I Do Roller Derby

41 years old, but what does that even mean? I sure dont act like I'm in my 40s. Non-Binary He/They I spend most of my free time officiating Roller Derby

[porcelain-dollbones]

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

[porcelain-dollbones]

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

[killerqueenmp3]

[laura-the-swarming]

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

[what-even-is-thiss]

The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.

[mysharona1987]

[weepingchoir]

Every time some fash posts about Real Art vs Duchamp's Fountain it's like lol that urinal has been kicking your ass for a hundred years

[weepingchoir]

Marcel Duchamp kicked the bucket 55 slutty, slutty years ago and you can't get him out of your head. You're half as old as he is dead and you are worshiping at his altar, you are drinking his piss. He won.

[videolottery]

Someone should make a disco elysium spiritual successor that takes place in a maze and follows a protagonist who has to eat all the dots in the maze whilst avoiding several ghosts

[dragongirlbunny]

you can actually homebrew this in d&d 5e

[griffonatrix]

SCROLL UP!!! THIS IS A PAINTING

[i-am-a-fish]

I think if we all start posting nipples at once they won't be able to stop all of us. and by they I don't just mean tumblr staff I'm referring to the entire world. I think the nipple is a very destigmatizable body part and I expect/demand it to be a normal thing within my lifetime. the fear of nipples is so weird and archaic, it's a body part dude

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[weepingchoir]

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

[contemptible-scoundrel]

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

[weepingchoir]

MY FATHER BLED FOR THIS GUILD WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN THE TUTORIAL. YOU SMURF ON HIS VERY BONES.

[medievaljournalist]

making a pilgrimage to tumblr & getting conned by a blogger claiming to sell scraps of the shroud of pjackk

[pmamtraveller]

By Jocelin Carmes

[lightweightkate]

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

[uncharacter-istically]

[Video caption:

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

End caption.]

[loveitorreblogit]

Bitch neither I work for Wayne Industries, they got better offers than work these clowns:

[gandalfsbignaturals]

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

[teaspoon-of-stars]

Theres the lil thang

[doctor-d00m]

[mephastopheles]

Erotic Postcards. Circa 1920

[itsjunetime]

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

[youaremyeverlovin]

haters will see you rotating the perfect sphere, yet not visually perceive the rotation due to said sphere’s lack of imperfections, and say you cant rotate a sphere