OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS.

[werepeach]

I put love in the wine.

And the pasta.

[muttdays-deactivated20211130]

[muttdays-deactivated20211130]

Look at my daughter, cowards. She risked her tiny hands shoving light bulbs in my beard.

[werepeach]

My daughter ate twenty pounds of sugar, and then died on our living room floor, and our dog is using her as his new bed.

[werepeach]

[rosewater1997]

Are you there god It’s me your bastard child 

[werepeach]

muttdays replied to your post: muttdays replied to your post: ...

Bitch.

[werepeach]

*coughs up blood*

[werepeach]

muttdays replied to your post: I’ve never been horny in my life.

Horny bastard.

I don’t even know what a penis is.

[werepeach]

I’ve never been horny in my life.

[werepeach]

Okay, I can do this.

Goodnight.

[werepeach]

Let’s hope I don’t have any more Lord of the Rings dreams tonight.

My husband hates it when I start Tolkien in my sleep.

[groovybisexual]

[werepeach]

muttdays replied to your post: Maybe. Maybe I should sleep.

Fuck you. Listen to Tim McGraw instead.

I don’t even know who that is!

[fivevotesdown]

In my defence, the moon was full and I was left unsupervised.

[werepeach]

Maybe. Maybe I should sleep.

[aww-so-pretty]

[werepeach]

I was going to make a post lamenting about how much I hate the holidays (any holiday, pick a holiday), but instead I want everyone to know about my plan to strap five of these babies to my back and turn them all on at once, while my husband is distracted making slutty brownies.