Women should ABSOLUTELY be independent and you should ABSOLUTELY keep your banking separate.
If you are in that circumstance?
Grocery shopping and gas stations and big box stores are your BEST friend. I know we’re in a pandemic but put on an N-95 and go. Use your debit card every time and take out 20-40 dollars each time you shop for these sorts of things because that doesn’t read as a withdrawal. It counts as part of the shopping. Women have been doing this for GENERATIONS now. My mother did it when my father was financially abusing her and she taught me and now? I pas this on to you.
Take your 20-40 dollars a trip and put the cash somewhere he won’t look.
Where won’t he look? With a friend who he doesn’t want to know. In the yard he expects you to care for. In the laundry he won’t do. In the kids room where he doesn’t go because that is your job. In the dog food he expects you to refill.
In you can take that money and put it a fucking bank he doesn’t use. Under your name and your name ONLY. Because when you leave him - which on average will take 7 attempts because thats how many times it takes to leave an abuser - you will need all the money you can squirrel away. Depending on how often a woman runs absolutely necessary errands and how much money a family makes, she can squirrel away 1K+ in a year this way which may not seem like much but it’s enough for a softer landing than ZERO especially if she’s not working.
Take care of yourself ladies.
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