Here lies my new sideblog to prove I exist outside of ao3, since I started sharing some stuff over there. I’ve been lurking around in fandoms for a millennia (basically) and decided to post a few fics that have lived exclusively in my brain/google drive, after abandoning ffn like a decade ago.
I write for a living in real life, so pls be patient with what will likely be a ✨sporadic at best✨ approach to content.
Read me on ao3 here 💛
My fic tag to search 💛
Fic rec tag to search 💛
Writing ‘o mine:
all your life you’ve never seen || summertime jily || fluff, character study (of sorts), canon compliant/Hogwarts era || oneshot || 4k words || rated G || read on ao3
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heart-melting, infuriating || dating jily || common room fluff with some light petting at the end, Hogwarts era || oneshot || 3.4k words || rated M || read on ao3
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cinnamon twists || pre-relationship jily || dorm fluff, mutual interest (pining if you will), Hogwarts era || oneshot || 3.3k words || rated G || read on ao3
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boom, snap || married jily || Order era, comfort sex, basically plotless || oneshot || 4.9k words || rated E || read on ao3
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Current must-reads (aka fic recs):
Burn Easy by @efkgirldetective || jily || modern au, uni, sort of enemies to lovers || oneshot || 17k words || part 1/2 || rated E || read on ao3
After nearly four years of successfully avoiding lit course rival James Potter at Hellebore State house parties, Lily Evans finds herself graced with his irritating presence at three in a row. Several confusing kindnesses and emails and over-dressed drunken encounters later, in a hallway at Badminton House, she must confront the possibility that she’s about to burn—and burn easy.
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Keep Pace by @gigglesandfreckles-hp || jily, platonic blackevans|| Hogwarts era || oneshot || 8.6k words || rated T & up || read on ao3
“So,” she says after a moment, her voice light, “is this a thing you do? Invite girls to kill themselves on a run after you find them crying. Or am I special?”
Sirius laughs. It’s a sharp sound, almost surprised, but it makes her stomach loosen.
“You’re special,” he says dryly, finally turning to look at her properly.
He watches her for a beat longer than she expects, like he’s searching for something in her face—some answer she doesn’t know how to give. Whatever it is, he seems to find it.
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it’s brighter now by @gigglesandfreckles-hp || jily || modern au, fumbled meet-cute || multi-chapter || complete || 45.3k words || rated T & up || read on ao3
“Oh, come on," James says, grinning. "I know you know who I am.”
Something strange flashes across her face. “Is that so?”
He drops into the open seat across from her and gestures toward his face, smiling widely. “This doesn’t ring any bells?”
“Your…face,” she clarifies slowly.
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Two Blind Dates by @moonawrites || jily || modern au || oneshot || 10.5k words || rated T & up || read on ao3
Lily has had her fair share of good dates, bad dates, dead boring and dead-end dates. But she has never, in all her life, been on a date and had him say, “This might sound insane, but I think you’re my best mate’s soulmate.”
(Or: Lily's friend sets her up on a date. Her date has a different idea.)
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In Case of Emergency by @bcdaily & @ghostofbambifanfiction || jily || modern au || multi-chapter || complete || 22.5k words || rated M || read on ao3
NHS waiting times are a killer these days.
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n00b by @ghostofbambifanfiction || jily || modern au, gamers, love square (?) || multi-chapter || in progress || 111.5k words || rated E || read on ao3
James Potter, one of the best players of his favourite online game, Wizarding World Wars, is on top of the world in his role as leader of his gaming group, that is, until the arrival of a new, mysterious player who is far too adept at trash talk, and throws his entire life completely off balance.
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Love for the Summer by @missgryffin || jily || Hogwarts era, summer get-together || multi-chapter || complete || 55.8k words || rated E || read on ao3
It's the summer after sixth year, Lily Evans is realizing she fancies James Potter, and James has Sirius Black's motorbike to thank for getting Lily out of the friend zone.
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The Vow by @missgryffin || jily || Hogwarts era, first time, fuck or die but funny || oneshot || 9.6k words || rated E || read on ao3
When he was thirteen-going-on-fourteen, James Potter did something truly, unbelievably stupid. Now that he’s seventeen-going-on-eighteen, he has to deal with the consequences.
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These Hands Had to Let it Go Free by @wearingaberetinparis || jily || modern au, reconciling exes || multi-chapter || complete || 27.3k words || rated M || read on ao3
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mary Macdonald and Reginald Cattermole.
