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izzy's playlists!
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Today's Document
RMH
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Origami Around
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosimo Galluzzi
One Nice Bug Per Day
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
h
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Claire Keane
Fai_Ryy
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@penice-yummers
hey patrick can you see my feet
Yeah spongebob look at mine I’m facing the toilet
Patrick we have penises and were peeing with them
Excuse me ladies, everything you’ve just said about being spongbeob and Patrick and having penises you pee pee with has been echoed and amplified down the hall, were we are holding a Sunday school class. We all have heard what you’ve said about peeing towards the toilet with your penises, and I am just letting you know.
starting a collection
this is my favourite post ever
hey watch out, theres a piece of malware going around. i would categorize it as bloatware, adware and spyware. its called "Microsoft Windows"
Us, arriving to Austria to a tiny family hotel owned by an elderly lady
Us: speak only limited German
Lady: barely speaks English
Us:
Lady:
Lady: Czech? Slovak?
Us: Czech
Lady, to herself: Czech, that's a Slavic language right
Lady: understand Yugoslavian?
Us:
Us: yeah that works
Shit like this can really only happen in Europe. Reminds me of the time I took my best shot at ordering at a restaurant in Spain in spanish. The closest language to spanish that I actually speak is latin.
Waiter: Germany?
Me: No, Czechia.
Waiter, in a heavily accented but intelligible Czech: Why didn’t you say so before! We get you guys here all the time!
Já v roce 2019 na Ukrajině: OK, takže když použiju tohle staročeský slovo, přidám polský sloveso, své chabé znalosti záhoráčtiny a řeknu to s ruskym přízvukem, tak to projde.
[Me in 2019 in Ukraine: ok so if i use this Old Czech word, add a Polish verb, my poor knowledge of the Záhorie dialect of Slovak and say it with a Russian accent, it might pass]
Reminds me of the time when we were in Poland and I tried to order a burger using a truly unholy mix of Slovak, Russian and Ostrava dialect (which in itself is like an unholy mix of Czech and Polish).
I did get the burger
[#my grandpa called this "Slavic Esperanto"]
I know Ukrainians who can do this on purpose and masterfully, and it was mind-blowing to hear a speech as immediately understandable to an audience of native speakers of three different native Slavic languages, not just two languages as is common
During one student exchange I (a Pole) got acquainted with two students from Czechia and Russia. At first we talked in English or German, but after a while we’ve noticed, that we could understand each other’s native languages just fine. And if some word was unknown in one language, another one had the right synonym.
*Each of us talking in their mother tongue*
Me: Bla bla bla.
Russian: I don’t know this “bla”.
Czech: Oh, we have “bla”! We also call it “that”!
Russian: Oh I know “that”! It’s a very old version of “this”.
Me: Oh, we have “this” too, but it means something slightly different.
German acquaintance: Was für nen Scheiß zieht ihr da ab? o_O
the reason there aren't slavic people in the bible is that they wouldn't have been surprised or awed to hear the disciples speak in tongues and be understood by people of many nations at once
Slavs walked away from the Tower of Babel mildly inconvenienced.
As a non-native speaker of Czech who is only conversationally proficient and has terrible grammar, let me tell you, no one was more surprised than I was to discover that I can understand Slovak just fine. And when the two moving guys finished hauling my furniture to my new apartment and we were chatting a bit before they left, I discovered that the reason I'd had a little trouble understanding one of their "accents" was because he was speaking Ukrainian the whole time.
"Slavs walked away from the Tower of Babel mildly inconvenienced." killed me
I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.
There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.
Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?
This is me when I realized I could get a proper bowl of curry from the fancy indian food place for basically the same price as a fuckin McDonald's hamburger meal these days
that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true
holy shit
I can’t even imagine what meaningless filler went into panels 2-3.
oh my god these are actually funny
this is 100% true and once you remove the horrible filler bullshit its comedy gold
Madohomu recap
girls wearing dog ears and tails and shit is not cringe. you know what IS cringe? the thing centrist liberals and conservatives do where they want to say fuck but they're little pathetic pissbabies who are scared of using the adult words mommy says so they write "fk" or "fck" instead
The censorship of curse words has gotten out of hand. I saw a post on here about jerking it to incest on Christmas that had “fuck” in it multiple times per sentence but every one of them was asterisk censored ?????????
Edit: I’m not actually trying to call this person specifically out so please no one bother them but I feel like no one would believe me without the screenshot
Like if its your favorite word just use it 😭
hazbin hotel dialogue
"gender is a social construct": fairly easy for leftists to understand
"race is a social construct": a bit harder to swallow for some but still reasonable
"mental illness is a social construct": this one gets you hate mail in your inbox
the effects and symptoms of mental illness do in fact have material consequences but "disorders" as clinical categories are not real in any metaphysical sense; they are terms created for the purpose of describing lived experiences. you can't see or hold onto a person's depression any more than you can hold their gender in your hands. western psychology may have legal definitions of and ramifications for being diagnosed with illnesses but they do not physically exist outside of that context. any opposition to behaviors like self-diagnosis in therefore invalid when viewed in this structural context
I love nonfiction that I simply cannot relate to at all. "it's easy to get addicted to buying fast fashion! I used to spend thousands of dollars on it a year!" okay. you're a space alien.
"survey finds that the average person in the UK only wears a piece of clothing 7 times" what are you talking about. what are you fucking talking about. who are these people and in what world are they average.
I knew poinsettias "faked" having big flowers by just turning some leaves red but I didn't know the real tiny flowers in the middle looked like such idiots
muppets
actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used
observe:
"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective
"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue
"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need
parentheses my beloved (they are for bonus thoughts) (and questions) ( and sidetracks) (like a 2nd conversation on top of the first)
