eating fruit or vegetables or washing their face and having a list of things women must do to be attractive to them and thus gain their respect like grow the fuck up and eat a carrot literally no woman needs you

[shen-ancalhar]

“No woman needs you” said the future cat lady lol

Newsflash. No man needs a bitch telling him to eat rabbit food and nagging him constantly.

I cannot wait to see feminism burn itself out.

[masonicbeheadingritual]

u gonna die of scurvy in the name of antifeminism

[tony-hawks-underground]

The scurvy got him

[seperis]

I don’t get why ‘cat lady’ is an insult to women. 

My dude, you got this backward; welcome to the modern era, we have careers, money, we buy our own houses and cars, and we have easy access to a selection of vibrators our ancestresses could only dream of.  Companionship is great and everything, but as many of us discovered, it comes in many forms.

If a woman has a cat but you don’t see a guy, that’s usually because she did the math and overall, men scored lower than a furry animal that shits in a box and a Hitachi.

[rehfan]

she did the math and overall, men scored lower than a furry animal that shits in a box

[spring-sent]

[caseyanthonysbabysittingservice]

Lol hoes mad

[createyourselfasart]

He went beyond mad, he rightly deactivated in shame like a little weenus as undesirable men do when a girl hurts their feelers

[wlwkara]

shout out to phones for pausing music when u unplug headphones bc im really not out here to blast waterloo by abba to a train full of people

[thesymski]

coward

[southernsideofme]

Hose sucked in by fire Tornado

[voidmutt]

i cant tell which is my favorite part. the frantic pulling of the hose as its getting sucked into the sky like a spaghetti noodle, the random “OH YEAH BABY!”, or the guy just chuckin a rock into the fire tornado at the end as if that’s gonna show it who’s boss

[norseminuteman]

This is like a D&D encounter that wasn’t supposed to be hard, just spray water at the fire, but nobody could roll above a 5. 

[goawfma]

PLS UNMUTE I’M MF DECEASED ASJAKJSASHSHASKJ

[lesteslayss]

IM DEAD 😭

[skyakafreckles]

*any person* “you’re cute”

Me

[sirewordplayj-deactivated202408]

Me asf

[rob-walks-deactivated20210614]

[followthebluebell]

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”

[dreamingofbabylon]

frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive

[blackqueerblog]

“Pit bulls are bred to fight” 

 Yeah fightin back my tears

[acegodzilla]

my friend and i are watching their sister’s cat and he likes to play fetch with the rings off of milk jugs

[acegodzilla]

he wait

[princesstigerbelle]

Such a good boi

[mysterymeat6649127739816]

[ofallthehappy-deactivated202004]

squad

[bopeep]

we dem b o y z

[ostracizedpoodle]

last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here” so i was like ummmmmm and she like “oh for like um” and she started to make this jerking off motion and i was just like yes

[i-write-sins-not-poems]

Mum:hey -

Me, returning from a walk in the woods after still being unsuccesfull in getting abducted by the fair folk: I don’t wanna talk right now

[ultrafacts]

Source

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[qt-3point1four-deactivated20200]

Here, put this candy in your annoying mouth and shut the fuck up.

[bonifidebaritone]

They’re like adult pacifiers

[animalrates]