As Maid of Honour, Lily Evans should be thrilled to celebrate her best friend’s wedding to the love of her life on a sun-drenched Greek island. She’s prepared for the lavish affair hosted by Mary’s boss, Euphemia Potter. What she isn’t quite as prepared for is the presence of Euphemia’s son – James Potter – the boy she once loved and never quite forgot.
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I Wake With Your Memory Over Me (That's a Real Fuckin' Legacy) by @wearingaberetinparis || jily || modern au, neighbours fwb || multi-chapter || complete || 43k words || rated E || read on ao3
“Just saying, Evans,” he then said, lowering his voice slightly, “if you ever want to truly have a good time…”
She snorted now, hoping that this would compensate for the heat that rushed to her cheeks. “Oh, please,” she replied, “I’m not yet that desperate.”
(Oh, God, she was.)
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good crimes by @ flagpoles || jily || modern au, lockdown & long-distance, platonic roommate blackevans || oneshot || 4.7k words || rated T & up || read on ao3
“You look terrible” Sirius said to Lily, who did.
“The fringe does not react well to heat.” She opened the fridge and stuck her head inside it.
Sirius, in a show of great maturity, did not say ‘I told you so’. Lily, who knew he was thinking it, said “Shut up” anyway, so what was the point.
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meet you there by @ flagpoles || jily || modern au, bar staff, texting fic || oneshot || 7.8k words || rated M || read on ao3
Lily Evans to James Potter: why is this bar called the horse and carriage btw
James Potter: romantic gesture from binns for his ex wife
James Potter: it was their nicknames for each other. wish i was joking
Lily Evans: fuck me i would also divorce a guy who nicknamed me carriage
James Potter: believe it or not she was horse
Lily Evans: well christ
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Good Old-Fashioned Love Letters by @theesteemedladydebourgh || jily || modern au, enemies to lovers, whoopsie love triangle || multi-chapter || complete || 96.8k words || rated E || read on ao3
Lily Evans moved to a hot, cramped, architecturally suspect building in Diagon Alley to live with Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon for the summer for two reasons: she needed to complete her uni lab internship, and the alternative was seeing her sister for three months. She did not move here to:
a. illegally smuggle horrid floral couches at the behest of her idiot of a flatmate
b. drunkenly snog a mysterious man at a bar whose name she doesn’t know
c. begin a (surprisingly interesting) email relationship with this man
d. go insane when her idiot of a flatmate’s brother decides his summer off football would be perfectly spent living in their flat
(f. Addendum: she is certainly not going to fall in love with him.)
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For the Price of a Cup of Coffee by @ cgner || jily || Order era, temporary amnesia || oneshot || 5.1k words || rated T & up || read on ao3
Something is wrong with Lily's brain. She's not sure what, but nothing good comes out of waking up in a hospital bed with no memory of how you got there. To make matters worse, the messy-haired Healer who shows up doesn't seem to know anything about Healing - he's pretty attractive, though, so that's something.
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Glass of Water by @ lyin || jily || Hogwarts era, post-whomping willow incident, platonic blackevans || multi-chapter || complete || 49k words || rated G || read on ao3
It's 1976 and Hogwarts' N.E.W.T. Divination class can only see the homework in their future. Lily Evans and Sirius Black certainly can't foresee they're falling into friendship. What happens in Divination, stays in Divination.
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Will of the Wilde by @eurythmixwrites || jily || fantasy au, creepy forest creature vibes, magical realism, 1600s witchcraft || multi-chapter || complete || 39.4k words || rated E || read on ao3
Lily Evans has been raised to fear the forest. The bedtime fables of her youth were filled with warnings whispered to the light of a lone flickering candle. Gathered in her mother’s lap, fingers lacing through her hair, her parents would warn her. Never go in. And, above all, never go in alone.
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help (!) i'm still at the restaurant (and my mum won't leave me alone about it) by @ ohevans || jily || modern au, blind date || oneshot || 10.9k words || rated M || read on ao3
James’ staff never shows him any respect—and he means that in the most loving way—and sometimes it drives him up the wall. Yes, he knows that hiring friends sometimes leads to this, but who wants to work in a place with insufferable people he doesn’t like? His friends are cool, and they work hard, and he likes them a lot. Still, he wishes that they would stop laughing at him in this, his moment of great distress.
“I’m having a fake date here on Saturday,” he announces, “and none of you are to give me any preferential treatment at all!”
