EMAN & JESS | TORONTO, ON
Eman was born in Kuwait to Palestinian parents and raised Muslim.
“When I was younger I was drawn to the religion because, although we were Muslim, no one around me really practiced the religion beyond fasting at Ramadan. And, as it goes with me, when a large number of people seem to dislike something I feel like it must mean there’s something really awesome about it. I’ve always needed to figure things out for myself. I was clearly a pleasure to raise! When I started to learn about Islam though, I discovered a bunch of sexist rules I couldn’t get onboard with. I couldn’t wrap my head around how something so divine and righteous could be so unbalanced. And that’s how my short-lived religious phase came to an end.”
Eman’s mother became religious later in life after losing people close to her, and Eman describes her father as someone who isn’t religious but really loves being Muslim.
“I identify as Muslim, from the agnostic sect. Does that exist? I like some sins way too much to be pious.”
Jess was born in Montreal and was raised Jewish. Originating from Eastern Europe, a few generations of her dad’s side of the family have resided in Montreal. Jess’s mother is from Peru. Her maternal grandmother had migrated there from Poland and married Jess’s grandfather who was from Egypt. Most people assume she is Irish. Jess explains how her family is not religious. They celebrate the major Jewish holiday and go to synagogue on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. No one went to a Jewish school.
“We all ate bacon, just not at home. That’s ‘level one kosher’: If you order it very crispy and at a restaurant it’s not as bad.”
She explains how her being Jewish is more of an ethnic / cultural identification than a religious one. When she attends synagogue it is more about experiencing and connecting to the tradition than it is about prayer.
“I go to a conservative synagogue which is weird because most of the members there aren’t all that religious. But it’s a beautiful place with an incredible choir and when I go I feel connected to my past, to my grandparents and to my history. To be fair, I also feel that way when I eat smoke meat at Schwartz’s or have a bagel and lox at Beauty’s.”
When asked how they met, Eman and Jess respond:
“Our parents introduced us.” *Laughs*
They are both comedians…literally.
“We met doing comedy and became friends, sticking around after shows at the bar to discuss the situation in the Middle East. We’d quickly clear the place out and even comedians that didn’t smoke were going out for a cigarette…at minus 20.”
They had a platonic relationship for the first two years.
“Jess is so soft spoken that I never heard a word she said to me but she also likes to talk, so it was a weird combo where I’d be like “oh here we go, Jess is here. She’s going to talk my ear off and I won’t hear a thing”.”
For this reason Jess jokes:
“It was important for me to find a job that involved using a microphone.”
One day they had lunch together, and Eman’s interest was sparked by how funny, smart and sexy Jess was.
“I really didn’t think anything would possibly happen. I mean she’s a Taurus and I’m a Leo and that’s just scandalous. There were some hurdles to overcome. Astrological issues. Auditory issues.”
They both agree that their families are disappointed with their relationship but love them enough to at least pretend to be okay with it. Eman explains:
“Homosexuality is foreign to my parents. They don’t believe it’s a real thing. My parents understand that Jess and I are “close”, as they like to put it. They think the best solution is for us to find brothers to marry so we can stay “close”.”
In 2014 Jess and Eman moved to New York to explore the comedy scene and they hope to go back there permanently.
“New York was where I decided to propose to Eman. I realized that, as 70% of my Instagram photos were in the subway, people probably assumed we were becoming moles. Mole lovers. For the record though, I didn’t propose in the subway. Maybe I should have though… had her sift through someone’s guitar case for the ring while they played her a ditty.”
They are definitely not a couple that shies away from public displays of their love.
“We are VERY affectionate together, but we dread being that annoying over the top couple so we try to be as self-aware as possible. In all honesty though, being affectionate comes so naturally that most of the time we don’t realize we’re even doing it until we get an eye roll or two.”
Jess and Eman feel as though they are on the same level when it comes to their respective religiosity, so they have had few issues. For the time being they enjoy being a part of and learning about each other’s holidays. They do however admit that it may get a little more complicated when they have kids.
“When it comes to the Israeli-Palestinian situation we’ve had some heated debates. I think most of our arguments come from our different starting points: That not necessarily logical place where you assume your people are the only ones coming from a good place. It’s a defensive place to start from and it doesn’t lead to objective discussion but we’re rational people so accepting that Palestinians are being oppressed took some work - but we got there.”
They do find it difficult when their relationship causes discomfort to the people they care about.
“Our daily life together is truly wonderful but knowing our parents aren’t a 100% on board is frustrating because it’s as though our being in love is somehow wrong. There are so many reasons we shouldn’t be together but our love for one another is so genuine it was impossible to be apart.”
Jessica explains how they broke up a lot at the beginning of their relationship.
“Eman really tried not to be with me! but I think those challenges make your relationship stronger in the end. Because there is the feeling that if you can overcome differences and disapproval you can probably overcome the other stuff life throws at everyone.”
They believe it is important to focus on what the relationship is between two people, and ignore the external noise.
“If there is a real love and also deep compatibility there – common goals, interests, and values – the rest doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter in the sense that you’ll be able to figure it out. Dating someone that doesn’t do comedy … that would be harder.”
Eman and Jess were recently married.
“I freaked out before the wedding but the day of I was so calm. Jess got more emotional. It really looked like I was forcing her into it. It looked like a hostage situation. It was a beautiful day in the end. We did it at City Hall. We took so many super gay photos. It was a tribute to our love and also of course to Rob Ford.”
When asked if they had any final points to add:
“Both our religions are waiting for the Messiah, so I think if we do have kids one of them will for sure be the Messiah. It makes the most sense to me, prophets are never born into traditional circumstances so you are welcome everyone.”
“As long as we don’t call him or her, Yasser. I have to veto so many names you don’t even know.”
You can follow the INTERLOVE Project on Facebook, Twitter and apply to participate.
© 2015 Colin Boyd Shafer, All Rights Reserved.
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