local leech @whale-goddess - Tumblr Blog

Will only need $24.99.

Ray Ban glasses only needs $24.99. Don't miss the opportunity.

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Will only need $24.99.

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mystarsandgalaxies

you won’t EVEN believe

kuurakuu-deactivated20220426

Coming home

Sort of a continuation to this one because it needed a happy ending

poodled

Rainfall 🌧️

lesbianlovely

logarto

how do i get a sfw sasuke big enough to oblitherate my entire dashboard

shock

betasunkern

why did they have to specify sfw

logarto

ITS A REFERENCE

space-lord-joe-kewl

Mobile Users experience a long boi

queersona

do you love the color of the sasuke

captain-flint

i didnt believe in the devil until i adopted an 8 week old puppy with razor sharp teeth, non existent attention span and inexhaustible need to parkour off of every surface every half an hour, screaming her fur off at the same time

that being said today i took her to the vet to sign her up and she happened to be the 666th puppy to sign up in that office

y’all demons are real and i adopted one

captain-flint

my puppy, at 10pm: if you even fucking look at me i will stomp you to death with my paws. i dare you to do it. i want you to do it. i want you to do it so I can stomp you with my paws, I’m so fucking crazy

my puppy, at 10:01: [screams and dropkicks me in the face]

my puppy, at 10:02:

catgirlanarchist

babey

bloomflowersbloom

I just keep eating pasta huh

itwashotwestayedinthewater

wow. cant believe they said this

portableairport

the mcklemores are CANCELLED

teirrah15

“I just wanted to hold you”.

I haven’t watched season 7 yet but I want more hugs… lmao

lactoseho

Why does no one think of this yet? Srsly.

maculategiraffe

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

cwicseolfor

The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.

essoreese

Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.

strangelyregular

YES.

Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?

Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.