Whack Subtitles

The best (and worst) of subtitles, captions, and onomatopoeias, from Netflix and beyond. (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-73708035-1', 'auto'); ga('send', 'pageview');

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Her riff was so beautiful, in fact, that Gene’s eyes began to dissolve.

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Dennis knows only two other kinds of chuckling; ‘enraged chuckling’ and ‘sensuous chuckling’.

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For those of you who aren’t in the know, Scruffy’s character is based on Billy Bob Thornton's character ‘Karl Childers’ from the move Sling Blade. What’s fascinating here is that this captioner knows Billy Bob Thornton’s filmography so well, but failed to realize that he’d have to preface every one of the (admittedly few) bits of dry, down-to-earth dialogue from the Planet Express janitor with a parenthetical aside about Sling blade.

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“Tweeeeeeeeeeet!” seems a strange onomatopoeia for the application of lipstick. Perhaps “squeeeeeeeeeak” as the soft paste caresses mallory’s dignified, aged lips?

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George senior doesn’t even merit italics in his onomatopoeia, apparently. But isn’t there is a subtle, glorious minimalism to the unitalicized, uncapitalized ‘thunk!’?

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I think there should be an award for best subtitler in the world.  And the person at WGBH Media Access should win it for doing Archer’s basically perfectly. Observe here how he or she went the extra mile to maintain Cheryl or Carol’s ambiguous name.

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Pam, broken and bloodied, remains defiant.  But even the subtitler seeks to steal away her dignity.  Poor Pam.

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The kicker for this one is that the subtitler nailed the scampering buffalo, but got to the bunnies and pies and decided, screw it, they probably sound the same.

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Two consecutive M’s do not do justice to passionate elevator makeout sessions.  Maybe with a third M Better Off Ted wouldn’t have been cancelled.

Phil in the back there is not on board.

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One wonders how much one should read into the fact that Lana and Cyril got separate captions for their respective sex noises.

Either way, Pam is on board.

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The author of this caption apparently did not appreciate Chris’ impression very much.

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It’s upset because it just found out that instead of a big tax return it is being audited and it doesn’t have any of its receipts from the last fiscal quarter. Thanks for submitting this great one from Evangelion, Joe.

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Just FYI that’s the ladder burbling. Which is obviously fake, because we all know ladders only chortle and titter.

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Scott Aukerman, however, imitates helicopters poorly.

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It took a lot to break Abed.

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This caption has no place in a show with a speaking dog.

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Go on, you can pee faster than that.