“We wouldn’t even if you hadn’t asked,” Marlene says, “but now I’m inclined to give you preferential treatment just to see you sweat.”
✨ marauders // midwest emo band au ✨
part one / part two / part three
Lily wanders over to his unmade bed, peering at the precarious stack of cd’s on the milk crate masquerading as a bedside table.
“You live in your garage,” she says, not a question.
James leans faux-casually against the back of the sofa, willing it not to collapse in this critical moment and embarrass him.
It's endearing, how she inspects his belongings with great focus and some prejudice, like she's deducing a mystery. “It’s my parents’ garage, actually.”
“Yeah, I’m not getting naked in your parents’ garage,” she muses, fingers finding something in the collection of jewel cases she likes because she pulls it out and breezes over to his stereo.
It brings her within arms reach, hair fluttering like a curtain. She smells faintly of Camels and his own cologne, lingering from the jacket she’d discarded as soon as they’d gotten in. It shouldn't be a tantalizing mix but he breathes it, her, in deeply.
Something about her being here feels seamless. She’s a flash of colour in the grungy white and dated browns of all the hand-me-down furniture — sharp as her tongue, a hum of new energy — but she fits in, somehow.
A smile tugs at his mouth as a blasting guitar riff pours from the speakers. “If it helps, they’re not around. They’re in Norwich.”
He decides not to mention ‘in Norwich’ means in the Potter family graveyard. Feels a bit too heavy, that.
Lily spins around. “They’re not here?”
“Nah.”
Her green, green eyes squint. “And you still sleep out in the garage? Instead of in the house?”
“Well, yeah. All my stuff is out here.”
She frowns, a pucker forming between her brows, swallowing the freckle above the left one. James waits patiently, ankles crossed and perfectly still, as she gives him a very critical one-over. He fights the urge to fidget. Jesse Lacey sings himself hoarse between them.
Eventually, her freckle reappears. “I’m going to have to fuck you in the garage, aren’t I,” Lily sighs, also not a question. Like it's inevitable she'll fuck him, always has been, and the garage is simply an unfortunate surprise in the matter.
Grin stretching, James just shrugs like it’s as surprising to him as it is her.
Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!
|| jily || fluff, summertime dating, Lily Evans character study (sort of) || read on ao3
James visits Lily the summer before seventh year, and accidentally, maybe, sort of learns she’s Cokeworth’s resident enigma. Just a little scene in the middle of their early months of dating, between sixth and seventh year of school.
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It had made sense, for her to pop up to the estate where it loomed outside Godric's Hollow, being a partly-magical settlement. It meant they could muck around with innocuous spells without triggering any age or secrecy wards, in a way that Lily has never been able to in her own backyard.
But then last week, James had made an off-hand comment as they laid atop his rumpled bedsheets about calling on her for a change — “Curious to see your childhood bedroom,” he’d joked, and she’d swatted him — and now he had. Called on her, that is.
Just James had showed up on the Evans’ doorstep that afternoon, rocking on his heels with a wide, good-natured grin. No mates in tow, just him with his dark mess of hair and a t-shirt tight across his shoulders.
the idea that remus lupin has the best record collection in gryffindor tower has gone too far and i'll stand for the lily evans erasure no longer!!! it's lily who's got the music!!! it's the outspoken muggle-born who brings The Good Shit to hogwarts, not the unassuming secret werewolf who probably does not want to advertise that his mum is muggle at risk of drawing even more attention to himself. remus wants to assimilate, and it's lily who's comfortable standing out.
Fleamont heads off to bed early, pleading age and early mornings in the garden, leaving James and Lily alone in the kitchen with the remains of dinner.
James tries, briefly, to refuse her help, but it’s a losing battle.
She stands at the counter, drying as he washes, the two of them moving around each other with an ease that feels… new. They never had this when they were teenagers. Truthfully, it’s a bit strange, seeing him like this.
"I swear to god, if you play that Proclaimers tape one more time, I'm leaving your ass on the side of the road."
"Jesus mate, calm down. It's an anthem, even if we're only travelling 378 miles–"
"Get absolutely fucked."
I'm going to rehash things about Sirius, going further from this post!
I absolutely despise seeing fics (not naming any because I purposefully avoid a LOT of Marauders Fics for this reason) where Sirius has been made this overly sweet/emotionally intelligent bimbo/twink, where the authors also ignore The Prank or they make it out to be an 'accident' with no real consequences in Sirius' social life.
