why? @what-where-when - Tumblr Blog

Hearing my mum talk about aspects of her relationship with my dad explains a lot of why I put up with such a bad relationship with my ex. like it runs in my bloodline. No wonder I put up with that shit.

#sucks tho cos that shit was AWFUL #but it was what was modelled to me by my parents so it was all i knew #generational trauma #or something #idk what else to tag this cause i’m sitting in a car waiting to go in and see the odyssey lol

woodwool

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

#can they make a supplement #and NOT overprice it to hell

The writing side of tumblr has reached me and now compels me to actually write my stories. I will resist but I don’t know how much longer my “you need to do your work to be a functional member of society” argument can keep me from locking myself away and writing the story that currently has me in its grasp.

#writing #the story in my head right now has plagued me for years #it has been four years since it first came to me #and now it has developed into a fully (or close to) fleshed out storyline #i haven’t gone a day without thinking about it since September Last Year. it’s been over six months #and i don’t know how much longer i can resist

Realising I don’t make promises because they were always broken for me as a child really explains some shit.

Seeing things where it’s like “every friend group has one of these!” and it’s listing different mental illnesses as like, someone in your friend group has this one and someone else has that one is so funny (and sad) to me bc. I can look at one (1) of my friends, this one specific friend, and oh boy we certainly do have these. They have these. All of them.

#that poor fucker suffers so much #i look at them and thank the stars for my pain #at least it’s not that shit 😭

vampurrring

I’ve got that neglected dog stare

kingoftalkingbeasts

restlessness leads to realization leads to restlessness leads to

#love the dual ‘don’t rock the boat’ and ‘get out’#really resonate with that one lol #that desperate crushing need to escape and that desperate suffocating need to stay #plural #system comic #not mine

Might start posting questions I’d usually google because it means I can

a) get wildly incorrect answers

b) get incredibly silly answers

c) get answers after I’ve completely forgotten about the question/the reason I asked in the first place

d) get actual decent answers and maybe even an extra dose of autistic explanation

#going back to getting (mis)information the old way #by word of mouth #also could make for a fun guessing game of ‘is this answer legit or is someone fucking with me right now’#plus i’m getting sick of google ai #shits started trying to sound more human by using phrases and punctuation for tone indicators #just no #if i wanted to talk to a human i would #i like my ai to sound like a machine thank you very much #i miss the old days #when google would give you a nice little box with a direct quote from the website and you could easily check if your source was useful #and you didn’t have to worry about it hallucinating #fuck ai #i’m gonna have to be careful about not sounding like toooo much of an idiot though #i basically lived under a rock growing up so #this all hinges on if anyone replies but that’s part of the fun #maybe i could get an answer in three years time to some absolutely wild out of context question

autophage

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

what-where-when

Okay but consider. It was spoons all along.

#to bowl or not to bowl

Love when my head goes black when I stand up

#yay iron deficiency !!

My cat just stole my hand and is now using it as a pillow

#cat #i love her #i love her to death and back

I’d use a wider variation of emojis but for some reason my keyboard is glitched so the recent emojis don’t update and ain’t no way I’m tryna find them every time from that long ass list so I’m simply cursed with the same few emojis 😔

I have experienced something which I shall now call ‘spicy dissociation’, in which you dissociate just enough to lose all functional ability but not enough to lose all sense of identity. You’re aware of identity, but it’s more like looking at the back of a mirror than into it. You still can’t function though, that’s just gone.

#honestly a hellish experience do not recommend #happened to me just about all day today and it has been awful #having absolutely zero sense of identity really sucks when you’re supposed to socialise and function in everyday society #why is it spicy? idk it was the best word i could come up with to describe the pain #normal dissociation is like a fog #spicy dissociation is like being slow cooked in an oven and frozen at the same time #it’s a pain and a hell that is constant but because of the Dissociation™ it is incomprehensible #and not quite there #yeah idk how else to describe it #so glad to be home #walked in my room and welcomed my normal self back with open arms

Funny as fuck to me that Australian culture is so vulgar compared to a lot of places. Like, what did you expect from a country founded by convicts?

#especially given our environment #what do you expect from people who are living in hell and fending off eldritch horrors by the daily #is by the daily a saying?#it sounds like one to me #fuck it #it is now #i’m making it one #australia #uhm #what the fuck do people tag things honestly

thememedaddy

#it wasn’t a pen it was my emotional support necklace that broke and so was really just a chain and i cried until i got it back

You know you have imposter syndrome when you doubt you have imposter syndrome.

#i mean #i think so at least #that seems like how it should work #idk tho i’m not a professional #don’t quote me on that #imposter syndrome

Shimmering Scars by Muse is such a good hurts song, 10/10 recommend, absolutely needs a music video so it can hurt even more

#such a good song #the organ bridge??? that shit was amazing #i cannot get enough of this song #it went straight to the playlist first time i heard it #now i can use it to torture my characters more

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