The Prank, I think, gives such an interesting insight into who Sirius was as a character, especially since it's one of the only canon aspects we get of him.
It shows us that Sirius can be cruel. It shows that he finds enjoyment in pranks that do have real life consequences for other people, and it shows that he will do whatever he wants to the people he really doesn't like, which in this instance, is Severus. We see this throughout Sirius' adult life, too, where he is constantly jabbing at Severus, calling him names - acting totally immature for a grown man, Azkaban consequences aside.
With this, we can deduce a few other things: He wasn't very emotionally intelligent, most likely, and that his upbringing likely affected him more than he cared to admit.
While I think he would be able to recognise and (probably unhealthily, lets be real here) deal with his own emotions, he absolutely either would not realise, or care about other people's emotional responses to his words or actions - Hell, he didn't about Snape, so why would he about other people, especially people he didn't know?
If it got results, he would do it. He was known to be a prankster, and was seen with James in the memory Harry see's to have been a bully. From this, we can easily see that Sirius (and James, at that point in time) liked garnering emotional reactions out of people. He enjoyed the negative reactions, he enjoyed making people feel small.
As for his own emotions, as a quick side note, he would probably be able to tell when he was feeling a certain way, and what the feeling was, but push it aside. His upbringing would have taught him how to be the charming man many people considered him, and would have likely made that charm about him be a total mask, more than anything - and, in my opinion, it is likely a mask he never really took off, either.
His upbringing, on that topic, is something I also see a lot of in fics as something I do not resonate with. I truly do not think that Orion and Walburga were physically abusive. Of course, there must have been one aspect of abuse that would have made Sirius want to leave the home for good, but the abuse doesn't always have to be physical, people.
I believe that their love for Sirius (and Regulus, for that matter) would have 100% been conditional. They are from the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, in the Societal Elite. They had a reputation to uphold, and that reputation would have, in my opinion, easily dictated how Walburga parented her children - as I do believe Walburga did majority of the parenting in that house, as I don't remember Sirius mentioning Orion at all.
I believe he had so many expectations on him as the heir. Expectations that, before he ended up at Hogwarts, felt easy to accomplish, easy to live up to. Once he got to Hogwarts, and was able to start thinking about the world in an area with multiple ideals and such around him, as well as being able to physically see different perspectives of life playing out? I think this is when his relationship with her turned sour.
Now, that doesn't mean I think Sirius hated her. Sure, he says he does (i think. don't quote me on that), but I really don't think that's true. I think he wanted to be able to prove himself to his mother over and over again, and could never win, because their views on the world stopped matching each others by the time Sirius was 12. I think that Walburga got harsher with her words, cutting deeper into him, and maybe she started insulting his friends - maybe James, as canonically, one was never seen without the other - and he lashed out, and started to rebel. (every teenager rebels. it doesn't have to be because of abuse).
However, this upbringing: Being taught the Pureblood ways, living in the Societal Elite for most of his formative years, would have stayed with him. I think he has an air to him that forever screamed rich, even after being disowned. He would have gotten what he wanted, no matter the cost. He would have been taught how to do this, too, hence the charm everyone mentioned in canon.
He would have been brought up like a Slytherin, because it was expected of him. I truly think he never even considered not being in Slytherin until he met James on the train. I truly think he was happy enough to follow in the footsteps of his family, of walking the line drawn out for him before he was able to walk, until he started school, and started being able to think for himself, without his mother influencing those thoughts.
Sirius wasn't some twinkified teenager who loved everything and everyone around him. He was cruel, he was cunning, like a Slytherin, he was charming, and he knew exactly what he was doing, at all times.
Lily and Sirius are the only characters who use the insult "toerag" in canon:
“You think you’re funny,” she said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”
“I know James Potter’s an arrogant toerag,” she said, cutting across Snape. “I don’t need you to tell me that. But Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them.”
“What’s she got against werewolves?” said Hermione angrily.
“Scared of them, I expect,” said Sirius, smiling at her indignation. “Apparently she loathes part-humans; she campaigned to have merpeople rounded up and tagged last year too. Imagine wasting your time and energy persecuting merpeople when there are little toerags like Kreacher on the loose —”
Headcanon that Sirius started using the phrase because of Lily (uh, ignoring the less than ideal comment in which he uses it…). People who spend a lot of time together often talk like each other and catch phrases from each other etc.
